A new season of Love After Lockup premiered last night, and I told myself I wasn’t going to watch it. But it’s on my DVR and I thought I might just give it a peek. So I’m not sure if this will be a Love After Lockup recap, or just me deciding if I want to watch it.
What I know for sure you should be watching is 60 Days In: Narcoland. It’s great, but not really recapable because of the different set ups. There are the usual people in jail, but also, people going undercover in the drug neighborhoods to get information. We also ride along with the police this season. There is a lot going on. It’s kind of like Live PD meets 60 Days In.
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Anyway, on to the premiere of Love after Lockup recap. Right off the bat, there are too many couples. Seven couples are way too many. Perhaps Angela gets stood up by Tony again on this season. We only need three or four couples at a time.
Cheryl & Josh
This one is perhaps clinically insane. Cheryl is 30 really stupid. Apparently, she is dating a bank robber because she wants “a big ole glamorous life.” She’s a real genius this one. She claims she met Josh while doing a report on serial killers for school. That is either a bald-faced lie, or she is still working on that GED at 30. She has a thing for serial killers. Bank robbers also turn her on. Turnoffs include rational thought and responsibility and education. She has three kids!
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Production tells her to say she has spent $30K on the bank robber. She says she makes about $1200 a week as an intervention assistant and that is “plenty enough” to raise three kids and take care of the bank robber. She doesn’t even make $30K a year after taxes. He sister literally says,”You’re stupid.” The sister seems to have a brain in her head. She needs to flee the town and get away from the crazy.
Cheryl’s friend Tony is a full on clown. He comes to make balloon animals at her kid’s birthday. Then we meet Cheryl’s parents. They should never have procreated.
Vincent & Amber
Vincent can’t tell us what he does for a living. I’m guessing mass murderer. He wants to marry Amber. He has been talking to Amber in prison for almost two years. She’s a drug dealer. She says Vincent is in the military. Amber is going to move in with her jail girlfriend, Puppy. Puppy’s mom is still in prison. Vincent’s mom wants to go with him to pick up Amber.
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Amber is being released after four years. They have never met in person. Amber doesn’t seem that bad. They head to an AirBnB.
Andrea & Lamondre
Andrea is 37 with three kids and five sisters. The sisters do not know about Lamondre. Or so the script goes. Lamondre is a “drug lord” who has been arrested so many times I could not count them all. Lamondre has gold teeth. This is just like the Mormon chick and the LA guy. She thinks Lamondre just needs Jesus, and a wife. She thinks Lamondre is good-looking and very smart. Andrea is a straight up fool.
The sisters didn’t take the news of her engagement very well. Because, her sister’s seem relatively sane. One of them called her mother and mama showed up big mad.
Lacey & John
Oh look! Another one with three kids that she is exposing to a convicted felon. Lacey apparently does online sex modeling. Her kid’s father and her previous boyfriends are all locked up. Oh I forgot to mention all the women so far are “engaged” to their inmate. Lacey’s dad says she needs to put her kids first. Apparently, John is going to be on tether at her house with the kids.
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Breaking News! Lacey has two inmate boyfriends. So it’s double the dumb. Shane is in prison for malicious wounding. It seems he is getting out of prison before John.
Angela & Tony
We already know how dumb Angela is. We have seen her before. Angela has just a few hours pickup Tony, go out for a steak dinner, have sex at the truckstop and get him to the halfway house.
Oh lord, there is a followup on the previous idiots. Garrett looks terrible. Johanna is still awful. Garrett has a new girlfriend, Nelly. She’s pretty.
So what’s the verdict?
It’s hard to keep track w so many couples. They send the convicts money. In my opinion that’s why they say they love the ones on the outside. All this money why do they need money in prison?? What are they buying??
Newsflash! You can buy most anything in prison. From drugs to pruno (wine made from bread and fruit in the toilet tank, IF the toilet has a tank) to sprouts to a ferret.
