I’m just not doing well.
Banjo is fine. It’s all good I just don’t give a fuck at the moment.
I am so grateful for the emails of concern. I a blessed beyond measure that you care. I’m going to try really hard to receive that. I just need some time to pull it together. I am sorry for worrying you all. Nothing happened. I’m just sort of running out of gas. I am out of give a fucks. It’s no big deal. I’m just having a pity party for myself. Back soon.
Just know that you’re not alone, TT. We all love you, and we’re all here for you.
You’re not the only one who’s had a rough month, so don’t feel any shame about that. I often have to remind myself that, as I’m always beating myself up over something.
YOUR tough (as in busy) times are just ramping up. Remember to take care of YOURSELF. We would miss you if you had to go away for a rest! Hopefully, there will be GREAT THINGS for you to write about soon.
Thanks, Nanette. I don’t want to break any rules and/or trigger anyone here, so I’ll just say I worked 18 hours straight yesterday, and I’m now scrambling to wrap up work today after a very hectic week.
So I really feel for TT, as she has to chase down a whole lot of crazy crap throughout the week, just as those of us in other realms of journalism also must do.
Please take care of yourself
Yes. Please take care of yourself. <3
Thanks for checking in. Focus on yourself and Banjo.
We are here for you! Last week I had about 25,000 hot flashes — plus anxiety attacks, no will to get out of bed, and a kicky little impending sense of global doom as the cherry on the sundae. The only good thing about getting older is the experience to remember that it DOES pass, that the other side IS there. xoxoxo
These worked better for me than Rx, without side effects.
For hot flashes: flax seed oil. Use it in place of olive oil for vinegrette or slim it down. Not for cooking. Whole Foods 365 is the best value in Calif. (Yes, the “over-priced” WF!)
For anxiety, PTSD, (and certain pains): Broad spectrum CBD oil. If you like pot (I do NOT), use products with CBD & THC for pain. Sublingual drops best value, effectiveness.
Will try that. Thanks for the tips. Getting old sucks, but maybe it is just an empty nest thing,
Thank you for letting us know. We understand. September was astoundingly bad for so many people I know.
Yes! T.T.’s site lightens my mood after a very rough few months (my dad was diagnosed w/cancer Aug. 9th, died Sept. 5th, I was in the ICU for sepsis from a UTI, etc. – not to be Debbie Downer but sheesh.. it seems so many people are having some dark days lately?!).
Get some guilt-free R&R T.T.! ?
Oh, man. So sorry about your dad. And your sepsis, that is nothin to fuck with. I hope your healing is underway. This site helped me during some dark times. Escape/venting after watching escape TV! ❤️
We love you!
I’m not going anywhere. Take your time.
This. Your job is tough to walk away from for whatever reason. You do not owe us one, either. I know you’re just fine. So, go offline for as long as you need to. I haven’t quit this site for over 5 years- not going to start now!
Tamara, you’ve run out of steam. That’s easy to understand with all you’re managing.
Feel this. Go through it, reach out to those you feel can help & support you, if you need it. You’ll get past it. You always do. Sincerely wishing you all the best. Sending you so much good energy!
been worried about you also…take all the time you need…it has been a crappy couple of years for me also. take care of yourself.
Thank God you’re okay! Hang in there, girl. You are loved more than you know by so many. Sending you a virtual ((Hug)) ??
Maybe okay wasn’t the best word. Just glad you’re alive and thanks for letting us know. Nothing wrong with a good pity party. And so glad Banjo is alive too. See you on the other side of this. xo
We’ll all wait for you, TT! Take your time, we’re here for you! ❤❤
Take your time, we are here for you.
TT, was just about to email you to ask if you were ok, and thought i’d check the site once more. Glad i checked, sorry you are so down. We love you and Banjo. Give Banjo a hug from me. Hugs from me to you also!
ALSO WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS THE AFFAIR TRYING TO INTRODUCE TO PEOPLE ON THE FINAL FUCKING EPISODE?
I’m just trying to watch some TV here and even that is NOT FUCKING WORKING FOR ME,
Thank you. Who in the world gives a fuck about Joanie?! Sasha just makes zero sense to introduce. It’s the last season and not a minute too soon.They should just kill Helen and call it a day.
I mean kill them all. I just finished watching and WTF WAS THAT? I going back to sleep for a week or so.
I still wonder if the casting person selected Ruth Wilson and Maura Tierny, who both have those duckling lips, because Noah has a type — duck-lipped ladies. It gets in the way fo me watching.
