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You are here: Home / Southern Charm / Southern Charm Recap: Dick Moves And Dick Pics

Southern Charm Recap: Dick Moves And Dick Pics

June 26, 2019 by tamaratattles 46 Comments

Southern Charm RecapI forgot to pull photos for this Southern Charm Recap so I haven’t watched any of the previews from the episode. Based solely on the title, I predict this episode is going to suck donkey balls.

On the RV trip from hell, the guys wake up to a campsite strewn with booze bottles and regrets. I didn’t realize it was an eight and a half hour drive from Charleston to Nashville. Are they going to fly back? I don’t think they can stand seventeen hours in an RV together.

Danni is going to check into getting her eggs frozen. Chelsea goes with her. Chelsea is not sure if she even wants kids and is just along for ride. Neither of them can identify the uterus on the reproductive chart. WTF? So the news that you have to give yourself hormone shots for two weeks blindsided them both. Then they had sticker shock over the price.

Who manspreads in a nice restaurant? ZERO CLASS.

Dick Moves

The boys finally arrive in Nashvillle. Bravo hooked them up with a presidential suite. Shep and Austen immediately talk about bring girls from the bar back to the room. Madison sends Austen a hot selfie of herself getting ready to go out on the town in Charleston. It’s messing with his head. Shep actually bathes and shaves before going out on the prowl.

The foursome goes to a nice restaurant first. Whitney and Shep immediately start ragging on Craig again over the wine selection. Then Whitney pretends like he is picking up the tab. Bravo is picking up the tab. Why do Shep and Whitney try so hard to look like douchebags on this show? Do they just no know they look like asshats or do they just not care? Craig read online that Kathryn is filing for full custody of the children. She didn’t mention it to any of them. Craig asks Whitney how Kathryn was acting over the summer when they hooked up. Whitney denies the hookup. For once I believe Whitney. Heck, he goes back to WeHo as soon as filming is over.

For More Southern Charm Recaps And Spoilers Click Here! 

Is this entire episode going to be all about Whitney and Shep and their dickish behavior? Is Shep hooking up with Whitney? Why are those two such a united front lately? When Craig and Austen take their wine to the balcony to drink their wine in peace, Shep talks about them not having any class. Shep is the most uncouth person on the show. Maybe even on all of Bravo! Whitney says that Craig has a sense of entitlement. These two are textbook cases of projection.

Later, at the bar, all Austen can talk about is Madison.

Southern Charm RecapChick Moves

Since the male cast member are all in jail or giant pieces of crap (except for Craig), Patrica is going to have a dinner party which I am sure will turn into and etiquette class.

I usually hate Naomie scenes. But they are a welcome relief this week. Even better, Chelsea goes over to Kathryn’s to talk about Danni. Chelsea is trying to encourage Kathryn to mend fences with Danni.

Patricia has purchased a set of artichoke dishes. So the girls dinner party is artichoke themed. But first, Madison has an issue with Danni. She blames Danni for introducing the random IG comment one of Madison’s clients sent to Danni’s new boyfriend. This is what started all the drama for this season.

Southern Charm RecapChicks With Dick Pics

Kathryn is the last to arrive because the girls all need to discuss the politician she is dating. Apparently there is a lot of weird stuff on the Internet about him. Apparently dick pics are part of what is circulating around the Internet. Madison looks at one and says his penis looks like a Ken doll. I presume she means it is nonexistent. The pictures or bathroom selfies. Patricia puts on her reading glasses for close inspection. Then it’s Kathryn’s call time. She arrives to tell the girls that she has broken up with her dickless boyfriend. Shocker. She says she understands now why the girls were so concerned about her.

For More Southern Charm Recaps And Spoilers Click Here! 

Kathryn pulls Danni aside to talk to her privately. I am finally noticing how bad Kathryn’s hair is this season. Y’all talk about it every week, but when I recap I am generally looking at the laptop more than the TV. Danni tells Kathryn that her behavior hurt her. She only had Kathryn’s best interest at heart. I’m still waiting for Kathryn to apologize. Finally, she blurts out a short one.