Dang! Learn something new every day here! I will rationalize watching this show as it being edumacational lol!
Now I want a prison ferret!!!!!
Yes! I love these shows!
I couldn’t believe when they showed Andrea and Lamondre’s segment and he said that he sends her money!!
This show makes every decision I’ve ever made, look like a good one.
I know girl, I’ve let the dopamine cause me to overlook huge red flags in relationships just so I could get me more of that glittery floating feeling but Dayum these people make me feel really good about myself seeing how much worse it could be.
I saw on a gossip site that Andrea has about 12 different mugshots. Charges ranging from theft to fraud to assault to arson. Where do they find these people?
Jail. And they barely pay them anything for this public humiliation. Like a thousand dollars an episode if that. But that seems like a lot to them and they don’t have any lawyers negotiation their contracts.
Why do women with kids send money to men in jail? If they can find ways to send extra dough to convicts, why can’t they spend that dough to, I don’t know, buy something special for their children? Where do they money to do that?
That’s why I just can’t watch this! As much as I get a kick out of stupid people doing stupid things it really angers me when children are involved. I absolutely HATE dumb women who expose their children to unnecessary dangers…
I agree. I feel terrible for Cheryl’s three sons…their role model will be a bank robber step-father. And if that relationship fails their mother has a thing for serial killers. And she thinks she’s going to live a glamorous life, as if bank robbers get to keep the money they steal!
I luh this show
I’ll be watching!! Anyone watching marrying millions??
Several of the men and women claim that over the years they have sent their inmate boyfriends/ girlfriends several thousands of dollars while they where in prison. From what I understand the inmate is allowed a certain amount of money per week or month for commissary. Where does all the other money go? Why does the prison allow that much money to be exchanged?
Holy shitballz. I’ve never watched this show but after reading the recap and comments I watched this episode on demand. Fuck y’all for making me instantly addicted to this trash LOL. (The FU is in jest. Please don’t come for me!) I guess I’ll be a regular viewer now because this is some entertainment on a whole ‘nother level! I Luh it! And guess I’ll have to binge other episodes now. ?
I feel like I’ve just gotten you hooked on the motherfuckin’ crack. 🙁
Lmao ? and yes I totally blame you and thank you simultaneously. I had to find a replacement for teen mom because I just can’t with them anymore. Btw, how the heck did Kail’s podcast being co-hosted with Lindsie Chrisley go unnoticed by me until I was today years old?! What is their connection? Are you withholding tea?
Darn it, we have our first secret. Lacey. Hopefully she will tell us before he gets back in, after getting out, lol. Cheryl did not say John Wayne GRACY, how can you love serial killers and not know their name,lol. I rewound it, Cheryl said John Wayne Gracy. This is going to be fun!
Its John Wayne Gacy.
Yes! And the friend shown was an actual clown just made it even creepier yet somehow funny to me and my sick humor. WTH?
OMG!! That was too much, lol. Gacy was Pogo the clown.
I laughed also, it just was over the top. I was busy rewinding i missed the clown ‘s name. I hope it wasn’t GOGO.
Damnit, TT. I just can’t quit this show. The poor children.
The glamorous life, the sex camera girl with 2 inmate boyfriends, the drug dealer girlfriend living with her prison wife’s mom.. what’s not to love?
Andrea’s eyes make me suspect there’s even more to her story..the jailbird is sending her money, paying her expenses? They were probably dating before he went to prison and she’s using the show to finally tell her family. Did you see the her sister is her manager? Manager of what, I wonder?
TT, this show is one of the realest I’ve seen. I can’t turn away from it and your recaps are not helping.
This is definitely my favorite new obsession, the level is stupidity is unreal, but the fact that most of these people have kids is sad. Bringing convicted felons around your children is next level stupidity. I’m rooting for the older lady and younger guy, LOL
This blizzard show deserves an Emmy award nomination!
*bizarre *
lol @ blizzard…accurate…