I honestly don’t know what my problem is these days. For those of you who suffer from depression, I am IN THE HOLE. It is a BEAUTIFUL day in the ATL. Like a really nice day. My life is good. My bills are all paid. I even have enough left over to help others. The world is my oyster. I have big plans for my life. And the suddenly, I am sobbing and crying and lonely and mad at the dog. I kind of know why this happens. If I don’t eat right, go for a walk, pretend it is “The Lentil Season” I get all kinds of fucked up. I make bad choices. I get overwhelmed.
Anyway, I want to just tell you guys a few things even if I can’t get recaps up timely. I am giving myself a few days off to do that.
Where to start? I guess first of all a lot of you are asking about Southern Charm filming. I told you about this here. Not much has changed. Actually, I can’t find that story. Maybe it was a blind? Basically they started filming a few weeks ago and it was totally and completely rejected. So now they have a couple of different people they think is going to do the trick. I’ve personally been advocating for K Cooper Ray to be the villain. But no one seems to listen to me. So they sent Bravo a new first episode and I haven’t heard how that went. I have no idea why the cast is acting like they are not filming they have been. But this show may go tits up. Who knows.
Also you know how sometimes they have websites on Bravo shows? I used to do that but Haymaker was pretty impossible to deal with. You don’t really get any traffic from that and it is a whole huge PITA.
I was really impressed with Jennifer Aydin on WWHL last night. She’s way smarter than I have given her credit for in the past.
I’ve already forgotten all the other things I wanted to tell you. I think I need a nap I got up really early for some reason this morning. More later. please be patient on the recaps. Thanks for all the love. More later.
UPDATE
Oh yeah I was supposed to tell you the RHONY are in Cancun.
Tamara the last few posts you have written are as if your reading my diary. You are not alone. By all means take some you time. Finding joy with all imblessed with when I get in these funks is debilitating at times. But I laughter gets me thru. I forced a bubble bath on myself last night, lit a candle turned on Christmas music. As the bubbles melted away the giant floating spider was visable. Cry, laugh, drink!
Be strong and don’t forget to laugh. Xo
I’m with you and TT on the spectrum of depression. If I were to force myself to take a bubble bath that would require running two beads of caulk down corners that I removed…5 (yes, FIVE) years ago. But let’s pretend I did that and ran the bubble bath. If I saw a spider when the bubbles dissipated I would jump so damn high the depression would be forced to take a break for at least an hour or so because I would crack myself up at just how ridiculous my reactions are at times ?
You may have just motivated me to caulk those damn corners…
Hang in everyone, this can be a tough time of year but this too shall pass.
I actually LOVE THIS TIME OF YEAR. I’m just having some sort of brain fart.
Oh an in the good news department the two year old and her little dog that move in recently in the fancy house next door interacted today. I have been terrified she would put her hand through the fence and draw back a stub. I knew he would love the twinky little male dog. He was very sweet with both of them. We are not used to having neighbors but Banjo was great with the little girl who, btw, is proabably the prettiest little girl in the word and very rambunctious. LOL I am loving her from a far. I am sure I am the crazy lady who lives next door and I am okay with that.
Come on friends Charlie Brown Christmas is on.
Charlie is my sad sack alter ego! Xo
Oops also egoNot alter lolololol
I just look like an ass now!
Sweet little neighbos willing to risk a limb just to be friends. Never fix the fence. Xo xo xo
Rest up friend in my head.
YOU NEVER LOOK LIKE AN ASS! i CAN’T BELIEVE ANY OF YOU KNOW ABOUT ME AT ALL!
Oh I love that movie! I grew up in the 70’s and the Chistmas shows like Charlie Brown, Frosty, Rudolph, The Grinch etc. were only shown only ONCE ayear and if you missed one you had to wait a whole other year to watch it! No VCR’s till the early 80’s. It was very tragic if you missed a show.. I planned my week (my month) around Christmas shows & movies. I had to attend my friend’s b-day when I was 6 and I missed Rudloph and I was bereft, I didn’t want to go. I still remember the party 50 years later. I sat there counting the minutes till my Mum picked me up. I think the X-mas movies were more special back then because you had to wait for them. Instant gratification takes too long for the kids today. Damn,I sound old…actually I AM old so fuck it. LoL. Cheers. Happy Holidays.
You should write a fictional book about your neighbors and your “hood,” the characters and settings you describe are fascinating! Maybe a little bit Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, just no murdery stuff? Who said everyone has one book in them or something?
I agree.I love Tam’s descriptive writing. Hang tight. Your blues are temporary but it’s hard to remember that when in the midst of it.
Giant floating spider. Thanks for my next nightmare.
I grok, sister-friend. I love you. I wish I could be the same person from one day to the next. But I think we’re okay, you and me both. I do. And, I don’t know. Baby Yoda In Da House and shit. xoxoxoxoxox
Could be Hip Dysplasia . Big dogs are prone to have this.
You seem very good at knowing when you need to slow down and care for yourself, which I greatly admire. Thanks for the update! I wish bravo had more multiracial casts beyond Southern Charm New Orleans. It would be interesting to see some of Black Charleston’s elite, and there’s no way the current cast isn’t already socially connected to people in that community. I also would love to see K Cooper Ray back on the show.
You have every right to take as much time as you need to feel better. Try not to beat yourself up too much.
Want me to run things for ya while you get some R & R???? (insert evil laughter…..) 😉
This made me LOL.
Depression is the hole many of us just can’t seem to get out of. I admire your honesty and think you’re amazing. Take time and do you. Love to you and banjo ??
TT, I love your honesty and your transparency about your depression. I hope it helps you to write and talk about it. Sending out love, healing, and good thoughts to everyone who is suffering from depression right now. Please know you’re not alone and that there are people who care. Take care of yourselves!
Much love to you all.
<3
Loooooong time lurker, first time commenter. Tamara, I think I know the feeling you’re speaking of and grew up in a family of people who struggled with anxiety and depression. The thing that makes me feel *somewhat better in those moments and that I say to loved ones in these moments: when your feeling it, you think it will last forever…but it didnt, and it doesn’t and it won’t! Sending positive vibes straight to ya!
Thanks. It is kind of embarrassing to whine to you all. I appreciate all the love. I think I have figured out what is wrong this time. I think I am actually sick with a cold. I turn into a whiner bigger than any man you know. lol. And I just cry like stupid baby. I’m just a bit unwell. This too shall pass.
Dont be embarrassed! My first time posting and I feel like your family! That’s the kind of community you’ve created here!
Ha! Since you are new, I should tell you that you caught me at a weak moment. I could go off for any reason, ESPECIALLY if you don’t read the commenting rules.
