It’s time for an interview with Teresa and Joe Giudice, aka Andy Cohen’s favorite Felons By Bravo on this very special episode of WWHL. Next Sunday, the RHOA start their 12th season. TWELVE SEASONS! When will this all end?
Andy Cohen starts out trying to channel his buddy Anderson Cooper in some sort of a fake news room. As if. When Joe comes on he says hi to Teresa and she immediately said, “I mean who dressed you, I don’t get it?” Joe says he picked it. Teresa said, “oh.” Already we see that Teresa and Joe Giudice are not in a good place.It’s interesting that both Joe and Teresa wore orange to their first appearance on WWHL after being released.
Joe Giudice Walks Us Through The Flight To Italy
Joe says he is living with his grandmother in Italy. He describes it as “it’s small but it’s fine.” He says Italy is very different from the US. Joe looks great though. When Andy asks if Joe is still “juicy” we get another snappish exchange. Teresa points out that Joe’s physique changed over the years. When she said he was juicy she was referring to his muscles. Then he got “fluffy.” Joe says he was never “fluffy” he was always hard. Production puts up a clip of fat Joe on WWHL.
Joe goes through his actual flight to Italy. He claims he refused to wear handcuffs. He was escorted all the way to Italy buy armed agents. Joe says they all took selfies with him and that when they parted ways, he told them places in Italy to go have fun. The ICE agents apparently got a couple of free days in Italy. Teresa was not around for any of that. Teresa says that the entire family decided that Joe needed to wait out the judges ruling in Italy. He was not faring well in the deportation facility. This seems like a no brainer to me.
Joe Only Refers To Teresa As “My Wife”
Joe is still angry about the sentence. Especially Teresa having to do time. He says that the original plea deal was no time for Teresa. He says the Attorney General pushed the prosecutor to give Teresa her own sentence. Teresa deserved her sentence. She committed crimes on her own that Joe was not charged with. As Joe talks about the situation with Teresa he constantly calls her “my wife.” Teresa seems to be noticing the language he is using as well. Joe says it is all his fault.
Joe says that he is sad that he is not with his wife and family. It was hard for him to leave his life behind and go to Italy. Apparently he got his high school diploma in prison. He also took some computer courses. Joe was working on a business with a partner for what sounds like a website where players pick fantasy sports teams for professional sports. He says it did not have a gambling element.
Joe says in the ICE facility he was locked in a small room with seven other people and it was horrible. He is proud that he was never put in the SHU (special housing unit) for prisoners that need to be separated from others while he was in prison. But at the ICE facility, he was put in the SHU for opening a window (there were bars so it’s not like he could escape) to let air in. He was in the SHU for a week for that.
Really, Again With The Donald Trump Crap?
Then, Andy Cohen goes off on his ridiculous premise that Teresa and Joe Giudice know Donald Trump. Please. Teresa was on Celebrity Apprentice. That doesn’t make them best friends. Teresa’s eye makeup is hideous. There is the blob of white stuff in the corner of her left eye that is driving me insane. Teresa says she would like him to pardon her. Teresa and Joe Giudice both really love Trump.
When Andy points out that Teresa can’t vote, she asks her creepy lawyer who is clearly two feet away if she is allowed to vote. What does she care? She has never voted in her life. The creepy attorney has not left Teresa’s side in almost FIVE YEARS. Does he have other clients?
Andy tells Joe that on the upcoming season of RHONJ, there is a scene where Joe is on the phone with Teresa while he is in the deportation facility. In the call he blames Teresa for not getting him a US passport. Joe says he doesn’t blame Teresa. When he was in the ICE facility, he was very angry and in a bad place and was blaming everyone out of frustration.
Teresa Giudice Says She And Her Girls Have Changed
Bravo cameras will be filming Teresa and the girls going to Italy next week. Teresa says the girls have a few days off for “teacher convention.” Actually, it’s teacher conferences. She would probably know that if she had ever been to one. Teresa admits she is nervous to see Joe. She hasn’t seen him in almost four years. She says she has changed a lot. Teresa says she like the person she is now. She is more independent.
Andy rolls footage of the show when Joe was going off to prison. Teresa sobs through the whole thing. Like full on crying. But the white blob is still plastered on. Teresa says the girls have all had to become more independent. Probably because she is always off on some trip with her boy toy. She doesn’t mention that part. Andy gets to that next.
Teresa Still Blames Joe Giudice For Her Prison Sentence
When they roll a clip of the girls and Teresa over the years that Joe was locked up. Joe cries through the whole thing. Joe is upset that he missed his daughter’s graduation and move to college. Again, he says no names and stresses “my daughter.” Joe says they talk all the time. Joe says when Teresa was in prison it was really hard. He was drinking a lot. He could not stand going to visit her. Joe would lose it because she didn’t deserve to be in prison.
Andy asks Teresa if she blames him for her time away. She says there is no one else to blame, so yes, she does blame him. It never occurs to this one to take responsibility for her own part in the situation. Teresa says she got very angry after her mom died. She lost almost a year’s worth of time with her mother.
At the thirty minute mark, My DVR recording ended. I’m going to have to watch the second half at 10:30 pm on the rerun. I’ll be back….
