Y’all. What is wrong with me? I feel like I am on spring break or Rumspringa! I have this new, fuck it all sort of why don’t we get drunk and screw attitude gong on. For one thing it is hot as hell again this week. So I am drinking like a fish, not eating, sleeping all day and staying up all night. I’m a hot mess. Seriously. So bear with me as I get the Below Deck Med Recap up!
Incredibly Inappropriate Charity Message Goes Here
First of all I used to fuck a guy who worked for the Red Cross. I could have used a more genial term, but it was a bad relationship in many ways. He was some kind of middle manager. He made sure to tell his boss what the people below him were doing. That was basically it. He was rarely on location anywhere. Sometimes he would roll over, make a call and resume fucking. He made six figures in this job. He was eventually fired for sexting multiple people on the company account. ALLEGEDLY.
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I bring up this nasty memory not just because I am on Rumspringa but because I do not think the Red Cross gets much of your donations to the people who need it. IN MY OPINION you should instead donate to B Strong and/or World Central Kitchen. Outside of my imaginary Internet Husband, Chef Jose is probably the best person in the world.
Sorry. Rambling already. Apologies. Rumspringa.
The Galley of This Boat is HORRID!
Back to the Below Deck recap. Ben is having a hard time regaining his sea legs. Travis is having a hard time staying sober. Ben physically carried Travis to the van. Then they all had to carry him into the ship.
I love the shopping trip to Antibes. It’s on the Côte d’Azur between Cannes and Nice. Or “the south of France as we call it. I am trying to be excited over the fact that I can go there soon. Or anywhere else I desire. But, I am having a hard time caring. Depression and alcohol don’t mix well. Sorry. Moving on.
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Fifteen minutes into my Below Deck Med recap, Banjo informs me that his dinner was not up to par. So I had to fix that and then the King of the Castle wanted to spend time outside, Argh.
Rough Seas Ahead!
I am getting seasick just watching this boat rocking. Yet they are putting out toys. Why? It seems like the waters are calmer. But then one of the male charters gets in distress on a jetski and needs rescuing.
Everyone survives. Ben starts upping his game. I might actually be sick. I can’t stop sneezing and blowing my nose. I’m too old for this sort of Rumspringa behavior. Like several decades to old.
It seems ridiculous to buy cloches at this point. There are like two more cruises. And why do we need TWO HUNDRED EGGS?
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Meanwhile Joao fucked up and Captain Sandy could care less. For a lesbian, she sure does have a hard on for Joao. Are we sure she isn’t bi? On the other hand she HATES Travis. She dresses him down (appropriately) for a snarky comment on the radio. To be fair Travis has been pulled in to do many jobs this season that he didn’t sign up for. Is he drunk a lot on shore? Sure. But he does seem to be a functional alcoholic. Sandy and Travis eventually hug it out.
Jack Is A Poet Who Doesn’t Know It!
Jack leaves a poem for Aesha. “Your head is fat, you have a nice twat, your box is furry like a cat, you are lovely.” Um if only someone had loved me like that. Um, NOT.
Captain Sandy is worried about Travis’ drinking. Perhaps Captain Lee should….let me shut up. Anyway. Captain Sandy talks to Travis about his drinking. She’s an alcoholic. She had a very rough life as a result. It’s a very interesting conversation. Captain Sandy has not had a drink in 29 years. She is very kind during this conversation.
Collie Wollie gets to drive the boat! I love Colin.
Then WE HAVE A SITUATION!
Next week it all goes to shit.
My first donation was to BStrong!
I have mixed feelings on Captain Sandy.
Totally agree with you regarding the Red Cross. I MO, Salvation Army also doesn’t give back. Awhile ago I read an article on how much both charity’s pay their executives (6 to 7 figures). But yet Salvation has cut all their program’s to help disabled people. At one point mentally disabled people were not even being paid minimum wage when they were working in the stores. I don’t know if it’s now different, I won’t support either charity. I have given money to Chef Jose’s charity, he’s amazing. He was one of the first people in Puerto Rico and stayed there for months.
Prycer are you sure you don’t mean Goodwill Industries and not Salvation Army? I think Salvation Army’s head honcho only makes $1 a year for a salary. I may be wrong but I could’ve sworn I read that somewhere. I’ve never seen a Salvation Army store, but as far as I’m concerned Goodwill takes donations of clothing, etc. and then resells that stuff cheap and doesn’t give back. If they do it’s not much. I refuse to give stuff to them after I heard that.
I think you’re right, @Skeeter. I refuse to give to Goodwill, Red Cross or United Way for those reasons. I donate to Salvation Army, Purple Heart, Amvets and local rescue groups.
