It’s time for part two of the Vanderpump Rules Reunion. I’m still not really over the disgusting behavior from part one. Click here if you missed Part 1 of the Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap. Then count your lucky stars that you saved yourself that hour of your life. I suppose I should get right on the Vanderpump Rules Reunion Recap for Part 2. Le sigh.
We start with everyone screaming at James and Sandoval pointing out they are all coming for him. Brittany and Jax are the most vocal about Sandoval daring to try to calm these fools down. Katie tells Sandoval he sounds dumb. Sandoval is the only reasonable person on the stage. Andy tells them all to shut the fuck up and take a break.
James Sobs During The Break
The break is filmed. Lisa Vanderpump takes James aside. She starts crying saying he is in shambles. Backstage Jax is stomping around saying Sandoval isn’t invited to his wedding anymore. I think they worked their friendship out, BUT, Sandoval was in St. Louis last weekend instead of at Jax’s bachelor part. The coven of four flew off to Paris for a girls trip. Lala appeared to be drinking.
Back to the main stage, Andy pours some gasoline on the Sandoval and Jax situation. He reminds Sandoval that he referred to Jax as a recovering psychopath. I disagree with the recovering part. Jax tells Andy that he doesn’t just blow up on people anymore. We just had an entire hour long reunion of Jax blowing up on James. Britanny said that Jax is very closed off and doesn’t want to discuss his past transgressions in therapy. Vanderpump says that he needs to take the blame for going to bed with Faith with a tape recorder running.
Ariana’s Vagina Is Not That Shy After All
Lots of discussion about Ariana and Lala getting down in the backseat of the Sandoval’s car while he was driving. Lala wants us all to know she “ate Ariana’s cookie.” Because, classy. Whatever happened to Ariana’s “shy vagina?” Everyone on this set has been with a woman except Vanderpump and Andy.
Vanderpump is still not a fan of Kristen. Kristen thinks Vanderpump refuses to see that she has changed. Kirsten is worse.
Andy and Sandoval Go For A Bike Ride
Just when I thought this was one of the least scripted shows on Bravo, Sandoval takes Andy for a ride in the sidecar. It’s totally a fake recreation of the motorcycle not working. So dumb.
Then things get even dumber. Stassi admits that she paid for the whole “National OOTD Day.” Vanderpump has her own day as well.
Katie comes for James again talking about all the horrible things he has done to people. Sandoval had to jump in again and call them all hypocrites. Because, OBVIOUSLY. Katie getting James fired for calling her fat is ridiculous. Especially since she mocks him all the time calling him “little.” Andy asks if she was surprised that the viewers sided with James on the issue. She was.
Katie said this is about having the courage to stand up for yourself even if it makes people hate you. She thinks we are missing that point. Only that is not what she did. Katie didn’t stand up for herself. She went crying to Vanderpump and issued an ultimatum. She was being vindictive because James called her fat. I’m sure James isn’t the only person to say that to her. She is proud of her behavior. “No regrets.”
Billie Lee Takes A Seat On The Couch
Andy seems really nice to Billie. Billie has had her final surgery and is thrilled with what she sees in the mirror. She says dating as a transwoman is hard. She wants to adopt a baby soon. Apparently. Billie and Max have hooked up and Vanderpump is none too thrilled about that. Vanderpump is one of those “not in my backyard” sort of “LGBT supporters.” As I was typing that she suddenly changed her face and joked about potentially being Billie’s mother-in-law.
Katie claims not including Billie in Girls Night out was “an oversight.” Vanderpump is pissed that Billie implied that Katie is transphobic. She thinks that is a poor reflection on SUR. Really? That is what is a poor reflection on SUR? Vanderpump says it was an oversight. She points to Kristen, Lala and Katie and says that all of the girls have been very supportive of her. Is Vanderpump on crack? All three of those girls treat Billie like shit. Their abusive behavior has been on the show! Then LVP makes Billie say that all the girls support her. This is just garbage.
Lala Kent Blatantly Displays Her Transphobia
Production rolls the footage of Lala attacking and threatening Billie Lee at her job. When Andy asks why she gets so riled up when someone disagrees with her, she says, “Because it’s really exhausting to school people on life. It’s just…like, a waste of my time.” I really wish someone would take this little whore and beat the shit out of her. She needs a good ass beating.
Ariana talks about saying Lala needed to toughen up on the show. Ariana’s father died and no one gave a crap. She didn’t get any sympathy. Jax said Ariana can’t play the dead dad card. Jax apologized and said karma bit him in the ass for that remark. Vanderpump says she was upset that Lala lied to her about how she treated Billie. Lala says watching it back she would have handled it exactly the same way. This is sober Lala.
You Get A House, And You Get A House!
Tom and Ariana, Swartz and Katie, Jax and Brittany and Kristen all bought houses in the same neighborhood in the valley. That’s four houses for those of y’all playing along at home. That’s why this story was so weird. Britanny and Jax are going to start having babies right away.
Lala says she is sober. Then everyone including Sandoval comes after James for his drinking. Sandoval strongly implies that James does coke. Oh that reminds me. The necklace that Katie is wearing is a cocaine locket. It comes with it’s own spoon. Someone sent me the link to buy the necklace that is advertised for that purpose. I don’t feel like any of these people need to be bringing up James’ drug use. Most all of them are friends with Coco. Everyone bangs on James some more. Lala mocks Raquel’s “polyester dress.” They are like a pack of nasty wolves.
Why Is Kristen So Awful?
Kristen will not stop attacking James. It’s disgusting behavior. Why do we watch this shit? James was the storyline for both of the first two episodes. Kristen rants about James parents saying that he was raised by a bunch of assholes. Who says that to someone about their parents? Even Vanderpump as to say that was way too far! Brittany, who is truly a cunt these days, tells Vanderpump that he called her family hillbillies.
James walks off the stage to avoid going on a murderous rampage. That shows tremendous restraint. I don’t think I could have left the stage until the cops showed up to arrest me.