Most of these other folks are ACTUALLY nice people though. I have no idea why they put up with me. Welcome to our family of misfits, and crazy rich people, and well we have some of all of that here.
Wait a minute… y’all are RICH?
Some are. I KNOW RIGHT! We have a bit of everything here.
But yes there are very rich people here. Not a lot, but a few.
Well your “security” sucks cause I snuck right through however many years ago and I’m still poor ?
Only rich people allowed? Damn. @beets, not me.
I think we are looking for rich MEN. Although I am willing to be a waist up lesbian…..
In my humble opinion, I don’t agree that you were caught at a weak moment. I see it at an honest and open moment. AND that is what brings me to this site every day. I admire you.
I relate. Anxiety. Depression. I have so many irrational thoughts. Working through day by day,
Appreciate your candor.
Swannie, I totally understand “working through day by day”. It’s nice to be able to express myself here since I feel like I have no one in my personal life who understands what I am currently going through. Some of my friends have now ghosted me for being honest about my depression. I know that they’re not true friends. I don’t think they realize or care that it only makes matter worse when someone is depressed.
Prycer, I feel I’m not so great with friendships likely due to the same reasons that you have experienced. It was hard for me while in my late teens and early 20s. If others haven’t experienced it and felt how hard it is to not spiral (in my experience) they can’t or won’t relate, or maybe they feel rejected. But I have to take care of me. I get you. Don’t feel responsible for the ghosting. It’s on them. But I get ya.
Um, if there are any rich, straight men here, please identify yourselves. Asking for a friend.
Sorry this one landed in wrong place. I also meant to add SINGLE rich straight men. My friend is no home wrecker lol
When my sister was dating for the past 5 years she always asked 3 big questions:
Are you married?
Are you a raging alcoholic?
Have you ever been to prison?
From her experience it turned out all of these were very important to ask.
I hate to break it to you but I don’t think there are any straight men here. And the rich gay ones are all mine. Sorry in advance. All it takes is one gay imaginary husband with his own real life husband to change your life. BUT YOU CAN”T HAVE MINE. lol..
Now look here IJC, I got here first… I get first refusal of any single rich men on here! ???
by “single” I mean
1. Only-ever-been-single, or
2. Waiting-for-the-judge to sign the final divorce decree
TT, I hope this silliness helps, it’s helping me right now ?
Yes, this too shall pass. A message that helps me through my personal valleys:
I am the sky, everything else is just the weather.
It’s a good reminder that
1. I am *not* my feelings; and
2. Feelings aren’t forever and they *will* pass.
Hang on and hang in there✌?
Take a few days off from recapping the shows. Watch Hallmark channel Christmas movies & decompress. We are not going anywhere. In bed most of the day feel like I have lost 10 pounds with the symptoms from stomach virus. I feel a little better but still not yet there. Be well xo Marc
That reminds me of the line in The Devil Wears Prada. “I’m just one stomach virus away from my ideal weight.” I never lose weight when puking and not eating.
I just used that quote yesterday! It was not pertaining to me, sadly. ….
Can you come over and breathe on me? Lick my plates and silverware? I’ve had some setbacks on my weight loss journey. 1. I think my scale was off. I cleaned it (its glass) and moved it. Suddenly gained 10 lbs. Then Thanksgiving and a different scale. This week, PMS and bloat (I’m literally looking at the Miralax I used to give to my now dead cat… I haven’t put some of his stuff away yet). 17 months or so to my 50th birthday, and now I’m not sure I’ll make my weight goal.
Oh honey, it’s happening. Throw out the scale (hide it far away, it sounds fancy), enjoy your holidays completely! You’ll know the day or week, or month or year or not, promise. Your body is once again a changling, (damn, us girls? Crazy shit ,right?) please don’t worry about the scale for now. Focus on the fact that you can no longer get knocked up! The sky is the limit!
Scales are stupid. Especially Dr. scales.
48 and NO SIGN of perimenopause, let alone menopause… but if you mean not have had a date in ages so can’t get knocked up, I hear you.
I also get the scales are stupid sentiment… I have a doc who thinks the general population knowing the BMI scale is not a good thing.
However, I have to be honest with myself. I’m FAT. Just in losing 30 lbs since June 1st, I’m in less pain and not breathing as heavy when I walk somewhere. My left thigh hasn’t been numb in weeks, and only this past weekend, my back has hurt for the first time in months, when that pain was a daily occurance.
I REALLY appreciate your positivity and believe in the fundamentals of it. But I also need to be honest about how my body is in poor shape and I want to do better and be in less pain by my 50th.
I was full on perimenopause in my early forties. I’m surprised I’m not in jail for killing someone. I made it through, and gained 20 pounds.
I love you Tamara. Thank you through the years for giving us all a place to escape and come to know each other.
Love and Hugs to you, Banjo & everyone else here. <3
Get some Zycam stat TT. Then some croissant, good butter and preserves, French hot chocolate and take a day or two. We’re here. Pop in to let us know how you’re progressing. Snuggle Banjo.
Hugs to you. Thank you for being so honest, it’s so hard! Ummmm I LOVE your idea of Cooper Ray being the villian it just makes complete sense. I loved southern charm binged the first few seasons in like a week and then didn’t even finish last season I was so bored.
He would be PERFECT as the villain. I wish he was still on good terms, but if not, villain will do.
I really enjoyed Cooper in the early seasons. I was sad to hear he wasn’t as unflappable as I thought he was and he seems now to have strayed more then sideways. I guess we’ll just get to read here first for continuing updates!
TV going on now, I imagine I only have minutes before I die of exhaustion!
PS. I can’t remember the weather condition TT described before heading out into the WWWest, “Bango fusion” has stuck in my brain for days and um, nary a bango fusion situation happened…still waiting…
Did you get any elk? Were the new boots your lucky boots?
He’s kind of horrible. But I can’t stop loving him. I drive a million miles over landmines to get him out of jail. But, Jesus he has no… well let’s just say he need to pray harder to Jesus.
You guided me to his Instagram & let me tell you something missy its the best one to follow if you love art history music church culture food & pets. One word description: LOVELY. Thanks again xoxo Marc
At least we have Project Runway tonight! I don’t usually watch WWHL, but I am tonight because Alanis Morissette and Julia Stiles are on.
PROJECT RUNWAY DOESN’T EVEN STOP FOR ANOTHER HOUR. IAM DYING HERE. Recap won’t be up until Bravo drops photos TOMORROW . And I am recapping tonight.. Or tomorrow I am fading fast.