Years ago I was forced to donate a percentage of my paycheck to United way. I was young & stupid & my head nurse sat me down & said your donating 3% of your paycheck , each pay period. Then it came out , the executives had drivers & here I am taking public transportation. So I made a huge fuss & stopped it. I won’t give to the United Way because of that. I donate to Purple Heart .
Not feeling Sandy. Stay consistent, she keeps flip flopping. I feel like working for her you are constantly walking on eggshells. If I could only find a poet like Jack (NOT).
Totally agree. She micro manages. And when she is done with one person she moves on to whoever catches her eye. I can’t believe she hasn’t noticed Jack and Aesha making out everywhere or has she and I missed it?
I had a tough time watching because I have been seasick and I literally wanted to die. There was nowhere I could go to feel better, it was terrible. Aesha cracks me up, whatever she and jack have going is sweet in a kind of funny way. Sometimes I want to punch hannah in the face, and others I want to just give her a bad time. She annoys me.
Jack wrote what I call a pome. When the writer is pretentious, it is a po-em. Great poets are a gift, crappy poets are either clueless and cute, clueless and pathetic or conceited for no good reason. Jack is the clueless and cute. Maybe he should try a limerick.
I’m surprised Jack’s “pome” (LOL) didn’t start out with “there once was a man from Nantucket”!
There once was a girl from Down Under,
About her poopchute she would wonder,
Stuck her thumb up her bum
And pulled out a plum.
And told all the crew of her blunder.
(I come from two families of potty mouths.)
BAHAHAHAHA LMAO OMG I love this
hahahahahahahahaha
I don’t know where my comment went to – nothing was said that it went to moderation. I loved your “pome” LOLOL
BRAVO!!! That was excellent!!! ???
I don’t know if it’s bad editing, in fact I hope it is, but Captain Sandy is coming across as somewhat of an asshole this season. It’s a shame because there’s no way in hell she got to be in her position in such a tough, male dominated career by being weak or a poor decision maker. Just more of the misogyny channels bullshit I guess. It’s pissing me off to see her come across this way. I just don’t buy the idea of any boat captain, including Sandy, prioritizing garbage over a deckhand assisting another crew member who is in the water, at night, with tools. That scene made it look like she had Travis abandon Joao just to do a freaking garbage run! I was expecting her to tell the galley to piss off and handle their business. Safety definitely takes priority over garbage. Again, it was probably just editing and Joao wasn’t alone, but man, Sandy’s just not looking great this season.
All the talk of international travel lately along with this glimpse of the south of France is making me nostalgic and longing for the days of my youth when I was free, healthy, had enough discretionary income to go to these locales. Sigh :/
Also, I might be in the minority here but I fully support the Red Cross. I have lived through more than one natural disaster and lost most of my “stuff” more than once and have friends who lost even more. I have seen this organization first hand. They do a hell of a lot more than fucking FEMA (don’t even get me started on FEMA!). They also provide BLOOD, y’all. Blood is just as important as money in times of disaster. If you don’t have money to donate, or don’t want to donate money, please go give blood! And/or volunteer for them, then you can see first hand how legit they actually are. But it’s really important to give blood year round so there’s enough when disaster strikes!
Afterthought: How do they get all of these great shots of the BD crews going into town without having tons of gypsy children mobbing them and begging for money? They are EVERYWHERE! Lol
I donated to Bstrong.
Bethenny is working non stop and posting updates as to what is going on. It is absolutely horrendous what is happening over there. It’s so bad that some ocean’s in Florida are unsafe due to bacteria. What she has witnessed is something she said she will never be able to unsee, and she needs all of our help. It is far more worse than what is being reported b’c there is so much chaos and confusion everywhere. So, we have no idea of the loss of life, it’s impossible to find out as of now.
The average donation is $20 and she received over a million dollars. People gave more, and few a bit less, but the average is $20. Spread the word on these two charities and help however you can. We all need to help these people. It’s beyond tragic.
Not down playing but it is pretty common for the gulf coast to have bacteria in the ocean. It happens here in south Texas at least a couple of times a year.
Yes, THIS!
Hi Maria! I’m also a south Texan!!! And yes to the bacteria, though I don’t know the levels in Florida right now.
I do live how people whine every year about the flesh-eating bacteria that naturally blooms when the gulf reaches 80+ degrees.
So Beth is busy having ALL THE FUN instead of filming RHNY!
Either my memory isn’t very good, or Tinsley is the only other one who has a background in philanthropy. Ramona only “does charity” to benefit her brands — free advertising.
