I am going to try to get into this RHOA recap tonight but my mind is on other things. I’m hoping this recap will stop me from freaking out about those things. I just noticed that Eva was super pregnant in the peach holding scene and also they were all in different colored dresses.
Kenya and Porsha go to a Jitterbug class and dance with their babies. Who would have ever thunk I would be typing that sentence? So cute. Kenya insists on wearing heels and Porsha is twerking it out. Because, of course. Kenya talks about her marriage to Marc. She says Brooklyn sleeps in the bed with her and with Marc when he is there. Marc and Kenya are not having sex. These babies are so cute.
Moving On Up To A Deluxe Apartment In The Sky
Kandi is such a good parent. She has been sending Riley to summer programs in London and Stanford for the past few years to help he learn to live away from home. Riley wants to be an attorney and Kandi’s entertainment lawyer is letting her intern with him. Kandi also has a really nice apartment for her to live in in NYC while she does that. It’s $5,547 a month nice! Dayum. This makes me feel even worse for my lawn kid. 🙁 NOT HELPING! She got a Porshe when she was 16. Lawn kid doesn’t have a drivers license, but he says he knows how to drive.
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Riley doesn’t know what an ice tray is. The doorman brings up all of her bags. She has to be given money to tip him with. When Kandi explains that she needs to always tip, she asks for a tipping allowance. Kaela explained she has never had an allowance and worked summers for her money. I wish my lawn kid could trade places with him. Riley is shocked she is going to have to clean her own bathroom. Tonight, of all nights, I find this very irritating.
Nene Has A Make Up Lunch With Marlo & Yovanna Spills The Tea
On tonight’s episode, Yovanna finally gets to do some of her bone carrying. The poor girl got a very cheap friend contract strictly for this purpose and only will be on a handful of episodes. Last week, Nene kind of hysterically bolted on Marlo via a Central Park pedicab. So now they have to make up because no one else really wants to film with Nene. So Yovannaa and Marlo have to carry bones for now.
Marlo tries to get Nene to make up with Cynthia. But Yovanna tells Nene that Cynthia said being friends with Cynthia was toxic and a burden. I don’t even think Yovanna was there for that. She saw it on some sort of Youtube thing that I think Kandi did with Cynthia at the wine store.
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Y’all, Bravo done set up a video camera INSIDE OF EVA’S FRIDGE! WTF? Is nothing sacred? LOL!
Wear Red, Or GET READ!
Best party them ever! Kandi tries her best to stop Kenya from regifting the doll that Eva brought for Brooklyn to the Barbie Bash. But Kenya has to be all extra knowing that Eva will be at the party. Gurl, stop!
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I love that Eva wore white with red sneaks. I have to say that when I pull photos for these recaps it is so hard to choose Eva photos because she is DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. Dare I say she is the prettiest on the show? There is your controversial statement for the night. Who do you think is the prettiest. I have to say they are all REALLY pretty.
This shindig is fraught with controversy already because all the baby mamas were told to make other arrangements for their babies. Porsha hasn’t found a suitable nanny yet because she has first baby syndrome and Mother Teresa would not qualify for her nanny position.
Yovanna Love Tries To Earn Her Shit Stiring Check
Now I am thinking about Lawn Kid eating himself sick. Sigh. Sorry. ANYWAY. Cynthia asked for no babies but Porsha apparently had no child care. Cynthia called Kenya and said she can bring the baby and the nanny if she wants to. Kenya has a nanny! Why would she bring the baby to an adult event? Kenya is very short with Cynthia on the phone. WITH CYNTHIA. Come on Kenya. We are all trying to like you this season and you are making it so HARD! This whole event is getting half an episode, so I know the drama is only going to get worse.
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Eva and Kenya are very polite. For now. Everyone brings something to eat which is cool. When Eva asks about Riley and Kandi catches her up to speed she says, “She is more well traveled than 40 year olds.
