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You are here: Home / Below Deck / Below Deck Recap: 12 Seconds In Heaven

Below Deck Recap: 12 Seconds In Heaven

December 2, 2019 by tamaratattles 59 Comments

Finally got Below Deck to record so I can do a proper Below Deck Recap. We begin with Rhylee, a horrible women who dared to request that the group include something Paleo in their dinner order. Something that if one of the guys had said it would be perfectly fine, but Rhylee saying it is the end of the world as we know it. Oddly, Katie is for once on the side of truth and righteousness, or maybe just the side of NOT KEVIN and sticks up for Riley. Not that it matters much because Captain Lee has been TEAM BRO and against TEAM MOUTHY BROAD pretty solidly on social media.

Timber!

Filed under less obvious events, Tanner is wasted. But more importantly, when did he get so hot? I’ve barely noticed him all season and now he seems to be some sort of tall drink of water right before practically passing out at the bar. Oh look! It seems he is going to puke and rally! You go Tanner!  Then he decides to sexually harass Simone! But it is not sexual harassment when a bitch has been begging for your attention all season! Sidenote: I am awake because I can’t stop sneezing and blowing my nose. Some sort of allergic reaction to some damn thing, AAAAACHOO!

Click Here For More Below Deck Recaps! 

Courtney is a prude who needs to loosen up. But I do wonder how Simone can keep all of those teeth in her mouth. She seem to have more than than the average human. I forsee an awkward morning for just about everyone. It’s Kevin though who has to be peeled out of the Uber.

As I Lay Dying

Meanwhile Brian is a gonna die. Or become an amputee and literally no one gives a shit. But the drunks kindly tell him all the things he missed. And why is Bro, Brü this season? Speak the English! Even if you are dying. Apparently, he ain’t dead yet and has one final predeath fuck with Courtney. Simone makes out with vomit breath Tanner. And takes him to his bed. Tanner remembers NOTHING the next day. Which would make Simone a predator if the roles were reversed in today’s climate.

They’ll  Always Be A Morning After

And it’s awkward for all the hookups. So Ashton is a dick to Rhylee. Rhylee is a woman with opinions and her off shore behavior should not be something that Ashton gets to ride her about. But he does. And she takes it well.

Click Here For More Below Deck Recaps! 

Kevin actually apologizes to Rhylee. Wonders never cease. They actually hug it out. Tanner and Simone make out. Brian continues to slowly die unnoticed.  Wait who is that fucking? I think it is Simone and Tanner. Mom must be so proud.

It seems that Captain Lee has decided not to let Brian die on his watch. So he sends him to a hospital. What a novel idea! They have only been docked for 24 hours or so.  In other news, why are we doing a Doritos commercial in Thailand. I’ve never been to Thailand, but I am guessing Doritos are nor really a thing thing there. My favorite hotel in Paris the K+K  used to have a gas station next door. It was the BEST. THING. EVER.  You could buy beer and chips and they had a sandwich maker. It was very conducive to holing up in your hotel room. This is something that is highly underrated. I was sick one day and stayed in my room watching Hart to Hart reruns and it was one of the best days of my life!

Girls Trip!

Oh look it is six women. And we are off for our next cruise. Are we leaving Brian on shore? Simone can’t cut lemons. Because, hard. Ashton makes a sexist comment about Simone not being good at service. It was funny. Don’t tell anyone I laughed.

Click Here For More Below Deck Recaps! 

When I am able to travel again, I should get my rich friends to book a Below Deck trip. I would never tell you it was me. Meanwhile it sounds like Brian has some sort of flesh eating bacteria that had to be extracted. OUCH. Captain Lee is all “ain’t nobody got time for this!”

Below Deck RecapA Picnic In A Cave?

Oh. No Thank You Mam. And yet, she persisted. As did Brian and his gimpy leg. He returns to the boat victorious. Jellyfish are everywhere and the ladies want to know who will pee on them if they get stung. ME! I have to pee all the time. Finally something I could contribute to the crew.  Only I am also perpetually seasick on a boat. So I might puke on you too. But I am a very good pee-er.

To The Bat Cave!

Because production thought that lunch in a cave would make for good TV. Or you know catastrophic TV. Who cares either way, right? Except everyone is a gonna die. YAY Great TV!

A guest steps on a sea urchin and has to soak her foot in vinegar. Then they all just get drunk. And sadly don’t screw. But Captain Lee shows up for dinner out of uniform looking hot, so there is that. Why are they eating indoors? That’s weird. But the guests are hammered. So… who cares? Well Captain Lee does. But still. Getting hammered is kind of the point. And these ladies are fun.