Noah gets in everyone’s way Lol! They should kill him off first! I read somewhere that there was major fighting on set and that’s why Ruth Wilson quit & that’s why they killed her off. I don’t even think I’ll watch it to the very end because it’s gotten so bad. And for some reason that Fiona Apple song always creeps me out & I fast forward through it every time!
I thought it was just me. That song is annoying and creepy I hate it! lol
I liked the first season the best. Noah’s always been annoying. What kind of woman would go for him? And he’s even worse this season… but they all are. I used to like Helen, but they made her weird this year with the weird neighbor/baby mama.
When I watch Joanie, all I can think of is True Blood.
The Affair is stupid.. but for anyone who didn’t see it, S1 was the best!
Bring back Cole! I miss his cute face
I spent September staring into the abyss, this too shall pass. Take good care TT, we’ll be here when you get back.
Hi Tamara, I’m so happy to see you post! I’m thinking about you and hope things get better.
Hang in there TT. We all love you!
feel better soon kid
Hugs!
It’s a global energy thing, lots of bad mojo floating around attaching itself to whatever it can get a grip on. This too shall pass…
Hang tough with your little healer Banjo, you’ll be back on the upside of the wheel.
Thanks for the update.
Hope you feel better ASAP.
?????????
Please be kind to yourself ?
I am SO RELEIVED AND HAPPY YOU ARE SAFE. The ther stuff sucks, but it eventually will turn around.
I have had experience with TWO women alone … with the worst when they didn’t show up. One night at the last newspaper, I told the other weirdos on the copy desk that I had given my dog permission to eat me if I died and she was stuck inside and not to let the cops kill her over it (Marie Provost “that naughty little daischund!”) They all laughed, but I was serious. Two days later … over the wire … it had happened and the sister was fighting to keep the dog alive (as I would). Your cat lady nemeses should know … dogs won’t do it for several days, cats, almost immediately.
In today’s world, the only privacy is what we grant people out of RESPECT. It takes a few minutes to find what is needed to contact a person, her phone and address, her lawyer, her neighbors, or for cops to do welfare check. That is kind of scary AND an invasion of privacy. But after a time … concern wins out.
Another “woman-alone friend” and I had a keyword check-in — nothing else needed. Just one word to let the other one know we were OK.
♥️ ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ ♥️ ❤️ ♥️ ❤️ ♥️ ❤️ ♥️
Same! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Hope you start feeling better soon. Sometimes we need to unplug from the world for a bit.
Feel better soon, I get it as I have been there. This too shall pass! Biggest hugs for you and Banjo!!!
I was s quite concerned. Sometimes you need to just fetal position up and let it pass. WE are here, you are loved …this too will pass.
Totally get it. I had a wine induced pity party last night. Wasn’t the first and probably won’t be the last
Count me amount those concerned! Thank you for letting us know you’re safe.
Ride this hard wave, knowing you are loved, your purple pen is awesome, your tomato stories bring me summer life, and the exploits of Banjo and your neighborhood are truly enjoyed.
I hope she realizes how much love and concern is out here for her. It’s easy to feel alone when depression and exhaustion creeps in. Obviously we all come here for the understanding, wisdom and humour we find. She should be proud of what she created.
Awh take care TT we all need to go offline at times xxxx
I kept checking for new recaps or other posts. Glad to see this one.
I am glad you and Banjo are okay.
Life is hard y’all.
TT — Take care of yourself. Look how much you are loved here. xoxo
TT, you give so much. Take what you need/want. You know best. See you when we see you. We will be right here. It’s about you, not us. (Me, don’t want to speak for anyone else ?)
Xo hugs to Banjo
Forgive me for the coconut from years ago. In my own warped way it was meant as an affectionate poke in the ribs. As longtime readers know it’s likely I’ve been hit by four of five.
Take all the time you need to feel better.
Glad to see a post from you. Hope you feel better soon. Life can be so hard sometimes.
Hey, Tamara – take whatever time you need. However you need it! I wish you really could take a needed break, but I get the nature of your business.
Also, what draining material you wind up working with. 🙁 So many reality shows are just performative behaviour somewhere between reality and scripted, so much petty shit. That shit can get brutal, I can’t even imagine. I’m good to leave that shit behind and read your recaps on whatever– morning shows or whatever. xoxoxox God Bless.
Thanks for checking in. Don’t apologise for being drained! Take all the time in the world xxx
Hey everyone!! Just spoke with Tamara, all is well, she just needs some time to herself today.
While she appreciates all of the emails of care & concern, she will be concentrating on herself & Banjo at the moment; please do not take it personally when she does not respond.
