It feels like I just wrote a Southern Charm Recap, and yet, here we are again. I’m not sure my body is ready. Especially because the bitch is back in this episode. Nevertheless, I shall persist.
We start at Meeting Street Inn. I had no idea that the Limehouses owned that property along with Indigo Inn and Jasmine house. I’ve stayed at Indigo Inn before. It wasn’t that great. Eliza is working the front desk. I seriously doubt Eliza actually works at the Inn. But let us try to suspend our disbelief. He mama arrives with food and lectures. Eliza announces that she was supposed to have a fox hunt at the plantation but there are concerns about the weather. I know they filmed a fox hunt later on in the season though.
This will be the first event at the plantation. Kathryn did not attend because she was at her brother’s wedding. Patricia was not in attendance either, she probably knew Ashley Jacobs was showing up via Whitney. Anyway Eliza’s mama is not happy that Eliza is dating some yankee who is fourteen years older than she is. She thinks she is looking for a father figure. That problem will resolve itself in due time.
Hair Of The Dog
The day after Cameran’s 35th birthday party, Cameran and Naomie go out to get pedicures. Cameran has a nice big glass of rosé to ward off her hangover. Apparently she didn’t have the energy to brush her hair. Naomie comes in with green juice looking fresh as a daisy but says she’s hungover as well. Cameran talks to Naomie about what Craig said about not having closure with her at the end of the relationship. Cameran says that Naomie might want to have a conversation with him to put a period on the relationship.
Meanwhile, Craig meets up with Shep and little Craig at the park. It’s dueling conversations about the relationship between Craig and Naomie.
Not My Kind Of Bar
Kathryn, Austen and Chelsea take a ballet class. Austen moans and groans the whole time. After the class, Chelsea asks how he is doing with coming home by 11pm every night. Then they talk about Eliza’s foxhunt turned skeet shooting party on the plantation. Clearly, they have all heard that Ashley might be making an appearance. It’s really not wise of Ashley to show up at a party where everyone hates her and is armed.
In the very next scene, Eliza is on the phone with Ashley. First they talk about Botox. Apparently, they use the same guy. Also, Thomas still gets Botox with her on some sort of bizarre Botox date. Ashley said that they have broken up because “the allegations” prohibit him from leaving the state. And that just makes it sooo hard. This is the dumbest excuse for a breakup ever. They live in the same city. Eliza does Aaron Rothman’s bidding and invite Ashley to plantation party.
Shep and Chelsea meet for drinks and nachos. They are going to talk to Naomie about going to Colorado. Shockingly, Naomie is honest about the real reason she is not going to Colorado. Metul doesn’t want her traveling overnight with Craig. He’s insecure. Cameran and Shep both point out that Metul sounds controlling. The Naomie tries to change her story. She got her pay docked and had other consequences for bailing on the trip.
Party on The Plantation!
The weather at the Limehouse Plantation is perfect. So I am wondering what the real reason why the foxhunt was postponed. Austen and Craig stop by Patricia’s house for breakfast with Whitney. She is nowhere to be seen but Michael has put out quite the spread.
The skeet shooting ensues and some are better than others. Austen was quite frustrated by his performance. It doesn’t look like Madison was invited to this shindig. Craig is shocked when Naomie comes up to him and asks if he want to talk. Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad idea? I am not interested in rehashing this dead relationship.
As everyone sits down for dinner, Cameran asks Eliza what time Ashley was going to be arriving. Eliza wondered who spilled the beans. No one is happy that she was invited. When Ashley walks up, Shep goes up to her and gives her a hug. Craig scatters. So does Austen. And Naomie. And Danni. Ashley stands in front of the bar and no one wants to go get drinks now. Whitney goes to get a drink for Naomie. He confronts Ashley for her harassment of Patricia. It doesn’t go well. Ashley takes no responsibility for her behavior.
Ashley goes over to a table where Danni is sitting with the owner of Gwynn’s, also named Madison. She hugs Danni. Who does that? Everyone hates you and you have been a shrew to everyone and you just walk up and give them a hug? Madison points out Ashley’s lack of remorse regarding her treatment Kathryn. Ashley says she never wanted to cause any pain. Yet she is still doing it. When that was pointed out to her, that she was still trashing Kathryn on social media, Ashley didn’t want to discuss it. She said the exact same thing to Whitney. Then Ashley tells Madison to just keep her mouth shut. She doesn’t want to talk about the past. Ashley was posting harassing things just the week before!
After getting frozen out of that table, Ashley tries again at a table with Chelsea, Cameran and Shep. Cameran and Chelsea ask her if she still lives there. She does. Cameran asks why Ashley tweeted that they were all losers. Ashley Jacobs tries to throw Patricia Altschul under the bus saying that Patricia used her as a pawn to attack Kathryn. I believe there is some truth to that.
Chelsea suggests if Ashley is there for Eliza then she should go sit with Eliza. Ashley again says she is trying to make peace so if she sees them around town it won’t be awkward. Chelsea says that Madison saw her around town and Ashley made a huge embarrassing scene and called her a bitch. Ashley says that is all rumors and speculation and they need to get Naomie over there to tell the truth.
Meanwhile, Eliza is wondering out loud if she needs to ask Ashley to leave. Suddenly Ashley finally realizes that no one wants her there. So she starts to cry and say she is sad to see where their friendships could have gone if things had been different. Those “things” are all Ashley being cunt to everyone. She’s clinically insane. She spent a year harassing someone that Thomas dated a had full of times over the course of a few weeks before dumping him. She psycho. And not just on social media. She called the girl’s job and caused her lots of problems.
When Austen says he doesn’t believe her crocodile tears, she goes back to her first response. Shut up! I’m not talking to you! She’s extremely emotionally unstable. When Naomie suggests that they just clear the air, Ashley says that is was she was trying to do when she called Naomie a bitch in a restaurant in front of all her friends. Her intentions were good. No. No they were not. Ashley is not capable of good intentions.
Next week’s Southern Charm Recap Highlights include: Beating the fake storyline about Whitney and Kathryn hooking up to death for the millionth time. Then everyone except Naomie heads to Colorado. Cameran invited Madison on the trip. Austen and Madison seem to instantly get back together. Whitney doesn’t want to ride on a bus. Everyone beats on up Craig again.