Okay. Let’s do this. I haven’t eaten and a couple of days and am living on anxiety and this weird merlot kombucha thing I drink. So I am warning you now this is a more drunken recap than usual so fuck the (grammar and spelling) police in advance. I am kind of excited about this episode though. So let’s get on this RHOP Recap!
Look, already I need for Candiace to sit down and shut the fuck up about whatever a women wants to do about having children. Have eleventy thirteen babies if you want to. Don’t have any at all. But stay the fuck out of Ashley’s uterus, bitch.
Why do we have a scene with Karen with her bizarre braided weave and Gizelle? WHY? Oh all the girls are meeting up to head out for their own excursions. The only one I care about is Ashley and Katie going to the tarot reader. Ya’ll I just had to check my tags to make sure Ashley’s name was Ashley. This will not end well and I have a whole nuther recap to do! If I were the the boss of me, I’d fire me already. Candiace seems drunk too. In the mornTING.
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I’m sorry, but earlier in the evening I said, “Sometime I need to be around other human beings.” And Banjo got up went into the dining an FLOPPED himself on the floor in a hissy fit. So we are fighting in this recap. Someone remind me to let him in out of the rain because he would rather be anywhere but with me at the moment.
Excursions
Moving on. Katie Rost had hand surgery so her hands would not sweat? IDGI. The tarot guy tells Ashley that she will have a baby within a year, but a baby is not the reason she should have a baby. Raise your hand if you could have told her that. I see eleventy billion hands.
Leah Chase is the end all be all of this episode. Full stop. I should just shut up now. I’m not worthy. I migItht have drunk cried. I love Leah Chase.
Fine. I let the dog back in. Am the only old ass contrarian that manages to fight with whatever breathes are in my house? I’m a dreadful person. But, HE STARTED IT!
It’s Daddy’s Birthday And I’ll Fight If I Want Too!
You can fight too if it happens to you. Sorry,drunk. Katie and Karen is a match made in mental health heaven. Then talks of miscarriages and reconciliations between Ashley and Monique. I love all of this. I used to watch FAMU practice when I lived in Tallahassee, Best show ever
Banjo has decided to make up with me. I love him more than any human.
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I think it is Gizelle’s dad’s? Fuck I dunno. Someone’s 80th birthday. Whoever it is has eyes for Karen Huger. Because, old people. (laughs at my own jokes and slaps my own knee like my girl Lisa Rinna). Why do people have turbans? IDGI.
Banjo is mad again because I had to get up and pee and I was like, “Mama is working to pay for your dogfood! I have to work.” So um. back to square one. And y’all are alienated me from my elderly dog. IGS.
WTF WITH THE TURBANS?
Again, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE TURBAN THING. NTTAWWT. I was putting in photos. There was a bunch of bitches arguing. I love that Gizelle says you only turn 80 once, or if you are Karen Huger twice. I love Gizelle’s dad. Jesus Christ. Candiance can’t even sing Happy Birthday.
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Why are people drag racing on my street right now. I thought we were gentrifying? Or whatever you call it when the neighborhood pushes out the poors like me?
After a long day Gizelle went to get herself some vitamin D. Go on gurl!
The Struggle Bus
I am at my job on the struggle bus. Katie Rost is too hungover to participate in the next day of events. I may call in drunk on the struggle bus for the next recap.
So ,I went to pee for the forty second time and apparently a bug got on Candiace. I am starting to realize I kind like these girls.
I want to go to Cafe du Monde…
We are not going to discuss Sherman. We discuss Sherman. STFU, Karen. Where my beignets? From my backseat on the struggle bus, I want to drown Karen.
On the next RHOP Recap, I don’t know what is even happening.
I have been enjoying every single episode so far, bravo definitely got it right with the cast and crazy Katie as a friend. Gizelle’s father was living his best life tonight ?.
O.M.G. Why even watch the show? Your recap is funnier than ANYTHING that could be on RHOP. Haven’t watched it yet but had to comment already. Can you please always drunk recap?? Not really but-shit you are funny.
Loved this episode, especially Karen feeding the alligator and jumping halfway across the boat in fright! This show is so much lighter and fun than many of the other RH’s. Thankfully the cast hasn’t reached the point yet where they refuse to film with each other, like certain “stars” in other cities.
I want those beignets too! Katie hasn’t annoyed me like I thought she would. Fun episode and great recap!
This is as far as I’ve gotten through the recap, no way is Banjo still pissed and out in the rain…(it’s raining there? So jealous!) Anywho, bring him inside momma and hug on him for/from me if he’s still mad at you, Auntie Kipper will work her dog love magic and all will be right again, promise!
Now, back to reading this hilarious recap!
Why is Karen so mad? I don’t get why she is so upset and aggressive towards Gizelle.
Because when Karen was dealing with both parents suffering from Alzheimer’s and then eventually dying within 7 months of each other Gizelle took that opportunity to lambast Karen about her husband, finances, relocation closer to her sisters house where her parents were all for a storyline. If you watch Karen’s interview on the breakfast club she goes into a lot more detail which they don’t cover on the show. Karen and Gizelle are actually friends in real life and not only does Gizelle know Karen she knows her parents and sister too. Then at the reunion (the week after her dads funeral) Gizelle switched teams to try and comfort Karen but it was too late. Remember they went into taping the 4th season straight after the 3rd reunion so what we’re seeing on TV only happened a few weeks ago for them. Through social media I can see that they’re in a better place so that’s good.
THIS! I feel for Karen. Gizelle was very hurtful last season with her jabs – remember the t-shirts she made? Anyway, I think Karen is making huge strides to even talk to Gizelle.
