by Dalai Mama
Welcome to the Below Deck Med Recap. This week, dysfunction aboard the Sirocco becomes explosive, and by journey’s end someone has tendered their resignation and abandoned ship.
First off, I must question why Bravo felt they needed 90 minutes special for tonight’s episode. The drama that unfolded here is would translate to about 115 seconds of footage if it were measured in MTV:The Real World time. The dramatic arc of this show has speed of a geriatric hamster on a lopsided hamster wheel.
Of course we must revisit the Errant Hair Atop Key Lime Pie Slice mishap of last week. Anastasia says, “I take responsibility for every single little thing that is on their plates. It was a boy hair.” Therefore not her fault.
Hannah tells June she will be on duty at a quarter past 7. “Twenty-five”, June confirms, nodding. Confusion ensues. Turns out, June’s gone the first 23 years of her life thinking quarter after the hour meant twenty-five minutes. Because, you know, a quarter is 25 cents.
Anastasia whines about the guests not being on time which is bogus. She’s not the soup Nazi, and Sirocco isn’t the Clove Club where diners book tables months in advance. What part of “The Rich People Are Never Wrong” does Anastasia find so hard to understand?
Initiative to Not Let the Boat Burn
Hannah observes that though June may not be able to tell time, she does set a great Mardi Gras table. That’s the kind of thing June could put on her resume if for some reason she thought she might be looking for a job soon. (Look Ma, I’m FORESHADOWING!)
More on Below Deck Med Here!
Colin is being nice to June. “He seems to care about other people’s feelings.” June says. This moment FORESHADOWS the events later in the Below Deck Med Recap when..oh never mind. The highly skilled and resolutely employed June goes into the galley, notices a pan on the stove with the burner on that is smoking, and without hesitation she…begins to make orange juice. Anastasia reenters and sees the smoking pan. June is still at the juicer. Anastasia then offers the first sensible suggestion for June that I’ve heard come out of her mouth. “Take initiative to not let the boat burn”. I’ll even forgive the split infinitive.
The Vomiting Wilbur
The guests gather up Vomiting Wilbur and leave. On handing over the tip envelope, the primary makes a few pointed comments about cold food. Fast forward to the tip meeting, in which the crew is not happy at all with the tip. Somebody somewhere makes the primal connection: bad food mean bad tip.
Anastasia promptly resigns her chef position. The eyes of a grateful nation scan the horizon for Ben. He’s not there.
I’m beginning to understand Hannah’s problem with Travis and his drinking. As the crew goes out to dinner together on their night off, it’s becoming clear that Travis really does change his personality when he’s drunk. He’s like the little girl with the curl right in the middle of his forehead. When he is good (and sober) and is very very good, but when he is drunk, he’s torrid. The first clue in the evening is in the van, when he accidentally slams his seat-back into Aesha’s face. It’s an honest mistake. But as Hannah points out, what is notable is that Travis refuses to apologize. First he doesn’t believe it happened, then he turns and looks at Aesha and says he doesn’t see a mark on her face, so she’s obviously fine. Yeah, that IS bad.
The Smack Heard Round the World
Travis gets sulky at dinner and goes outside to brood. Hannah follows him and tries to diplomatically explain why hitting someone with your seat-back and refusing to acknowledge it happened is problematic. Travis just gets more irritated with Hannah, so she gives up and goes back to the table. After a few moments, Travis follows.
More on Below Deck Med Here!
What ensues is (to me) the most genuinely jaw-dropping moment of my Below Deck Med Recap season. Travis returns to his seat, and notices Anastasia with her elbow on the table and her chin propped in her hand. He looks at her for a moment, lifts his hand, and smacks her across the face. HARD. Joao immediately jumps in, and for once I don’t mind his moral outrage. Once again, Travis has NO idea what the big deal is. He seems like a great guy, but this is a problem. A big one.
The next morning Travis does his own recap and feels terrible. Anastasia does a good job of defusing his “I am not a batterer of women” defense. Good for her for having a cool head on this one, because she is able to reassure Travis that he’s not a woman beater, but to point out that what he is doing, which is accidentally hurting people while drunk, is unacceptable.
That’s Not Nice
Meanwhile, the still not explicitly-named Ben send a telegram that he’s on his way. Sandy immediately calls June to the wheelhouse, tells her they found a chef, and fires her. June is blindsided and says, “That’s not nice,” while making this face:
While work is work, and people do get fired, and June needs to grow up and stop whinging, Sandy totally mishandled this. Why was it not made clear to June from the get go that her job might likely be only temporary? Why did Sandy not let her know when Ben agreed to be put on standby? In the real world, Sandy is the boss and she’s allowed to be peremptory and cold if she wants. But it wasn’t necessary. I continue to think Sandy is being super strange and acting very defensively this season.
More on Below Deck Med Here!