Click Here For More Below Deck Recaps! 

Maybe Captain Lee doesn’t think so. But Iove that Kate and Rhylee are bonding. FOR NOW. I don’t trust Kate as far as I can throw her boney ass. We shall see. but next time she gets into it with Simone and Simone is pissed that Tanner is oversharing.

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Filed Under: Below Deck Tagged With: Abbi Murphy, Ashton Pienaar, Below Deck, Brian de Saint Pern, Captain Lee, Courtney Skippon, Kate Chastain, Kevin Dobson, Rhylee Carter, Simone Mashile, Tanner Sterback, Thailand

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. DalaiMama says

    December 2, 2019 at 8:45 pm

    I am just back from Pho-henix Arizona. I have not seen the teevee. But I love thee, Tamara. And also, I say this: BABY YODA.

    Reply
    • Debra Disney says

      December 3, 2019 at 2:43 am

      Welcome home to you! I was at Disneyland ? today! Let me say this…All I want for Christmas is Baby Yoda #obsessed ??
      We have No merchandise YET & I am hearing it is coming – early 2020!!

      Reply
      • 1sttimer says

        December 3, 2019 at 1:41 pm

        There is some crappy merch on shopdisney. Boo. I need Baby Yoda for Christmas!

        Reply
  2. Bobbi says

    December 2, 2019 at 8:50 pm

    The.new show is on at 9

    Reply
  3. Kate says

    December 2, 2019 at 9:31 pm

    Its on right now
    Does he have flesh eating bacteria? This is crazy

    Reply
  4. LA_in_KY says

    December 2, 2019 at 9:45 pm

    I wish Kate would brush her hair. She looks like me the morning after I woke up from sorority formals in college. My hair would be a tangle of hair spray and dried alcohol.

    Reply
    • snewbrighton says

      December 2, 2019 at 10:11 pm

      I kinda get the messy look, as I have fine hair…but the tangled, snarled, roots showing thing I don’t get. At least she ties that shit back, unlike the Little Mermaid deckhand.

      Reply
    • Salbee says

      December 3, 2019 at 1:17 pm

      I imagine since Kate’s hair is so thick she doesn’t have time to wash/style as often as she’d like, so instead she goes with an updo. I find her comfortable chic style refreshing in a sea of implants and mangled hair extensions. I find most women in reality TV have become a parody of their former selves by their 3rd season. There are a few exceptions of course!

      Reply
  5. Erica says

    December 3, 2019 at 1:58 am

    Kate’s and my patience with Simone is running low. She murdered limes, and can’t believe Kate won’t put her on service.

    Reply
    • Kdwagz says

      December 3, 2019 at 3:01 am

      Simone can’t even pour a beer, or for that matter, open a bottle of wine. How tragic!

      Reply
      • Erica says

        December 3, 2019 at 3:28 am

        She’s a math major and can’t figure out how to divide citrus into 8ths????

        Reply
        • IJC says

          December 3, 2019 at 10:02 am

          Lol! Sometimes the smartest people have next to no common sense.

          Reply
          • Mike b. says

            December 3, 2019 at 2:35 pm

            Yes, a mathematician who’s dream is to be a server (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

            Reply
      • Ginger Thomas says

        December 3, 2019 at 2:28 pm

        She can’t make an iced coffee but all of a sudden wants to be deemed second stew? Seems like someone must have been egging her on

        Reply
    • Salbee says

      December 3, 2019 at 1:24 pm

      Kate’s been so chill with Simone all season, when she finally let her have it last night I understood where it was coming from. Simone service skills are severely lacking. With time she’ll get there but she has to get the basics down: Opening wine, cutting fruit, making drinks etc. Also, I get that she’s smart and has a math degree but that doesn’t translate to good service skills.

      Reply
      • MelG says

        December 3, 2019 at 2:31 pm

        I agree with you. Simone wanted laundry initially. Kate didn’t want her to burn out just doing laundry and put her on service. Simone cant make drinks, she would not ask the guests what they needed, or keep them in drinks (cant make them so why ask them). She can’t slice the fruit for drinks. She seemed more interested in being on deck to flirt w/Tanner. She was in guests earshot doing that on another episode. I think she comes across entitled. She may have her PhD, may be extremely intelligent, but that has nothing whatsoever to do with people skills or service skills.

        Reply
        • Mike b. says

          December 3, 2019 at 2:40 pm

          Team Kate all the way. This is where the fourth wall annoys me. “I want to be on TV who cares if I don’t know how to make iced coffee. I’m really a mathematician”.

