I was told that Marlo’s wig party was the first all cast filming of the season and producers worked to figure out how to reinsert Nene into the show after her violent behavior last season. Basically, Yovanna, Marlo were supposed to carry bones back and forth. So of course Kenya had to cause a big disruption and appear as First Season Kenya that I could not stand. I just realized Nene’s tagline this years says she is on a spiritual journey. That’s hysterical. Also, I can’t wait for this RHOA recap to see why Kandi, Kenya and Cynthia choose to have their pow wow about Nene in some sort of knife shop!
[Insert Ad for latest sham cosmetic procedure here.]
Parenting Is Hard
Kaela tries to have a serious conversation with her father. The father and daughter have just returned from a European vacation. Yet Kaela seems as sullen as a sixteen year old. She’s 23 and wants to move to New York to “chase her fashion dreams.” Todd says he is proud of her for going after what she wants. She smartmouths him with “wow,someone says that they’re proud.”
Kaela says that Todd doesn’t listen. Kaela says that Todd doesn’t know how to show affection. In my opinion this is Kaela being jealous of Ace. And also having to watch Kandi’s first born whose name escapes me be spoiled beyond rotten. She probably is the neglected stepchild, but only by comparison. Plus, Ace was his first baby. He never saw Kaela as a child.
I SAID WHAT SAID!
Poor, Kandi. She has always agreed to film with anyone she is told unlike some other people on this show. So she gets stuck going to lunch with Nene. Remember now, Nene disrespected every single one of them on the reunion. And she’s continued her shit talking in pre-show media. Meanwhile, Nene has told production she will go on an apology tour this season if necessary.
Nene starts off right away dragging Dennis McKinley asking Kandi if he was sleeping with pets. Well, no but…. it seems to be on his mind according to Tasha K. Then Nene shades Cynthia for barely acknowledging her at Pride NYC. Kandi pointed out that Nene was trashing Cynthia on a podcast calling her “weak and desparate.” Then, Nene says that Cynthia started it and one of their mutual friends recorded a conversation where she was trashing her.
Nene is seeing a life coach now. I can tell you it is not working. Am I the only one who has noticed that Nene has stopped trying to speak like the Atlanta gays and started to copy Cardi B.?
Axes, Saws & Knives
This is literally the strangest establishment Bravo has ever chosen to film in in exchange for TV promotion. The story is that Cynthia is renovating her home on Lake Bailey to make room for Mike Hill. Does anyone believe Cynthia is going to be swinging an axe or a sledgehammer at the walls in her house? I see no hands.
Kenya and Kandi show up to shop for axes to. Kandi calls Cynthia out on this bullshit storyline right away. Cynthia swears she is going to build herself a closet. Kandi mentions that she went to lunch with Nene. They give her some shit for that. When Kandi says Nene is going to a life coach now, Kenya asks if the life coach is Jesus. Because, Nene Leakes needs her some Jesus.
Cynthia makes it clear she doesn’t care about any recording Nene has of her saying anything. Nene started all the shit and Cynthia responded. She says long as she was kissing Nene’s ass and being her friend, Cynthia was Michelle Obama. Cynthia says Nene can stick her recordings all the way up her ass. I like this Cynthia! They leave without any axes or sharp objects which is good.
Kenya left begging for some wood. Poor girl still hasn’t gotten any wood in months.
Everyone Already Knows Yovanna Is The Snake
It’s the first all cast and Eva is so far saying she is not going. It’s a all cast, girl. You need a damn good reason to miss this. No wonder my source keeps saying her peach is in danger. But they are working her into this episode, so the girl will get her tiny check for that. It’s not tiny to us, but it’s a fraction of what everyone else gets. Even Marlo makes more and she has no peach. Now Yovanna has a check that none of us would even consider doing the show for. But I digress. Cynthia and Marlo discuss over video chat the fact that Marlo’s wigs are all awful. Then the both think Yovanna is the snake recording private conversations. I mean, DUH.
Porsha is still pissed at Nene for talking crap about her all over social media. And Nene was so worried she was getting kicked off the show for violence she had this video made and went on a campaign against Porsha with it! No one wants to see this bitch at this fraudulent event!
Marlos Flips Her Wig!
Bless her heart, Kandi confronted Yovanna right off the bat about being the snake right in front of Cynthia. Of course Yovanna denies it. Her voice goes up ten octave when she lies. It’s so obvious.
This is the tackiest RHOA event I have ever seen. Remember when Sheree did that add for her fashion line with random people in sweat pants? It’s worse than that. It’s worse that the print add for her fashion line with women in white T-shirts. Remember that? Where is Dwight to tell Marlo how dreadful this shindig is?
Nene arrives and Porsha gives her a full on snob. Cynthia returns Nene’s hug and kiss and tells us in a talking head that whatever games Nene is playing she is going to play right along until Nene shows her hand. Cynthia has found her backbone this season and I am loving it.
Marlo even has stupid party games. She has Nene and Porsha flat iron two wigs. This is some ridiculousness right here.
Kenya’s Arrival Makes Things Even Moore Ridiculous
A ragamuffin drumline of sorts comes banging in through the door screaming about Kenya Moore haircare and handing outgift bags of product. The group is screaming “Edges Matter!” a cheap play on “Black Lives Matter.” Nene left shortly after that. And yes she did take Kenya’s gift bag with her.
All the other RHOA that can’t stand Nene and Marlo are dying laughing. Porsha tries to back it up a bit in her talking head but she is living for this moment and so are Kandi and Cynthia. Marlo tries to get control of the room by sort of pretending that she knew this was going to happen. Kenya does a vicious talking head about Marlo being bald. Marlo continues not to take the bait from Kenya. Kandi tells Kenya she is dead wrong for this foolishness. The Marlo asks security to throw Kenya out. Kenya doesn’t leave quietly. Marlo screams at the RHOA merrily chatting away with Kenya to stop talking to her and get their asses by to her beauty shop game.
This is some hilarious stuff right here. Marlo starts trying to chant Kenya out of the room. The only person chanting with her is Yovanna, aka the snake. Nene leaves but only grabbing extra Kenya Moore products on the way out. Yovanna literally chases Nene’s car begging for her to come back. Kenya leaves after hugging the other ladies
All hell broke loose here during the last five minutes of this show. And by here I mean my house. I have been sick for a few days and had to fun back and forth to the bathroom in record speed several times. The final time was um unsuccessful. It has been one of those days.
Next week: Marlo pulls a stunt outside Dennis’s Hot dog Factory that was basically the same thing Kenya did. Kaela and Todd continue to struggle to communicate. Nene goes to her “life coach” who is definately not Jesus. Kenya goes to a divorce attorney and fake cries. She doesn’t have a prenup. That is probably true. But I believe she has an NDA and a contract for him. Yet she fake cries. Dennis and Porsha go to counseling.
Now if you will excuse me, I have some cleaning to do.