Then in a strange twist, Colin feels so bad about June being ass-canned that he sacrifices his own position so that she can stay. Which makes no sense, because he’s creating a deckie shortage, and leaving a stew surplus. Whatever was going on with Colin, his exit story did not hold much water.
On next week’s Below Deck Med Recap
The Sirocco is under attack by a band of very demanding cougars. Anastasia manages to accidentally shrink a guest’s dress. Is Colin gone? Is Ben finally on board?
This show has gotten pathetic!
LOL – Colin quits and gives his job to June…and lo and behold after much thought and deliberation Captain Sandy asks Colin to return as chef! He makes macaroni and cheese for the charter guests three meals a day and everyone is happy. Ben declines the offer to return as chef and instead informs Captain Sandy he is now employed as a Mary Poppins stand-in at a theater in England. However he was abruptly fired for not remembering his lines and repeating “ello lovelies” each and every scene. The Below Deck season closes with Captain Sandy and Lazy Jack getting married and sailing off into the sunset…and Hannah returns to Australia where she writes several award winning books entitled, “Toilet Paper Origami, “Fold Those Towels Right” and “No, I Really Really Don’t Like You.”
@Kelly04 This comment is approaching perfection.
Too bad you aren’t part of the BD Med production team. It would actually go back to being interesting.
Wondering if the towel-folding book will include her pal Kate Chastain’s “rocket ship” folding instructions.
I Love it! When can you start working for the show?
Addressing Colin’s “sacrifice”: According to her resume, (je)June has crew and stew experience, prefers crew. I love how we JUST learned that Anastasia HAS BEEN A CHEF — albeit on a much smaller boat — after being presented as a stew with “some chef skills.” My theory that the entire chef drama has centered on Ben’s availability is gaining traction. Travis’s drunken persona is rivaling Jezabob in its magnitude. (I turn into Nadine Bodine and could flatten either in seconds.) As for Lazy Jack, I abhor laziness, but if a person makes me laugh, it overrides my disdain. When I was closer at a restaurant, I had to sign off on everyone’s side work. Mr. Lazyass was on ketchup marrying duty one night. Thirty minutes later, the bottles were half empty. He had shaken them up to make them look, full prior to racing out. How could I not laugh? It’s just “show biz.”
Pretty sure she did mention that a long time ago. Since it seems that this season has been on forever, it was probably only a few weeks ago.
It was mention on the first episode and that’s why she was helping Mila (can’t remember if that was her name or not).
This news makes me not hate production as much.
I have waited all day for your recap. You did not let me down. I loved it!
@Joey, awww, thank you!
Colin is homesick and wants to go home. I think he views this as an opportunity to exit without being seen as a quitter. If this situation hadn’t arisen, he would finish the season because that’s the kind of guy he is.
Trying again…
Thanks so much for your awesome recap Dalai Mama!
I think Colin is homesick. This situation presents an opportunity for him to go home without feeling like he quit. If June wasn’t let go I think he would suck it up and stick it out until the end of the season. (Although I have a feeling he did stay and finish the season with everyone.)
@sueshea I think you’re right on both counts.
I love this SHOW! Can’t wait for Ben to come back! The picture that was posted with Ben & crew in the fall has Colin, but no June is visible. I’m so hoping Colin stays, as there would be an almost fully functioning crew for the next 3 charters. Jack doesn’t really count, but he’s funny! And June, really? 7:25? Seriously? No wonder bartending school took so long. Come on Ben! His laugh is the BEST!
I so want to ask June what time she thinks it is when it is half past a monkeys ass and a quarter to his balls.
BAHAHAHAHA LMAO
😂🤣🐒🕤
@Nannette: with regard to your perfect comment: I utterly adore you.
Thank you. I feel so special now. ♥️
Ah, Nannette, now I have the old rhyme “milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner fudge is made ” going through my immature head!
One of my ex-boyfriends wanted to open a bar in SF called Milk, Milk, Lemonade around the corner from a(n) (existing) candy factory. (Where fudge is made.) In grade school, I was the goody goody with the secret potty mouth, can you tell?
Did anyone else have a problem with Aeshas reaction to Anastasia crying after Travis slapped her. Aesha said it wasn’t a big deal and she needed to get over it
This coming from the same person who was assaulted herself. Granted they are two totally different situations, but I expected a lot more understanding and caring for Anastasia from Aesha
@Michelle I must be honest. I’ve been pretty high on Aesha for some weeks now. But yes, Aesha’s dismissing it was disturbing. It doesn’t make me hate Aesha, it actually makes me love her all the more. It is a character departure for her, and the fact that she is trying to gradate between levels of violence…that means a true headgame was played on, her and in spite of the growth she’s undergone since her rape, she’s still been left with psychological wounds that may cause her to make statements like that. To go Stockholm Syndrome, when to us it seems she didn’t have to.