Yovanna does the job that Bravo is barely paying her to do. She starts stirring the shit between basically everyone. Cynthia says that she told Yovanna what she felt about Nene and if she felt the need to run that back to Nene then she is fine with that. Yovanna keeps on stirring for her tiny check. Cynthia has grown a pair this season and I a here for it!
What’s A Bit Of Regifting Between Friends?
Porsha arrives with baby PJ. Kenya contributed some lobster. Porsha brought the obligatory Hot Dog Factory hot dogs. Don’t shade her for that ladies! I keep meaning to get to The Hot Dog Factory. Fuck. Why didn’t I do that during the break? That would have been a good story for the site. Remind me to go during Christmas. It seems like maybe Porsha isn’t the one who brought them.
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Everything is going great until Kenya decides to stunt and regift Eva’s gift to her child right in front of Eva, who was kind enough to give it to Brooklyn. So not cool, Kenya. Why does she do these things? Porsha knows it was a gift to Kenya from Eva. Porsha wants to fix things. She goes straight to Eva to tell her what Kenya did.
Bad Energy
I am definitely Team Eva on this dustup. Eva decided she didn’t want her kids around a filming that might be hostile. She came, she brought a lovely gift and Kenya is being a cuntsatchel. Just went things could not be worse, it is time for Marlo’s call time. Le sigh.
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Then suddenly Kenya is going on Cynthia. None of what Kenya is doing right now makes sense. Again, I am TEAM EVA and I TRY SOFA KING HARD to be Team Kenya. Then Marlo tries to come for Eva. Oh HELL NOE. Eva says Marlo says mean shit because she is mean. TRUE FACTS. Then Marlo says Eva doesn’t say what she wants to say because she if fake. No girl, Eva tries to keep things respectful. She has children and doesn’t want to be looking like a fool on TV. Marlo’s tricks don’t care how stupid she has to look for a dollar. At least Marlo has a bigger check than Eva and doesn’t have to keep the tags on her clothes to return them anymore. Yeah. I said it.
Eva Decides To Leave
I love that Eva decides to just leave. She is pregnant, she has an ex stalking her, she has a husband and kids waiting at home. She ain’t got time for this shit. Marlos screams about Eva living above her needs. That is laughable. Eva may make less than Marlo on the show but she is not buying ridiculously expensive shit with designers names blaring all over the place. Eva has a husband who is a lawyer and kids. She has recently bought a house that is sensible and has no need to show off. Eva is not laying with old white men for money. Eva has a sweet little family a nice house and a five year contract for a radio show in Dallas that pays WAY more than Marlo makes on RHOA even with Marlo’s giant raise. So eat that, Marlo.
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Back at the table everyone seems to be going after the hostess, Cynthia. I not know what the fuck is the reason for that. Apparently,production wants them to play a game no one wants to play. So they go back inside so Cynthia can do production’s bidding and bitch about PJ and the nanny taking up so much space. Why? Cynthia loves PJ and all the babies and we all know she does not care about this.
Shady Awards
WHAT? How the hell does Porsha not win Best Twerker? She is the Princes of Thotlandia! I can’t believe I don’t have a gif of her twerking! How did her sister steal this award!? Marlo won for shadiest person. Kenya won best read because Eva left. You won by default, Kenya. How am I just noticing Marlo’s man hands. If I had not seen all those mugshots I would wonder if she had transitioned.
Why does Yovanna think Tanya is thirsty? She barely said a word on this epsisode?! What is wrong with these people? And who the fuck is Yovanna and why does she get a vote? She is just there because no one wanted to film with fucking Nene! Yovanna should get this award. I love how Porsha shades her. And Yovanna wins the Thirsty Bitch award.
