I’m scrambling to get prepared for this Below Deck recap because I am FINALLY all the way in on the final season of The Affair. The last episode was a fantastic 90 minutes but I had only allotted 60 minutes of my time. But I am good to go now and this week’s episode and it looks like a hot mess express. Let’s get to it.
And then it is time for Banjo’s favorite show, The Voice. He loves when I sing badly to him. Shortly after I got him three vets told me I should put him down when he randomly lost use of his back legs. I’d lay on there floor and sing to him (and cry) so apparently, he doesn’t care that I HAVE NO SINGING ABILITY AT ALL. lol. Though this one time while on a work trip…I scored a hot guy with my Karaoke. Um, on to the show! 🙂
I Love Penis Sauce
These people are boarding drunk a skunks. Why not hold off until the all you can drink booze you are paying a gazillion dollars for? The drunk woman, Brandy, has fallen into the couch and can’t get up. but she wants the whole crew to know she pays for everything. I doubt that.
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Chef Kevin seems to hate all the stews. Abbi, the token female deckhand is already getting the bad edit. Chef is upping the spices because drunks can’t taste anything. Hmm… is that why nothing tastes good anymore? I’m asking for a friend.
Is That A Joystick?
The drunk blonde and the female primary (I think) wander up the the bridge to discuss Captain Lee’s joystick (part of the navigation system) while fondling his ass. This annoys me. I’m sure this is not Mary Anne’s favorite episode. The entire universe knows that Captain Lee is happily married. Who on earth would think of grabbing his ass? And why doesn’t he put a stop to it? If a man was doing this to Kate, Captain Lee would probably throw him overboard.
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Then she kisses him on the cheek and tells him he must join them for dinner. Megan kisses him again after Kate tries to rescue him. Kate says she is worried the next time she goes to the bridge, Meagan the molester is going to be giving Captain Lee a blowjob. I get thinking Captain Lee is great. But, NO ONE NEEDS TO FONDLE CAPTAIN LEE. Is this a rich people thing? The guests all love the overly salty and spiced food.
Leave Abbi Alone!
Now that I have defended Captain Lee’s honor, I’m pissed with him in the very next scene. Why does the female deckhand always have to be the one fucking things up. Apparently, Abbi has done something to her microphone (production driven probably) that can cause the world to end. Almost every season the deck theme is “women can’t be deckhands.” Fuck that. Start hiring women with experience! At least Captain Lee is nice when he talks to Abbi. Much ado was made about Abbi tying her hair back for her own safety.
Is Chef Kevin The Sheree Whitfield Of Chefs?
Is not purchasing seafood for guests who want a seafood extravaganza like a fashion show with no fashions? Apparently, Simone is a mathematician with goals of learning how to iron. One of Chef Kevin’s great great great(?) grandfathers was a chef on the Titanic. It did not end well. Foreshadowing?
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Shocker, the women were so busy trying to fuck the deckhands, they failed to catch any fish. Someone caught a gnarly ell that they released. Chef Kevin is fucked now. The female guests insisted Captain Lee join them for TWO dinners. This will not end well. What is the white stew with a full blown case of white privilege’s name? She needs to go overboard. Soon. Also Kate and Hannah have had a falling out over table decor. She has no room to talk on the subject. IJS.
Drunk Brandy has passed out. Mamas, don’t name your babies after alcohol beverages. Oddly, the guests and the crew loved dinner. Captain Lee on the other hand seems disgruntled.
What Is Up Courtney’s Ass?
I am going with corn cob. What say you. Ashton tries to bond (get into her pants) with her and she is just full of no. She hates the job, she’s not going to fuck anyone. She is just way to good for this boat. Meanwhile, Kate is DTF Tanner. Drunks and crew alike sack out for the night.
Thailand is GORGEOUS.
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Simone is inept. Kevin is not amused. Meanwhile, Brandy is drinking everyone’s mimosa. I call party foul. Simone is pissed. I’m Team Kevin. I should be wearing my Team Kevin t-shirt, and yes I actually have one for another reason. Kevin apologizes to Simone privately. It’s Kate’s fuck up not Simone’s. That is true. The stews are bad this season and Kate is responsible. So of course Kate goes to whine and tattle to Captain Lee. Kevin does not seem to know that Kate and Captain Lee are BFFs. So basically, he’s fucked because Kate had to get up and do service.