Dude, you need to take a fucking break! You have way too much shit on your plate. Just do discussion posts and open forums and we are perfectly capable of entertaining each other. FFS you just adopted a kid and a family right before Christmas! (We do need updates periodically on that situation though)
But seriously, you’re a mom now so SNAP OUT OF IT! (Insert Cher slap from Moonstruck here) Baptism by fire. Kids don’t GAF if you’re tired or sick, because kids… and they’re needy. It’s their thing. Just be glad you missed the preteen phase where they think they know it all and adults are stupid and embarrassing, lol.
Get some of the Sudafed with the speed in it (or bring out the Bourbon, whatever works), and Turn on some Christmas music to get you in the mood. And sing loud for Banjo!
You have the chirrun to think of. Plus once you commit, it’ll make you feel better.
There’s only 20 days left. No pressure! ?
Pretty soon it’s going to be Mama T’s streets are talking… more interesting than Momma Joyce’s and much more exciting and entertaining! Just saying. ?
Purple drank is the only thing to cure a cold!
I wonder if LB and all of his friends will start slinging around “cuntsatchel” and “douchcanoe” and “Le sigh” before too long.
I used to teach at a HBCU in South Carolina. We all got deathly ill with some shit. LIKE THE WHOLE SCHOOL. I was all alone. This giant kid showed up to my house. His folks were Geechee. I was pretty sure I was near death. He brought me some sort of nasty tea in like a 711 cup and made me drink it. I was better the next day. He was better too. We were basically two of handful of people who drank the… GOD KNOWS WHAT IT WAS but I was sure I was dying and would have drank piss in a cup if I thought it would help at that point.
Is purple drank that real good prescription cough syrup? I was sick six weeks ago and actually got my provider to prescribe me some good cough syrup and it lasted all of three days. My mom got sick as well and called me begging me to bring my bottle of good cough medicine. Like a good daughter I gave my mom the last 3 doses.
Yes. The purple drank is hydrocodone cough syrup with melted Jolly Ranchers. I prefer Codiene promethazine.
Syzzurp?! You naughty naughty girl!
I thought Flavor-Flave corned the market on that shit! ⏰?
Meant CORNERED
OMG! Now your talking about a few years of my life, but can’t partake now because of a drug now called Suboxone!
people keep telling me things and my brain is overburdened so it just falls out. Sorry,
Speaking of speedy cough meds—I went to a new dentist yesterday. One of the questions was Have you ever taken FenPhen? I’m wondering if anyone outside of the Philadelphia area took it? That shit was the bomb! Dr. Rosato was a saint in my eyes, did not deserve jail! Just curious.
You just pause and regroup. Depression has no rhyme or reason it just is. Just happens out of nowhere and then it is gone. You just take what ever you need to take care of you. Sadly, not much will change in Bravo land until you return . You are what matters not these shows. Sending big hugs from one of your damn Yankees.
Much love to all my damn yankees.
And this yank loves you <3
Oh and I forgot. I have an exclusive about the RHONY ARE added to the post. Not a place I would go alone.
I hope they don’t shit all over everything again.
We can send my random elderly to do that!
We are in the same depression cycle. It’s kind of freaking me out.
We will be fine I think we just need lots of sleep.
I went to the health food store today and ran into the lady from Africa who I gave some CBD ointment to yesterday. She was buying two kinds of CBD products because it was the first thing that’s helped her pain.
The guy doing the samples said his depression hit him like a freight train (or NeNe Leakes on high heels). First December without major depression in decades. Whether it’s the mega dose of Levothroxin, the keto, or the CBD, or a combo, I WILL TAKE IT THANK YKU VERY MUCH.
I hope all y’all get some relief soon.
I can afford my own CBD oil but I need y’all to tell me which ones work.
TT I have to say how much I appreciate your candid honest approach to sharing your journey with depression. I too, am your fellow depression anxiety sufferer.. not to mention loyal reader ? it’s truly refreshing and even helpful for someone like me, and I’m sure countless others, to hear you just lay it all out there. I have those days a lot, where I feel like I am the Titanic – I am trying hard to make it ok but I’m drowning in my depression. Just want to say I hear you and I support you.
xoxoxoxo ♥️
SAME! I think so many times we people want to cheer us up or find out what we are sad about. WE ARE USUALLY NOT SAD ABOUT ANYTHING! That is the whole thing. WTF do I have to be dad about out.? It was a sunshiney day! I have all of you guys being sweet to me! It’s just so fucking weird.
TT are you watching Masked Singer?
Yes! Don’t spoil me though! I am a bit behind!
Any guesses on who you think some people are??? Who was the reveal you saw! I DVR it and then watch so I can fast forward the fake audience reactions and the delusional commentary from the panel. I can’t believe they get paid to be on that show. Insane.
I am commenting before I’ve showered (since Saturday, sorry folks) and read but this post and a few comments in…IDK?? I lost track of days. Just returned home, unloaded my car, mostly, the rifles can stay in the boot, they did us no damn good! We hiked all over fricking middle AZ in EVERY GD weather condition, survived but came out Elkless!?. I haven’t been this dickered up physically in long, long time.
Off to shower, bubbles take too long and I need to start at the top and work down, rinsing as I go!
Did I mention no wifi and rare data? Couldn’t wait to check in…xxoo TT, Banjo and all you good people. Looking forward to catching up!
WTF? How will I eat now? GET YOUR ASS BACK OUT THERE! Err… I mean welcome home, we missed you.
The shoes … how did the boots work out? It’s ALWAYS about the shoes!
We’ve missed you and um, well, you have a lot to catch up on. We actually were asking and wondering how you were doing. Welcome home!
Aww, thank you ladies! The boots were perfect, feet stayed warm and dry the entire time (the only parts of my body that can say that), I do have tales to tell but I’m feeling a bit wounded myself today, I am trying to do a few things around the house today but mostly licking my wounds in front of the boob toob.
I don’t know here to post this so I will put it here. I scored 2 free tickets to Countess and friends for later this month. I am taking a friend who has never watched a minute of Bravo so she doesn’t know what a Real Housewives of franchise is. I hope she doesn’t hate me like she did when I made her sit through Once Upon a Time in Hollywood in its entirety because I wanted to see every glorious second of Brad Pitt. I can report back later this month, I have a feeling my friend won’t get Luann, but free tickets!
Where in Tx are you bc I wanted to buy tickets for Houston but no one to go with, expensive and not going to that shitshow alone! I get it! But if ur close enough … um , I might enjoy more than ur friend? Lol
The location is a casino in Oklahoma. I only gamble once or twice a year but they randomly sent me an email for free tickets for Countess and Friends and I could not dial the number fast enough to get them.
My friends don’t like the RHO but fortunately for me they like Sushi, Indian food, drinking, playing cards and telling bawdy stories with me so we’re good.