Marlo OMG MY HEART BREAKS EVEN MOORE
Wow then things suddenly get heavy. Who is the most insecure and instead of pointing fingers, people talk about their own insecurities which feels like a real moment for a change. When it comes to Kenya she says in front of Marlo, God and everyone, “never finding unconditional love.” Good Lord, I was just starting not to feel sad. This is heartbreaking. Even Marlo supports her and I am destined to cry all night. Marlo….MARLO steps up to the plate to lift Kenya up. Whew. I need a moment.
Nest week: Nene tries to come back via Kandi but then says that someone recorded everything Kandi has said about Nene. That should be interesting. Todd and his daughter have a real conversation about how he doesn’t know how to show her affection. Kenya disrupts Marlo’s wig line with a Moore Hair Care intrusion. REALLY KENYA? GAWD.
When I got up this morning I didn’t have but one nerve left and I’ll be damned if Kenya didn’t get on it. She’s still my girl but she rapidly losing ground. Is this a means by way of her getting a bigger salary next season? Git money boo?
Eva is the prettiest. Cynthia the nicest. Kenya the trickiest. Kandi the smartest. Porsha the shadiest & only because its Christmas I will say Nene is the most accomplished i.e Broadway. Will watch tommorow before work. Love the voluminous details you provided for this stellar recap.
Kandi has a Grammy and has also stared on Broadway. Kenya has a crown. Eva and Cynthia were established models before this show. Nene had the best quick weave in Athens.
ROFL MAO
NeNe wins for person most likely to be cast in the remake of Bride of Frankenstein. She already has the wig. Also, for Ingenue Model of the Year because the Moose Lodge is going to update its logo and heard NeNe was available for modeling.
I still haven’t watched since the Ingenue Moose made her appearance. It’s kinda nice.
Kandi is the most accomplished. She was writing and singing Grammy winning songs and building businesses long before anyone knew Nene even existed. Also, Kandi had millions before she was even 30. By now, she can buy Nene at least twice.
Can I just take a minute to talk about the “no kids” thing? I used to attend a fancy, Black-Tie event that happened every year and EVERY DAMN YEAR there were women who insisted on bringing their kids. And I’m not talking babies, I’m talking anywhere between 4 and 8. And every time we tried to suggest that they consider leaving the kids home, “next year” (You have a whole year to make plans!!) they would look at me condescendingly and say, “You don’t understand. You don’t have kids.”
Well…I’ve BEEN a kid and I survived the babysitter and I’ve BEEN a babysitter and the kids and I both survived! There is nothing less appealing than bringing kids to adult events. The adults don’t want to drink in front of the kids, the adults end up catering to the kids rather than enjoying themselves, conversations are constantly interrupted by kids demanding attention, and the adults end up having to leave early to put the kids to bed.
Okay, thanks for that!
Also?? Marlo is annoying the crap out of me. She’s so petty and so argumentative that I’m starting to dread seeing her show up onscreen. And I sympathize with Kenya but that thing with the doll was shady AF. If you’re going to re-gift it, at least don’t do it in front of Eva. That was truly mean. Just mean.
I think it is okay to bring the kids if the drop by is quick and casual. “I couldn’t get a sitter, but wanted to stop in and see everything you’ve done. We are leaving in a few minutes.”
I totally agree. When I didn’t have a sitter, I stayed home. I have family members and friends guilty of dressing up their kids to attend adult events and it plays out exactly as you described. I really feel it was an excuse to show off their kids.
Totally agree with all of this,
Eva is pretty, Kenya is beautiful. Kenya is what I imagine Helen of Troy must’ve looked like. Anyway, as far as Eva Vs Kenya. Why come to a kids party without your kids then shade the host? It wasn’t nice and Eva didn’t have good intentions. Also, the way that info was relayed to Kenya wasn’t nice either. Not sure why no one else sees why that bothered Kenya.
Thank you blk.priest, I definitely agree with you. Unfortunately, I find Eva as a try hard with her nasty shade, talking about kenya having a late in life baby and Cynthia laughing so hard. It’s sounded nasty and stupid. I know so many women including myself who had to settle in life before having kids, it’s called priorities. Two weeks ago, Eva is calling her cast mate “nappy heads “ and today she’s laughing at women having kids in their forties, it’s unacceptable and insensitive.