In the dramatic ending, Brandy’s alcohol poisoning gets the best of her. She fall out during a beach lunch. Kelly, the ass grabber fell out on the boat before they even got there. I don’t think rich people get embarrassed by these things. Brandy seems to be having some sort of seizure. She needs to go to the hospital.
Next week, Brian fucks up majorly. And Captain Lee is not happy with dinner. The crew gets fucked up on shore leave.
I love how Kate stands there watching the two guys struggle with the boat being beached..drooling and saying wow that was the sexiest thing ever! BUT it did suck to hear Aston say what would I have done if I was stuck with Abbi.
This charter the guests are like money can’t buy you class. Sorry I’ve been on a binge watching all the old seasons of RHONY, so it’s all I’m thinking about these days.
So far I’m not feeling below deck, I guess until they all start screwing each other and or Kate goes into full blown mega bitch zone, it’s just been a boring hot mess.. emphasis on hot.
They all start screwing each other. #SpoilerAlert
That Brandy mess should never have been allowed on the tender especially if you had to pick her drunken ass up off the deck. She is a serious liability. Well-mannered people would be horrified if they behaved like that but vulgar, gauche and clueless would not. Remember, y’all, money can’t buy you class ;).
I have no sting idea why this posted here. It was posted as a stand-alone comment.
TT
Huge fan of the affair too
Brandy was a hot ass mess. Liquor and Thai heat (and humidity) don’t mix well. I love to drink and couldn’t do it in Thailand. I would tap out after two drinks.
I’m thinking the same thing about Brandy. The combination of binge-drinking, other substances(?) and 96 degree heat, PLUS high humidity probably dehydrated her & gave her heat stroke. It’s a good thing Tanner is a lifeguard and was looking out for her, because Brandy’s “friends” didn’t seem the slightest bit concerned. Then again, nobody was force-feeding her booze, so …???♀️
Liquor and benzos don’t mix although I’m sure the heat didn’t help. This is what happens when you alcohol and drugs like Klonopin, Valium, Xanax, etc. It’s a deadly combo because they amplify the negative effect of each other.
I’ve been trying to figure out what else she is on besides alcohol. You just listed all of my guesses. Why even go on the yacht? She may as well be at home. WHY did they bring her — that’s gotta be a good story.
She Is probably paying for the trip.
Gonna be a season where we agree to disagree on Kevin – Brandi drank all the mimosas, and Simone had to keep making juice. The guests weren’t ready to sit down for breakfast yet – yes, she is still learning but he didn’t have to be a douche about it. When the one cute deckhand stepped in and said he could help, Kevin should have said YES and not woke Kate up for something like that. Deal, then approach Kate like a co-worker later. He WASN’T staying in his lane at ALL.
It is more time-consuming when everyone orders separately and not as a table. Especially when orange juice is squeezed for each drink. And DOUBLE ESPECIALLY when someone keeps grabbing everyone else’s before they can drink it. Platters are more work for the servers and less for the kitchen. Kevin is an ass. The “forgotten” seafood order has got to be production. There is no way they would have caught shrimp. And did he LIE about the shrimp? Perhaps I misunderstood. Although I do think TOWERS of seafood is gauche and wasteful, especially on a boat.
I agree, I don’t like the towers of stuff, but that was still no extravaganza. Canned crab. CANNED CRAB. I mean, I just can’t. Although the real secret to my clam chowder is canned clams (because you get the juice to put in the chowder as well… I use heavy cream instead of half and half or whole milk to compensate). But if it is a seafood chowder… everything else is either fresh, or was flash frozen fresh (like the shrimp… keeps it fresher than if they actually caught it and shipped it without freezing).
The shrimp was CLEARLY frozen. The mimosas didn’t need to have half as much juice! Normally I put the fizzy stuff in nearly to time he top and then basically top with an inch of orange juice! She was doing the opposite ! Agree though she was working, there was no emergency, and clef needs to get his panties out of a twist.
And honestly, if you have someone drunk as fuck by 10 am demanding mimosas…. you do 1 part champagne (or prosecco, my preference) 1 part club soda, and 2 parts orange.