I WILL BAN YOU TO THE WLS FOR ALL ETERNITY IF WE DO NOT GET A FULL REPORT! xo ~tt
TT- Thank you for being honest, vulnerable and human. Sometimes I’m afraid of expressing sadness because I don’t want people to think I’m looking for a “woe is me” reaction. Sharing your truth has given me the courage to share mine. So here I go- I just found out today from my Liver doctor that he is putting me back on the liver transplant list. My liver functions are severely elevated and I have rejected 8 times. I got my first transplant in June of 2007. I was lucky because I was only on the list for seven months. However the liver I got had some issues. I was second in line so I got it on the 11th hour and the liver is only good for 12 after being removed, also I only got 65% of it cause the doctors split it between me and an infant. She has had no issues with hers and I have had nothing but set backs with mine. My sadness stems from the guilt I have for letting my donor down. I wanted nothing more than to honor his gift to me by keeping his liver healthy. I also feel horrible for putting my parents through years of hospital stays, hours in waiting rooms during surgeries and the constant worry that they may out live their daughter. Now I will put them through this all over again and at times I don’t know if I want to fight that fight again. But I will cause so many people don’t get a third chance. I know organ donation is a touchy subject with people and I see both sides. Thank you to everyone that is a donor because you can save over a dozen lives and improve the quality of life for a dozen more. If this post is to much because sad stories aren’t ideal posts but I wanted to share. So Im sorry if anyone is effected by this negatively. Thank you for letting me be open and honest.
Kerry,
When I first started this site, Another site used to steal all my shit. She would write one long post and then in the comment everyone who chat about doctors appointments and health issues and how we were all going to die.
So that is why I try to refrain from these things. But now ten years or so in, we are all friends. And I am THE WORST about whining about my emotions.
But All of us who come here know who you are. And my other adopted nephew Cho is always concerned about you. And we do all care. And I can’t imagine this happening. And you can always be open and honest here because you aren’t just a commenter, you are part of the family and we care. Also if you send me an email, I’d like to send you… something ?? for Christmas. I admit I suck at presents. 🙂 Hang in there kid. There are more of us with you than you know.
Stop with the guilt right NOW. I’m listed as a donor. I KNOW that some organ transplants (like liver, or kidney) have a rate of failure. If I knew my liver just bought someone time for 12 years until they got the perfect liver plust matched an infant? I’d be more than happy even if my heart, lungs, skin, corneas (you wouldn’t want mine anyway), and any other body part were cremated.
You have NOTHING to feel guilty about. It’s not your fault the liver wasn’t perfect. No one blames you for that, least of all the donor.
Erica and Nanette- Thank you for a different point of view. You are so right. I know my donor would be thrilled that he gave me 12 years I didn’t have. Guilt is going… going… soon to be gone.
Fizz and JustJenn- Thank you for your kind words of support and understanding. I don’t know why but it is easier to be honest with TT and all of you because I can be open with my feelings without the fear Of what I say won’t be dissected and misunderstood because you aren’t dealing with the emotions the way family is. Thank you all for your compassion and honesty. TT- you brought me to tears. Best Christmas gift ever.
Kerry, my love..
I want to share with you.
My son gave many ‘gifts’ the same year as you received yours. When you mentioned your situation on Cho’s Survivor thread, I felt close to you. I felt a bond with you more than you will ever know. It made me feel that my son saved someone like you, and you, my dear, are a very special person. You have a heart of pure love, and think of others before yourself. See the thing is, a donor gives a gift of life, but what isn’t mentioned a lot is the recipient, like yourself are truly a gift in return.
Do not ever feel any guilt. I am sure that if the parents knew you and your story, I know they would be touched, just like I am. I’m one of those parents. You are loved, by all of us here, your family, and also your donor’s family. I never met my son’s recipients, but they all have a special place in my heart.
Now I know you feel frustrated, tired and scared, but please do not be afraid. There will be another liver for you that will adjust to your body better than the one you have now. When you feel down and just tired of it all, please keep the faith that there is no coincidences. I have a strong feeling that you will finally get the right fit for you.
I also want you to know that your story gave me strength and hope in so many ways. I want to give strength and hope back to you, with so much deserved peace. Thank you for being my gift.
You are in my thoughts and prayers every single day!
Love you kiddo..
(Tamara, thank you for letting us all be a family here.)
Laila- wow! In one comment you just eased so many questions and fears I’ve had. Knowing how you feel about those that received your sons gifts is absolutely beautiful. I am sorry for your loss but please know he is the purest form of hero.
Thank you Kerry. I am so happy that I eased your mind. Always know that your gift was an act of love. I don’t want you to have any fear about it anymore. And don’t ever feel like a burden to your family, they want to be there for you. Don’t ever feel alone in all of this, even if it feels lonely at times, you are not alone.<3
Reading your post I’m struck by how amazing and strong you are. You are the very definition of a survivor.
I’m so sorry you and your family have to go through all of that a second time. I’m sure your donor would be happy to know they helped you in any way possible! Keeping you in my prayers.
Oh and I joined a neighborhood site recently where everyone tells me how I am going to die and now gives Lawn Kid work. Then suddenly someone said, ARE YOU THE REAL TAMARATATTLES? It was weird. like close to home weird and then I thought ARE THERE FAKE MEs out there? Same thing happens in the Big Brother chats when I am there. But that is more believable because reality TV. I feel like I am crushing everyone soul when I explain it is indeed me. And old lady sitting on her couch in a ghetto shack not far from you.
I find the fact that you joined your neighborhood group amazing! And no, you are the one and only.
So um, I sent the kid on a new job today and he had her take him home. STRIKE ONE. And She took him to a house in the hood where he apparently said he lives. I do not think he does. We may need to call the whole Santa thing off and he may be emancipated.
When I was in summer school community college, there was a wonderful high school kid in my class. I used to drive him home sometimes. He would be embarrassed to have me drop him off down the street. So o one would see him in the car with an old lady! I used to laugh to myself. Finally, I told him I got it. Then we both laughed. LB may be embarrassed by his home or to be seen wupith a grown ass woman.
Oh no, I live down the road from you and my kids go to Green Acres. I was hoping it would all work out with the kid and was thinking I would see if my lawn guy needed any help. Anyway let me know if you need anything. Hoping Banjo’s feet are well. Take care.
Any more word on your boy? Did you get to the bottom of what’s happening with him? I hope he is legit and didn’t play you and us for that matter. You have a great heart, I hope he is still your boy and it was a misunderstanding.