Okee Dokee Artichokee

The first course at dinner is an artichoke. And tequila shots. Patricia pretends like this was the first shot she has ever done. I don’t believe that any more than when LVP said she funneled beer for the first time on Vanderpump Rules. It’s just this week’s fake storyline just like last week’s fake McDonalds scene.

CLICK HER FOR EXCLUSIVE SOUTHERN CHARM SEASON SIX SPOILERS 

When they begin to talk about the guys, Madison brings up that Shep called her white trash. Cameran tries to defend him. She says to her Shep is suppressing a lot of anger. I don’t think Cameran knows what suppressing means. Shep is a mean person who says horrible things to people. Even people he considers friends. Madison says maybe he is still angry that she rejected him when he hit on her and she was married. Yep, I think we all that coming. Then we get back to the fake Whitney and Kathryn storyline.

Southern Charm RecapShep’s next asshole move is to buy a french bulldog and name it Craig. He thinks this is hilarious. I think Shep’s obsession with Craig borderlines on psychotic. I buys five hundred dollars worth of dog supplies.

Kathryn, Craig and Austen meet for hot toddies and ice cream. The guys tell Kathryn about how Shep and Whitney acted on the trip. Austen admits he was with Madison the night before. Apparently, he went right back to her when the guys trip ended. Craig seems personally offended by this. What’s it to you Craig?  Mind your business! Austen blames Craig and Shep for breaking up their relationship. He’s not wrong.

For More Southern Charm Recaps And Spoilers Click Here! 

On the next Southern Charm Recap, Kathryn and Naomie visit a hypnotist. Chelsea counsels Austen to stay away from people who just want to hang out in bars. Cameran has a birthday party and there is a lot of drinking. Craig and Austen fight when Austen follows Chelsea’s advice and goes home from the bar with Craig at a reasonable hour.

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Filed Under: Southern Charm Tagged With: Anna Heyward, Ashley Jacobs, Austen Kroll, Bravo, Cameran Eubanks, Chelsea Meissner, Craig Conover, Danni Baird, Eliza Limehouse, Entertainment News, Hunter Price, Kathryn Calhoun Dennis, Madison LeCroy, Metul Shah, Naomie Olindo, Nick Dana, Patricia Altschul, Shep Rose, Southern Charm, Thomas Ravenel, Whitney Sudler-Smith

About tamaratattles

Come for the tea. Stay for the shade. Not for the easily offended. You're a special snowflake just like everyone else.

Comments

  1. Gracemom says

    June 26, 2019 at 11:32 pm

    Sounds boring. I think I will continue to skip this season.

    Reply
  2. marc says

    June 26, 2019 at 11:44 pm

    I did not get to see this episode yet. Prefer to read your recap then dive in. The artichoke dishes sounds like the highlight of this episode. Hate all the men except Craig. Madison & the newest cast member make me gag. So I guess it’s going to be an episode I skip. Thanks dear.

    Reply
  3. Claire says

    June 26, 2019 at 11:56 pm

    For the first time ever, I’m 2 weeks behind on this show. It’s been a dull season so far. Without the staged “Ashley” scenes peppered into upcoming episodes, I don’t think much is going to happen this season. Snooze.

    Reply
  4. LBD says

    June 27, 2019 at 12:21 am

    You know it is bad when I choose the debates over Southern Charm!! Bad season….

    Reply
  5. Hihokermit says

    June 27, 2019 at 12:50 am

    Steamed artichokes! I forgot how much I enjoyed them.

    Reply
    • Looloo says

      June 27, 2019 at 2:57 pm

      Yeah but aioli dip??? Yuck..just butter and lemon.

      Reply
      • Laila says

        June 27, 2019 at 11:16 pm

        Or, olive oil, garlic and salt, steamed in water. I also stuff them with breadcrumbs, garlic, parsley, grated cheese.. delicious.

