Because my mind is shot, I can never remember what I recap each night. So every Monday night I am all… YAY! tonight is Below Deck Recap night! Then I remember that when last we watched, one of the guests was dying of alcohol poisoning on the beach. That makes it kind of hard to drink while watching. IJS.
We pick back up with Brandy in a very serious medical crisis. It’s not at all funny. You can die from alcohol poisoning. That mixed with the heat and the fact that everyone seems to have decided not to wear sunscreen makes things a bit dire. Brandy may be a drunk, but the rest of the guest don’t even approach her. They are determined “not to let this impact their time.” Not one of them checks on her. No one escorts her back to the boat. No one cares.
I took a still shot of Brandy that was so frightening, I chose not to use it. I’m not sure if they are all narcissists or just stupid. I feel like they are both. They are stupid narcissists. It’s actually quite disturbing to watch. If I saw a stranger in that condition, I would move to provide assistance. Captain Lee called in a medic and sits with her on her bed to wait.
Simone thinks she is back in the laundry because of Kevin. She is back in the laundry because she is dumb as a box of rocks. It’s easier for Kate just to send her down to iron. Meanwhile, Courtney is playing the role of female nurse at the male gynecologist visit. She’s there to bear witness that Captain Lee is doing nothing untoward and is simply trying to make sure that Brittany doesn’t die on his watch. So Simone is tasked with taking care of the guests. This should go well.
Tanner Makes Awkard Moves on Kate
This leaves Tanner and Kate behind to break down the beach set up. This is the opening that Tanner has been hoping for. He asks Kate if she wants to split a bottle of wine after the narcissists GTFO the boat. She says no. She wants her own bottle. But there is some sort of not exactly an agreement to have some wine later. Tanner says that Kate is life your friends aunt. What a great compliment!
I presume the medic came with a couple of banana bags and something salty and got Brandy to a point where she could continue to flirt with Chef Kevin. She missed lunch so she is excited for dinner. I’m pretty sure she hasn’t eaten in 24 hrs.
Tie That Hair Up!
Meanwhile, Abbi doesn’t get that her hair needs to be up. I am not sure if this is storyline or real because it is utterly ridiculous to think she would want all that hair down in this heat. Also she doesn’t need “an elastic” to put up long curly hair that long. She doesn’t need one for a top knot.
Wait the medic is just now arriving? She’s been stumbling around on her own to flirt with Kevin? I thought Courtney was supposed to stay on her? Is this editing out of order? The local medic tells her to just drink a lot of juice. Seriously?
Meanwhile, Brian broke the davit. That’s the crane like thing that helps them bring in things like the super heavy water slide among other things. Captain Lee is not going to like this. Ashton is also pissed. This is not a small problem. Brian told the Captain about his mistake before the bosun.
Kate has ratted out Chef Kevin to Captain Lee. I really think that other than the scripted seafood extravaganza nonsense, Kevin a has been just fine. If you have ever worked in a restaurant you know the chefs are assholes and you just have to suck it up. But when the chief stew is BFFs with the Captain… you really need to watch your step. Like for example when the Captain calls you to the bridge, you don’t just state your case and walk off. You wait to be dismissed. Not a wise decision Chef Kevin. I typed all of that before Captain Lee reacted. THIS IS BAD FOR KEVIN. Like REALLY BAD.
Don’t Piss Off Captain Lee!
It’s dinner time and Captain Lee is there. This is Kevin’s chance to redeem himself. Things start well with the “Thai street shrimp.” Then Kevin eats one of the second course dishes. This cannot be real. He literally ate the Captain’s portion. I am already predicting this is storyline so we have to see asshole Ben again. Apparently, the Bravo suits love him. Le sigh. It’s definitely storyline. There is a whole fake scene with Captain Lee and Kate about him not getting fed. /eyeroll. Keving probably knew going in he had X number of episodes. I hate that I know too much about how production works.
Brandy finally rallies at 12:30 am asking for mimosas. Courtney wakes up Kate to ask what to do. This is not storyline. They decide not to put champagne in the mimosas. Good call. But Brandy is on the phone to….someone.
The next morning, Kevin goes to try to save his ass with Captain Lee. That ship has sailed. Kevin doesn’t realize how fucked he is. Then one of the guests leaves Kevin her panties and some pearls in a little bag? Did I hear that right? I’ve had a long day. Am I hallucinating here? There were panties involved too. WTF with these guests? I can’t wait to offshore them and I am not even on the boat. The tip was good, $1800 US for THREE DAYS. That’s insane to me.
On shore leave, Kevin is getting wasted because Captain Lee is not happy with him. Actually, everyone is getting wasted but Kevin is just not that into it. Kate doesn’t like drunk Tanner. Ashton tries and fails to get with Courtney. She is not falling for the accent. True confession…I always fall for the accent. She is smarter than I was at her age. Everyone stumbles back to the boat completely wasted. Abbi was the only one smart enough to eat before going to bed. #TeamAbbi Then the next morning, she has a bit of the hair of the dog or review it might be water. The problem is Captain Lee already has her marked as the next Rocky. I LOVED ROCKY. Abbi is dying.
Kevin is still not getting how he pissed Captain Lee off and not dealing with it well so he goes for a run. Clearly, Abbi and Chef Kevin are shortimers. 🙁 I love them both.