Yes, he has been driving me crazy but we talked it out. Laid out some boundaries. Today a neighbor came over to meet him and gave him a VERY nice Schwinn bike, helmet, light kit, gloves and I bought his a very heavy lock. I must have told him 40 times to KEEP THE BIKE LOCKED. It’s a VERY nice bike. They also gave him a North Face jacket that he LOVED. He must have said how much he had always wanted a North Face jacket four or five times. Then he went off to work without really seeming to get how the lock works and hopefully wearing his helmet. I ran out of steam and had him figure that all out buy himself. I had to take a Xanax today. I wanted to wait until all the meeting of the neighbors was over and Lawn Kid was on his way. I only ave like 5 0r 6 Xanax left. They are very low does but the last time I took one they kind of knocked me out. Usually, they only stop the anxiety and don’t make me feel any kind of way. So I was was waiting in case I got drowsy. I didn’t do anything buy stop my heart from beating out of my chest and being all shaky. I wish I would have taken it early.
They are expired so I was worried that they were stronger than when I used to take them. I got them back in the cat ladies days when I went for surgery. I think I got a whopping 12 from the surgeon but he didn’t really want to give me any. Anyway, I’m taking it easy. Still have a head cold. Didn’t take any sudafed for that because I wasn’t sure how it would interact with my Xanax.
I am so happy that is worked out for your boy. You had me worried there for a second. He seems so innocent and loving. How could you not fall in love with him. And his story is absolutely heartbreaking. No one in our country should have to go through what he is going through, especially a young boy like him.
It seems like everyone on this thread is having anxiety and depression. I don’t think it’s just us. I think it’s everyone in the world, with a few lucky ones who don’t.
I have been having a health issue that I replied to IJC somewhere. It’s my eyes, they have been burning non stop since October. It gave me such anxiety that I had to go to my doctor to raise my dose on Xanax. I take it once in a while to calm down, but my burning eyes made me almost lose my mind. Well, she raised the dose and the manufacturer is something I never heard of. I feel like I am taking placebos. My heart is still racing and I am shaking as well.
Are the planets like not aligned. Why are we all fucked up? lol
I think you should try and get a full script of Xanax. You don’t have to take it everyday of course, and get a low dose, if the low dose doesn’t do the trick then take another. But I strongly suggest that you have them on hand. Just to have them to feel safe when things happen. I have been off and on them for many years.
I have had anxiety all my life. I got it under control many years ago, but when things get rough, I grab for those pills. Too bad this time I received sugar pills. lol
About your boy. With how hard he works, and with you behind him. He is going to be a very rich man one day, in so many ways. I wish him the very best!
My husband, soon to be ex, (who were the people wanting a single straight man, with no kids?) just told me that the mumps were happening again. He keeps bringing home diseases.
So I think it is a collective pass on that… YIKES.
Not those kinds of diseases.
Lol with this exchange. Can thank the anti vaccination movement for the resurgence of all previously eradicated diseases. Soon polio will be back too. So much wrong info out there. VACCINATE YOUR KIDS PEOPLE! This bullshit about it causing autism is just that. Bullshit. The science doesn’t lie. It’s the same thing as the flat Earthers and conspiracy theorists who deny we landed on the moon.
Hell, it was probably Russia or China that started the misrepresentation in the first place to kill us all off, lol.
One giant step BACKWARDS for mankind.
Project Runway!
If you are given a lot of camera time early on, du bist draußen
I am actually doing really well. My guy and I hit rock bottom but it was long over due and now we are stronger and better. We somehow managed a successful first birthday for little baby, and have plans and gifts paid for our oldests’ sixth birthday. Christmas presents are on layaway. Life has been ripped out from underneath me but every day I take it one task at a time. My husband lost his job and we had to move quickly back in with my mom, which is fine. He has two big job interviews tomorrow so please say a prayer or whatever for us.
I am literally going to sleep on a twin mattress on the floor next to my oldest child. (He has a bed) So if you have a bed to sleep in tonight, please be thankful for that. We had some savings to be able to live on and I am thankful for that. Enough to cover bills for two months. But I am good and happy because I have a person that decided to fight for me and our children and I will take that over any material crap any day.
You are making it in theses circumstances. When this is over, you will appreciate EVERYTHING even more. Go to the Beekman 1802 website and read their story. Riches to rags to MILLIONAIRES! Never give up. ?for the job.
LA_in_KY
I am glad that you appreciate what is really important in life. With your positive attitude, your man who sounds like a gem, like yourself, I see things getting better and better for your precious family. What’s important is that you’re all together. I will pray that your hubby gets the job.
I really admire that through times of trouble, you appreciate the good things in life and are thankful for them.
I got dressed today and got a mani pedi.
Then back to “housecoat”.
My Dr. recommends Charlottes Web capsules from Thrive Market online – he suffers from anxiety and depressiin as well. I’m too cheap to join Thrive or buy the capsules.
So far.
Man, when I first found this site in 2007 or ‘08, it was mostly because I was depressed, sick, lonely, husband worked out of state, and I couldn’t get out of bed, would call off work, and would just lay in bed with my 2rd old doggie (who now has cancer, but is doing well) on my phone and read stories about rich housewives. I soon realized most of the sites regurgitated (nice way of saying stole) stories from other sites, so I started to look for fresh sites. And as some of you might already know about me, I LOVE comment sections….the site isn’t shit to me if it doesn’t engage readers, and has a moderator that keeps folks in line. When I found this site, my life changed. TT talked about shit I was feeling but couldn’t talk to family about. She got me out of the bed and growing tomato’s, stopped me from dwelling on the bad shit, and had me laughing about how my doggie had the same behaviors as my baby, and laugh about life living in the ghetto. And when folks would say dumb shit to her (I.e., are you black or white) she would chase their asses off like they stole her last dollar. TT, I appreciate and adore you. Thank you for making our lives better, even at the expense of your sanity. Leave and we will still be here. You are a diamond in a world full of coal.
Sorry for typos….I type better on my phone than my iPad.
Ms. T,
As a “first time commenter” ?❤️, you inspire me. I’ve read along with you for years now. Earlier this week I reached out to you and told you how damned impressed I was with your improvements.
And I tell you, I’ve had another few good days myself. I made some medical appointments because I’ve capped my deductible and I want to take advantage before year end.
My fave cousin and I are trying to wrangle all of our cousins into a cousin email chain cause “mother effing family damnit!”
And I have potential for a new, if unusual housing situation. All in the last 48 hrs.