It’s simply common sense to know to pull one’s hair back/put it up when working in a position such as this. Literally every season a male with long hair has had to be reminded of this common sensical fact; why should it be any different for a female? … This season’s interior, as well as lackadaisical Abbi are abysmal, and Kate has obviously lost her ‘passion’ for the actual job, if she ever had it. I am 100% team Kevin – although a smartass, he at least gives a shit about providing quality product & service to paying customers, who, btw, are paying dearly for these three day excursions. This season is going to be very frustrating considering the already half-assed & no give a shit attitudes being shamelessly displayed by Abbi & the stews, including Kate.
Kevin forgot to get seafood. How does that even happen when they specifically requested a seafood extravaganza? Kevin should concentrate on his own job and quit trying to tell Kate how to do hers. And he should start plating the food.
CANNED CRAB. Not one prawn or squid Thai dish. In Thailand. He’s more concerned about going for Kate and production than their experience.
On the breakfast dustup, there was plenty of blame to share between Kevin and Simone, but Kate didn’t deserve any blame. The guests had told her they wanted to eat breakfast between 10 and 11–but there was Kevin plating the food at 8 am, way earlier than necessary. I get that he wanted the food to go out when it was hot, but he shouldn’t have plated it so early.
And Simone was as slow making mimosas as I would have been–but it’s not my job to make mimosas smoothly and quickly. She is so slow in everything she was doing. Also, after Brandy hijacked the first mimosa from someone else, Simone should have started making a mimosa for Brandy that was heavy on the juice and light on the champs and served Brandy that one at the same time she gave the other guest her proper mimosa. Simone having the attitude that there was no need to speed up to serve the guests is not five-star service. It was pathetic the guest had to come to the galley to request her drink *again.*
But there was no reason for Kate to have been woken up earlier than her allotted time.
I was surprised Capt Lee didn’t do anything to dissuade the handsy guests. I get he didn’t want to be rude, but he could have stepped away a bit.
Everyone looks so miserably hot in Thailand to me. The scenery is beautiful, but I would hate being sweaty and hot all the time.
Kate should have told Kevin that the guests wanted to eat later. That is on her for not doing it. Kevin was doing what he does every other morning during charter. Making breakfast at the regular time. It isn’t his fault Kate didn’t tell him.
Kate told him what time they wanted breakfast the night before. Not her fault if Kevin can’t follow instructions.
I think Capt. Lee was going along to protect the tip for the crew. ? Taking one for his crew … I LOVE Capt. Lee more each season. Kevin was a DICK to disturb Kate. He doesn’t know how large she could have been up working.
Thailand was a terrible choice for this season. IDK why in the world they chose it. From the first minute of the season, everyone was suffering from the heat.
Watching these women was like being the only sober person at a party where everyone is drinking like mad. Nothing is funny or interesting.
Hate Kevin. He’s an ass. His seafood dinner was a major failure as far as being an extravaganza. Canned crab meat? smdh. Why couldn’t he have provisions brought over by boat? They’ve done that in the past. I guess it was production because they was nothing interesting happening.
Captain Lee is the best. He was absolutely right about Abbi’s hair. From day one she should have been told to tie it up — a true hazard around machinery and moving ropes etc. Same goes for the stew with the long hair — keep it out of my bed linens and food. Kate always puts her hair up.
Sigh. I hope this season gets better. So far – bleh.
You said what I’ve been thinking. Only better than I could have.
Abby’s hair is dangerous around machinery. She is ridiculous. She put her hair up for a few hours — and it looked stupid — instead of a braid or neat style, then went right back to wearing it down. Maybe she didn’t know it came from the captain. When I worked cocktail shifts and food shifts, it was sexy, strappy dresses and hair down for cocktailing. For serving food, dresses with sleeves, even a small cap sleeve, and hair back or up. It’s professionalism over cute. Professional but trying to look cute too. It’s about THE TIPS!
Thailand is gorgeous to be sure but I had no clue how hot and humid it is. I’d need zero alcohol to pass out from heat stroke.
Dislike handsy guests. Leave Captain Lee alone!!
I went to Thailand last January and that was the “winter season” (low humidity). It still felt like being in a sauna.
Here we go again, the I hate Kate scenario. No wonder she walked!!!
