By CJ Bomb
Hey everyone! Guess what? The stars have aligned and the Lovely Les and I are SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER. Yes….the baseball/school gods have smiled upon us and we are able to somehow be physically next to each other and get this Project Runway recap done together. So, hopefully deep insight as well as deep rose enjoyment will happen.
The episode begins with an early morning text from Christian Siriano inviting the final six to his Atelier. Les wonders if they really move to the next challenge right away like they did last week every week. I point out if they are drinking wine it’s truly the end of a challenge. Les agrees that whine and wine means they have an evening before the next challenge begins.
Les loves that Christian is on avenue C. The atelier is the embodiment of all the designers’s dreams. The staircase was so fabulous we rewound the scene three times. We want to live there. Sebastian imagining a future like this for himself. It could happen. Christian was also rejected from design school and a contestant on Project Runway!
Take Your Designer To Work Day
Christian reminds the final six that women come in all shapes and sizes. Tessa does not look like she likes where this is going. The designers will be doing dream dresses for the women who run New York City!. A slew of ladies come in who make NYC run everyday. There are women from the post office, ferry, sanitation department, fire department, police department and school system. The designers’ job is to make them feel amazing. Garo lives and works in NYC and is very excited about this challenge. He is ready to give back. Les mutters that she hopes his model likes corsets. Not only will the designers be working with these women, they are going to work with these women.
Garo delivers mail with Debra. She tells him to push the cart. Les points out that maybe he’s found his dominatrix. Hester is very excited to be in a cop car for the first time with her police officer model, Dina. Sebastian cleans city streets with. Les recalls that Nicole was on the Today Show. She grew up embarrassed that her dad was a sanitation worker until she started riding along with him. Then she decided to follow in his footsteps. Tessa is working with Maria who is an EMT. Jamall rides the ferry with Angela a 19 year old deckhand.
Bishme’s model, Jaclyn, is a teacher. She gives him a word problem. A ball and a bat cost $1.10. The bat costs a dollar more than the ball. How much does the ball cost?
Tell Me What You Want, What You Really, Really Want
These women don’t get to dress up often and want to live their dream. Jaclyn wants Bishme to make her a long sky blue dress with a flowy bottom.
Jamall’s model, Angela, wants a long red evening gown. Jamall asks if she wants to do a strapless gown. She says she doesn’t like her arms. Les and I look at each other. Jamall has a sleeve problem. It’s well documented at this point. Les says, “FORESHADOWING.”
Hester’s model, Dina wants an off the shoulder pink dress. Hester looks panicked.
We are in love with Sebastian’s model Nicole, who thinks she will be engaged shortly. So she needs a beautiful sparkly dress for an engagement party.
Garo Sparo got the right lady with Debra. She tells him she likes skin and wants to walk in the room and have all heads turn.
I Wanna Really Really Really Wanna Zigazig Ha
Oh Tessa. Tessa, Tessa, Tessa. Maria, tells her Tessa she wants a short, girly, pink princess short dress. Tessa basically tells her she only does black and gray. She says she’s going to put her in a black jumpsuit with a skirt overlay. Les and I want to kick her off now. We pause and discuss how the designers should watch every season before they come on this show. Yes, you have to keep your aesthetic, but you have to make the client happy. This woman doesn’t want to look like she stepped off a Marni ot Chloe runway. She wants to look like a damn princess! We pause again so Les can show me her new Chloe purse which is AMAZING! So jelly. Moving on…
So Here’s A Story From A To Z
At Mood the designers have forty-five minutes and $300. This is a two day challenge. Sebastian is struggling with fabric choices. He keeps picking god-awful pinks and laces. Christian comes to his rescue. He also has to explain the difference between electric blue and sky blue to Bishme, who basically tells him to go back to his atelier. Garo Sparo gets pink and purple to let his model choose.
You Gotta Listen Carefully
In the workroom, it is noted that Garo, Bishme and Sebastian all do custom commissioned work for clients. So does almost every designer in the world, no matter how famous they are. Jamall, Tessa and Hester do custom work. Jamall says he makes his “art” and hopefully someone subscribes to it. Les rolls her eyes. This is the most pretentious thing I will hear today and I work in the art industry.
Tessa announces she doesn’t want to make a custom look. Again, can we kick her off now? Hester is just trying to figure out a way to merge her style with her client’s. Garo Sparo looks at Tessa’s plan for a minimalist jumpsuit. He reminds her this is a DREAM DRESS challenge. Garo also tells Jamall to cover the top of his model’s arms. We have noticed that Garo and Sebastian are the secondary mentors for a lot of these designers.
