Oh hey, it’s me Tamara, filling in once again for this Below Deck Med Recap! The thing is that I watched the show very late last night and then deleted it. So this should be an interesting adventure for all of us. We all know I can’t remember anything.
So we started with a crying June. Getting fired is never fun. I really thought they would fire Jack and move June to the deck crew. Problem solved. But Captain Sandy wants June gone. Out on deck, Colin is also crying. He doesn’t really want to be there anymore. He’s been looking for a way out. Now he can go out as a martyr. So off he goes to tell Sandy he wants to leave so that June could stay.
So, YAY! Everyone is happy! Nope Captain Sandy has said her last, “June, June, Sandy!” She tells Collie Wollie that the deck crew is perfect and she can’t afford to lose him. Captain Sandy is such a party pooper. She seems like a gay woman who hates women. I’ve never seen this particular dichotomy before. Her perfect deck crew has Travis the perpetual drunk and Jack who works really hard at not doing any work at all. But she can’t have June take one of those spots?
Hannah moves Jack in with Aesha so they can hook up. But Aesha said something about not needing a penis because she has hands. Or something. I was reading online about possible far away lands I could flee to. Ben will room with Travis. Travis will miss Jack’s dick. Apparently they had some sort of late night dick measuring contests which are none of our business.
The Charter Guests
Hmmm what do I remember about the charter guests? They are a bunch of cougars who never want to be without a strong drink in their hands. I could probably hang with this group. Except they have an obsession with Travis because one of his parents is Canadian. I think one of the guests is Canadian or something and wants to take Travis home as her souvenir from the trip. That’s some pretty piss poor picking, lady. Even Hannah is disgusted with him and she’s not the least bit picky.
There was some ridiculous production interference where Anastasia is suddenly unable to do the job of third stew. Meanwhile, Ben doesn’t know where anything is in the kitchen. He’s using provisions he didn’t order. And the kitchen only has two functioning burners. And the production story about “this food isn’t hot enough” continues.
Oh and at the very end, the perfect deck crew Captain Sandy loves so much managed to lose the the tender and some random boat had to return it to them. They didn’t even know it was missing.
I’m sure I forgot some stuff. But this will have to suffice. Apologies. I think I will go back to doing the Below Deck Med Recaps from here on out. There are three episodes left.