On tonight’s Below Deck recap, I am expecting to write about the return of Rhylee Carter to replace the dearly departed Abbi. Abbi by the way is not regretting her decision to leave at all and is living the dream with her greek husband, the yacht captain, in the Greek Isles. And literally, the very second the show starts, Banjo gets up to let me know he needs to go out. His timing is always like this. Every day at 2:18 he wants to go out. That is two minutes before the elementary school next door releases all the tasty looking children to go running by,
I kind of forgot that Smashton made out with Kate last week. Kate regrets it. She says it was like kissing her brother. Apparently, Simone is into Tanner. Also, Courtney is in to Tanner. How convenient! Clearly, the deck isn’t the only thing that needs to be hosed down on Valor.
The crew is a hot mess this season. Now that Abbi is gone, the deckhands don’t have anyone to blame their problems on. Tanner is still sick and Brain manages to just walk into the side of the boat and bust up his knee. The charter guests are FSU alums. And just like most other morons with money, they are not there to experience Thailand. They are there to make Thailand just like Tallahassee. They are assholes. Also, they are also Trump supporters. Sorry for the redundancy.
Kevin micromanaged a beautiful lunch of the beach, much to Kate’s chagrin. But it went off without a hitch and no one had to be carried back to their quarters. One of the guys is sexually harassing Simone already. Did I mention they are three couples? Or maybe not. It seems it is just three boys and three women. The women are already asking for the deckhands to work topless. They are both getting a divorce. I can’t imagine why. What is wrong with these people? Now Kevin is flirting with…. wait for it…. Ashton! Courtney can’t operate an iron.
The theme for the first dinner is FSU frat party. As one does when you and your friends are pushing 50 and on a luxury cruise in Thailand. I can’t with these people. The producer driven storyline of Simone suddenly not knowing how to be a stew at all is completely over the top. Nonetheless, they have Simone and Tanner flirting on one end of the deck while the overgrown frat boys are in desperate need of their jellos shots. Simone and Tanner enjoy romantic sunset while the guest start to lose their buzz. When Kate chats with her about it, she goes super easy on her. So easy that Simone doesn’t even get Kate is annoyed with her.
While the guests are eating dinner, Ashton decides to give his dick a quick rinse. Wait, what? Oh! They squab the deck. Way better than swabbing your dick. Because, ouch.
Try Not To Die!
Earlier, the Captain came to check out Brian’s knee. She seems irritated that he is going to have to call a doctor. But he doesn’t call a doctor. I guess he is waiting until they get back to port? In the mean time, Brian was screaming in pain all night. He knee is seriously infected. Apparently when he banged it on the boat he also cut it. Poor thing.
The next day, is Pirate day. Apparently, we have left college and gone back to grade school. These kids will be singing The Wheels On The Bus by the time they disembark. Meanwhile, Brian my die of some sort of rare Thai infection.
Oh No! Not again!
Ashton gets the news that Rhylee is the new deckhand and he is not happy at all. Captain Lee says he wants to see if she’s learned anything. With deck crew dropping like flies I don’t think this is the time for that. But, Clearly production does.
On upcoming Below Deck Recaps it looks like we will see Rhylee try to steal Brian away from Courtney. Has Brian not suffered enough? And Alexis Bellino is a charter guest. Kate loses her chill, finally. Captain Lee loses his chill as well. It looks drama-filled. I can’t wait.