ARGH. My setups for this RHONY Reunion recap have disappeared and I am having to start over at the last minute. Meanwhile tonight’s Big Brother episode has an endurance HOH that I want to watch at ten. Things aren’t looking good for getting this up in a timely fashion unless I keep this recap fairly short.
We begin this RHONY Reunion recap with Luann defending her 23 days of sobriety. But it is clear she is counting down the days until she can drink again. I think more than alcohol was probably involved in her bizarre behavior that led to her arrest. If she drinks after she gets off of probation, I don’t really care. Production catches us up on the details of her most recent court appearance.
You Don’t Touch The Fucking Morgan Letters!
Wow they are all over the place trying to fit in all the trips into one segment. I’m confused. It never fails about 9pm every night weird shit starts to happen in the ghetto. Someone was apparently wandering down the street in the dark and mumbling. This caused Banjo who was right at my feet jumps and and starts barking ferociously. As he should. But still, it scared the piss out of me!
Anyway this is all a whole lot of people talking over people. We move on to Sonja and her drinking. Bethenny admits that she went into Sonja’s purse to make she was not mixing drugs with alcohol. All she found was hormone pills. Ramona cries about her father excluding her from the will. While Dorinda is talking about how Bethenny and Ramona’s childhoods have impacted their lives, THE COUNTESS asks Andy what time it is. Like does she have some place she needs to be? Andy points out they are having a serious conversation. Oh she was supposed to blow at 7 pm and it is 7:45. That I can understand.
Bang Away On Barbara, Bang Away All Day. Who You Gonna Bang On When Barbara Goes Away?
I love Barbara. I hope she is treated well at her first reunion. That said, there is nothing wrong with the Goddamn fish room! Luann is really pissed that Barbara said she can’t sing. I mean, she’s not wrong. Luann claims she just got cast on Chicago on Broadway. Someone sent me a link to her talking about this recently and she has not actually signed and agreement. Also, she went on and on about how she is playing a very classy character. Um, housewives get the Mama Morton character AND THE SCENES TAKE PLACE IN JAIL! She is so full of shit. Luann says Barbara can shove that up her ass.
Barbara also points out that she has been to eight of her shows. Everyone agrees with Barbara. The singer is not stellar, but the performance is fun. Bethenny randomly wipes tanner off of Barbara. Leave Barbara alone! I hate that Barbara is getting heat. Dorinda is a huge bitch to her. She calls Barbara the turnip in the fruit basket. Barbara says she is sexually fluid. QUELLE HORREUR! You can tell Barbara is hurt. At least Bethenny gives her a kiss. The Luann does too. Then Sonja hugs her. Then Ramona does. So that’s good. Let’s move on. Then Andy kicks Barbara off the couch. Le sigh.
Next we talk about why Luann thinks the women are jealous of her. Luann can’t answer basic questions about the other women. She has not been interested in the other women’s lives. Luann doesn’t get it. This is just a lot of women screaming over each other. Andy is not moderating this conversation. Bethenny is. And I am grateful she is trying to restore order. But it is not working.
Then we talk about the fact that Bethenny had a death to deal with but Luann makes everything about her. Eventually, Luann kisses Bethenny’s ass.
Everyone talks about Luann and wanting to support her. Luann actually says,”I was wondering where my cheerleaders were. And they go to break.
Then they all have to toast with non-alcoholic mimosas. Isn’t that just OJ? They all struggle to decide what they regret from the season. Dorinda regrets not going to the clambake. Tinsley said it was her breakdown at the circus. Bethenny says saying that her daughter is the present after leaving Art Basel. It sounded like a dig and she didn’t attend it that way. Luann says making an obscene gesture to Bethenny.
And now, if you will excuse me, I have more important things to watch. Feel free to let me know the important details I missed. Sorry for phoning this one in. Big Brother is my absolute favortite show and it’s a big night .