Ahoy Mates! This Below Deck Med recap will be brought to you by me, TT as the Dalai Mama had an unexpected personal emergency to deal with at the last minute. Light your Saint Guadalupe, or Saint Valentina candles for her if you got them.
Here is the thing, I watched this week’s episode a couple of hours ago and then deleted it. I usually wait until the recap is up before deleting the show, and for some reason tonight I mashed the wrong button, So I am going to sort of freeball this here recap.
We started with Joao and Travis diving ninety feet down to try to free the anchor that was caught on another anchor that had to be cut off and left behind. This episode was high anxiety. Will Joao and Travis survive the dive? Will Sandy get hoodlsh, moronic, faux riche fools to the safety of Saint Tropez or will they all be washed overboard? Can Captain Sandy pull a giant yacht into a slip that is only two meters wider than the boat? Will the drunk guy from from the boat next door deck the obnoxious female primary?
Captain Sandy’s Love For Joao Tripled This Week
Spoiler Alert! Everyone made it to Saint Tropez in the nick of time. No one was washed overboard. Joao is like a whole new person on this season and the deck crew is working together like a well-oiled machine. We got to see Joao kill things (lobsters) and save the day more than once a day. Who dis?
Jack continued to sleep, lick tongues with Aesha (Is that her name?) and be totally useless. June apparently has a hearing problem. Or as she says maybe she can’t understand her name. I know that sounds dumb. And she seems to have the IQ slightly above that of a nematoad. But Hannah does say June’s name really oddly. It sounds more like Jane. Still. She’s the only Jane/June on the boat. And She doesn’t respond to Captain Sandy either. I don’t think she will make it the entire episode. She brings nothing but irresponsibility and sad stories.
These charter guests are awful. As in you can’t take them anywhere awful. The odd situation with some former employer on the neighboring yacht was pretty ratchet. A simple, “Thanks for stopping by! It’s getting late and we are ready to turn in!” would have sufficed.
Anastasia’s meals were decent but not great this episode. I somehow missed that she was vegetarian until now. You don’t serve athletes, current or former, a vegetarian dinner. Or tiny portions. You give them a Tomahawk steak and a lobster. Also, I don’t recall seeing a carb anywhere. Nary a piece of bread was in sight. That caprese salad was probably delicious but way too small, especially for the guys. And it looked like lettuce not basil.
Anastasia Is Too Big For Her Britches
The fact that Anastasia was pissed that they compliment Captain Sandy’s incredible docking skills instead of her eggplant and ketchup dinner amazed me. And buffet style breakfast is not the way to go on this yacht. So, take their egg orders! Plate the rest for them! Perhaps pass around the fruit. But eggs, bacon, hash browns (and cheese grits if I’m a guest) go on the plate.
That said, I don’t believe these people have money or have eaten at many five start restaurants. I can’t imagine the horror that would occur if Johnny Damon sent back proteins for not being hot enough.So, I found them all to be annoying and classless.
They keep teasing the return of Ben but that didn’t happen this week as people had hoped. Not me. You people. I’m NOT a Ben fan. I think he will show up for the last charter or maybe two and the deaf girl will be sent packing and Anastasia will go back to being third stew.
Anyway, I am quite enjoying this season of Below Deck Med an no one annoys me to no end other than some of the guests.