Much love to all ❤️
Thanks Marietta! I hope she takes all the time she wants and doesn’t feel pressured to rush back. I don’t think anyone is going anywhere and it seems like everyone can relate. We all are just privileged to be a part of her world and this little community she has created for us. ❤️
Great news, thank you for the update. I find it so reassuring that everyone here has found connections in each other through Tamara and miss each other when we notice any changes or miss people. I started reading here because of Tamara and now would never leave because of not only her but all of you guys. What a community she’s created and SHE DID THAT! What a gift.
Kipper I couldn’t agree more. I’ve been here since the beginning & rarely post, but read every single word. I know each of you & follow your stories. I love this little community & feel fiercely protective of our group.
I agree with you, what a gift.
Agreed…came shortly after the start. Went back & read all the posts I missed & I was hooked! She has a talent. I laughed so hard for hours just thinking about this snarky lady who clearly DGAF about anything.
Exactly IJC. TT lives & breathes this site, she deserves to take a day or two for herself. She will be back soon, ready to ball bust some unsuspecting newbie ???
Marietta, For sure! It’s actually nice to see some old familiar names coming out of the woodwork, takes me back and glad to see so many still here even though not commenting. I stopped for a couple years or so (commenting not reading!), but now that my nest is empty I’ve been commenting up a storm. We’ve all been through a lot together. I’m just glad that she can now take time off without worrying. Dare I say this but, The feline exodus I think made everyone’s bonds stronger! Good to see you here and thanks again for the reassurance on TT’s behalf. Really great group that she has curated. And blessings to everyone here as well as TT!
Thank you for the update Marietta. I hope that Tamara is reading and knows that everyone who has posted is concerned only about HER and not about the missing recaps. And if anyone jumps ship because of that — good riddance. This is the only site of this genre that has a real community, which Kipper also noted. Because of Tamara, we have found a place to belong — where MOST people treat one another with respect, even when our opinions are different.
P.S. Your profile pic is downright fringhtenin’! And funny!
She knows Nanette, and it means so very much to her, truly.
Funny that you mention that pic, TT HATES it ??? she has been bitchin’ at me to change it for years.
Thanks Marietta. I am so glad she is taking care of herself. It was hard to see her struggling. And then that crazy really just needed to GTFO. I wish their was likes available so we could all SHOW Tamara our Love. A finger would be amazing for when we were told off!
Would love to be able to do something for herself. I can’t do travel but it would be amazing if she could get a massage or get some new books for movies. Or do a staycation & not have to cook. I am single & it’s the worst when you are down in the dumps & it seems nobody gives 2 fucks. Pardon the language but that’s how it feels
Now I have to go back to the convenience store and peel someone’s likeness off all the milk.
Dude, you never disappoint. Lmao
?
This insane heat in the south is supposed to finally stop soon, and hopefully soon we can enjoy some nice fall weather. Take care of yourself first- you know we all be here! Hope you have a good weekend!
Git off yer butt!! Some of us have REAL problems to deal with! Like gout!! How in all that is holy did I come down with gout?? I have no family history, I don’t drink beer, I don’t eat organ meats, I don’t eat mackerel or whatever the eff “rich fatty fish” it is they say will kill me…and I’m not overweight.
So I’ve been in bed, almost all day, every day, for over a week with my foot throbbing so badly that even the merest touch from the sheet is agony. And did I mention that our bedrooms are upstairs and the kitchen, with its refrigerator and freezer (the very KEY to the ice packs that the doctor said would help) are a very PAINful, 10 minute hobble away.
And I sign on, looking for a little light relief from my favorite Tea Spiller, only to find you having a Pity Party?? You cannot do this to me. To ME!!! I’m sorry but you can’t. You have a duty, you have an obligation, you have FANS!! And we’re all waiting around for YOU!!
Hope you’re doing better.
?
Git off your high horse and stop trying to quantify another’s promblems. It may hurt to walk in someone else’s shoes when you have your but you missed the larger blessing as to the fact that you still have feet. Try applying and ice compress to the cranium. It appears you have hit your head.
Likely you were so concerned, you thought Carson was being serious. It’s OK. Just don’t skip the last sentence. ♥️
Maybe you were joking too!
Drink cherry juice. Lots and lots. Trader Joe’s has some REALLY GOOD jarred cherries too. Good for kidneys also. Do you have Filipino blood? All of the younger people I know with gout are Filipino and not all of them have family members with gout.
Thank you for the cherry juice suggestion ? I am on the mend and hopefully Tamara will be doing better soon, too!
(And no, I don’t have Filipino heritage. Like I said, I have no previously established risk factors. I’m just lucky that way. ?)