I don’t hate Aesha either. Hope my comment didn’t come across that way. She is one of my favorites. It was such a departure from character for her. Why I was thrown off.
Having a similar experience to Aesha. I know it takes a long time to deal with what happened. And you never fully get over it. I’m still #TeamAesha
I forgot to say I love your posts @DalaiMama. I rarely comment, but I read them every week. Your sense of humor is very similar to mine👍
I’m wondering where Aisha is from. There’s no excuse for what he did. End of. Cultural differences tho might give room for pause. He’s a Brit and they’re a bit more ‘handsy’ than Americans. So are Australians. They flick hands, pull hit (don’t make full contact) and push each other around more. Is Aisha’s from Oz or Uk etc, she might well see such slapping around as fairly trivial and done without malice. It might well have been meant without malice – just to waken her up. BUT it was misjudged, mistimed and totally wrong. We shouldn’t be too hard on Aisha but Travis deserves whatever he gets. He’s a grown up in international company and he should adjust his behaviour accordingly.
June always looks high to me, like super high. Well and confused.
In the preview for next week, it looks like colin is in the background. Happy to see june go. She didnt bring anything to the table
Oh, good I’m not the only one scanning the previews to see who is still on the boat. I thought I saw him, too. I wish Colin would get more confessional time. He is so endearing. First the fluffer comment a few weeks ago and then last night, this: “I don’t think girls see how handsome my mother tells me I am.”
I laughed out loud when Colin said that. I really do like him!
Except for her Mardi Gras decorations! (Which I thought was ugly.)
It’s gross that they sit on the dining table when they are piling on the junk–I mean, decorations–in the center of it.
It’s so confusing to me–if the yacht experience is so special and “classy”, wtf is up with those tablescapes?!
It was so annoying June not answering Hannah, I think I’m going to do that to my hubby, with his selective hearing lol, something like this honey, honey, u want dinner…………..?…crickets… cool no answer, cheese sandwich 🥪 it is lol 😂
Oh, I so hope June goes AWAY. I agree with TheRealDeb, June does always look high. She is also about useless. Can’t believe she just looked at the smoking pan and juiced oranges… Thanks for the recap, Mama!
That was so crazy that she looked at the smoking pan for a minute and then proceeds to make OJ. How about taking the initiative and do something. Poor thing has no common sense.
WTF do you think she would have done if it had flamed up? Likely pour grease on it! I wonder if it were a set up. Us nonchefs may go off and leave the burner on. But a “pro” such as Anastasia? If I owned a yacht, I would have an induction cooktop and appliances. (If I had a kid in a dorm, I would get them an induction burner, very safe.) If I had a watch, I would use fingernail polish to mark “quarter” on the 3, 6, 9, and 12 positions.
She could have just turned off the burner or better yet move the pan. I highly doubt you would sit there and watch a smoking pan and keep on juicing oranges.
Unless you are really high or mentally challenged. As June seems to be.
June said on WWHL she never smokes pot or does drugs. She’s a super health nut. Except for the night she shoveled the cake in her pie hole. (Thanks Denise Richards for my new favorite words). Guys, she took 2 YEARS to finish bar tending school. With the pan, I bet she had a camera man over her shoulder and thought he do something if it was dangerous. She said the cameras made her very nervous. She just has no gumption. If Sandy had seen the pan incident, she would have thrown her over-board.
And Anastasia would have been right behind her.
Why did she leave a pan (with oil?) on a hot stove top and walk away?
Too many allowances are being made for the sake of fake drama, time to have some crew members, starting with Jack the Slacker, walk the plank.
Anastasia is at fault for leaving the pan unattended.
I think Captain Sandy is the real douche bag here. Would she have found a chef if Anastasia hadn’t gone to her about her stress levels– after two charters of lousy food? Sandy should have found a chef immediately after Mila was fired or was that decision production driven?
I felt bad for June. She got treated like shit– especially by Hannah who didn’t seem to take the time to train her. Still love the show, but WTF is going on. I just think they were waiting for Ben to be available before sending Anastasia back to toilet duty.
I disagree that Hannah mistreated June. I think Hannah was kind to her and took time to shoe her the ropes. June’s only complaint was she wasn’t told when to take a break and eat. Plus, she blatantly ignored her radio.
I am so disappointed in Travis. Some people should just not drink. I sure miss Ben and cannot wait for his return. He can be temperamental but he is so fun to watch. Won’t miss June, she just seems so “off”.
I LOVE these recaps… you seem to get a lot in for those of us who missed it. Thanks!
I’m late to the party, as I’m just watching this. I admit I clutched my pearls when someone asked for well done. Why not squirt ketchup on it too. You know the saying that youth is wasted on the young?
Thanks Dalai Mama for the recap.