After all the RHONJ drama tonight, I have to move straight on to the RHOD recap! It’s LeeAnne’s wedding day! So, onward and upward!
We are going to start right away with the wedding. It is go time and LeeAnne’s mom is MIA. LeeAnne is crying. It’s a hot mess already. LeeAnne’s mom makes it to the front pew in the nick of time.
Why am I crying? The wedding is beautiful and I am so happy for LeeAnne in this moment. She looks like a princess and Rich is grinning from ear to ear at the other end of the aisle. I didn’t expect to be so emotional about this wedding. Everything about it is just perfect. I can’t see to type. Ha! Then there was a moment of levity that we all needed. When Rich said the first “I do” LeeAnne turned to the packed pews and let out a dramatic sigh of relief. The the officiant said,”I hate to tell you LeeAnne, but there going to be several more opportunities.” The full house breaks out in laughter.
The Land Of Misfit Toys
The we get to the vows. Rich’s are so perfect and he is crying as he reads them. He says they both come from The Land of Misfit Toys but they have both managed to fix each other up. And now my eyes are all blurry again. Then he gets more laughs from the crowd. He says he will never be bored with LeeAnne because it is going to be like being married to five women at once.
LeeAnne says when she was a child she never felt loved, wanted or accepted. But, when she met Rich he made her feel all of those things. There is not a dry eye in the house. Then more laughter as the officiant starts some repeat after me stuff with “Will you always see your innocence in my eyes.” Rich is like, eyes… um eye! That was the BEST WEDDING EVER!
Only LeeAnne Locken, excuse me LeeAnne Emberlin would schedule a five hour break between the ceremony and the reception to “go schmoop her husband.” I ain’t mad about it. He is hot. But Kameron is not amused. Now she has to get a whole nuther look for the reception.
LeeAnne insists on going through the Sonic drive-thru for foot long chili cheese dogs and corn dogs on the way to the hotel.
The reception is an amazing carnival themed event that somehow still looks REALLY expensive. I would try to explain it but I am at a loss for words. I love it though. Where the hell is LeeAnne’s sister and why is she not taking care of her aunt? LeeAnne’s mom being all alone and having trouble getting close enough to LeeAnne to take a photo is sad. She finally finds her niece and gives her a hug as she leaves early. LeeAnne dancers with the dancers covered in mirrors while Rich scopes out all the hot ladies at the party.
Why is everyone complaining about the lack of food? There is ginormous cake and even better giant charcuterie boards everywhere? And most of these bitches don’t eat anyway.
We Interrupt This Reception For An Episode Of Chopped!
Sadly, D’Andra is missing the wedding of the year. These two really need to make up. I think she should have gone. Instead, she is at home with her hot husband. So, it’s kind of win-win. These two both love to cook and often have cooking competitions. Tonight it’s seafood. Four shrimp, one soft shell crab, and a big halibut filet., these are their ingredients for the cook off.
D’Andra’s strategy seems to be to keep Jeremy busy fetching items for her so he doesn’t have time to complete his task. Jeremy lets D’Andra win. Always keep the sugar mama happen.
Baby Mama Drama
I didn’t even notice that Brandi was not at the wedding. Apparently she just layed around the house all day with Bruin. She goes out to dinner with her husband and the baby. Bruin literally destroyed the restaurant. He is throwing food all over the floor. Wiping it all over the table. I am sure the waiter spit in all of their food. You don’t just put a plate of Mexican food in front of a baby. You actually have to FEED the baby. Then she literally hands him an empty taco shell and says, “Do you want to play with that?”
The conversation is about adopting Bruin’s soon to be born sibling. I say no. They should let Bruin go to whoever adopts the other one.Why are they giving the baby lemonade? How did these people ever get to adopt a kid??? Finally, Brian takes the plate away to stop him from throwing. Brandi says, “He’s going to get mad at you!” This. That right there is her problem. She’s not parenting at all. She is trying to make friends. This is so annoying. Suddenly the baby has the plate back. Is that an editing error or did she really give him the plate back.? I can’t with this one. Bruin deliberately smacks Brandi in the face with all his might. Instead of Brandi saying NO! in a mean tone, she smiles and coos, “that’s not nice.”
Stephanie and Travis have a giant indoor hot tub inside the house with a TV on the wall. I would be a prune. Travis is going to Thailand and Vietnam to check on his father who is there working. He’s been MIA for a while. So Stephanie is inviting all the girls to Thailand. Kary is kind of a bitch to her husband who, by the way, pays for everything including her “jewelry business.”
So weird there were two Brandi scenes in the previews that were not on the show. Also a dinner between Mama Dee and D’Andra. Maybe that was last week?
Next week, it’s a trip to Medieval Times. I once got a grant to take my entire class there as a tie in to the Magic Treehouse books we were reading. I invited my SPED teacher friend and her students as well because I had extra room. My jackass principal refused to approve the trip. Did I mention my students are all low income and would never have had the opportunity to go? Sorry. Asshole principals pop into my mind from time to time and still make me angry. Also next week is Travis’ huge 50th birthday party.