With Ben’s return to the show, you also get me back on Below Deck Med recaps! So, um yay?! The show hasn’t even started yet and I am already worried about Colin. Hopefully, his wrist isn’t broken. But, that sure did look like a hard fall.
We are back on-board with the obnoxious female guests who treat all the deckhands like they are pieces of meat. If the guests were men treating the stews like this, the Captain would have a word with them. Well, Captain Lee would anyway.
Meanwhile, Travis has the sads because Aesha has taken away his bunkie. Apparently, it is like a divorce for poor Travis. Travis’ new bunkie isn’t the best of company. Especially since the guests all found his dessert inedible. They did enjoy copious amounts of tequila though. And now they are ready for the airing of grievances. Apparently, one of them has slept with the other one’s ex-husband. Naturally, this leads to a lot of penis discussion. Oh wait! Captain Sandy did tell some of the ladies to stop molesting her crew and let them do their jobs.
Elegance Is Learned, My Friend
Around one a.m. things move on to naked handstands and peeing themselves. As tends to happen. Suddenly, Luann de Lesseps appears on the deck and begins belting, “Money Can’t Buy You Class…” That didn’t really happen. But, it would have been great. Instead, the ingrates start singing made up songs about Captain Sandy being horny. Lovely.
After a late night, the deckhands and Ben are all up and at them by 8 a.m. But, Hannah, Aesha and Anastasia have overslept. Captain Sandy is not amused. Anastasia is the one who is supposed to be working the morning shift so she gets the brunt of Captain Sandy’s ire.
High Winds On The High Seas
Captain Sandy knew at the beginning of the episode that high winds were coming. So why did she let the deckhands put out all the toys? Now suddenly they all have to be pulled up quickly because the anchor isn’t hold in the wind and the anchor is getting dragged around. #ThisIsACrisis
Remember last week when Captain Sandy said she had her dream deck team and couldn’t possibly let Colin go home to his mommy? Well, suddenly, she thinks they all suck. I blame her piss poor planning. So, with everyone running around like chickens with their heads cut off, our precious Colin takes a hard fall!
Colin needs to go to the hospital to get his wrist X-rayed. Joao rushes him to shore on the tender. He’s really worried he is going to lose Colin for the season. And he’s one of the few deckhands who actually works. But a deckhand with only one hand is no bueno. Actually, he got an MRI. Things are fancy in the EU hospital. It’s not broken, just a sprain. He got lots of drugs. Later, Collie calls his mommy to let her know about his boo-boo.
Captain Sandy, Studette Of The Sea?
Captain Sandy is joining the guests for dinner. Ben suggests a family style dinner because other than scarfing down a couple of cheese burgers to assuage their morning hangovers, the don’t seem to be eating much. Sandy is down with whatever Ben wants to do. What he wants to do looks delicious! Two of the ladies seem more interested vying for Captain Sandy’s attention than what is on the plate. The food may not be hot enough, but the hostility is beginning to bubble over.
In real life news, Captain Sandy has a relatively new girlfriend who was diagnosed with breast cancer in the last week or two.:( Sidenote: Please no breast cancer stories in comments.
Because Ben was only on the boat for two hours before the guests arrived, Ben doesn’t know how to get to the aft deck. That said, he wasn’t even going in the right direction, so this is likely production nonsense.
After dinner, drama ensues between the two drunk chicks vying for Captain Sandy’s attention. It’s a ridiculous drunken fight for no reason. Eventually, after some somewhat consensual flirtation with Travis, they all pass out.
You Don’t Have to Go Home But You Can’t Stay Here!
When the drunks go through the receiving line Travis passes a note to the blonde one that includes his digits. Travis is a drunk too, so I guess he has that in common with the guests.
When Captain Sandy had dinner with the guests, she was not happy with the table setting. So now that the guests are gone, she shows Hannah photos from table settings from a boat show. I do have to say the table decor for Captain Sandy’s dinner was the worse of the season. But, I feel like this had to be production. I can’t see Hannah thinking that was okay. And the guest was clearly prompted to notice it. White table cloths need to replace the lazy Susan.
Not A Chance In France
It’s time for the crew to hit the town. Travis has said that he is going to stop getting so drunk that he hits women. I’m not holding my breath.
Right away Travis is hyped up to pound some vodka and Red Bull. But then he starts off with beer so maybe there is hope. Travis and Hannah shoot yet another scene where she tells him to watch his drinking. He is the type person that will do the opposite of what he is told to do. Because, He doesn’t like to be told what to do. Hannah basically mashes all his buttons, spins him around and points him to the bar.
The club gave the table a huge bottle of what looks like vodka. Travis gulps it down and eventually just sticks a long straw in the bottle. Then he falls down drunk and breaks his glass. Travis can’t stand or walk and has to be carried to the van and placed inside by the guys.
Next week’s guests look like more assholes with way more money than sense. Apparently, one needs an ocean rescue. Captain Sandy’s mood goes from bad to worse. See you back here next Monday night for the next Below Deck Med Recap!