I definitely see why Kenya was bothered and appreciated the well deserved shade she brought, though I could never do that. She did it for the plot, it was like rhobh Bunny Gate with a twist. That conversation Eva had was disrespectful and she constantly has talked bad about all of the women including Cynthia, implying she was an old model. Both Kenya and Eva are equally beautiful to me, both goddesses
THANK YOU!!! While the re-gift was/may have been unnecessary, it didn’t come out of thin air. AND, Eva is a BITCH! Marlo is right about Eva. And anyone who makes me take Marlo’s side is a mess! Eva has a super slick mouth but doesn’t stand by anything she’s said when it gets played back. Eva has some of the shadiest “energy” on the show, but always talking about other people’s energy.
As for Cynthia, she HAS NOT had Kenya’s back this season so far, and that’s where Kenya’s frustration with Cynthia comes from. Even Kandi recognizes that Cynthia blows with the wind…whichever strong personality has the spotlight is where Cynthia will tumble. It use to be Nene until that snake bit her…TWICE. Then it was Kenya, but Kenya actually appreciated the friendship. Now it’s Eva for what reason I have no idea, and because of that Kenya is on Cynthia’s backburner, just like she was when Nene had left the show for that half a season then came back during the cast trip that one time.
#TEAM\KENYA
Exactly!
I agree. Kenya really is stunningly beautiful, physically. I just wish her inside matched her outside. Eva is pretty, but her attitude takes away from her physical appearance. As for why Kenya was offended, I too get it. But, the way Porsha delivered the message to Kenya made Eva’s statement sound worse than it actually was.
Sorry but I can’t stand Eva. She was being shady and was caught out, as someone else mentioned the way the info was relayed to kenya is also a problem. It does seem Eva and Kenya patch things up soon though. If any of you guys watch kandis speak on it YouTube show she mentions that Eva told her ANOTHER reason why she didn’t bring her kids to the party and this is all revealed a few episodes later. Eva is beautiful but her remarks about nappy headed women, shamea not being Blaque with a Q, and her first baby daddy being black black just remind me of the comments she made on ANTM all those years ago to Yaya. I’m not saying she’s a colourist but she’s obsessed with complexions it seems. I’m glad Da Brat spoke up about it on Dish Nation also even though Eva is her colleague. I’m kinda liking that we’re seeing a sneaky side to Cynthia, her aligning herself with Eva though may not working in her favour because my gut instinct tells me after this season Eva will be out.
I think Eva is pretty, but I don’t care for her personality. Eva is my age and thinks it’s out to constantly shade others about being older. Newsflash you’re not twenty anymore, honey.
Kenya wants to be liked and accepted and lashes out when she’s not. Eva DID hurt Kenya’s feelings by saying she didn’t want her kids around Kenya and Kenya acted out like she always does.
This episode was kind of a snooze fest but next week looks good!
“They are all REALLY pretty except Nene and Marlo” <—- fixed it. LOL
Thanks to bad wigs and 10lbs of makeup, Marlo and Nene are marginally attractive at best.
I almost agree with you 100%. I think Marlo is pretty in an unassuming kind of way, and I think Nene is horrendous looking no matter how much work she has done.
I guess I’m the lone vote for Cynthia being the prettiest, but I think she has a certain inner beauty that shines through, and she’s very graceful. She doesn’t look “hard” like Eva does (to me — just my opinion), and while Kenya usually looks great, she also has a hungry glint in her eye that detracts from her beauty (again, my opinion).
I think Porsha has the most beautiful eyes of all of them, and Kandi has her own little sparkle.
Have to agree with Bosandi about Nene and Marlo.