I’m so glad you are ok! I have been lightweight stalking your Twitter, so I knew you were will around. I’ve been here for 10yrs and am not going anywhere!!!
Can I respectfully ask for your email without sent to the WLS?
*still (my bad…wine buzz is setting in…) ?
Her email address is in the commenting rules…
Thanks so much!!!!
We all love you, TT! We’re not going anywhere. TTFN — Ta Ta For Now
Kisses and treats to Banjo!
Aw TT sending you some ♥♥♥ from New Jersey There is only one YOU! baby, take your time but hurry-up feeling better
Thank you TT for always being the consummate professional , never tempting to post something half- baked despite now revealing you just need some time out to recharge yourself . I appreciate your articles for your candid assessments , exhaustive researching and discretion used with good contacts with insider sources and will resume reading them whenever you return.
Love you TT. You are one cool chick. I know you got this.
I was starting to worry, but I also knew you’d let us know when you were ready. Take all the time you need and know we all love ya.
I really hope you are feeling back to normal soon ~ self care is so important but not always – not usually in my world ~ so easy to do ~ here’s to hoping you feel much better ❤️
Aside from your tea being piping hot, you’re unbelievably relatable.
We love u.
I’m sorry you feel the need to be “on” 24/7. Its a rough part of the job for entrepreneurs on the internet.
Love and light TT and Banjo
Reading your post makes me tear up. I know message boards may not seem like much to some, but you bring so much joy to so many. We looooove u
So true!! I was worried when I read that messy legal post.
I was worried, too, and echo Jill’s comment that you really are loved by this awesome community you’ve created. Hang in there and trust this will pass. We are all here for you (and Banjo!).
Love you and Banjo Look forward to your posts Sending prayers in your direction
Long time reader, first time poster. Your faithful tribe is always supporting and sending positive vibes your way. Your exquisite witty banter is a highlight to my day. Rest well.
Take care of yourself. I was hoping you were okay because you hadn’t even commented on anything.
I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I lost it in my office today. I wish I could just disappear
Hey, I have been there too. Don’t disappear. You take care of yourself too.
Maria, This ⬆️. I’m pretty sure I was clinically insane this past week. Have the breakdown and then lick your wounds. Nobody wants you to disappear!
You can’t disappear Maria because we are looking to you are listening to you. You can pull it together. You have an office, I’ve never had an office! Not even in my own house. I hope when you get up tomorrow you kick Friday’s ass.
I hope you are feeling better. If you can’t take tomorrow off, take a nice shower with some good soap, put on your makeup, something comfortable and go in WITH YOUR HEAD HELD HIGH. Know it will get better, then the shits again, etc.
I KNOW I sound like a shill and an annoying ad, but CBD oil saved my life. I HATE POT. It makes me paranoid, CBD is not pot. It’s magic.
Take care, check in for support. Notice how many people HERE care about you.
Thank you everyone. I think I just need sometime to myself but it is difficult with a kid under 1. Plus I am not happy at my job and I need to re-evaluate.
I love this community and am so grateful I stumbled upon it.
I wonder how many people have said, ” Give it to God.” Greeeeattttt. I don’t give “two fucks neither.” Sometimes “it’s” not enough to give it to god. when you don’t know what ” it” is. Depression is weird. It happens at the happiest times when you should be at the top of the world, yet depression makes you feel that you are not worthy of the world. Depression. It’s a world all on itself. I don’t remember a big block of my kid’s adolescence, because I was just plain old sad. I know what it’s like not to not give two fucks. Sometimes not giving “Two Fucks” is easier than caring. Too much caring gives people a sense of entitlement to run over you, so I revert to not giving a fuck. I hear you girl more than you know. I hope whatever you are going through you set a day, maybe even a time to move on from whatever “IT” is. Because whatever ” IT” is, it has a cycle of 24 hours. remember your worst and best days only have 24hrs. Now how we choose to let “IT” effect us..is fucking on us.
OK PEOPLE! I’M LIQUORED UP SO SIT DOWN.
Refusing to start this sentence with “I or ME”, but there’s only 3 cigarettes left in the house right now, I cannot drive and “cation” started for me today. I went to a compadres funeral yesterday, I am fucking tired of crying. I’m going to stay with my daughter in Tuscon Sunday for fall break and take care of my beautiful grandson during his fall break…yup, that’s thing,
a whole week. I really wish I could take my oldest away on some fun travel adventure but she has to work, I get it. And? She really is making her life work for her and her son, I definitely need this time with them now.