My client is willing to overlook your bad acts and forgive you if some people food comes his way. Also, when you said drag race down your street I immediately pictured several drag queens walking a catwalk while you sat on the front porch deciding who could shante you stay and who must sashay away.
Show has been great, I think in Karen’s case the turban was so no one at the party will see the full ridiculousness of her braids. Candiace has some balls on her, asking that she be kept informed about Ashley. STFU, I love Monique for standing up for her, and Ashley handled it better than I would have. Katie is like the crazy Aunt that is at every family party. She is the mother of 3? I cant picture it, though I am sure she showed it in the first season. I also really want to go to New Orleans, now.
What happened to the days when Karen travelled with 2 or 3 wigs? Clearly she only brought the one wig this trip and it was a mistake. I asked last week why Candiace had the turban on and then she wore it for the entire trip. For a beauty queen I thought that was pretty strange. I’m just waiting for Katie to show her true crazy like she did before.
Katie needs to pee all over the couch again. I love Katie !
I really like the show.
I mostly just want a Beignet or four…..NOW!! Preferably last night! Who likes turbans? The ladies and Khloe Ks little girl!
Becoming a must see program! Thanks for the laughs!
I am NOT feelin Katie or Candiace AT ALL. Bring back Charrisse and add Kendall or Erica Lyles. IJS
“it is the mornTING”….bahahahahahahaha! love you TT!!!!
But Ashley BKA Hey Arthur can stick her forehead in everyone’s business…but yall stay out of Ashley’s business!!!!! right.
Stick her forehead! LOL!!
Not enjoying Karen at all this season. She needs to get over herself. Please, please, Bravo, STOP with the Housewives singing! Absolutely NONE of them have talent in that area, and Candiace may very well be the worst! I didn’t know it was possible to screw up Happy Birthday that badly…
Candiace seemed to be doing her damnedest, and failing terribly, at channeling her inner Marilyn for that Happy Birthday rendition. These ladies keep me laughing and that’s all I ask of reality tv.
Love Potomac.Want to see these heifers making LVP/ Leakes salaries. These women throw down like nobody’s business! I laugh throughout every single episode.
For some RH shows, I only watch for trips to places I like or if the recap sounds like the show is extra anything fun — or terrible. This episode seems both. I will watch for NOLA and the “singing” (caterwauling). I DO like turbans, but not all turbans and not on everyone — especially when they seem like an affectation (yoohoo, Nick Cannon). But which is worse … the turban or the braids? WHY the hideous braids? As David Letterman once said “If I were going to wear a wig, would it look like THIS?” Get your money back for that tonsorial abomination!
Your recaps are the world! That braided wig is sooooo “describable”!!!
I have watched this episode yet. The word “beignets” was new to me so I googled it. I need one or twelve. I think back in Canada they were called fritters.
TT I had the wonderful pleasure of dining at Dookie chase and personally met Ms. Leah. She was the sweetest thing and entertained me back in her kitchen. I will always remember her kindness. Rest in paradise Leah Chase.
Gizelle’s father is the bestest! When he thinks he’s being asked if he knows his daughter and he says, what was it, “been knowing her for a long time.” That is so Nawlins baby. He kind of reminds me of Ossie Davis. Seems like a really cool guy you would want to hang out with.
Sort of indifferent to Katie, couldn’t stand her before, but she’s neither happy making or displeasing this season which makes me wonder why she’s there.
I am really liking Monique in this episode. I had some issues with her before this one, but I’m riding with her in this one.
Karen and her filthy foul mouth. It’s not like I haven’t used salty language before, but I love that she did it because miss manners/etiquette won’t be able to walk that back now. hehe Now all we need is a worst wigged contest so I can vote like a bajillion and one times for her as the winner. Is it just me or was it kind of a richard move on her part to suggest she suspected Gizelle left Sherman because he was cheating and she got out before it went public? Gotta say though her confessional saying “Note to self; I’m watching you Gizzy” was kind of funny.
Robyn gets lottsa points for checking Karen on her foul filthy mouth.
Ashley I like, but please no more nip tassels. Elvira did that shit in Mistress of The Dark and ain’t nobody gonna twirl those things anywhere near as good as she did.
Gizzy is still my favorite though. She had me laughing when she started stacking the napkin holders saying boundaries, boundaries, to block Karen at Cafe Du Monde. Also I kind of hope she actually did hook up with her old friend, the one she met at the bar on the second floor of the hotel. She’s hot go for it.
I’m not sure if you’re aware of it TT but sadly Leah Chase passed away June 1st. She was 96. Really nice lady. She once put up with me telling her how much I loved greens, and I ratted out her friend, a prominent politician at the table, as absolutely abhorring them. She laughed and teased him. She had them bring gumbo to our table as well. It’s not a sad memory at all. Her funeral and Second Lines were yesterday.
Miss Leah Chase! <3
Rest in peace, you beautiful woman. You defender of civil rights. You glorious cook! Bless your family. May their memories of you be a comfort to them as they mourn you. May we be so lucky to very soon be in New Orleans so we can go to Dooky Chase's and have something amazing to eat.
And RIP Mister Mac.
The Night Tripper has left the bayou…or has he? Keep your Gris-Gris close as you laissez les bons temps rouler.
Beautiful Second Lines for both Miss Leah and Mister Mac. New Orleans knows how to send off their own.
Cafe Du Monde is everything. I am not into patries, however, their coffee and chicory blend is sooooo good, that I brew it at home regularly between trips to New Orleans.