        Patricia is wrong about just eating the tip (haha, get your minds out of the gutter). The leaves on the outside is just the tip, the middle leaves are mostly edible in the middle too.

        Reply
  6. therealdeb says

    June 27, 2019 at 1:29 am

    I’m on the west coast and have direct tv so I watch it at 6pm, but I dvrd it and watched the debates and then watched southern charm. Still had time to catch Dateline at 10pm. I used to really like Shep, he had this “boyish aww shucks” charm to him. Now he’s a shithead. Whitney has always been a dick, a creepy one at that. Ya know what bugs me about when any of the bravo shows go camping? ITS ALWAYS FOR ONE FUCKING NIGHT! Like for real. You don’t camp for one night, that’s no fun. I really love Chelsea, I really do. I really want good things for Kathryn, I hope she keeps her head on straight for the kids sake and her own.

    Reply
    • skye says

      June 27, 2019 at 10:21 am

      I cannot stomach Shep. He is filthy looking and disgusting. Who the hell does he think he is? A grown man walking around being critical of everyone when they all have more class than he does in their little finger EVEN THOMAS. (that was hard) Him purchasing a dog, and appro. $500. worth of crap for the dog and naming it Craig is sick.
      Hard to get over these grown men acting like children in this real world. If Austin is in love with the girl it’s his
      own damn business and no one else. Who goes around squealing who they’ve fucked? Who goes camping with a shit load of camping supplies for one night? Who can’t open the door of a motorhome? Who can’t open the door of a bathroom in a motorhome? These are not men. Why didn’t their dad teach them anything? Totally pathetic the whole bunch…..girls included. Will not watch another episode. But I will come read the comments just to see what happens to the poor children that are caught up having two sick parents.
      I’ve had it.

      Reply
  7. JBT says

    June 27, 2019 at 6:29 am

    This show was my favorite reality show. Now, it is a total snoozefest.

    Reply
  8. Victoria says

    June 27, 2019 at 6:32 am

    I feel bad for that dog.

    Reply
    • jennyjennybobinny says

      June 27, 2019 at 11:12 am

      right? I am sure Charleston has pet-friendly restuarants and I sure hope they have pet-friendly bars…I am just thinking about how much alone time that poor baby might have. What a bastard. this has really pushed my hate buttons.

      Reply
      • Zalo says

        June 27, 2019 at 1:31 pm

        Saw Shep at Mex 1 on Sullivan’s Island, which I think is one of his hangouts a couple of weeks ago and he had Craig the dog with him. Cute puppy.

        Reply
        • jennyjennybobinny says

          June 27, 2019 at 3:56 pm

          Thank Zalo! that does make me feel better…did he really call him “Craig” I like LC (for lil craig) much better. His Mother has already warned him she cannot take another of his “failed dog tries”….I feel like this is a chick magnet thing since he is ageing out (mainly because he lacks personal hygeine). There is a point where you go from being just a douche to being a mean-ass bastard. For me, only his kindness to Kathryn ( and friendship with Cameron) has kept me from re-defining him. I am glad Craig and even Austen are getting sick of his ego.

          Reply
    • MeMegan says

      June 27, 2019 at 4:09 pm

      I don’t even know what reputable breeder would have sold it to him

      Reply
    • Mark says

      June 27, 2019 at 9:43 pm

      Buying that dog is really cruel. I have a Frenchie, and although they don’t need a ton of exercise (mine is a lazy fat shit. I took him for a walk at 6am the other day and he looked at me like I was abusing him… 🤣) they are bred to be companion dogs and need a LOT of attention, and cuddles, and snuggles, and owner time. they can ACTUALLY get depressed. Makes me sad to think of a lil’ depressed Batman meatball. 😭😭😭

      Reply
  9. EnglishRose says

    June 27, 2019 at 7:47 am

    I thought I was being ultra picky by hating Kathryn’s hair this season. Dark auburn, or whatever it is, is way too harsh for her delicate features and makes her look washed out. Doesn’t it also seem as though she’s wearing clothes that kind of hide her figure? She still manages to look very striking though.