❤️
I totally understand because I’ve been struggling for many years and thought I had conquered it until now. I also suffer anxiety attacks. I tried therapy but can’t focus enough to do the meditation she recommended. Just know you’re not alone. We’re strong enough to admit we have these issues which I think is half the battle. Take care of yourself please. Put everything else on hold?❤
I personally hate this time of year. Long story as to why but lets just go with I could skip all the holidays and not miss them. But alas I’m a Mom of 2 and Gma to 6 now…at 49…let that sink in folks. I became at Gma at 39, yep I started young. Anyway want to share a little funny story. So #6 is the cutest little girl who has chubbier cheeks than the Gerber baby. So yesterday daughter in law texts me that I can have #6. I ask why? Well seems #6 was hungry or bored, sometimes hard to tell with her. And in her walker stalked the trash can where 1 of her brothers had just tossed out his half eaten waffle. So #6 looked around, grabbed the waffle off the top of the trash and beat feet in her walker to eat it! Child is almost 9 months and has 4 older siblings she knows the deal. Them older kids leave good things to eat within reach and she likes syrup so she was busily sucking the syrup off the waffle she snatched from the trashcan while hiding in the corner in her walker like nobody could see her! I swear the grands make life worth it now.
Uh oh. Just wait until she starts walking without a walker! Little Miss Hell On Wheels!
It seems like the younger little ones learn so much by observing the older little people; realizing little people, not just adults, can do lots of stuff that the older kids didn’t realize.
TT- Thank you for welcoming into the family. I understand that the guilt is irrational and I have come to terms with it before and will do so again. TT- You are an original. After you were made they broke the mold. If there is a wanna be TT, good luck to them trying to fill your shoes!
Hi TT the low dose of lexapro my dr put me on seems to be helping and I am not one who is fond of antidepressants but realized I couldn’t go on feeling as I have. I even got out in the Atlanta sunshine yesterday and that also helped. I wish you the best and please know you are not alone in this.
Lexapro changed my life. I was addict for over 20 years the last 5 was heroin and when I got clean 2 and 1/2 years ago, I was sooo depressed and lexapro helps so much!! Im3glad you are getting some relief!
TT I know my comment is just one in hundreds that you get telling you how loved and wonderful you are but you are so special and hilarious and fabulous. Love this site more than anything! And I love all the commenters. That’s all ????
TT, you and our family here are my everything everyday! I have been told this several times in my depressed days and Kinda makes me snap out of my shit on days.“What you seek in life is seeking you”. Thoughts?
I have a question since we’re on the topic. I suffer from major anxiety/panic attacks especially when I’m driving, which I haven’t done in years because I start shaking, get pins and needles everywhere and my vision starts going black. But I’m wondering if my fellow sufferers feel that anxiety and depression go hand and hand? I don’t love everything about my life, but I don’t think I’m depressed. I get blue sometimes but no more than anybody else I don’t think. Reading what some of you are saying though makes me wonder if I’m in denial. I definitely self sabotage. I don’t know if that’s a symptom.
TT I hope you’re feeling better!
Clinically, not just speaking from experience, depression and anxiety often go together, but a person can suffer from one and not the other. Or can experience both but have the symptoms at the same time or different times.
Now … speaking from experience … when you are dealing with both simultaneously, often treating one can treat the other. So treating whichever is easiest to alleviate can lessen the symptoms of the other. (Breathing exercises for anxiety, etc.) WHATEVER WORKS.
Thank you! I think it’s finally time for me to go see a therapist and give that a shot. I’ve tried every online solution I could find to no avail. I’ve always resisted therapy, my dad is a psychiatrist, so I know they’re nuts. But at this point, I need to reclaim my life. And my car.
Fizz, I think I understand your question about the anxiety/depression relationship. I have both, but for years the symptoms of anxiety overshadowed the underlying depression. My therapist said that even though I may not feel sad or blue, the anxiety is actually a response to being “clinically” depressed. It’s like a fight or flight response. For some people anxiety is actually a symptom of clinical depression — depression that is not caused by an event or circumstance, but by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Treating the depression can help alleviate the anxiety.
For me the two definitely go hand in hand. Both involve over-thinking and dread, worry and fear, and ultimately isolation.
Talking about it is a huge step toward relief, and relief is possible. Progress, not perfection.
We are not alone.
Thank you! I’m definitely guilty of over thinking, anticipating scenarios, stressing about things that have already happened etc. I actually feel kind of dumb that I never considered depression could be a contributing factor before. I’ve always been a stuff it down and put on a happy face kind of girl. I’m seeing now that I need to rethink things. There’s that think word again. But really it’s only because of reading here that I’m realizing this. Thank you again for sharing with me, it is really helpful.
Forcing myself to get up during commercials and do a few things, folding clothes, switching from washer to dryer, just got the dishwasher going then collapsing back in bed with my remote. Kinda a hazy day here and I am so sore, motrin not cutting it! I have to go back to work tomorrow, yikes!
Am I allowed to post if I’m not sad? I have a stuffed santa and coach that I got from a Walgreens that I punch while watching Rudolph. Damn bullies. Makes me feel better.
Getting through the holidays is so fucking rough for so many.. why do we do this to ourselves?! I remember Long ago when I lived in London for a few years and would go out for a Sunday roast dinner, it was so nice to see all the families out together at any given week.. one Brit commented that it was like that all the time and couldn’t understand why Americans shove all that time into the holidays only.. I think it might have something to with the pressure we all feel to get together and then start evaluating everything going on in our lives?? Then we freaking do the same thing when New Years comes up and we go through the whole crash diet/resolutions thing? Fuck this shit. I refuse! I also turned 40 this year so I think I’m going through a little crisis from that but over all I’m deep in hole you are talking about.. oy and boy do I feel it extra after I drink! Depressing year, I’m tired of politics, moving across the country, my loveless relationship, I could go on and on… thanks for anyone who takes a moment to read this and for everyone here as you all help me have a laugh and get through this clusterfuck of a life!
Forty is the new 20 or 30. I can’t remember. So don’t be too sad, it’s just a number one year higher than 39, which is nice way to look at it.
I am with you girl. Holidays are so stressful. The decorating, the shopping, the cooking. Everyone trying to make it perfect. In the meantime we are all exhausted from it and stressed out. I’m not doing anything this year except bringing food to my sisters, no gifts or decorating. And where I live during the Holidays, you can’t drive anywhere or go into any stores. It is all congested with loads and loads of cars and people.
I’m sorry about your relationship. I don’t know your situation, but you are still young enough to find true love.
TT I am sorry you’re feeling down.
I have been kinda down as well, but did receive some unexpected kindness that really made my year!
I went to the doctor with my Mom tonight and her blood sugar and blood pressure were both super high. She thinks because she doesn’t feel sick that she doesn’t need to take care of herself and it’s so frustrating. I told her tonight if something happens to her I’m all alone in hopes she would realize what’s important… she’s too young to be in such sad shape. I’m really ready for this decade to be over.
I tired to stay awake for Project Runway last night and fell asleep waiting..maybe we are all coming down with a cold ?
