Last week I said I might actually do a RHOC recap this episode rather than put up a discussion post. To be honest, the discussion posts generally perform about as well as recap with less work. So I was going to be lazy and tap out tonight. Banjo is unhappy with me because we are sleeping at the most random times. Forget having a weird schedule we have no schedule. Banjo likes a routine. Currently we have none. Today he met the cute little girl next door and the dog is twink. Banjo, my gay dog is in heaven with the new neighbors. So I went to pull a photo or two to put up a discussion thread. And THERE. IS. NO. WAY. I AM MISSING VICKI’S BIRTHDAY.
So I am all in. Also, I pulled way too many photos because this looks EPIC. I’m a little tipsy so perhaps I am not seeing things clearly. Or typing well. But I have high expectations for this episode based on the recaps.
We begin with plans for the OG of the OC’s birthday party. I love Vicki. And, I don’t give a shit about the Brooks fake cancer shit. I just love her. If Banjo um going away coincides with a Vicki trip I am all the way in. Sorry not sorry. Vicki is the real OG. Anyway, Tamra and Vicki are on the way to get costumes to celebrate Queen Victoria’s birthday. On the way they mention that Gina is back dabbling in the Matt pond. Oh honey. Just say no. But I get it. Been there and done that more times than I care to acknowledge.
I can’t with Braunwyn’s rich white people problems. Oh I meant to tell you guys this but I got lazy. Apparently the “angry black man” from last week’s episode days that Braunwyn’s dad called him the N word and they edited it out. I believe him. #WhitePrivilege
Anyway, the tres amigas plus Gina go to get costumes. Gina admits that she and Matt kind of hooked up. Shannon tries to make Gina’s divorce about hers. They are kinda similar though.
Gina’s daughter has a bit of a developmental disorder. Basically she has what is called Sensory Processing Disorder. This just means that multiple stimuli confuse her and freak her out. She can possibly outgrow it as her brain continues to develop. Still, I child with special needs is a lot to add to Gina’s plate. Gina seems to think getting back with Matt will help. Le sigh.
The Obligatory Kelly Scene
I really wish she would leave her daughter off the show. I like her. And her daughter. And I get Jolie wants to act but this is not the best route to take in my opinion. Braunwyn calls Kelly to tell her about the problems below. She is apparently the bone carrier of RHOC.
Kelly and her fake boyfriend for the show (and her procedures) will break up soon.
Gina is the first to arrive at the birthday tea party for Queen Victoria. Already this is the best birthday party Vicki has ever had! Gina is some sort of Mad Hatter. I am here for it. Emily just wore a hat. Come on Ems… bring it! Braunwyn didn’t get the memo either. This does not bode well for either of them. I need Emily to be included. WTF, Gina? Braunwyn is annoying. She does drink and apparently she can’t drink milk either.
Full stop. Emily sleep with Matt. Le sigh.
I know you guys are going to hate on me but I am loving Queen Victoria arriving at her birthday party in a horse drawn carriage! Hate on haters. This is epic. The tres amigas arrive together in very “you can’t sit with us” fashion and I am here for it. The peons are summoned to greet the queen. You literally can’t make this shit up! This is AMAZING (um sorry IJC stay off the crack!)
Blah, blah blah why are we talking about Kelly? She is not even there. Apparently Kelly got into a bar fight. I naively believed Kelly would be kicked off the show before she started. Kelly broke up with her “boyfriend” she brought on the show for free face work. Braunwyn defends Kelly. Oh way to pick the WRONG PONY season one.
Kelly Loses Her Allies
Tamra and Shannon are in the bathroom when Tamra tells Shannon that Kelly said she wasn’t coming to Vicki’s birthday party because she would rather celebrate her death. That’s fucked up and you are liar who said you would quit if Vicki came back. Well the OG of the OC is back bitch. So quit. Tamra and Shannon are all team Kelly. Barf.
OMG Braunwyn is such a cunt. Gina takes a fake call about her kid only so production can tell Braunwyn to throw down the public school card? The public schools in the OC are excellent bitch! I HATE Braunwyn. I love that Gina calls her out. Sensory Processing Disorder happens with kids it private schools too you cuntsatchel. Way to be insensitive. Team Gina. It’s not about you, Braunwyn.
WE ARE ALL AT OUR BRAUWYN MAXIMUM CAPACITY, GINA.
Let Them Eat Cake!
Banjo seems to know this a night for The Voice and we are supposed to be signing together. He i NOT happy with this recap.
I wish Gina would not explain herself to Braunwyn. Gina has A LOT going on. Just shut up, Braunwyn. Everyone takes their wigs off. Let them eat cake. The tres amigas talk about Kelly saying she wants to go to Vicki’s funeral.
Vicki talks about Kelly pushing he mother down the stairs. Oh yes she went there and that apparently happened.
See you all next week.