    I believe, deep down, she’s freaking out over the possibility of Thomas going to jail. That would definitely affect her financially. I don’t know, there’s just something very off about her this year. She seems subdued, almost depressed, with hardly any of the Kathryn zingers we’re used to from her. I want to have our confident Kathryn back.

    I think you’re absolutely correct when you said that Craig was projecting his own feelings when it comes to Austin and Madison. I wonder how long it will take for him to get over Naomie? He seems overly invested in the outcome of someone else’s relationship. Kind of strange, actually.

    Reply
  10. BT says

    June 27, 2019 at 8:28 am

    Craig needs the cat back Naomi lol. The guy is the laziest, know it all arse and annoying to boot.
    Shep is the perpetual child and will never grow up. Marriage will never be in his future. God help that dog.

    Whitney is too old to hanging with this lot.
    Austen quit talking to the guys about your love life and then you won’t have to stress over it.
    Kathryn, never cared for her and never will. She is never full “present” if you ask me.

    Reply
    • teripope says

      June 27, 2019 at 6:26 pm

      I’m with you BT! Can’t stomach Kathryn

      Reply
  11. Cindy says

    June 27, 2019 at 3:20 pm

    These comments are so spot on. Shep picking at Craig is the same ole boring stuff. If I was his mom, I’d be so embarrassed in how he turned out. I too feel bad for the dog. Although I’m team Kathryn, she comes across as so self absorbed. Naomie’s flat voice is annoying and she doesn’t add anything to the show.It seems like this whole season all the cast members are doing is just chasing their tail, going around in circles. I wished I hadn’t tuned in, but there was nothing else on. I’m not making that mistake next week!

    Reply
  12. jennyjennybobinny says

    June 27, 2019 at 3:58 pm

    Having driven the Charleston to Nashville route at least once a year I feel like 8.5 hours, especially in a RV, is optomistic….

    Reply
  13. thill says

    June 27, 2019 at 4:04 pm

    Kathryn always looks so pretty when she has professional photos taken of her. Doesn’t she notice the difference in how a professional styles her hair and the clothes she poses in? I don’t think she’d need a glam squad to do a much better job with her hair. Shame.

    Shep always makes me want to wash my hands or take a shower. He is so unkempt and dirty looking. And I can only imagine the STDs that must be percolating in his body. To go to bed with as many women as possible is not something to be proud of. And I couldn’t believe he named that dog Craig. What a childish move.

    Austen and Craig are just lost causes. No real effort to develop careers. They will end up broaching middle age with nothing to show for their lives. I hope they are saving every penny they get for this show. But it can’t be all that much.

    I enjoy Ms Patricia but her scenes are so forced — the interaction with the butler and the dinner party were so awkward and fake.

    Not a fun show anymore.

    Reply
    • Fizz says

      June 27, 2019 at 4:29 pm

      Why in the world was Dani apologizing to Madison? That’s the last thing in the world I’d be doing if I were in her shoes.

      Reply
      • KayConfused says

        June 27, 2019 at 6:09 pm

        I know, right?! Madison being mad at Dani to begin with, blows my mind. I’m sorry but the client or friend that messaged Dani’s boyfriend, did so with Madison’s permission (IMO). Who would do that without consent?! In the event client didn’t have permission then the only person Madison had cause to be mad with was the client. Even in this case if someone was going to apologise it should have been Madison to Dani. Or that’s just how I see it. I would absolutely feel annoyed/uncomfortable and talk to my friend if a friends girlfriend was hitting on my boyfriend. Madison is seeming like she’s got a bit of an entitlement issue. I wonder though if she’s just getting a really terrible edit. Something seems really off about her and can’t tell what it is but it’s pinging a few red flags.

        Reply
  14. KarenK says

    June 27, 2019 at 4:04 pm

    Is Madison wearing a WRAP DRESS Ramona?

