On tonight’s Below Deck recap, I am expecting to write about the return of Rhylee Carter to replace the dearly departed Abbi. Abbi by the way is not regretting her decision to leave at all and is living the dream with her greek husband, the yacht captain, in the Greek Isles. And literally, the very second the show starts, Banjo gets up to let me know he needs to go out. His timing is always like this. Every day at 2:18 he wants to go out. That is two minutes before the elementary school next door releases all the tasty looking children to go running by,
I kind of forgot that Smashton made out with Kate last week. Kate regrets it. She says it was like kissing her brother. Apparently, Simone is into Tanner. Also, Courtney is in to Tanner. How convenient! Clearly, the deck isn’t the only thing that needs to be hosed down on Valor.
Coupling Up
The crew is a hot mess this season. Now that Abbi is gone, the deckhands don’t have anyone to blame their problems on. Tanner is still sick and Brain manages to just walk into the side of the boat and bust up his knee. The charter guests are FSU alums. And just like most other morons with money, they are not there to experience Thailand. They are there to make Thailand just like Tallahassee. They are assholes. Also, they are also Trump supporters. Sorry for the redundancy.
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Kevin micromanaged a beautiful lunch of the beach, much to Kate’s chagrin. But it went off without a hitch and no one had to be carried back to their quarters. One of the guys is sexually harassing Simone already. Did I mention they are three couples? Or maybe not. It seems it is just three boys and three women. The women are already asking for the deckhands to work topless. They are both getting a divorce. I can’t imagine why. What is wrong with these people? Now Kevin is flirting with…. wait for it…. Ashton! Courtney can’t operate an iron.
The theme for the first dinner is FSU frat party. As one does when you and your friends are pushing 50 and on a luxury cruise in Thailand. I can’t with these people. The producer driven storyline of Simone suddenly not knowing how to be a stew at all is completely over the top. Nonetheless, they have Simone and Tanner flirting on one end of the deck while the overgrown frat boys are in desperate need of their jellos shots. Simone and Tanner enjoy romantic sunset while the guest start to lose their buzz. When Kate chats with her about it, she goes super easy on her. So easy that Simone doesn’t even get Kate is annoyed with her.
While the guests are eating dinner, Ashton decides to give his dick a quick rinse. Wait, what? Oh! They squab the deck. Way better than swabbing your dick. Because, ouch.
Try Not To Die!
Earlier, the Captain came to check out Brian’s knee. She seems irritated that he is going to have to call a doctor. But he doesn’t call a doctor. I guess he is waiting until they get back to port? In the mean time, Brian was screaming in pain all night. He knee is seriously infected. Apparently when he banged it on the boat he also cut it. Poor thing.
The next day, is Pirate day. Apparently, we have left college and gone back to grade school. These kids will be singing The Wheels On The Bus by the time they disembark. Meanwhile, Brian my die of some sort of rare Thai infection.
Oh No! Not again!
Ashton gets the news that Rhylee is the new deckhand and he is not happy at all. Captain Lee says he wants to see if she’s learned anything. With deck crew dropping like flies I don’t think this is the time for that. But, Clearly production does.
On upcoming Below Deck Recaps it looks like we will see Rhylee try to steal Brian away from Courtney. Has Brian not suffered enough? And Alexis Bellino is a charter guest. Kate loses her chill, finally. Captain Lee loses his chill as well. It looks drama-filled. I can’t wait.
I could not stand Rhylee during her season, but I found her very likeable during the reunion.
And, hasn’t she talked a ton of shit about Captain Lee in interviews?
Yes, she basically said he does nothing. I enjoy Below Deck, but this season has been boring. Rhylee is anything but dull. I’m glad she’s back.
Wow-e-zow-weeee! This is a ton of fun! Below deck brings the drama and I am here for it! Thanks for this recap TT, I am definitely going to have to catch up.. I thought I was getting a little Bravo-d out believe it or not but I guess not now. Felt like bravo-con and all the non stop instagramming and WWHL intro fest put me over the ledge but am now thankful for BD!
