Tonight is the roughest night of the for recaps. A Southern Charm recap followed by RHONY recap right behind it is a lot. Also, I have deliberating if I needed to go to urgent care today. I opted against it mainly because I can’t explain what is wrong. I don’t think “I feel really weird” is a good enough starting place for them to know that to do. So instead, I shall do my best to get through this Southern Charm recap in repetitively quick fashion. It looks like RHONY is going to be doozey tonight so hopefully Southern Charm will be an easy one.
Oh I didn’t realize that the treehouses the girls are staying at were on Wadmalaw Island. There have to be alot of bugs and critters there. After the very tense dinner we saw last week, Danni and Kathryn sit by the campfire to talk things out over S’mores. Danni tries to explain that Kathryn is hurting her feelings. Kathryn doesn’t seem care. Kathryn is all about Kathryn. These two go home to Charleston in a tiff.
[Insert obligatory scene where Cameran whines about being a mom]
Boys Will Be Boys
Craig sleeps in late while his new assistant does all the work on his pillows.
Austen goes golfing with his dad. He admits to his dad that he sabotages his relationships. Austen’s parents have seen the video of his three way on social media.
I’m not a big fan of Patricia’s. So when I get excited for her scenes, that says a lot about the rest of this show. Madison is Patricia’s latest protege. Apparently, she is going to counsel Madison on her relationship, or lack thereof, with Austen. She pretends like she doesn’t know what revenge sex is. I am tired of the Austen and Madison storyline.
Shep has drinks with Craig. The purpose of the bro-date is to trash Madison. Again. Because, this is the misogyny channel. They decide to take the misogyny on the road with a guys RV trip.
When It Rains It Pours
Chesea takes her golf cart to Naomie’s house but gets caught in a downpour. So they chat on the porch of Naomie’s house. Craig is having a “pillow party.” Naomie is not going because her boyfriend won’t let her. Austen is going to be there. Chelsea wants to confront him about the screenshots Madison sent her where he trash talked her. This is a timely topic as I was sent some screenshots of my own today. You just never know who is talking behind your back these days. Naomie apparently has a 12 year old vandal living in her neighborhood who likes to scream and egg her house.
I’m not sure we have ever met Danni’s mom before. But Danni and her mom go out for a glass of tea and some conversation. Danni’s mom wants her to freeze her eggs. Danni is about to turn 35.
Kathryn goes to
film a scene meet Craig at a fabric store. I am not knocking Haymaker for this promotion. They need all the money they can get. The profit margins for this show are very small. And I think it’s the only show they have. Anyway, Kathryn is pretty hysterical from the moment she arrives. She’s struggling to deal with Thomas’ arrest. And he is also being a dick about the custody case. It a lot to have going on all at once. She’s terrified she is going to have to explain to her kids why their father went to jail.
It’s time for Craig’s pillow party and he is napping in his room while his assistant and his roommate set up for it. And by napping, I mean passed out. He barely has time to shower and throw on some guyliner before his guests arrive. The guests are not feeling the guyliner. Production has been strongly hinting about some rumors about Craig in this episode. Will the do the same with Metul? Because Naomie has a type.
I hate seeing Shep in a UGA shirt. Can we get an alumni vote to ban him from wearing them? Shep, Cameran and Whitney start trashing Craig behind his back. Cameran doesn’t think he actually makes his pillows. Thankfully, Patricia shows up to break up this gossiping trio. Production makes it clear that Kathryn’s arrive is an hour and fifteen minutes late. Or, you know, the time that she had on her call sheet.
Chelsea and Austen magically appear alone together on the patio. Chelsea confronts him about his disparaging comments about her. He blames it on being drunk and acts like it is no big deal. Sort of the same lack of ownership I got in my situation today. Eventually, he admits he is embarrassed (that he got caught) and manages to eek out a fairly decent apology. Chelsea forgives him with the stipulation that he stop trash talking her boyfriend.
The next confrontation on the schedule is Kathryn and Danni. Kathryn is pissed to see Chelsea and Danni having a private conversation. She kind of throws a fit without even knowing what is going on. Danni tries to talk to Kathryn but Kathryn is being a little bitch. Danni leaves pissed off. Kathryn is left with the misogynist asshole that is Shep. She too, has a type.
Danni is outside crying. She left her keys in the house. Production plays a montage of what a great friend Danni is. Chelsea goes in to get Danni’s keys and tries to get Kathryn to talk to her. Kathryn refuses. Even Shep thinks Kathryn is acting like a child.
Next week: Cameran interviews nannies, Kathryn’s sleazeball politician comes to town (as if Charleston needed any more of those) and the guys head to Nashville in an RV for a guys trip.