    Reply
    • Elizabeth Epright says

      June 27, 2019 at 5:04 pm

      Most of the commentators on this site agree that Shep’s disheveled appearance and superior attitude are irritating. I am also disappointed with Craig this season. He went from being a good looking, pleasant guy to being an unkempt, seemingly lazy, difficult individual. His current “look” with long hair, beard and mustache is a real turn-off. The eye makeup is over the top. I can’t imagine his pillow “business “ will ever be successful –
      he’s too lazy. Maybe he will get it together soon. Otherwise, Hope he’s investing those Bravo checks wisely.

      Reply
      • Nanette says

        June 27, 2019 at 10:25 pm

        Tamara has posted more than once that Craig has invested his earnings in real estate and is doing well. Not spending $500 on accessories for a dog that likely is a gal-magnet accessory.

        Reply
  15. MeMegan says

    June 27, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    Ugh I wish he would not buy a frenchie. They are so much work and these people can’t even take care of themselves

    Reply
    • KathyD says

      June 28, 2019 at 2:36 pm

      I was hoping Shep would adopt a rescue. A lab mix, preferably. Frenchies are the “cool” dog now, but the ones I met have complex behaviors.

      Reply
  16. JoJoFLL says

    June 27, 2019 at 6:59 pm

    I thought Eliza and Madison were full cast members this year and they’ve only appeared in a couple of episodes?

    Is Haymaker doing some mid season editing?

    Maybe they’ve edited out Ashley since they seem to be going in another direction?

    This season is all over the place.

    Shep is acting like a dick and I don’t really think he is. I would agree that I could see Whitney and Shep hooking up before I could ever see Whitney and Katheryn.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      June 27, 2019 at 7:56 pm

      If you don’t think Shep is a dick, your thinker is broken. He’s a dick. Allegations exist.

      Reply
      • LBD says

        June 28, 2019 at 12:16 am

        T RAV JR

        Reply
  17. SD says

    June 27, 2019 at 9:09 pm

    Can we have a show with just Cameran and Chelsea? Those are the only two I like.

    I used to like Shep a few seasons ago, but no more. Now he is just mean. When he and Whitney said they’d “earned” the nice bottle of wine . . . .. . You haven’t earned anything. And naming the dog Craig? He is obsessed.

    I’ve been a Craig fan in the past, but this season he seems so lazy. Wonder if that is a bad edit.

    Reply
    • Shari says

      June 27, 2019 at 10:37 pm

      This season? Craig, who lost his job in a law office because he was out drinking late at light and didn’t get up and go to work? Craig, who couldn’t study for the bar, because he hadn’t written his thesis paper and spent a couple of seasons lying about it and doing nothing about it. Craig, who couldn’t make one pillow for Patricia in two months? Craig, whose girlfriend was having conniption fits for an entire season because when she came home every day, he’d done nothing? That Craig?

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        June 28, 2019 at 7:01 pm

        You need to learn to differentiate story line from real life.

        Reply
  18. Snowgator says

    June 27, 2019 at 9:49 pm

    I agree this season is really boring. Shep is so nasty, Craig is looking lazy and I’m not sure what to make of Austin and Madison. I really like Cameran, Chelsea and Danni but they have no story line. I barely want to go to my own doctor’s appointments much less accompanying someone else on theirs!! Cameran has always struggled to find anything interesting and it seems like Chelsea is the same. But the absolute worse has to be Naomi and her boyfriend. I really think all of the cast members have charisma and I’m sure Naomi is a nice person but her scenes are just so painfully boring to watch! Maybe they should have more scenes with Patricia, she seems to be the only one bringing it this season!! Love her!!

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      June 28, 2019 at 12:03 am

      I was not even going to put this bullshit through. You really believe the staged scenes by the producers mother? She gets to be the Queen Bee because of Whitney. Were her son not being a producer… you would see the real Patricia.