Yes Cynthia is the prettiest to me aswell. Kenya is stunning of course. I always thought Kandi was gorgeous and she always looks better with less hair, less makeup and dresses that fit and aren’t ridiculously tight. Marlo is the least attractive, even over Nene. I’m sorry but she’s VERY masculine to me. She’d make a nice bloke I guess.
@Chelle, you are so right about Kandi. Less is more with her, and her casual style is her best look.
I agree on Marlo too. I wish she could find HER look, whatever it is. Right now, she always looks like she’s wearing a costume. Badly.
Don’t the housewives watch each other’s shows? Regifting the baby gift & returning the bunny feel like same story – different show. We’ve seen this storyline. It’s been beaten to death. Ugh. Keep the babies out of the ugly fray ladies! The women are too complex and interesting to have to go so low as to bring the babies into it. Leave the babies at home ladies. I have to agree with Eva on this one – housewives parties & babies don’t mix well.
I am really sick of Eva making fun of other women’s life choices when it comes to their fertility choices. A woman should not have to apologize/explain why she does or does not have children. A woman should not have to apologize/explain for waiting or not waiting to have children. And women should never shade another woman about these matters.
You’ve said exactly what I’ve been thinking. Thank you!
I must not be watching the same show as some of you. Eva never said Kenya had negative energy. She didn’t want her kids to attend the party in case anything popped off with the group. When Porsha mentioned Kenya, Eva merely said they weren’t friends. Cynthia was the one that mentioned energy, in reference to no one in particular.
As for the prettiest, they’re all very attractive. Since she got married and expanded her family and empire, Kandi seems to be radiating.
There is no question Kenya is beautiful but she’s so ugly on the inside, it negates what’s on the outside.
Porsha is a looker. I liked to see her being light & silly, dancing in the kitchen with her Mom. She should have won the twerking contest because her ass in INCREDIBLE. It should have it’s own zip code.
I was mad at Kenya and Marlo for running Eva out of the Bailey-Que because she is stunning. I wanted to see more of her and her clever retorts.
I’m biased but Cynthia edges them all out on looks. I identify most with her and her laid back personality. I also saw her model in an AIDS benefit show a few years ago and almost fell off my seat when she came out. She’s even more attractive in person than she is on TV. Her cheek bones, eyes, height, smile & aura screamed REGAL.
I am not watching this show right now so I depend on TT recaps. It is difficult for me to watch women tolerate infidelity and general mistreatment by their men. Porsha should never return to Dennis, she should be done, done, done but it is obvious by what she said on on WWHL that she is going to. I just can’t watch the Porsha pain right now, Dennis broke her heart and is going to keep on breaking it. He has not and will not change.
It’s looking more and more to me like the Kenya Moore twirlwind romance was another business arrangement. At least she got a baby out of it. She needs to quit being the poor pitiful me victim with Marc, hold her head high and move on. Kenya’s got emotional issues that started from the day her Mother rejected her that she hasn’t dealt with. At some point a person has to deal with childhood issues and move on. Kenya is a lot, she is a whole lot and it’s going to be difficult to find a calm, kind, loving understanding man for all her goodness and emotional issues too. I thought Kenya regifting the doll was tacky, she is probably trying to get to Kim’s bunny return status and get the doll a place in Andy’s clubhouse. Kenya is so try hard, too hard.
Eva is pretty, she is, but she really doesn’t have any idea how to style that prettiness even though she came through the modeling industry. She has no clue what her style is so she covers herself in yards and yards of material and braids to the ground trying to be avant garde or something. Instead of following the latest fashion whim or trying to shock and awe with her style she needs to find a style that accentuates and not overwhelms her beauty. She’s got it, the beauty that is, she just doesn’t know what to do with it when other people aren’t dressing her. And if someone is dressing her, that stylist needs to have their stylist card revoked for messing with the Eva beauty.
Eva slays for sure! I’m wondering: the further we get into the season if that Yovanna lady is going to be the snake that Eva mentioned on The Real… hmm…