Onward and upward to tonight’s RHONY recap. I think it will be a lot more dramatic than the Southern Charm recap I just finished.
So, it’s the morning of day three of the RHONY Miami trip. And it has been a very eventful three days. An ambulance was called for Sonja, Ramona appears to be screwing Mario again, Tinsley’s always crying and Luann’s ego knows no bounds. That’s been a lot for Bethenny, Barbara and Dorinda to cope with. Everyone is either still drunk or hungover except for Barbara. And maybe Luann.
Bethenny talks to Tinsley in bed about Sonja’s drinking. Sonja stomped the top of glass table on the patio the previous evening. It was almost two nights in a row of having to call an ambulance. Bethenny wants to share her concerns with Sonja regarding her drinking.
An AA Meeting With The Countess At High Noon
Bethenny finds Sonja in the bed with Ramona. I don’t feel like this needs to be a group talk. When Luann wanders in to the scene I have no hope for this going anywhere. Bethenny is great at interventions. Luann is great at being condescending and lacking compassion. Somehow Sonja agrees to go to an AA meeting with the Luann.
Tinsley met a guy at the party the night before name Brett. I think Bethenny may have introduced them. As Tinsley and Bethenny are discussing him, Ramona walks in asking about the same guy. This has to be staged. These women can’t all be sharing the same half a dozen dicks. When Ramona tries to horn in on Brett, Tinsley pulls up the TMZ story about Ramona making out with Harry Dubin. There is a photo of them sucking face recently. Like REALLY sucking face.
Odd (Wo)man Out
I hate how Barbara is ostracized from everything. Ramona and sadly Bethenny come for Barbara when she tells the group she feels left out. Ramona starts screaming at Barbara for having a negative energy. That’s some major projection there. I can’t believe Bethenny is on the wrong side of this discussion. They make Barbara cry. She feels like she is not wanted and offers to just go home. Bethenny’s compassion toward Barbara doesn’t extend very far. But she’s the only one who even gave a tiny bit of sympathy to her.
Despite the fact that they are staying in an amazing villa with a gorgeous pool, they all pile in the car to go to a fancy hotel pool for lunch. Sonja and Luann get out of their meeting and head to the pool. On the car ride there, you can tell that the meeting really made Sonja depressed. I think Sonja is a lot like me. Everyone else’s sad stories resonate and bring me down. And frankly, they never stop coming. I’m in the middle of several stressful events and I cannot be the therapist for everyone else. Luann on the other hand apparently views her AA meetings as a performance with a captive crowd.
Sonja is in a bad way. It’s raining. She just had to spend an hour with Lu in AA. The cabana is wet and sandy. She’s having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. This whole outing seems miserable. Sonja starts sobbing and wants to go back to the hotel. Only Bethenny seems to get that something triggered her at the meeting. Sonja cries and admits that the meeting was hard for her. She’s feeling alone. She’s worried about raising her daughter without a father. Everyone is being sweet to her, Bethenny gets their lunch order to go. Luann is oblivious to the entire situation and just wants someone to go swimming with her. Everyone goes back to the house except for Luann. She goes for a swim.
Look At Me!
After her peaceful swim time on the beach, Luann heads over to The Fillmore to see her poster for her cabaret show. I recall her posting about that show a lot on social media. So while much of this truffle fries and cabaret posters episode was heavily produced. I think most of the Luann stuff is really Luann being Luann. Back at the house, the girls are suddenly nice to Barbara.
When Luann comes back to the house, she has another blow up with Sonja. She just doesn’t get it. She accuses Sonja of attention seeking. So much projection on this episode.
I now see why Tinsley can’t get a man. On her first date with the guy from the night before, she gets drunk. She brings up her arrest, her mugshot, her frozen embryos, her overbearing mother and tells her age. Somehow the guys still makes out with her at the end of her date.
The Inevitable Breakdown of Bethenny
Eventually, everyone arrives for dinner at the same place Tinsley had her date for drinks. Luann of course was on her on personal timetable. So Ramona agreed to go check on her and ended up getting left behind with her. Then Luann ignored her the whole ride while checking for comments about herself on social media. When they got to the restaurant, Luann went on to find the group and left Ramona behind. Then she complained about being the last to get a massage and not having a hairdresser to give her a blowout. Oh the entitlement.
Apparently, Barbara is wearing her big girl panties to dinner. She confronts Luann about how she hasn’t had her back. She reminds her that when she was in rehab, she stopped her whole life to be there for whatever she needed. And she feels unappreciated.
The other girls all chime in a bit about how Barbara was so focused on supporting Lu she didn’t get time to bond with the group. Tinsley who is drunk has found her voice as well. She slurs over one of her words and Luann mocks he for it. That. Set. Bethenny. OFF.
I can’t even recap what I am watching. I’ve never seen Bethenny lose it quite like this. All the girls point out that Luann is self-absorbed. That she never checks in on them. They look out for Lu and it is not reciprocated. Luann wants to leave. But Bethenny goes buck wild. I could not pull a decent screencap of this because Bethenny was whirling around so fast unleashing on Luann with all her might. Dennis dies and Luann never once asked how she was.
I’m fascinated by the other patrons. They have to be paid extras because they are not reacting to this at all.
Bethenny lists all the help she has given Luann. And it’s a lot. And Luann has never so much as said thank you. Ramona is sobbing for some reason. She says it is because her heart is breaking for Bethenny. But I am not sure Ramona is capable of empathy.
Bethenny’s breathing is very erratic. She breaks down sobbing. I think a lot of this is about Dennis.
Next week, we pick back up mid-panic attack. The girls head back to NYC. Luann records a new song. Bethenny checks out Dorinda’s new apartment.