          Reply
          • IJC says

            December 5, 2019 at 9:36 am

            Agreed. Team Kate all the way. I hope she actually does leave. (for dramatic purposes but I do want her back on the show!) The others won’t be able to function without her.

            Reply
  6. Donna S Curry says

    December 3, 2019 at 4:47 am

    Can’t believe Simone thinks Kate is jealous because she’s smarter. Guess she didn’t study common sense in college.

    Reply
    • IJC says

      December 3, 2019 at 10:04 am

      Double lol! Just typed basically same thing right before I read your comment.

      Reply
  7. Dianne Richardson says

    December 3, 2019 at 5:18 am

    When starting a new job, you have training. Yes, Simone is a newbie to yachting. So because she’s excellent at ironing that’s all she should do. Courtney can’t or don’t want to iron to iron so she don’t have too. BS. Kate is a bitch in heat. I can’t wait until she feels like she has made so many other’s feel. Yes, i dislike kate.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      December 3, 2019 at 5:47 am

      So sad you are missing the fun of this show to be a bitch

      Reply
      • Shell_d says

        December 3, 2019 at 9:58 am

        That was harsh TT. Kate is being her typical mean self. Why did they make Simone 2nd stew if she had no experience?

        Reply
        • Lisa Waier says

          December 3, 2019 at 11:40 am

          Because this is a tv show and not real life

          Reply
          • Kdwagz says

            December 3, 2019 at 4:47 pm

            Simone was second stew based on “experience.” Courtney was a newbie, but can run circles around Simone. Courtney is the de facto second stew.
            Kate is anything but bitchy in this scenario. Can’t open wine or converse with guests? You’re fired. Bye Simone.

            Reply
        • Erica says

          December 3, 2019 at 6:42 pm

          Typical mean self? For expecting a 2nd stew to be able to OPEN WINE, SLICE LIMES, AND ASK GUESTS IF THEY NEED ANYTHING?

          She literally failed at those three things when Kate gave her a chance to do service. Those are BASICS that a 3rd stew should be able to do frankly.

          Kate did give her a chance to do service earlier, and she fucked it up.

          As Kate said, she is all for training, but when charter guests are there that is like asking Simone to swim in the Olympics when she’s still wearing water wings. You don’t teach someone how to swim better when it is the finals and people are expecting Michael Phelps.

          Reply
      • caramelcomplected1 (@caramelcomplec1) says

        December 6, 2019 at 12:57 am

        Bru is the Afrikaans way of saying bro.
        Ashton, Bryan and Simone are from South Africa where it’s used often.

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          December 6, 2019 at 1:08 am

          Ah! Thanks for the education. I was wondering about that!

          Reply
    • Kate says

      December 3, 2019 at 2:48 pm

      I think if you’re good at something then you get assigned to that job. It’s a group effort. Simone is not good with service while Courtney seems to be. It makes no sense to make Courtney iron (when she apparently sucks at it) while allowing Simone to fumble through service.

      Reply
  8. Carson says

    December 3, 2019 at 6:06 am

    I don’t think Kevin likes women. Look at the way he talked to Simone, Kate, and now Rhylee. He only wants the men to carry out his steaks, he only made his pre-game espresso martinis for the guys, and when they go out, he only hangs out with the guys. I’m guessing he’s been in one of those all boys prep schools at some point. And it’s telling that all the women were secretly cheering on Rhylee and only the men took issue with his fight with Rhylee.

    Also? Kevin seems woefully unprepared. He didn’t have enough seafood for the Seafood Extravaganza. He doesn’t have the “right” food to prepare for a White Party dinner when previous chefs have managed exactly that without breaking a sweat.

    And didn’t Capt. Lee reprimand him for not cooking food to a high enough standard ? Yet last charter he cooked steak and beans and on this one, he simply turned out chicken parmesan and broccoli?? Olive Garden could do better than that!

    Just saying…

    Reply
    • LA_in_KY says

      December 3, 2019 at 7:13 am

      I dont think it looks visually appealing either. There is no “wow” moment when the food comes out. He just doesn’t seem very inspired or passionate about creating meals for the guests.

      Reply
    • Kate says

      December 3, 2019 at 2:54 pm

      It’s so surprising to see him treat women so poorly since he was raised with sisters. The whole “men will serve the steak while the women will serve the sides” was ridiculous. However, I have to say Rhylee was obnoxious at dinner. It would have been easier if she let him order for the table and then placed her own order for her “non-diet” needs.

      Reply
      • Salbee says

        December 3, 2019 at 3:48 pm

        Totally agree with you!. I kept thinking didn’t he just say he was raised by his mother???? The strength of the women on this show really highlight how bad some of these boys can be. I wish I had have of their balls in my 20’s and 30’s, the girls I mean teehee!

