I’m going to try to knock out a quick Love After Lockup Recap amongst the chaos here in the ghetto tonight. I have had construction next door since the butt crack of dawn. They are still there sawing. And apparently putting in hardwood floors. There are at least eight guys very loudly pounding at random intervals. This morning there were four guys with leaf blowers randomly blowing shit. Then my lawn couple came about an hour ago to join in the cacophony. They just left. But the sawing and pounding continues. Sigh.
Michael & Sarah & Megan
It’s time for Michael’s jail release. Again. And this time his wife, his girlfriend, his mama and his sister are all there. What could possibly go wrong? Oh joy we are getting a thunder storm in in the ghetto. Hopefully this will stop the outdoor sawing for a few minutes.
Mama is laying down the rules. The sister is pissed off that Megan is there. Megan claims Michael asked her to be there when he got out. In order to avoid “a predicament” Mama insists that Megan and the sister can’t be together at the same time.
Michael strolls out of jail with his ankle monitor that he must wear for the next 90 days. He seems kind of unclear on when he is supposed to be in the house and where he is allowed to go. The sisters name is Dayday. Sigh. Michael is trying to explain to us who he luhs this week. It seems he went with the one he hasn’t knocked up yet. Megan is starting to think that Michael might be lying to her. Ya think? Especially when he tells her over sandwiches that she paid for that he plans to divorce Megan.
Dayday texted Sarah to let her know that Michael is with Megan. Sarah is out shopping. Where is her kid? Why isn’t she with Michael? Meanwhile, Megan has something she needs to tell Michael. I presume she is pregnant. How long was he in jail for this time? After his lunch with Megan, Michael goes home to his mama and sister. Then he calls Sarah who completely calls him out. Then she hangs up on him. She rants all the way back to the car and somehow they are on facetime again. Michael says, “Look we ain’t gotta beef. Do you want a divorce or not?
Andrea & Lamar
Oh Lord. I had forgotten all about Andrea and Lamar. He’s been back to jail too? How does Andrea have two such normal kids? Wait the girl child was going to change her name to match Lamar’s? How long did Nyla live with Lamar? I have so many questions. Meanwhile Andrea is having a breakdown in the produce section of some bizarre supermarket. I feel, you Andrea. I have some of my most spectacular breakdowns in supermarkets.
When Lamar gets out of jail, the first thing he wants to know is where his car is. When he found out that Andrea sold it while he was in jail, they have their first fight. Then they get home and his car is washed and waiting for me.
Clint & Tracie
These two really need to be sterilized. That may be all I can muster to say about these two. Apparently, Clint’s mommy and daddy won’t let Tracie on their property. So Tracie is left standing on the curb while Clint goes in to try to convince his mommy to get along with Tracie. It didn’t go well. Mama is through with Tracie.
Marcelino & Brittany
Marcelino intends to support his family by playing poker. That’s a splendid idea. At least they are buying a house. Marcelino’s mom came by and picked up the kids. Marcelino slept in because he was in the casinos all night. Britanny busies herself making a full break that includes a dozen eggs. Is she feeding production? There is enough breakfast food cooking for six or eight people! Marcelino still doesn’t want Brittany hanging out with her felon friends. She still wants to.
Scott & Lizzie
There are too many people on this season. Lizzie is discussing what outfits make her boobs look best via facetime with her daughter. I find this way worse than Todd Tucker taking his oldest daughter to the strip club this week. Speaking of worse, the rain has stopped and the workers are still there. The new sound is a very loud drill, followed by rhythmic pounding. I should point out that I am inside my house and they are inside the house next door. Why does it sound like they are in my living room? Also, it’s 8:30 p.m.
With Lizzie finally finding a short skirt, high heels and a sparkly tank top that doesn’t cover her bra let alone her breast, the girl is back on the prowl. While she is seated at a bartop in the middle of the bar she decides her boobs, legs and chuckalina all need a dosing of cheap body spray. I keep wondering why the people at the bar are not running outside to breathe clean air. Her date Noah arrives and he looks sort of normal. Lizzie tells Scott that she can’t drink because she is an addict who was on heroin during her ten years in prison. Charming. Noah wants to split the bill. But mostly Noah just wants to split.
Across town, Scott has a blind date of his own. She too seems very normal. How is that possible? They had to come from central casting, right? Scott’s first conversation with the lovely lady was “My last girlfriend was a heroin addict I met through letters when she was in prison. She fleeced me for $142,000.” I’m not sure that was really the way to go. Speaking of go, Alexis also made a hasty retreat.
So that’s it for this Love After Lockup Recap. It’e 9:15 pm and dark. The thumping and banging continue.