God TT I ❤️ Your recaps! On point and sarcastic as hell. And if the trumpsters are taking over the world where the f am I going to live??? In a world where the most entitled rich people inhabit every corner of the globe? Can you imagine ? No thought about anyone else but immediate gratification? Is this what Rome felt like before the fire
Watching Brian, I wonder if he has developed cellulitis in that knee. It is in infection that spreads like that, makes you nauseous, and usually requires IV antibiotics. I’ve heard that infection can develop very rapidly in that tropical environment.
That ending was a doozy. Doesn’t look like Rhylee has reformed at all. It has to be production-driven that she got called. I mean if you are Captain Lee trying to decide between the devil you know and the devil you don’t know… wouldn’t you go with don’t know in this case?
And then the final scene with Kevin and the expresso martini. Is he being Kate? That was funny & frightening all at the same time.
I was wondering if he had MRSA. I hope not.
It can spread quickly & that’s what made me wonder why he never saw a doctor. That infection can get in his blood & he could die or lose that limb. With all the diarrhea , vomiting & now cellulitis makes me think twice about ever going to Thailand….. who am I kidding I’ll would never get the chance to go anyway
It looks like anyone who misses the rest of the season will be SORRY. Tons and tons of conflict. Of course, I could stand to miss Alexis Bellino making out in the arms of her boyfriend, but I’ll put up with it to see the rest of the mayhem.
I have actually been enjoying the mellowness of this season. Kate seems to have had her body taken over by a calm, laid back…almost meek person. I’ve never seen her this way to such underqualified stews. Clearly that doesn’t last long. Perhaps she runs out of Xanax.
Agreed! Looking forward to the next episodes!
Alexis Bellino is a reality show travesty. She’s not fun to watch, AT ALL. Remember her “fashion” line? At least we don’t have to watch Jim anymore, he was on of the two most unlikable husbands (tied with James Marchese)
Riley? I would rather have Chandler than Riley. Even the cross-eyed “model” instead. Or maybe not. Jezabob before Riley, for sure. I didn’t like her from her first words. Talking about how badass she is, then expecting her fellow deckhands to carry her luggage.
“A one-legged man at an ass-kicking contest.” I love Capt. Lee. I bet he would “rather drag my dick through 10 miles of broken glass” than re-hire Riley.
Those charter guests? Rich Neanderfucks! Off-white trash!
Speaking of off-white trash … Alexis Bellino. BelliNOE! Maybe I will like her without Jim.
I feel sorry for Capt Lee that production made him call Rhylee to come back. She is unstable and causes trouble left and right.
Everyone always looks so uncomfortably hot and sweaty this season. Even though the scenery is gorgeous, I’m not jealous of them being there. Better for me to just enjoy it on TV. I like it cool!
I hate to break the fourth wall for you but Captain Lee didn’t call Rhylee. Production did. Captain Lee’s phonecall was fake. Just like Kate calling (?) in Thailand in English asking for a captains hook and Seminole themed decorations was also fake. Production plans for the guests well in advance to make sure they have (or don’t have) whatever they need. All that crap arrived before Kate did.
I was dying thinking “Do they REALLY expect us to believe someone in Thailand knows what ‘Seminole’ is?”
“ Sorry for the redundancy“ made me chuckle! Thanks TT!
Longtime reader first time (maybe second) commenter. I am living for Courtney’s tweets! She’s witty and snarky. A lot like Kate and TT!. I find Rhylee entertaining and and somewhat likable– at least during the reunion, If she’s calling out Captain Lee she needs to take a seat. Y’all I love Below Deck and rank it up there with my other favorites–Top Chef and Project Runway. I hope Kevin’s negative comments about Kate’s chief stew abilities were from earlier in the season because I enjoyed watching the pair banter back and forth last night. One last thing, I love Kate Chastain in all her glory– the good, bad and ugly. She’s relatable in a way that I find refreshing and I can’t wait to hear what’s she’s going to say next. I plan to daydream about a show with her and some of my other favorites: Bethany, Sonja, Kyle, Captain Lee, Tinsley and Christian Siriano.
I love you comments. I agree with all. I also like comments from people who I do not agree with, as long as they follow the commenting rules, because they are intelligently expressed. We like the same shows. Someone said Top Chef is boring. WTF? Even if you don’t like cooking —I learn new stuff every season — the PEOPLE are hilarious. And UNSCRIPTED. And good prizes throughout the challenges. I really hope Project Runway will start doing more of that. Especially trips for the designers. Only a couple of more weeks until PR. An early holiday gift to us!
