In tonight’s RHOP Recap, we welcome back Katie Rost. There are few people on these franchises that have some emotional issues. But Katie Rost is full blown crazy. Oh God. I think this might be the episode that caused Michael Darby so many problems.
But first, the episode start’s with Ashley’s mother dropping by for a visit. It’s the first time she’s come over since Ashley (and Michael) cut her off financially. Ashley gets emotional when Michael and her mom hug. It’s been a while. There is a birthday party on the horizon for her Uncle Lump and she’s hopeful that her family can all be there celebrating together. This scene is a full blown ad for Corona. I wish Bravo would stop with this crap.
Shopping For Grave Markers
Really? This is what we are doing now? Using the show to get free grave markers for your parents? Wow. The Hugers must be deadass broke. I’m not doing this.
Or the TV therapy with Gizelle.
This could be a very short recap.
Babies With Braids
I cannot stand to go get my hair done. I desperately need to go get things brightened up a bit for summer. But sitting in that chair for hours on end is miserable. I can’t sit still that long. So someone tell me how Monique’s baby girl has this adorable hair style? How do you get a baby girl to sit through all that braiding? It is spectacular though. And her kids are really, really, cute and seem really chill. Plus, Monique is pregnant and exhausted. She is done and wants her husband to get a vasectomy. He wants on more.
Gizelle goes to lunch with Katie Rost. Katie has a scarf on her head. It’s not tied, or anything. It’s just draped there as if it accidentally fell from the sky and she hasn’t noticed it landed on her. Katie has a27 year old boyfriend. He’s white and apparently batshit crazy too.
Renovations By Robyn
Robyn’s house she started renovating with her mother last season is still nowhere near done. Robyn looks great. I love her short hair. But the blonde on top is bordering on Dorit Kemsley’s golden goose shit look.
Candiace and Ashley meet at Oz for some Coronas and conversation. I have no idea what is going on with these two. I guess Ashley drew the short straw. Or somebody had to film the Corona commercial. I dunno.
Meanwhile At The Fake House
Gizelle has finally been allowed in the Karen’s pretend home. But first, Karen sages the house and Gizelle. Karen only wants to show her two rooms. So, Gizelle thinks she lives in the basement. I think she lives in a shelter down the way. Then, Karen trashes Gizelle in her talking head. She says that when it comes to Sherman and Gizelle’s breakup, no one is surprised. And she thinks that, “Sherman left the party before Gizelle did.”
These two are so not friends. Yet, they decide to test their friendship by exchanging “secrets” and seeing if they get out. Gizelle says she uses hair remover on her hoohah. Karen regrets getting her implants out because now when she lays down her boobs go “east and west.” How are these secrets? Boobs are made to go east and west. Also, everyone maintains their lady garden. Is it me or is this the dumbest episode ever. Can we just get on to Uncle Lump’s party?
Uncle Lump’s Party!
It’s a 90s party. Gizelle is killing it once again. Monique and Karen bailed on the party. Why is Candiace all up in Ashley’s womb talking about her drinking. She’s not pregnant yet. Sit down Candi Ass. Michael is being flirty with all the hot guys. I’m just saying.
I think Katie may be my new favorite. Because, she tells Candiace that she wishes she had met her before the wedding because she would have told her not to get married. So, Candiace is pissed.
Oh Lord. I forgot Ashley had a song.
So, four hours into the party, everyone is wasted. Robyn says she remembers Michael saying about some guy, “Yeah. I would suck his dick.” Here we go. Michael tells production that he doesn’t think his mike was working all night. Production tells him they didn’t hear anything. He’s relieved because he says he might have said some things he might regret.