It’s gross how the stews sit on the table when they are arranging the décor for dinner. Tonight, Anastasia was kneeling on it and had her shoes on the table–yuck!
That was ridiculous! She and her shoes on the table near the plates. So hope she cleaned it after. Also, I’d prefer the chef and anybody else who touches the food to wear gloves.
Not a fan of Captain Sandy. I think she is a piss poor leader but she did well in that talk with Travis.
It doesn’t matter whose in the galley, that kitchen is terrible and needs a complete overhaul.
What feels weird to me is the forced and awkward hugging Sandy tries. As a boss, I don’t know—it feels a little creepy. Maybe it’s just me?
It’s not just you. That hug she gave Travis was just so damn creepy. She’s supposed to be the boss, so be the boss! Boundaries man, especially in the age of “me too”. We rightfully hold men in the workplace to strict standards of professionalism, and we should absolutely have those same standards for our female employers. That hug just seemed forced, awkward and inappropriate.
I haven’t seen that many episodes with Sandy but I kinda liked her. It’s a really difficult job and it thrills me to see a woman doing it. Most of the “cast” onboard is unqualified and unprepared for working at sea. There is NO questioning orders, especially on a boat! You can’t stop and argue with your superior or the captain, imagine an emergency. There HAS to be one person in charge. Most of the kids argue over every little order. It would be chaotic and dangerous to have a crew like that at sea.
Cloches. Thanks for spelling that out. I’ve never heard the word. For some reason I thought that they were on the same yacht as season 3 but I don’t remember the galley being so tiny.
I think they are, but the other chefs had time to kind of arrange certain things to their liking, Ben was thrown in with zero time to make it “his” galley. No matter what it is a poor design but had he arranged where certain things were he’d be a bit better off.
There have been three boats: Sirocco, Ionian Princess, and Talisman Maiton. This galley seems poorly designed. Not even including the malfunctioning cooktop. If Ben didn’t have to spend so much time trying to get the stovetop to work, he could have spent time rearranging his kitchen. Who knows where Mila put anything.
Fun fact. The boats are really named what we think they are. They use fake names. But Sirocco has been fully emblazed on the side of the ship, so I wonder if that is CGI or they did it just for the show.
That explains how Capt. Lee was able to change a ship’s name to Valor.
I may be in the minority but I think it was really nice the way Cap Sandy reached out to Travis. Sharing such a painful history and telling him to just try 30 days to see if he can do it.
Are Aesha and Jack still together – anyone know?
I don’t think so I read he has posted pics with another girl.
I am very disappointed there will be no reunion. (So is Andy.) At least Bravo has had informal reunions on WWHL. Not even that this season. I am guessing the logistics may have something to do with it — the crew is from all over the world. That would make sense. But it probably is something petty.
Joao and Ben were pretty funny on WWHL. Ben said Hannah put the moves on him — aggressively. (Remember the Dragon Lady?) Joao said Travis would make an excellent bosun. And to keep watching… I hope he stops drinking.
Something Joao disclosed is that Sandy talked to him about his drinking after she watched last season unfold and it had an impact on him. Joao becomes a bigger asshole while drinking. Travis — to me — is a sadder case. Something deep in there combined with loneliness. My heart goes out to him. Been there, drank that. Drank EVERYTHING.
Nah, I think he’s just a dirtbag.
Congrats to Capt Sandy for 29 years!
A lot of these “disaster charities” have their problems so always check them out before donating. When in search of hurricane relief years ago I had gone to the Red Cross where they were giving out prepaid debit cards for groceries. I stood in line listening to quite a few people talking about how they got cards for family members and used other ID’s to con the Red Cross out of extra cards yet after all of those hours in line, watching dishonest crooks leave with $100 pre-paid cards. I tried to tell the Red Cross worker about what I was hearing out in line when it was my turn and she just didn’t seem to even care.
I was given a voucher to go across town to the salvation army for food. Keep in mind there was no gas available after the storm so many of us were doing our best to ration. After a few more hours at the salvation army I was given bags of groceries, paper towels and jugs of water. When I tried to give back any items I did not need, I was told to take it all or get nothing! I took it and then went out to the parking lot and handed others the items I didn’t need.
It is an imperfect system but those who really care will find a way to make it work and get the aid to those who need it
Three things:
1) I donated to B Strong and Waves for Water, I agree about the Red Cross
2) I thought the convo between Sandy and Travis was by far the most interesting part of the show last night
3) I love Collin
Tamara- sorry to hear you are struggling- been there many times myself. And I still turn to vodka for relief. Having an active brain during these times is not easy, so getting dumb/numb kinda helps. I love your recaps!