After two Neneless RHOA recaps, alas the time has come. I’m here to recap so that you can boycott. Hopefully this will put a dent in the ratings. Nene has been a wreck on Twitter the last two episodes retweeting any tweet she can find that said people missed her. Then she basically went on a hate campaign against her RHOA castmates. And this week she cause this episode “the actual premiere. Kenya Moore has suggested we just fast forward through the Nene scenes. I hope you all just don’t watch and read here instead. I like all of the taglines this year. That’s rare.
Eva tells Cynthia that she had to pack up and move two days after Nene outed her address last season. The sperm donor of her first child, as she called him, Kevin McCall, recently went back to jail in Atlanta while he was trying to get custody of the kid. He needs no custody and people need to stop helping him figure out how to find Marly. Marlo is part of the problem with outing Eva as well. I can’t imagine having psycho constantly stalking. I did live next to a psycho next door though.
Porsha Tries To Deal With Dennis’ Cheating
I’m trying to remember if we saw Tanya Sam on the first two seasons. Y’all, my memory is shot. Tanya is too good for this show. This season, sadly Tanya is going to carry bones between Nene and the rest. Porsha is now BFFs with Tanya for that reason. Porsha tells Tanya, Tanya tells Nene. Porsha talks to Tanya about Dennis’ cheating. She says Dennis says that she was not emotionally available. She shows Tanya photos of all the things they were doing together during that time. Frankly, Dennis needed to be more available in every way to Porsha while she was carrying his child. Porsha has lost all trust for now.
These Bravocon commercials are slowing me down.Eva has a crush of Captain Lee. I mean, doesn’t everybody? Today Ashley from RHOP said she has a crush on Captain Sandy. Me? Not so much there.
Marc Daly Is A Dick
Kenya is a super over protective mom. Che, Kenya’s cousin comes for a visit and Kenya is already telling her she is doing it wrong. I have no right to judge as I only have a dog and I am very over protective of Banjo. She tells Che that things with Marc are tense. I am not sure how much I believe Kenya when she talks about the more romantic times. Kenya complains about not having date nights, but won’t let anyone watch Brooklyn so she can have one.
When Marc shows up to film, I am reminded how clever Kenya Moore was when building her house. She got the house at a steal and basically completely flipped it. Then she worked out all kinds of deals for appliances and toilets, and granite and all the expensive shit that the plugged on her social media. She’s a smart cookie.
Except when it comes to relationships. I can’t really fault her for that though. Childhood trauma often makes close relationships damn near impossible. Marc may be hot but every word out of his mouth is mean toward Kenya. He’s sweet with the baby but treats her like dogshit. When he isn’t being a dick, he just ignores her.
Kandi and Todd argue about how the baby shower will go with a surrogate. I say skip the shower. Kandi doesn’t need anyone to buy her a diaper tower. Kayla wants to move to NYC to work in fashion. Kandi says she was going to give her money for her birthday but Todd would not let her. Kandi doesn’t like that Todd and his 23 year old daughter go drink at strip clubs. I know it sounds crazy, but in the ATL that’s not that unusual.Strip clubs are kind of the same thing as any other bar, but with naked chicks here and there.
Noelle Goes To Her First NYC Pride Parade
On last week’s RHOA recap I told you that Noelle told her mother that she is sexually fluid. I doubt that was the first time Cynthia had that talk with Noelle, but she was still great about it. Mike Hill calls Cynthia while she is preparing for the trip. His concern is Cynthia will have her first encounter with Nene since the reunion on a float.
Cynthia and Eva get ready for pride. They talk about all the crap Nene is talking to everyone before the season started. Tamara Tattles exclusive sources say that Nene was willing to go on an apology tour to hold a spot on the show. But, apparently, she did not. At least not yet that we have seen. Because Bravo loves conflict.
Eva is not in the mood to deal with Nene Leakes after she put her life in danger. Noelle calls asking for her mom’s makeup artist to help her put on her lashes. Gurrllll I am eleventy billion years old and never put on false eyelashes. I bought some a long time ago and I am still afraid to put them on.
We need an entire episode just for Pride. Or a special. But sadly that is not happening. Andy apparently likes the taste of moose asshole. What? I’m just saying. And while everyone else dressed for the occasion someone tied up a white pride shirt and wore some sort of balloon shorts. And shockingly, it was not Andy Cohen.
So what did you think?