Thank you Nanette! Huge compliment especially since I’ve always enjoyed your comments. even more so with new tagline. I try and have something delicious for dinner whenever I’m watching Top Chef or I get hangry. I was worried about the talent on Project Runway way last season but towards the second half everything started gelling. I’m obsessed with new previews. My kids even loving watching with me! I went back and watched Christian’s season and it was so awesome to see how far he’s come. I would die to visit in atelier in NYC even just to touch something. I understand where the scripting came in but not to the level they’ve taken it. Rewarding violent narcissism seems counterintuitive but I guess the numbers don’t lie? The only Housewives I record now are NY and BH. Denise brought some levity I needed. Dear God Please don’t let her come back as an asshole in season 2. Oh my friend saw Luann recently in the Atlanta airport and said she was very naturally beautiful and really tall. Which I guess is like DUH but I enjoy hearing what people look like in real life.
I am making a temporary logo that will have my graphics email address in the graphic. (I think it will retroactively replace the braNo logo, but I will just swap back or replace with another.) Anyone who wants one of the avatar logos I create can message me and I will send along.
I am up to some really good evil for the next RHOA NeNe recap. So if anyone who likes NeNe wants braNo, please tell me you IF YOU DO LIKE NeNe so I don’t send you the new evil one.
So um, I’ve been trying not to tell y’all this, but the ratings had a bump when Nene came back and Bravo is thrilled with her. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
That sure says something about society, doesn’t it?
OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Really? I want to yell “really” too but REALLY?
What the fuck! How? HOW? Who are these dreadful people supporting Nene’s return?
Well isn’t that just FUCKIN PEACHY! Clearly their demographic is stupid af retards. They probably have the show on the TV in the jails. What the actual fuck? smdh
Sorry. I didn’t mean to be breaking this news in the Below Deck Thread. But yes. It is true. Maybe we should not tell the others.
Oh fudge. Only I didn’t say fudge. Do people really like her? Or love to hate her?
Ughh They should put all her scenes in a dumpster fire. She belongs on a Flavor or Love Remake. She does remind me of Tiffany Pollard now that I think about it. How long after her reality run does Nene run out of money I wonder?
Do you think it could be a post-BravoCon bump vs a true RHOA bump?
Maybe so, but the suits are giving Nene the credit. And that is all that matters.
Doing the math on this, your dream show could happen if Bethany books a charter and brings her good friends Sonja and Kyle. And Tinsley too, although I don’t remember them being friends. One of them can bring Christian as a guest or as the fashion designer on their glam squad. I can see Bethany letting loose with that group and laughing a lot. Wouldn’t you love to hang out with them?
I am so excited for Project Runway this winter!!!
That would be so amazing. I really hope we see Bethany again in some capacity. I think she had a soft spot for Tinsley. I loved it when she lost her mind on Luann when she mocked Tinsley’s slurring.
I am no snowflake but was anyone else as taken aback as me when Tanner said in a preview that he went down on Simone? TMI…
I am happy that they hook up though. IMO, he’s the hottest guy on the boat.
I think that might have been a confusion of idioms between countries. I don’t think he meant he went down, went down. LOL.
Phew! I sure hope so. I had the visuals in my head which I was not trying to see at all. LOL! ???
Um, sorry to gross you out but I just now finished watching it and that is exactly what he said. He’s also from New Jersey so I’m afraid he meant it the way it sounded.
Yes Tanners comment definitely caught me of guard. He didn’t strike me as one to kiss and tell. I still love him though! Do y’all think it was Brian and Rhylee hooking up in the scenes for next week? They are in a top bunk, which Courtney’s is on top as well. Guess we’ll have to wait and see! He is hot but I don’t see the them meshing well. He seem like too much of “bro” if that’s the right term.
With Riley everything’s a fight and confrontation. Even a nice “good morning” can end with Riley stomping off in a huff. Oh well, she should be a burr in Ashton’s butt so that could be fun.