        On a different note I would pay cold hard cash to watch a season where the roles on Below Deck were reversed just so everyone could get a little taste of their own medicine. maybe Captain Lee and Kate as the charter guests?

        Reply
      • Erica says

        December 4, 2019 at 12:49 pm

        I’ve seen it before, this double standard, among TEENAGERS. Kevin is too old for that shit. A student of mine had a sister and a mother he was very protective of; no dad in the picture.

        I caught him passing a note. I got the note. I read the note. It was disgustingly awful, sexual comments about what he wanted to do to the girl in front of him (what really got me is that in the same note, he disparaged her intelligence and personality – when she was smarter than him just quiet and had no interest in him)

        I have been so mad where I lost vision (I didn’t see red, I saw black) about 3 times in my entire life. That was one of them.

        Later, in the VP’s office, he was making excuses and the VP was letting him (the VP was a woman too! Literally turned to me and asked how his grades were!)

        Luckily, Mom was livid too.

        The kid really didn’t get it until mom or I (I can’t remember) said. Hey, your sister’s attractive. What if it was HER being discussed in that note? He got angry.

        I know that it is bullshit to have to say that you shouldn’t treat women that way because she’s someone’s sister/daughter/mother…. but for that kid, it is what made the lightbulb come on.

        Reply
        • Prycer says

          December 4, 2019 at 7:34 pm

          Erica, I totally agree with you. In my own experience I have noticed that guys who have been raised by women and have sister’s have been some of the most disrespectful men. My ex boss is a prime example, he has three sisters, a mother and several aunts who raised him and has a daughter himself and yet he is the most misogynist prick I have ever come across. I do not get it, you would think the opposite.

          Reply
          • IJC says

            December 5, 2019 at 9:42 am

            OMG SAME! My ex-husband to a T!!! The shit he says to our daughters… well they don’t really speak to him anymore once they got to know him after they turned 18. Plus, he’s a loser in other ways as well. ?

            Reply
          • Erica says

            December 6, 2019 at 3:17 am

            Honestly, I’ve always felt it was like because they had zero close male role models, they felt like they had to go to the stereotypical male asshate douche to show they were male.

            Reply
  9. Bushwick says

    December 3, 2019 at 7:54 am

    I’m happy for Tanner & Simone, but I hope he gargled some booze before they made out after he puked. Barf!

    Reply
  10. VillageMutt says

    December 3, 2019 at 8:09 am

    Who was in bed with Ashton?
    Kate?
    Court?
    Another hooker?

    Reply
    • Salbee says

      December 3, 2019 at 1:09 pm

      Courtney was in bed with Brian. Didn’t notice Ashton bunking up with anyone.

      Reply
      • flenzy says

        December 3, 2019 at 5:09 pm

        Ouch! His knee!!

        Reply
  11. Salbee says

    December 3, 2019 at 1:31 pm

    P.S. TT I didn’t realize what seemed different about Tanner until your post. My hot radar when off too!! Even drunk and barfing he came off as sexy, confident and cool. Well until he divulged the dirty details. I blame that on the sweaty hangover babbles though.

    Reply
  12. 1sttimer says

    December 3, 2019 at 1:48 pm

    TT, sorry to add this to BD post, but no where else is appropriate either. I hope you don’t consider this a spoiler, but IMO Lea episodes are always the best Good Doctor episodes. I hope you catch up on Shawn as soon as you can.

    Reply
  13. therealdeb says

    December 3, 2019 at 1:48 pm

    These guests are hysterical, they are a harmless bunch at least. The guys were totally shitfaced, and pouring Kevin into bed cracked me up. How they can drink like that, in that heat and then work the next day is crazy. I would need 3 days to recover. And I’ve decided I’m not a huge fan of this yacht, it’s far too white for me.

    Reply
  14. kimmy says

    December 3, 2019 at 2:48 pm

    The guests requested to eat dinner inside because of the heat. Boat must have air conditioning. I agree that Kevin is repeatedly, woefully unprepared with his meals! I believe Simone is second stew because in first episode, at stew meeting with Kate, she told Kate she had more experience than Courtney. That is why Kate named her second stew. I agree that her service skills are awful! Loving Kate.

    Reply
  15. PopCultureKelly says

    December 3, 2019 at 4:22 pm

    Tanner puked then made out with Simone. So fucking gross

    Reply
    • Prycer says

      December 4, 2019 at 7:45 pm

      IKR, I almost puked watching it. I bet Simone is so embarrassed and grossed out after watching that episode.