Why are they in Thailand in the hot season in the first place? Scandinavia was booked? Dum-da-dum dum. That drunk lady never should have been let on the boat in the first place. I bet Celebrity and Carnival would have left her on the dock toot sweet but that’s not BRAVOTV. The other guests do seem polite tho aside from the grab ass, please and thank yous. And the crew falling apart on the second charter is not a good sign. I bet Abbi is the first to leave, maybe voluntarily. I told you my story last week about a classmate getting her hair ripped out by ski lift ITS A SAFETY ISSUE!
The hair hazard must be real. Captain Sandy was yelling at Jack about his curly mop all the time, too. As for Kevin, I’m more on the Team Stew side. Seems like in past episodes when guests move plans forward by a couple of hours, the crew considers it a team issue that they all tackle. Not like Kevin, who’s all, “Why don’t we have two stews awake two-three hours before scheduled breakfast?”
Kevin clearly didn’t know that the breakfast time had been moved back. That is Kate’s fault. She also didn’t tell Simone about it either. Simone could have told Kevin that breakfast had been moved to a later time but she didn’t know either. Failure to communicate on Kate’s part
And you know this how?
I definitely do not like Kevin.
I was seriously concerned that woman was gonna die. Well, maybe not die, but that was NOT GOOD!
On Brandy’s Instagram (supposedly) it said she has severe anxiety. So, I’m assuming benzos mixed with serious amounts of alcohol. I thought the same ZZZ about her dying. The woman was never able to focus her eyes. Head rolling. Incoherent. Scary! I’m sure the crews (both Bravo & boat) get immune to drunks – but Brandy was a whole new league! And the lady passed out on the walkway BEFORE the beach picnic? Absolute insanity!
As for the crew, give me a hard working whiner or happy-lazy co-worker any day of the week! Simone & Courtney are keeping Kate happy – so the interior crew seems good. Courtney seems to be good at her job, even if she whines. A lazy co-worker turns ME into a whiner. She is at the least moving & working while she whines! That heat would make me super cranky – so I get the crew being a bit crankier than normal! And who would have thought that group would have been up so early – after drinking so so much? Kevin needs to tone it down – but it sounds like that doesn’t happen. I love this show!
I found Brandy’s IG and she talks about severe anxiety. She said no drugs. I wonder if being filmed added to her anxiety. I told her that CBD (without THC) works wonders on my anxiety. WHY did the other guests just ignore her? One would think they knew about it before and paid attention before it got so bad.
I’m laughing at the title .. I picture brandy “walking” around like Bernie from “Weekend at Bernie’s”
CBD does not work on that type of anxiety ~.
What a fun trip the crew was amazing and treated everyone wonderfully! It was fun to be with friends and Celebrate Helen’s Birthday! Brandi is doing great, she is in China with Helen currently.
Good to hear! We were all a bit concerned about Brandi!
As a recovering addict and alcoholic I hope she is getting help. Drinking to oblivion like that to escape your problems (anxiety, depression, etc) is just that, escaping. It does not solve anything. After watching this episode I’ve never been happier that I’m 2 years clean and sober. I watched this episode and just cringed knowing that Brandi was me 2 and a half years ago. I think I have more amends to make after watching this episode. I was very uncomfortable knowing I looked like that in Hawaii several years ago.
Terri, congratulations on your 2 years of sobriety! That’s no small feat, so you should feel really proud of how far you’ve come! I can’t drink at all now because of meds I’m taking (unless I feel like experiencing liver failure), and I never really enjoyed that much before because of my mom’s alcohol and Rx med misuse. I have a mostly grown kid who lives at home while he’s attending college, and we often watch Below Deck and HWs shows together. I’ve often thought that watching someone else’s messy behavior like this is the very best insurance policy against not wanting to drink or pop pills. Don’t worry about the past, though. We’ve ALL done things that we now regret or that we’d be terribly embarrassed about. The past is the past, and it doesn’t matter now. What we do today is what’s important. <3
Thanks, I was very worried also! She is a great girl!
The main guest told Kate to do breakfast at 10 or 11. The chef is a control freak and abusive. Fuck him. Something about the Jersey deckhand (the one who likes Kate) – he seems 45 already, like he would fit in great on rhonj. Or maybe it’s because the rhonj guys act like they’re 20, and not in a good way.
That was not Brandi passed out on the deck, it was a different lady.
Yes. When Ashton saw her, he said, “Kelly, is that you?”
Just a comment. You seem to hate all the Bravo shows and especially Kate. Why do you even watch them or post recaps?
Just so cunts like you have something to bitch about?