Y’all I might still be a little bit drunk on the Bourbon. I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DRINK LIQUOR. I have to go to the bank soon. So let’s just do a kind of drunk recap of RHOC while I try to sober the fuck up.
I want to be Emil. y when I grow up. She is literally the prettiest person on TV.
Oh look, it’s another train episode. It’s easy to make fun of this shit when you are still a little bit drunk. I hate all of these people. ALL OF THESE PEOPLE. Is that Megan?It’s Megan! I need a penis flask. Why don’t I have a penis flask?
I am not pulling photos. I am just going to use old ones.
Am I crazy or is this show funny as fuck?Also is that Lisa Rinna in the commercial? I feel like I might be on crack. AM I ON CRACK? Are you seeing this?
IS THIS LISA RINNA?
Also, I want to go on a train. But not in Romania. Did I ever tell you guys about that one time I went to Romania? The last leg of the trip was on a weird airlines. And then I took a train to… I forget where but you had no idea where you were getting off because the stations were not marked and there were GYPSIES who tried to steal your shit! I do weird things when left unsupervised. I need a ladysitter. Gypsies are real thing, y’all.
Anyway back to the show. Where did they go, like five miles from home? These rich people are annoying. They are going to new places to drink tequila? Tequila is BAD by the way. Stick with bourbon. A bourbon drunk is a happy drunk. I want Emily to be my best friend. Oh noe, Emily is going home.
Also, I have a hundred million emails in my in box and I DON’T CARE. Are we having fun yet?
Perhaps I should take a nap before I go to the bank. Maybe. Prolly. Also I think people are moving in next door. They paid like 250K! That’s an insane price in the ghetto!
Where did Tamra get that shirt. It needs to die. Everyone’s kid thinks they are a model. I was a model once. Fun fact. It’s really not fun. Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be models.
I don’t know what i happening on this show. Tamra wearing a really ugly shirt and they are at a weird restaurant. I might still be drunk. I am not liking Gina this episode. She is not a fun drunk. I’m a fun drunk. I think I need to get more bourbon when I go out. Or maybe I just need to take a nap. WTF is Emily talking about now? Why is Megan there? It’s weird. Did I do acid or something? This show is so weird. Tamra and Brown Wind are making out and Emily and Gina are ….arguing? Making up? What is going on here? Fuck it. I am just going to get more bourbon.
Brown wind is going to hook up with Tamra. This is crazypants. Is this real TV? Everyone is on the floor. Am I hallucinating?
I am so not going to the bank. Clearly I am still drunk. And so is Shannon. Let’s call a car. I need more Dollar Tree pants. You all need some Dollar Tree pants. I love my Dollar Tree pants.
Why don’t I live where Kelly lives? I need to live there. I do not like this boyfriend. So is this like a strange episode or is it just me? I’m going back to bed.