      Reply
  16. AmberS says

    December 3, 2019 at 4:25 pm

    I’ve been looking at TT multiple times a day for a really really long time now but I’ve never commented before (on any blog of any kind)….but I had to comment to let everyone know that Rhylee may come across as having a bad attitude but she’s definitely treated as someone who is “less than” on that boat and among the crew. Apparently they didn’t show it but Rhylee did NOT get any share of the tip on her first charter- yes she was only there half of he charter but that is still incredibly unfair. Brian received a full tip and so did Tanner when he was down sick but Rhylee did not revive a single penny for working her butt off while the deck crew was down people. That is so wrong and is such double standards. I’m starting to change my opinion of Rhylee hearing how crappy she is really treated. Oh, once Rhylee finally complained about it to Kate (who presumably told Ashton) Ashton offered to only give Rhylee $300 ($100 from each deck crew member).

    Reply
    • Karen says

      December 5, 2019 at 10:57 am

      oh my goodness. That would never fly if it were Brian! I’ve always liked Rhylee and I like the way she takes no shit on Twitter too

      Reply
  17. Erica says

    December 3, 2019 at 5:17 pm

    Sooo I have some rich friends, but none of which have enough money for that. Although I do have one family member that might, but I don’t think she spend her money on something so frivolous. With that said, can I bandwagon on your rich friends charter? I’m secretly hoping it’d be me with a ton of gay guys drinking, eating, and having fun! A girl can dream!!!

    Reply
  18. Janfan says

    December 3, 2019 at 7:37 pm

    Kate commented on her hair somewhere saying she starts the seasons with a neat, styled updo and it goes downhill from there. In that heat – I’d be a sweaty mess. I hope they go back to the Caribbean next year. The heat seems extreme. Im sure the reason Kevin was ordering was because he said early on he was proficient in Thai Food. I’m sure the crew sought his advice on many nights out. Even if the had an English menu – the fish & meat cuts are called different things in different countries. Calling Rhylee out for putting in a preference for food? He was just ready to bitch – and he let it out on her. He picked the wrong chick to unload on!

    Reply
  19. Ingrid says

    December 3, 2019 at 8:57 pm

    Why do the guests want Italian food when it is a thousand degrees in Thailand? All I wanted to do was scoop up those sea urchins and bring them back to the yacht for dinner. Cut open those bad boys, yum!

    Reply
    • Erica says

      December 4, 2019 at 12:34 am

      To be fair there are plenty of authentic hot weather dishes in Italy that aren’t the heavy dishes that Italian Americans tend to focus on. If it is that hot, do some caprese salad, some melon wrapped in prosciutto, offer extremely cold limoncello..

      Reply
    • Salbee says

      December 4, 2019 at 10:33 am

      mmmm sea urchin… me too Ingrid! However if RHOC has taught us anything it’s that just cause you have a little money doesn’t mean you have a refined palate. I am shocked across the board at how little many of the housewives eat and know anything about good food. Remember KimZ being freaked out by guacamole?

      Reply
  20. Betsey says

    December 5, 2019 at 8:41 am

    Your recap really had me chuckling this morning. Thank you for putting a smile on my face. LOVE YOU!

    Reply
  21. Karen says

    December 5, 2019 at 11:04 am

    I just cannot with Kevin! He was a complete dick to Rhylee. Kevin was so dramatic and over the top. Talk about desperate.He’s sub par at best and the most disrespectful ‘chef’ I have ever seen.Mr “don’t call me chef, it pisses me off” I bet he wouldn’t say that to Capt.Lee. I was thrilled that Rhylee gave him a rash of shit. Who does he think he is? ugh! I didn’t like him the first day

    Reply
  22. Kipper says

    December 6, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    I like Rylee, she’s bad ass in my book. She may have a hot temper but she’s good in a fight, stays on the subject and doesn’t take any shit. I admire that in her, I wish I had some of that, I usually just get upset, stalk off, stew, cry, then later think of all the things I should have said.

    Reply
  23. Kipper says

    December 6, 2019 at 7:27 pm

    Simone broke chain of command. There is a reason for chain of command. Kate was absolutely right in reprimanding her for complaining to other crew members. I understand that she wants to learn and do something different but mid charter isn’t traing time…

    I’d have been that lady that went to the kitchen escape weird boy talk and and try to play with the crew, oh and serve Cpt. Lee? Yes please.

    Reply
  24. Aud says

    December 6, 2019 at 9:05 pm

    I’m pretty new to this show, and have really been enjoying binge watching and the recaps.

    Sign me on for also being grossed out by the vomity/cigarettey make out session. Plus Simone is getting on my nerves.

    Reply

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