Well, this is the final Summer House recap of the season! Are you prepared for this to be over? I am not. What a fun yet frustrating ride this has been! We’ve laughed, we cried, we’ve stared in disbelief at our tv’s…it has been a hell of a ride. We open with Carl Radke helping Lindsay Hubbard move into her office space. Her personal life may be non existent, but her career is red hot. Carl tells Lindsay that he really likes the wedding date girl, Kirsten. He says he wants her to be his girlfriend. Lindsay thinks he’s desperate to be in a relationship. I agree with her. This should end super well.
Father May I?
When last we left Kyle, he was a sobbing hot mess. He had every intention of proposing to Amanda Batula, until Stassi Schroeder attempted to talk sense into him. Well that lasted all of two seconds. He is going to propose to Amanda come hell or high water. He and Amanda host an event to gain investors for Loverboy. Amanda’s parents are there. Kyle and Amanda’s dad, Frank, are left alone. Kyle informs Frank that he is going to propose the following weekend. He would like his blessing. Her dad is shocked.
Frank wants to know how Kyle goes from cheating to proposing. Frank fears that he is rushing to make up for something. Kyle is brought to tears. He swears that he loves Amanda and wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Frank does not give his blessing. Instead, he says he will be happy for Amanda whatever she chooses. I think that Frank disapproves but knows that Amanda will say yes when Kyle proposes. He does not want to create any conflicts with his daughter. What do you all think?
Punk’d by Paige
The next day everyone heads up to the Hamptons. They are having a “death to summer” party, complete with coffin. Very macabre way to end the summer, no? Jordan Verroi, Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo arrange for chef’s to come make the gang a “garden party” dinner. They set up a beautiful table outside. It’s lovely. They have steamers! And/or muscles. Either way it looks delicious. After dinner everyone goes out for a heavy night of drinking. At a precisely scripted 4:16 am, Paige sneaks up to Carl’s room…for a phone charger! Ha! Thanks for that tease production, but the beauty of this show is that they are not needed. The stars of this show do better without producer driven stunts.
The following morning everyone prepares for the huge summer blowout party. Oh wow, this is the day Kyle is proposing as well! He is planning a sunset cruise. In the meantime, everyone is dressed in their best black bikinis/priest garb to say farewell to the summer. Jordan plays funeral director. Everyone writes down what they want to say goodbye to, then throws the paper in the coffin. Hannah cannot wait to say goodbye to Jordan’s lies. Amanda puts the cheating crap to rest. Everyone hugs then goes inside to get ready for the party.
They Put The Fun In Funeral
The house is suddenly full of people. Jordan gives a self effacing toast to kick the party off. Kirsten, Carl’s wedding date, arrives. Paige’s jealousy is in full effect. Kristen is overwhelmed by all of the people so Carl tells her to go chill in his room. He and Paige take that time to flirt and talk about what might have been. Paige says that if things do not work out with Kirsten, she will meet him in the pantry later.
Carl has another plan. He goes to his room to ask Kirsten to be his girlfriend. She says yes. In what has to be the most hilariously overacted scene of the season, Paige acts overjoyed when Carl tells her. It’s an Oscar worthy performance as she jumps up and down in “happiness” at the news. Her talking head, meanwhile, tells a different story. Paige sure can turn it on when she wants to, eh?
Hey Baby, I Think I’m Gonna Marry You
Kyle sneaks Amanda away from the party under the pretense that Kyle is taking Amanda out on a date. On the sunset cruise, Kyle gives her three dozen roses for the three years they have been together. As the sun sets, Kyle confesses his undying love to Amanda. On one knee he asks her to marry him.
Amanda cries, genuinely surprised. After repeatedly asking if he is “fucking kidding” her, she says yes. The third wall is broken as production breaks out in applause. I have been critical of this couple (and still reserve the right to be). This honestly was such a sweet, sweet proposal with two people that seem truly in love. I wish them nothing but the best.
The newly betrothed couple returns to the house. The party guests have left. All that remains is our Summer House gang . Kyle and Amanda announce their engagement. Everyone is so happy for them. Lots of drinking ensues. The entire gang goes in the pool to end the epic season that was Summer House. WHAT. A. SEASON! I am so sad it is over. Nothing was said about a reunion but please check back next week. If there is a reunion, I will submit a recap! Thanks for reading my Summer House Recaps this season! Be sure to let me know what you thought about the season in the comments below.