JustJenn- Good Luck with your mom. I hope the situation improves soon. I don’t know your mom but a friend had a similar situation and she and the doctors thought her mom was in denial. They didn’t bombard her with scary facts they reassured her how important she is to those in her life and how much she is loved. She slowly realized that knowing her issues and getting ahead of them was better than being blindsided. My doctor always tells me to control what I can about my health before I can’t.
The doctor did try that with my mom a few months ago and her numbers have gotten worse. This time they did tell her the scary facts like stroke, kidney failure, heart attack. I’m hoping it’s a wake up call for her. I told her I’d go on a low carb (?) diet with her so I hope she takes me up on that offer.
JustJenn, I’m sorry about your mom’s health. Did the Doctor say she needs to be on blood pressure meds or diabetic meds? If not, then I think she just needs to change her diet. Low on the sodium is a must for the BP. Canned soup is the worst with the sodium. Low carb diets are a bitch, especially around the Holidays. Carbs are everywhere! But you can do it. Just give your mom a nice amount of fruit to make up for it. I think it’s nice of you to do it with her. Better yet, start it after the Holidays. Maybe start with low sodium before the Holidays, then ease into the carbs after New Years. Good luck!
My wish is that everyone could eat cake, potato chips and soda and never have any effect on us. Oh, and plenty of pasta, but that is a no no as well. Pasta is okay in small portions.
Dear God by XTC has been in my head every since I ran into the girl who is now doing my job. I feel like it was a very cruel joke especially how bad I have been feeling. The only positive was I looked okay. She even made a comment that I looked good I wanted to tell her to f yourself (it’s not her fault I know). Luckily I hair model at Dry Bar before seeing her.
I know it’s hard but get her out of your head. She is a waste of space in your mind. Better things will come your way and you will look fabulous while it all happens. xo
Hi TT
I struggle with depression too so I totally get what you’re feeling. Sending hugs over to Atlanta.
Been feeling irrationally angry at everyone and everything the past week so today I tried to channel the bad thoughts into something good. Did a lot of gift shopping for my family, friends, people who I love and care about.
Sometimes I think it’s a miracle that I still have people who love me. But anyhoo, hope tomorrow is a better day for you, Banjo (& Lawn Kid)!
Y’ALL!!!! I think I have surpassed my depression and anxiety and moved straight to rapid cycling Bipolar. I’m losing my mind.
I have been pushing through and fighting the depression by keeping myself super busy. So I went to the doctor this week and it turns out that my license expired on my bday. I legit cannot make a withdrawal from my own bank account and I cannot pick up my meds without a valid license (because, Xanax is controlled) and bunch of people were out sick or on vacay at docs office so everyone had to check in at same window, including the entire crowd of ppl who were there for the pain Mgmt clinic. 90% were totally sketchy and all the dudes were wearing their pants down past their asses. Dude in front of me in line was bent over and his bare hairy not good ass was in my face entire time I’m in long line. WHY is this even a fashion choice. It’s disgusting and stupid AF. I can’t.
Went to DMV 3 days in a row, only to be told I needed an extra document each time. THIS IS JUST TO RENEW LICENSE—no address change or anything. Plus I’m exhausted from running errands for everyone from morning til late at night since every place is open super late for holidays. Had to drive to several different counties to return the wrong Xmas trees that were delivered TWICE AND I NOW DONT EVEN HAVE A TREE! I bought all new decorations but no tree.
So, I gathered every document known to man and went back to DMV AGAIN. They close at 5. Well it’s Friday and barely 4 and there’s a line out front because they locked the door before 4 just because they wanted to. Every person (15-20 people) had a serious reason to need a license like cancer, starting a job after 2yrs of unemployment, etc. these assholes just ignored us all. People locked out were in tears and on phones calling whichever agency they could think of. One man figured out they were letting the people out the back door (the ones that got there at 3 or so), so he gets inside and records the big fat bitch supervisor saying “I don’t care if your taxes pay my salary, go back to the the line and tell them all what I’m about to tell you… it’s Friday and I can do whatever I want. Today I want to close early and I don’t GAF why any of y’all need a license. You can all fuck off and kiss my ass.”
I decided to write a note. It wasn’t bitchy. I was concerned for the cancer lady who had no insurance and same situation license wise as me, only if she didn’t get her meds, might die over the weekend. I slipped the note through the crack of the door. Finally an employee comes and asks if I need my note back from inside the glass. I asked him to just read it. He said he wasn’t going to read the note; either he’d slip it back through the glass to me or put it in the trash-my choice.
It was the straw that broke the camels back. I don’t know what came over me but all I could do was cry. I was just standing at the glass door with a full on ugly cry and mascara running all over my face. Eventually I was sitting on concrete crying and employees inside just kept walking by ignoring all of us. I couldn’t stop. People started to give up and leave. I was frozen and couldn’t move. Stayed there ugly crying for what seemed an eternity.
So now I have no tree, no license, no money and no fucking Xanax. I. Give. Up. FML
(Oh, and if ur gonna tell me to renew online, their website is fucked up and I was given a case number and told someone would call back in 24hrs. No one called and website is still fucked up)
I’m sorry. That sounds like an awful day! Some days are so emotionally exhausting there’s nothing left to do except cry! I hope you are doing okay this weekend.
I just realized I may have overlooked your comment about being sorry for IJC and I came in hot. I completely agree with your sentiment JustJenn, I do feel very sorry, sad and helpless. I couldn’t agree with you more.
Absolutely the worst, I have no words. “I’m so sorry” is completely lacking, I wish I could hug you. I literally have a half a valium from years old rx that I look at daily but always save for just such a day but when I do have a really terrible day I save it knowing there will be a worse day and I’ll need it.
I’ve had many not so great experiences at DMV in every state I have lived in, TX being one of them, strange side note…in AZ it’s MVD, why? It’s literally a tax funded service industry, they are there, in a job to provide a legally necessary service to their community. Why does it turn into them controlling their customers? Why do we, the legally obligated customers get treated like shite when we show up, pay up and do the right thing? Idk, feeling your pain IJC.
And now my comments are disappearing or else in moderation. Maybe I’m in WLS. That would be the cherry on top. FML. That is all.
I see you
I’m know you are responding to IJC, but it’s nice to see you here. Hope you had a nice time on your mini vacation. I think you said you went hunting. We missed you.
I missed ya’ll, thank you Laila. I’ll share more when I can, I’m emotionally and physically humbled right now. There’s no crying while hunting but since I’ve been back I think I’ve cried every hour on the hour while awake.