On the second day, the designers point out to Tessa that she only does black. As production shows us all her black designs from previous challenges, she denies it. Hester sums up Tessa perfectly. She says that Tessa is annoyed she hasn’t been given the recognition she feels she deserves. She thinks that Tessa has a very high opinion of herself. Damn, if Hester is calling you out, it’s time for some serious self-reflection. Hester also says that maybe Tessa should prove herself by doing something different.
Christian Siriano Is Awesome. Period.
Bishme tells Christian he has been in his head with the sky blue comments since Mood. Christian tells him his dress is going Disney Princess. Bishe needs to feel awesome about the dress so that the model will as well. What Bishe feel awesome about is his newfound word problem skills. He asks everyone, “A ball and a bat cost $1.10. The bat costs a dollar more than the ball. How much does the ball cost?” Jaclyn is a great teacher.
Sebastian has done a very vintage shaped dress with a flared skirt. When he asks if he should put a bow on the shoulder, Christian saves his ass (again) by telling him to modernize it. Sebastian decides to include his custom stitching as his fingerprint on his client’s dress.
Garo Sparo has time issues because he was trying to make two dresses. Christian tells him to go with the purple dress. Hester has a pink dress. Les and I want his cool cross-body tool bag to take to the farmer’s market.
You Gotta Listen Carefully!
OMG! Tessa tells Christian her client likes dark sophisticated clothes? No Tessa, YOU like dark sophisticated clothes. Your model wanted a short pink princess dress. Christian Siriano looks at her and simply says “Interesting”. Okay Les and I are dying laughing. Christian just basically told her so much with one word. Like, you are an idiot. He also essentially tells her she’s going to go home for doing pants. So Tessa starts making a dress. At least she’s not stupid and/or arrogant enough to ignore that advice.
Taking Is Too Easy, But That’s The Way It Is
Garo’s client LOVES her heliotrope purple dress. We pause the TV again when Christian sees her in it. If Christian looks at your client that way? You have won. He tells Garo Sparo the fit is amazing. He also tells him that making his client this happy is THE POINT (cough, Tessa, cough Jamall).
Speaking of Jamall, his client looks very unhappy stuffed into an ill-fitting shiny tube dress. Christian tells Jamall she needs support. He also wonders what’s happening with the sleeves. Oh Christian, how many times have you had this conversation with Jamall?
Hester is just hanging on for dear life, but at least she is trying to make her client happy. Sebastian’s dress now has some edge to it with the stitching and the fit is perfect. Bishme’s model is happy but we think this looks like three different prom/bridesmaids dresses sewn together. Tessa’s model looks unhappy in her gothic black one shoulder dress with a D-ring belt with fabric hanging off. She says she’s happy. She’s not happy.
Slam Your Body Down And Wind It All Around
Tessa actually tells Sebastian her goal is to please Brandon. Les says that she doesn’t think Brandon is into d-rings and I spit out my wine. Sebastian asks what about her client? He also notes that she’s doing the skirt he taught her to make in the team challenge. We hope when Tessa watches this season she realizes how ridiculous she is. Bishme’s client has written him an incredible note of encouragement. He will remember that for the rest of his life. One of the eight billion reasons teachers are awesome.
Les and I want to eliminate Tessa and Jamall now. Their clients look very unhappy. Hester is freaking out, but she will definitely be safe. Tessa isn’t hemming anything. AGAIN! Jamall has no sleeves. AGAIN! Tessa is now cutting the swatches of fabric off her D-ring belt. Les has a handprint on her thigh from hitting it so hard everytime she wants to yell at Tessa. At least the women all look beautiful in their hair and makeup.
I Said, Slam Your Body Down And Wind It All Around
Karlie walks out wearing a sequined mini-dress that Tessa’s client wishes she was wearing instead of the dress Tessa made for her. The guest judge is Danielle Brooks from Orange is the New Black.
Garo’s client LOVES her purple bodycon dress with a cape and it shows. She is beaming. Les wonders if there was supposed to be ruching around the waist. I tell her I don’t even care. He made this woman feel incredible. Sebastian’s client is also clearly thrilled. Is her dress sparkly and semi-princess? Yes. Does it have elements of Sebastian. YES. These are definitely the top two.
Hester has done a basic halter dress with a flared skirt. Her client seems happy and the colors are nice. Safe.
Les thinks that Tessa took Maria the EMT’s uniform and made a dress out of it. This is not what this woman wanted. Jamall’s client looks uncomfortable and miserable.