      Reply
      • Wolfie says

        June 28, 2019 at 2:16 am

        Hi all – I thought I’d comment, finally, as I am a huge fan of SC and these recaps. I am still totally behind this show. Yes, I did wonder if they would survive without TRav, but he really disappeared last season anyway. He acted way too weird with Ashley. With this show, there usually is not any drama, until there suddenly is. So I’m not disappointed thus far, it feels like any other season at this point. I do feel like there is a lot of “effort” on behalf of the cast to drum something up, but this is what they get paid to do. Kathryn, yes she’s a weird one but she is in an incredibly tough sitcho in “reality”. Craig, I love him. Sloppy, but he seems to progress in life okay. I certainly did not pass the bar. Naomi seems desperate. Shep has lost my support and I really hope that dog does not end up dead. Austen is my fave, he’s not ingrained enough nor have the resources to fall apart. He will be ok. Whitney – he’s a mystery. Finally, I live Chelsea. Gotta love her when she said at the dinner “Pat, you’re a trip”. None of the other girls have that kind of natural self confidence. Anyway – boy this was long. I still love this show and will until it’s bitter end.

        Reply
      • nuttinwrong withit says

        June 28, 2019 at 8:10 am

        agree with TT . am I the only one who thinks the patricia scenes are a way for whitney to showcase whitney’s sugarbear, Michael? pat and michael always appear together

        Reply
      • Nanette says

        June 28, 2019 at 12:56 pm

        I must be confused because I THOUGHT you said Whitney’s title was like a vanity title and he had no sway. Maybe just enough to get “McDonald’s no tomato Mom” onscreen with a judicious edit? And why is Whitney back onscreen more? Breakup with a Euroboy? What’s up in the mansion? Do you have any tea on Butler Michael?

        Reply
        • tamaratattles says

          June 28, 2019 at 4:25 pm

          Whitney was a part of the original creation of the show. So he has some sway if he wants to whisper in someone’s ear. He also gets his own room on most of the trips and a few little producer perks. He has no decision making ability when it comes to storylines because he is on the show. But as someone who was a part of creating the series, he knows the producers well. He can ask for favors for his mom and because production knows and likes him and the favor doesn’t include his personal storyline (which is minimal anyway) they would probably do him a favor.

          Reply
          • Nanette says

            June 28, 2019 at 7:10 pm

            Thanks for clarifying. So he has some sway but not enough to get them to not air the “He left his glasses on!,” which may be my favorite line of this season!

            Reply
            • tamaratattles says

              June 28, 2019 at 7:28 pm

              You do get that Whitney is gay, right? Nothing happened with Kathryn.

  19. KathyD says

    June 28, 2019 at 2:49 pm

    Finally got through the episode. Baffled, completely, by Kathryn’s clothing and hair choices. The tassels on her dinner gown were moving so much they made her look more rattled. The hair is too unkempt. I wonder if Whitney dictates her wardrobe. She seems to be portrayed as a bombshell. I continue to be surprised by her use of dirty language. Mind you, I swear. But, example, when she said “being humble AF”, I thought, why the AF part?
    Show feels so staged now.
    I was amused that the men did not film in any real honky-tonks in Nashville. I suspect filming was not allowed. I could go for a cheeseburger and breakfast beer in Robert’s right now.

    Reply
  20. Jill says

    July 1, 2019 at 4:27 pm

    I think Naomi’s new boyfriend metul is kind of a tool. In the first scene where they are working out together in the first episode, he’s being really condescending to her even though she’s trying really hard. Apparently he banned her from going to any events or locations where Craig is. And then in this episode he basically tells her she can’t cook no matter how hard she tried to make Indian food for him. He comes off as a tool. And he’s made her totally boring. I feel like she used to not be totally boring.

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      July 1, 2019 at 4:45 pm

      Metul is a tool. And yes, I exclusively report the news about him not wanting Naomie going on the trip with Craig in January.

      https://tamaratattles.com/2019/01/21/exclusive-southern-charm-season-six-filming-spoilers-part-2-of-4/

      Next week Cameron is going to tell Craig that Naomie isn’t going on the trip because she doesn’t want to be around him. That is a lie. She’s not going because Metul would not ALLOW her too. This caused all sorts of problems for Naomie with production that I over in the post I linked apove.

      Reply

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