Aww, it happens to all of us. Crying is a good release to let out your emotions. Things just get overwhelming at times. I hope you feel better. As you well know, wise one, this too shall pass and you will get through it. xoxo
They keep delivering me a flocked tree which is not what I ordered. My new saying is “that’s flocked up”
IJC, DMV is a nightmare. I had to practically give my blood type in order to renew my license. They want everything under the sun which makes is almost impossible. My last time was in 2013. I asked what the hell is this all for? They said because of 9/11. I don’t believe them. I think DMV just hates us.
Most important, did you get your xanax?? That is a must have. I do not drink, no pot, but I need something to calm myself down every now and then. I have been having problems with my eyes since October. It scared the shit out of me. I have had dry eyes for about 5 years which was controlled through two very expensive meds, but all of a sudden in Oct. my eyes started burning, like my eyes were dying in a fire..lol Anyway, the burning eyes non stop through me over the edge. I begged my doctor to up my dose to help me get through whatever the hell is going on with my eyes. She did, I picked them up and it’s a new manufacturer. A crappy one for that matter. They did nothing to help, I felt like I was taking sugar pills and bouncing off the walls. Fun times!!
Oh, and I am a fixture at my ophthalmologist office, they don’t understand what is going on with me either. I am not allergic to my eye meds, so what the hell? Anyway, my Ophthalmologist called me about two weeks ago and said there is a specially made eye drop for me, but only one small pharmacy has it kinda far away from where I live. It was like this big secret. I was thinking does it have an 8 ball in it? Is it crack? What is this special top secret drop? I ended up getting it and my eyes went from non stop burning for two months to feeling the past couple of days that my eyes are a bit gritty and dry. I will take it and hope they improve and go back to when I had them under control. I have been through some scary health crisis, but burning eyes non stop is a must have for xanax…sugar pills in my case. lol
Laila, is that the Real ID? You have to bring in everything and your DNA results (not quite but almost). To fly domestically you need the Passport or the Real ID.
No I was joking. It seems like they want everything including your blood. If we had to give our blood type at the DMV most people would be screwed b’c not too many people know there blood type. But, since the way this country is going I wouldn’t be surprised if we had to show are blood type in the future.
Aw. IJC, I feel all that pain. My last trip to dmv i needed to do address validation. I freaked – they let me use my Amazon account to do it though.
And I am running around now with an expired license. Using my passport. (Having a bad skin moment and on the cusp of a potential move so I want both things to resolve first) Remembering to grab the thing to go everywhere is annoying. I don’t want to lose it. It’s incredibly frustrating that an expired card becomes invalid even if it still looks exactly like you. Especially at places like the pharmacy or doctor’s office where they know you and have seen you a million times before.
I wish I could beam you over a Xanax ❤️
WOW! Thank you all for your kind words and outpouring of support. I am humbled and grateful. I think I just reached my breaking point and it was really disheartening that the workers had zero compassion for anyone and the ripple effect their attitudes had on so many people, especially at this time of year. What is wrong with some people? IDGI.
But y’all are the absolute best and I am so very appreciative! I am just so overwhelmed and my coping mechanisms are non existent at the moment. I haven’t even been able to follow my tv shows because my brain is so full, I can’t even absorb the mindless stuff.
I still don’t have a tree, can’t make a withdrawal at bank, and cannot pick up my Rx. I think the latter is actually the worst. I’ve been having a lot of panic attacks lately (like way more and I hadn’t had a bad one in a long time), but that’s the thing about anxiety… it begets more anxiety. Just the fact that I know I don’t have those pills makes me more anxious. There’s something about just knowing you have them just in case that is a calming factor. And not having an ID just has a daily restriction on almost every activity. Not the best timing seeing as I need to access money and meds at this time of year more than any other time of year! I don’t do credit cards— just a debit card and if I don’t have the money, I don’t buy it. “Cash and carry” if you will. I’m just freaking out since so much to do and buy before kids get home and they need a bit of help this time of year also. And I do volunteer for more stuff during holidays so being paralyzed is also keeping me from getting out to do that and it makes me feel guilty for letting others down.
I’m one of those people who doesn’t cope well when things are out of my control and all of this is completely out of my control. Plus taxes due… it just goes on and on. Big picture, I know it’s not the end of the world and this too shall pass. I’m also aware that others have it way worse so I shouldn’t be griping. But if you’ve ever had a panic attack, you feel like you are dying. Intellectually I know I’m overreacting, but it is paralyzing nonetheless.
I’m so very grateful for this space TT has created and for all of you! It’s my only outlet and I am thankful for having a place to vent where people aren’t so judgmental and actually get it.
I will pull myself out of this eventually and in many ways because of the support received here.
I wish you all the best blessings of the season and hope others who are struggling as well find peace, good health and happiness.
I love you all! Thanks again…it means more than you can imagine. Time heals all wounds, right? Well, bring on 2020 because 2019 has kicked my ass!
xoxo ❤️
Sometimes I forget that I can be dehydrated from panic attacks because of two much wine and the errr unpleasant digestive effects anxiety has on my system.Yesterday I drank about five liters of Smartwater, drank two pots of tea with lemon, and had some chicken soup. I also slept more than I was awake. I did have to get up for dozens of bathroom trips, and then I drank more water and went back to bed.
Feeling a like I on the road to recovery. Still pushing the liquids hard. Electrolyte water always seems to help me the most.
Didn’t have night terrors or unpleasant dreams, or anxious thoughts until about noon today. Progress.
Glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better. Baby steps. The old saying that ‘we plan, God laughs’ seems appropriate right about now. I need Him to know that He made His point and it’s not funny anymore. But, I guess it’s really all about The Birthday so He gets a hall pass.
Oh God TT. I love you so much you don’t understand everything you’re going through I’m going through and I’m almost suicidal
Do not scare me! This comment scares me. Does TT need to IP you to make sure you’re OK?
I’m not familiar with you Fixthatbodyfixthatface so maybe I’m over reacting but the “s” word I’ve learned over the years often times doesn’t end well. Please be kind to yourself.
I’m agree Kipper. Fixthatbodyfixthatface might need to be checked on. Close to suicide is too close in my eyes. If need be, I will talk to anyone who is feeling down (very down) if needed.
Let us know if you are okay. Whatever you are going through will pass. I promise it will.
Fix…
This to shall pass. Take care, and no drinking until you get your head back on straight.
Keeping it short and sweet. Take care of you, you know I love you and care for you. Be careful of lawn boy and his friends…super happy you are giving back, but recent posts seem like you may be a target for many kids in the neighborhood. Worried for your safety!
Everything got straightened out with Lawn Boy. He was just hear picking up some food. It’s freezing. I made him soup and gave him a heavy coat. Times are getting harder for him. But I am getting better and helping when I can.