This RHONJ recap is coming to you live from my bedroom, a room I have not sleep in for months. Wednesday night TV is so good I have to use two DVRs to tape everything. I watch The Masked Singer, Survivor (tonight’s epiosode is two hours), The Challenge, The Oval and the two housewives shows. So Let’s get started. I’ve been self-medicating my ankle a bit so bear with me. The usual typos may be worse than usual. 🙂
Joe Giudice has been transferred to the ICE facility. As I keep saying, that is not a good place to be. In the meantime, Joe Gorga has written a book. This is a laughable concept for so many reasons. And is why ghost writing is a thing.
Teresa’s “lawyer” who is clearly who she is doing ALLEDGEDLY is always her first call. Or at the very least a media whore. You should always click on the links.
The girls all talk to Joe. As I have BEEN SAYING FOR YEARS Ice facilities are horrible. This is not news to people who read here.
I don’t get this whole deal with Delores and her new man. She is building a house with him. Whaevia. It’s weird that her ex if building it. This whole thing is weird.
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Jennifer is reveling in her latest plastic surgery. I am bored. Her daughter is struggling in school. She is a beautiful girl who is being cyberbullied. I hate they put their kids on TV at all. I must be doing a terrible job of recapping because we are 20 minutes in an I am still seeing commercials. It’s just a lot of nothing.
ROFLMAO AT Joe Gorga “Writing A Book”
I can’t with these functionaly illterate people “writing a book.” They have like a third grade education. I can’t with this. Dolores is planning a party to cheer Teresa up. Teresa wants to invite Danielle and not Jackie. Joe with his daddy was sweet though.
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In other news, I am remembering how much I love my big, high bed. I may have to bounce on the RHOD recap until tommorrow. Especially because Banjo is sleeping on his bed here tonight.
The fact that I am already caught up on this show waiting for the commercials means it sucks. IJS.
Melissa Turns Forty
She’s having a party and Melissa says Teresa doesn’t want Jackie there. Or wait…it’s an obstacle party she doesn’t want her at. Remind me again why we watch this shit?
I CAN’T EVEN with this fake Danielle storyline. Danielle is not engaged to royality. Danielle is probably on crack. I cannot express enough how stupid this is.
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Danielle’s realy name is Beverly. LOL I had forgotten that. I keep wondering why the producers thought an obstacle course would be a good idea.
Banjo came in this room and laid down on his other bed and then got disgusted and left.
This was an episode of nothing. I am anti women fighting but literally, nothing happened tonight. Jennifer continues to be a bully while whining about her kid getting bullied. Teresa keeps sticking up for Danielle. Teresa is a moron. That is all. Back with RHOD tomorrow… This bed is very comfy.
Oh, fuck. Danielle is back. How long before she tells everyone she’s bought her own collection of private islands, opened a worldwide chain of restaurants, married all the best men in the world, and got her Black Card before Madonna?
Oh wait, she already bragged about that last one. She has all of Karen Huger’s and Sonja Morgan’s delusions of grandeur with none of their charm.
I’m going to sound like a real asshole I’m sure here but I feel like they are airing all three of these housewife franchises OC, Dallas and ATL at the same time to make up for the fact that they all suck so bad. For me it all just doesn’t stand up to NY. But what do I know, I’m just a huge stan of NY and nothing can compare. I have always liked ATL and it’s just getting started, but I fear I’m already bored with all the baby talk, sigh. Kenya’s baby is the cutest I’ve ever seen, so I’m gonna just keep on with it and see how this Nene spitting thing goes down??
Oy frackin’ vey. Between Joe Gorga writing his “book”, and RHOC’s Shannon Beador’s daughter advising her college application adviser that she is “writing a book”, I have to tell you, my peeples, that I am a bona fide ghostwriter, and while adult people with money hiring someone to write a book for them is sometimes disturbing, what is really disturbing is the number of teenagers whose parents buy them the services of a ghostwriter, so that they can include “wrote a novel” or “published a memoir” on their college application. I once had a phone consult with a teen “writer” whose mother wanted to buy her the services of a ghostwriter (me), but who kept interrupting our phone call because the sample packaging of her daughter’s “flagship skincare line” had arrived. The kid was 15 and very sweet, and utterly exhausted. And thanks to her overzealous and very rich mother she had a fledgling skincare line AND a nascent middle grade novel to deal with on a daily basis. I can tell you that did Not. Turn. Out. Well.
How do you choose which people/books you work with?