Sorry, not sorry, may be back to share more…
I’m sorry for your loss. I wish I could teleport you some more cigarettes. I have gotten into my liquor stash too. It sounds like you have a great fall break to look forward to.
Half frowny thank you face! I do have a jewel but I feel like it gives me a headache, much like the nic gum. I completely know I need to quit.
I’m sorry! I take back the cig comment. They are gross and I always regret when I indulge and have one.
Kipper, herein lies the age old question… which is worse? Having no cigs, or having cigs but nothing to light them with?
Sorry for your loss. I lost another friend this past week also. It might just be the worst part of getting older.
Enjoy fall break! Mine don’t get it anymore and I miss it.
xo
Sorry about your friend. It’s so hard when the peopleour age start dying.
I hope you have THE BEST time with your family. I am so glad I never smoked, it’s harder to quit than heroin, “they” say. And quitting that was bad enough. Do you have one of those delivery services?
If I were into astrology more, I may know the answer, but there MUST be something in the stars, or the water, because so many people are having WEIRD hard times. Anyway, have fun. I will be at my 50th HS reunion. Having fun? We have lost so many in the last two years. Our “In Memoriam” pages look like a regular sized senior class.
My skin is literally prickling. I’m a pisces, I’ve always felt my sign was me.
Ha! I’m a Virgo. Opposites attract.
Kipper — I am sorry for your loss. Cherish your time with your daughter and grandson, that will help you. xo
Also thank you for worrying with me the other night about Tamara. I thought I was the only one that noticed her absence. Obviously not! She is loved. I know she hates that, but it’s true.
Thanks for checking in. Take care of you?
Love you Tamara. My spiral began when DB Jackson won Bb21 and hasn’t stopped. It exploded all the different things I’ve been mad and sad about. Lots of injustice and personal stuff happening. My poor therapist got an earful today. We all love you. Take care.
Sorry you are having a hard time. I am also out of fucks but am currently sucking it up.
As an aside, WWHL has two good guests and Nicole from BB! I know she was a favorite this season. Andy just said he thought “the winner” was a creep and he wants to talk to her about it. Hopefully you get some good tea from the aftershow!
I just watched it, and our girl was cooler than I would have been. Props to Nicole to always keeping a cool head. I mean, she was grilled by Andy and kept totally PC and nice. I hope she gets a great job at private school and gets paid tons of money.
Take care
Just SO glad to hear from you!
xoxo
I was so worried about you, still am. I was afraid you disappeared off the face of the earth, really.
I am glad you are here, and we are all hoping that you soon feel like your best self soon. Take your time, we will be here for you any time. love to you and Banjo. thanks for checking in.
Take care of yourself. I’m a diehard fan and will wait it out until you’re ready. Breathe.
We all have “creeping into the yellow wallpaper” days. Hang in there Kiddo.
I’m new to your blog but I must say you have a talent for writing – a very nice style. Feel better soon!
You deserve a break. We have plenty of drama in the news to keep us occupied until you’ve caught your breath. I think you need a real vacation, ASAP, woman.
The only upside to down cycle is that when the clouds lift you feel REALLY good, appreciative and grateful (for a little while anyway!) Sometimes we all just need to take to our bed or the sofa for a mental health week. I try to move as little as possible and find excuses not to bathe or get work done. It passes. I’ll be here when you get back with a lot of other people. Cheers.
It’s perfectly fine if the only thing you do today is breathe .. love to you and banjo ??
Depression is such a motherfucker. YOU ARE LOVED, TAMARA!!!!
TT – please know that your truth and humor have been the ray of sunshine on some of our darkest days. I hope you feel our words and let them warm your heart. I’m sure Banjo is by your side giving you unconditional puppy love.
Thinking of you. Thank you for all that you do.
Well… hope you’re doing better than those tomato plants you try to valiantly grow every year.
Sending you warm hugs from me and kisses from heaven above from those who love you … take your time and take care of yourself…
After several years without the big depression rearing its head, IT”S BACK! And I just don”t really care. This is me saying I relate. I hope a glimmer of sun, or whatever revives you comes sooner than later.
Sending love your way TT. I hope you feel better soon.
TT, saying a prayer for you. Take care of yourself and THANK YOU for what you do and for the entertainment. Your site is a much needed distraction while I sit here in the hospital with my 2 year old and my husband. Both have pneumonia. It’s been a real struggle as I have no help and can’t even walk properly as I have a boot for a messed up ankle. I do see it though…somehow, somewhere there is light at the end of the tunnel for all of us. Take care, Queen! ?
I feel like shit too TT. We’ll get through this!
Im”o go poke her with a stick and make sure she’s still alive.