Part Two Of Teresa and Joe Giudice Unlocked
I’m back! Teresa says that Joe Giudice is not the jealous type. Andy asks if Teresa and Joe have talked about their future together. There is a weird edit as if they cut out the answer. Perhaps for drama on the show with the Italy footage? Joe says if they stay together, they stay together. If they don’t they don’t. That’s a conversation they need to have. I think Joe wants to stay with Teresa but she has clearly moved on. Will the trip to Italy rekindle their relationship?
Andy asks Joe how he is feeling about her photos with the boytoy. Teresa says she is just friends with the guy. They were holding hands because he was helping her to her car because her feet were hurting. She is the worst liar in the world. They have both cheated while the other was doing time. If I were Joe, I’d be more worried about the creepy lawyer guy. Andy asks if this was the guy she met who was with her on the beach in Miami. She said yes. And that if she was trying to hide, she would not be out in public with him.
About That BoyToy…
The fact that Teresa was on the beach with her boytoy was news to Joe Giudice. Andy made public statements on WWHL saying that he hoped Teresa was “getting it” from the kid. Joe seems irritated and then Teresa said that she goes everywhere with the guy…and his friends. Teresa said that Joe was photographed with women while she was prison. Joe says “that’s what made it okay for you.” Joe says he was faithful to Teresa. He doesn’t not think that Teresa was faithful to him.
Joe is not the only one who feels this way. It seems all of her cast mates seem to know she was unfaithful as well. Teresa doesn’t feel like Joe was faithful to her. She is right. They are both liars and cheaters. Teresa is stammering around about nothing despite not having been asked a question. She says she loves Joe “as a person.” They are two different people now. She is clearly not planning to stay married. I do think Teresa really is afraid to be with him now. She’s afraid she is going to have feeling for him again.
I Felt Nothing
Teresa says that she felt nothing when she went to visit Joe in prison. I wonder if we could get Teresa to fill out a Psychopathy Scale. Andy could just ask her the questions on a reunion. She wouldn’t know what they were. Teresa says she never wanted to kiss him in prison because she just didn’t like the whole environment. Teresa acts like she visited regularly. She did not. Teresa even said at some point that she doesn’t visit because it’s gross. After her mom died, she was really angry and didn’t visit.
Suddenly, Teresa is saying she is happy that Joe is out. She starts crying. I think she has had a lot of tequila. Andy says “those don’t seem like happy tears.” Her response was confusion. Then she tries to convince Andy she is happy. She says that the last seven months of Joe being in ICE custody was horrible because Joe was just so nasty on the phone. So basically, she’s glad it is over FOR HER.
Joe Giudice Give Teresa Dating Tips
Andy asks if the girls know that Teresa might be divorcing Joe. Teresa says that they do know. She thinks they get it, but hope it doesn’t happen. Teresa says she can’t see a long distance marriage working. She doesn’t seem to even consider moving to Italy. Teresa says that Joe would have someone in Italy and have her in the US and she doesn’t want to live that life. Joe says if he wanted to get with someone in Italy he could have already done that. He probably already has.
Andy asks Joe if he is still in love with Teresa. He says yes. I believe that. Andy says that the way Teresa is speaking about the relationship as if it is already over. She says that is she feels now. She says Gia told her when she goes to Italy to seem him those feelings will come back. Joe says he doesn’t want Teresa and the kids to move to Italy with him. Their lives are in Italy. I disagree. Anytime kids have an opportunity to live in another country they should take it.
Andy asks an interesting question. If they divorce will Teresa have to sell the house?It sounds like she will. Joe says the next guy needs to have a lot of money. She needs to date men with money not these broke little kids.
Let Me Tell You Something!
Andy plays the clip of Caroline Manzo predicting that Joe Giudice would go to jail and that Teresa would divorce him and write a book. All of that seems to be happening now. The video enrages Teresa. Teresa says that Caroline is just so sad. She has led that “crooked life.” ROFLMAO. Teresa says she has never led “that crooked life.” Sweetie, you been to federal prison and so has your husband. Caroline has never been arrested for anything. You can’t hold Caroline accountable for a few skeletons on her family tree. Do you want your daughter to accused of living “that crooked life” because you did?
Teresa thinks Caroline Manzo ratted her out to the Feds. Really? Does she still not understand that this all began with a bankruptcy where they failed to disclose all of their assets? How the hell is Caroline Manzo responsible for your lies? Joe says he knows who went to the feds and it wasn’t Caroline.
Regrets? Joe’s Had A Few…
Andy asks them if they regret doing the show. Teresa of course does not. Joe wishes he never would have done the damn show. He had a great life before the show. Then Joe says that the Giudices coming on the show was the best thing to happen to Andy. No one even knew what “this housewives thing” was until they came on. Andy says that there was Orange County and New York before Jersey. And the best thing that ever happened to him was the birth of his son. Oh my, Andy is a bit heated with his favorite felon. Joe responds “And the birth of the New Jersey housewives and having us in your life.
Teresa ends the show by completely botching a Sophia Loren quote. “If you haven’t cried, your eyes can’t be beautiful.” Teresa says she has the most beautifulest eyes. Le sigh.
RHONJ Premieres November 6th. Wait, that is the same night as Atlanta? That’s going to be a long night of recapping. Can’t we spread this out? Check out the trailer below.