We are still getting prom from Bishme’s dress, but his model is obviously happy and it is well made. Bishme says is was a major honor to create a dress for a hard working woman of New York. I pause the show and turn to Les exclaiming: THAT! RIGHT THERE! The four successful designers worked like it was a privilege to dress their clients. The two designers who failed miserably acted as if it was an honor for the clients to have THEM doing their dresses. We pick either Garo or Sebastian to win and both Jamall and Tessa should be sent packing.
But If You Really Bug Me Then I’ll Say Goodbye
Elaine tells Debra, Garo Sparo’s client, she looks like a million bucks. Nina asks what she requested and Debra explains she wanted him to fit her shape. He gave her bling and flow and everything she asked for. She then explains the dress has a detachable cape. Danielle asks if she feels if she can dance in it? Debra assures her she can “get down in it.” We love Debra. Brandon says that this is how he wants his mail delivered. He tells her she looks great.
Brandon wants to know if Nicole, Sebastian’s model, was in pageants. She tells him he just gave up her crown as Miss Staten Island!!! He tells her she worked the runway full pageant queen. She tells Nina she requested pink, poofy and sparkly princess meets retro-glam. She LOVES it. It exceeded every expectation. Nina says it was the most well executed on the runway.
Danielle asks how Gina, Hester Sunshine’s client, feels in her dress. Gina is happy to step outside her comfort zone and show some skin and rock some heels. Nina thinks the color is beautiful and Gina looks comfortable and glamorous. She asks if she can fit the gun in her handbag. Brandon says she can fit the cuffs, which is really all she needs. He thinks Hester lost herself a little bit in the design because she was trying so hard to make her client happy.
Maria, Tessa Clark’s client, has been brainwashed. She says she requested something elegant she could wear to a party. Karlie asks if she likes black. She breaks out of her trance long enough to proclaim she loves pink and she’s a “girly girl”. Nina’s facial reaction to this is priceless. Tessa tries to point out her tiny bits of pink on this franken-dress. Danielle likes the dress without the belt. She doesn’t think the client got the dress she wanted. Karlie thinks Tessa made HER dream dress. OMG! Tessa is arguing with the judges. She claims her dress WAS hemmed because she used hem tape. Them she claims everyone else does it. Are you trying to piss EVERYONE off Tessa?
Then I’ll Say Goodbye… Can I Do It Twice?
Jamall’s client, Angela explains that she wanted a long dress with a train so that she could feel like she was going to a gala. Nina asks what is going on underneath her arm. Jamall explains that he did that for support. Nina’s face makes us believe that Jamall is not long for this competition.
Jamall knows he fucked up. Nina tells him his dress was a technical mess. Elaine says he tends to fall short when designing for curvier women. We then get examples of this in his past work. Danielle tells him it’s important for everyone to be included in the fashion conversation. Jamall acknowledges that coming on the show has been a huge learning experience for him and going forward he wants to make serious changes in how he designs and who he designs for. We love him for saying this, but think he’s still screwed.
Jaclyn explains that she wanted to stand out. She says the first thing Bishme asked her was how she wanted to feel when she put the dress on. I pause the show again and yell. ” That’s what a designer should DO for a personal client. Elaine agrees. Nina likes how she worked on the dress. Karlie thinks the gathering of the fabric is well done. It’s sexy yet elegant.
You Gotta Listen Carefully!
We are very happy the judges sent the models off the runway before talking to the designers with the lower scores. The other designers call out Tessa on being an ass. She claims she was just defending her garment. Jamall points out that she didn’t need to say things about how other designers work. She claims that’s how she feels. He goes on to say that is serves no purpose except making her look like an ass. She won’t stop talking. Les now has an actual welt on her leg from smacking it.
Sebastian is the winner!! I turn to Les and say at the end of the day Nina is really the boss here. She said Sebastian should win and Jamall should go and that is what happened. As much as we love Jamall and can’t stand Tessa we agree it was time for him to go. The judges send him off with loving words. Christian says it was the warmest goodbye he’s ever seen.
Good-bye Jamall, we will miss you. Do you guys agree? Leave us lots of comments! Everyone have a wonderful weekend! See you next week for another Project Runway Recap. We’re getting close to the end. Xoxoxo CJ and Les.
Pop Quiz From TT!
A ball and a bat cost $1.10. The bat costs a dollar more than the ball. How much does the ball cost?
Extra credit, what is the origin of most of the headings for this Project Runway Recap?