As a former editor, I laugh every time I think of someone writing and editing something “written” by Teresa. WHERE do you draw a line between keeping her voice and letting her be the idiot she is? Do you let her run with “Lentil Season” or correct it? Do you charge extra for making someone appear smarter?
I think Melissa said someone approached Joe with the idea to “write” a book on flipping houses. So my guess is that it was done before he put his “stamp” on it.
@DalaiMama and @Nanette,
I just have to thank you both for giving me the best belly laugh I’ve had in a while. I’ve been in a piss poor mood and not feeling well to boot. So this laugh was sorely needed. Thanks again to you both. “Do you let her run with ‘Lentil Season’ or correct it?”, combined with the rich overzealous mom of a “teen writer “…. my God you can’t make this shit up! Hilarious! Lmao 😂 y’all are one of the reasons I come here! Priceless!
how the hell does a teenager write a memoir? May be I’m just ageist, but whenever I see a relatively young person come out with a memoir, I kind of shake my head; don’t you have to live a little to have a memoir. Oy. As for Nanette’s questions on how a ghost writer works; seriously, remember Teresa’s ingredientses? Publish that, baby 🙂
i just cant with all these lip injections..especially Jackie’s are horrible on tonights episode..It makes me focus on them and Melissa’s nose job..she hardly has any nostrils..
Absolutely, yes to being distracted by the lip injections last night. Especially when they turned to profile the upper lip jutted out so far! I have never been so focused on that before.
Did anyone else hear the news that Kelly Dodd is engaged?!
Watched season 2 today. It was on all day & I was glued to the tv. Danielle is certifiably nuts & how Teresa made amends with her is just nuts. I wonder how Dina feels about this?
I wonder if Milania will want to live in Italy with her Dad? She really has seemed to miss him. Gabriella is so pretty now. I didn’t watch tonight’s episode because I am in Memphis. Had to score some good ribs & BBQ. I also want to make a hairline comment. When you get to be in your 50s and 60s you wish for a lower hairline. Five high and thin ain’t no fun. Those girls have lovely hair.
I love The Challenge! TT, would you consider doing recaps of that show? You know, with all your free time.
I have missed so many episodes. I think they might be on my bedroom VCR but I never get to them I tried tonight but keep falling asleep.
This ep was really boring. When Jennifer is the most interesting person on the show it says a lot. And the top knots? dear god who told them they looked good? The sales lady’s was even worse than Teresa’s.
I loved that Melissa told the camera that “Joe made his fortune” in business and that everyone wants to know how to be like Joe, so he wrote the book. Weren’t they having major financial problems and trying to sell that house? I haven’t been following NJ for a couple of seasons but had it on last night because I was waiting for Dallas.
And could the book been any thinner? Looked like a pamphlet. And looked like they ordered only 25 or so.
Are they still in the house that had a family of raccoons or something in the walls? The one the lease to own guy backed out of because it was so poorly built?
I’m pretty sure it was beaver’s in the walls. 😂😂
Now do the impeachment hearings. 😉
I would die to read Tamaras impeachment hearing recaps. Die.
That would be THE BEST. I bet millions would start following.
I was disgusted with Theresa. She is ALWAYS bitching that she is essentially a single mom now. “But I’m a single mom” “My life is harder because I’m a single mom” “My brother Joe and his wife should kiss my ass because I am a single mom”.
So, what is she doing when Joe Gorga and Melissa are getting their three off to school? Working out (it said it was 7 AM), leaving her father (who I keep expecting to just fall over any moment) to handle that chaos along with her 18 year old daughter. I hope that Gia isn’t coming home all the time from school.
Was anyone else wondering why Joe’s call from ICE detention wasn’t thrown to Speaker? Especially after he told them time was short? That seemed so strange to me. “Hi Joe. We’re all here. Putting you on Speaker.”
I’m curious as to how Teresa is able to afford such a massive house, especially being single with four kids, one headed to college. Also did anyone notice how awful Danielle’s face looked? She was almost recognizable with those wrinkles around her mouth and that hard botched look.
Last but not least, Margaret read Danielle like a best selling novel and I’m totally hear for it.
Finally had time to watch. With the chaos around here, finding time to sit is difficult.
When the puppy is the easiest being to deal with in a house full of adult humans, you know things are out of control.
Those girls should not be suffering on tv. I don’t care what Theresa does, but leave the girls out of it.
However, the utter stupid blank look of Theresa’s when the girls are discussing their dad, is great.
I enjoyed the obstacle course. Margaret’s comment about pussyrings made me guffaw. Yes!
Jennifer said, a while back, that she was a comedienne. Nope.