That is an EXCELLENT point. I have done a (not quite 180) turn on Ashton after his “never worked so hard to get my dick sucked” comment. If one of my guy friends said that to me about a girl he was courting, I would have laughed and teased him (forever after). He tried to explain it away on WWHL saying it was something he likely shouldn’t have said. And that it is a common thing many guys think. But about a co-worker, trapped on a boat, in front of cameras. No bueno.
Me too on Ashton 180! I went form thinking he was strangely babyfaced stripper/wrestler hot. Next up– wow he’s a nice guy underneath his stripper exterior–to finally ew gross he’s he’s a 50 year old washed up Chippendales dancer who likely has herpes. BARF. Ashton get it together man.
Tamara, this is one of the best recaps ever!
I have to say that I also think that this is one of the best recaps ever! I just now finished watching this episode. These guests are awful. Thailand has been brutal on the crew. I’m already annoyed with Rhylee from just watching the previews of her. It’s all coming back to me as to why I’m not a fan of hers. Once again, production has to mess up a perfectly decent crew dynamic.
I’m afraid of the previews not only because of Rhylee but it looks like Kate finally has enough. I’m trying to keep telling myself that it’s probably just editing and/or production driven scripting. Even Captain Lee looks pissed. That doesn’t look fun.
I really hope that Brian’s knee was seen by a doctor and that he is okay. I’m also trying to tell myself that if it had been something really serious surely we would have heard something in real time. Knowing how much a part production plays in all of these shows really does take some of the fun out of it. Again, Bravo is the devil.
Alexis Bellino as a charter guest? I’m sure that’s no coincidence! I was just starting to get into this season. It does seem that all the drama is starting next week like it or not.
You saying Banjo likes the tasty children made my evening. I hope you keep him on a leash, because I was attacked once and it was scary as hell. I was wearing boot cut denim and she mostly got a mouthful of denim, but I had a hell of a bruise because they bite and shake. Is getting over the fear, because I let a big dog slobber all over my face.
I’d be all for Tanner hooking up with Simone. I had to laugh at Kate having to show her how to open a bottle of wine. I think there are some experts in here. How many times have we opened our own, or watched a real housewife open one.
I’d probably enjoy a meal made by Kevin. Is not a big fan like you are. He’s arrogant but what chef isn’t?
Is it just me, or has been Captain Lee been smiling more? The group of women he had dinner with last week, he was actually laughing and having a good time.
The thing is I have new neighbors who I think already hate me. They have an adorable little girl who is two and is a real spitfire. I could see her sticking her arm through the chain link fence.So I don’t let him out when he needs to go if she is out there. I am just worried she will come out and try to pet him. He’s not overly fond of children and is not socialized. This does not help my anxiety.
Maybe let Banjo see you interact with the little spitfire. Once he accepts her as family, he’s not likely to get aggressive. The dog who attacked me was out playing with a dad and two little girls. It saw me as a threat for walking on the sidewalk.
There was also the leashed dog who would snarl and lunge at me. I thought the dog considered me an asshole, then I stood and watched him attack her, and realized she was the asshole. Meaning your dog may be picking up on your mood.
As a human who did chihuahua rescue, and who has/had unsociable animals, I am blunt with people. Especially my neighbors. Who have a dog named Edgar who-literally-loves every being on god’s earth. (One of my rescues tried to eat him. Edgar’s tail kept wagging as he went down)
“This animal protects its property. Please be aware it could come at you or your child if you cross its territory”.
People can be morons. Generally I side with the animal.
TT- Great recap! Cellulitis is no joke. I had it in January of 2018 after major abdominal surgery. I had already been discharged from the hospital and it developed within a week. There is swelling, redness, extreme tenderness (kinda like a bad sunburn) and a high fever. I was readmitted to the hospital and the wound was drained and I was treated with heavy duty IV meds and ended up with a wound vac in the hospital and at home. I hope Brian sees a doctor soon because an infection like that in a joint is a nightmare. Sorry if I grossed anyone out.
You didn’t tell us about your thyroid, so I think you’re okay. And yes Brian I hope got it taken care of.
So now we have a 2nd season with Captain Lee and Ashton where someone is at risk of losing a limb. Captain Lee will be like, you’re a hard worker and I like you, but you bring bad luck so get off my boat!