By CJ Bomb
I am solo tonight with Les hopefully chiming in at some point. She has family in as it is her birthday tomorrow, so everyone wish her a happy birthday in the comments. She is an amazing person and friend. I am blessed to know her.
Speaking of those we thought were our friends…At the apartment Bishme, Renee and Jamall are giving Tessa shit about her look not being in the bottom. Bishme can’t believe she got away with unfinished hems when Sonia got sent home for an elegant dress. Tessa is so flustered she drops her cereal. Raw hems are one of her things! It was an intentional style choice! It seemed to be dropped, but you can tell that Tessa is upset.
Karlie Kloss and Marni Senofonte stroll out on the runway wearing looks only these two can pull off. Les texts that I must be loving Karlie’s walkout look which is black, tight, gothy, short and everything I love. She loves her some Marni, who has somehow combined Little House on the Prairie schoolmarm, Daisy Duke and a dancer from a Beyonce video. I tell her that Karlie and Marni can be our avatars in our fashion video game.
Marni explains that in fashion the story is in the styling. It’s a team challenge. They have to curate a collection for a celebrity headed down to Rio de Janeiro. Les texts that this sounds fun. The designers have to create a chic look for the beach, a cool daytime look and of course the ubiquitous evening wear. They also have to come up with three unique hairstyles to compliment the designs. The celebrity is Morena Baccarin. For once I don’t have to look someone up. She plays Vanessa in the Deadpool films. That is my youngest son’s favorite movie. (yes, he’s old enough to watch it). It’s a one day challenge.
Karlie draws buttons and whoever she picks gets to choose their teammates. Tessa gets picked first and wisely chooses Sebastian (who looks less than thrilled) and Lela. Then, Hester picks Garo Sparo (who looks less than thrilled but can’t say no to her puppy dog eyes) and Bishme. That leaves Jamall, Renee and Venny (Renee and Venny being less than thrilled because Jamall has immunity). Jamall doesn’t want to have immunity on this one because it’s a team challenge. He wanted to push the boundaries and he can’t do that when other people’s lives are on the line, so to speak. Yeah, that worked out really well for Hester last week. FORESHADOWING.
Time To Get Moody
Tessa was seriously irking me last week and now Hester is irking me again, proclaiming, “I have to be the boss or I become a problem child.” This is not cute or endearing, Hester.
At Mood. Christian reminds them to think of their clients style to help guide their choices. He knows and has dressed Morena. That’s yet another reason Christian is VERY good at this. He advises them to stick with her aesthetic. Renee has picked a print. A flamingo print. Little too literal for me. She is doing pants for her daytime look as it is easier to chase after kids in pants. Tessa is back to being a bossy betty. She generally hates colors and prints, so she is at a loss. Sebastian continues to look depressed he is stuck with her.
What’s The Story?
In the workroom everyone realized they went to Mood and picked the EXACT same color palettes. Was there was a BRAZIL STEREOTYPE section? They now realize they are really going to have to do work that stands out. Marni saunters in from the farm/nightclub/music video she’s been in, wanting to know what each teams narratives are. Renee, Bishme and Venny don’t seem to have a story yet. but, she’s coming home for Carnivale. Snore. Hester, Garo and Bishme’s story is that Morena is a disco queen in NYC come home to Rio to throw a party. Tessa, Lela and Sebastian have chosen Roman Holiday as their theme. But in Brazil.
Tessa Is A Hot Messa
Tessa is trying to tell Lela what to do and Lela is NOT having it. She tells her that they are both type A but Tessa is worse. I text Les that Lela should be a hair model in her spare time. Renee is more vocal this time about giving advice. Fortunately, they guys seem to be listening….wait…scratch that. Jamall is doing an avant-garde swimsuit. FORESHADOWING.
Garo’s strategy of handling Hester is to let her think that she is in charge, which is hilarious. I do that with my husband. He is doing a diaphanous flowy evening gown in bright colors with a cinched waist. Hester is working on a reversible swimsuit (love that idea) and trying to keep things clean while still retaining her quirky style. Bishme’s day look is a cool pair of white pants with a flowy top. He’s going to stay true to himself this time and do what he does best. Keep it clean Bishme.
Renee is using Venny’s pants math instead of draping the pants on the form like she normally does. Jamall destroyed a lycra panel on his look by ironing it. FORESHADOWING! Sebastian has the beach look. He normally designs speedo type bathing suits for men, so how hard can it be to do a suit for a woman? I text my friend Gerardo and ask if men only wear speedos to the beach in Columbia. Without missing a beat he says yes, he is wearing one right now. Lela is doing an elegant slip dress for her evening look. As always, Hester is flouncing around and Sebastian is doing most of the work.
Christian Tries To Save Everyone From Themselves.
On team Carnivale Christian reminds them that he has worked with Morena before and she likes to keep it classy and sophisticated rather than party girl. He doesn’t seem thrilled with their ideas and I’m surprised the immortal Project Runway kiss of death: LACK OF COHESION has not been uttered.
When Team Roman Holiday explains their concept, he also seems less than impressed. He reminds them Morena is FROM Brazil so the story needs to be more fleshed out. Christian asks Sebastian if he wants to talk. He lets his garment do the talking. He wishes his teammates were going a little more sexy as this is Brazil we are talking about after all. Poor Sebastian.
On team Disco Queen Christian immediately shuts down Hester’s shorts over the swimsuit idea. I’m guessing Hester doesn’t get to the beach much. Christian tells Garo to get more crazy with his simple gown. Garo’s response to to embroider the heck out of his corset. He tells Bishme to get more 70’s with his pants and add a little flare.
Magical Pants Math Is Hard
Renee is realizing she should have stuck to draping as Venny’s magical pants math isn’t working for her. Hester is also having fit issues. Venny is terrified he has chosen the wrong color. Seriously, this looks like Rio Barbie. Renee is looking at their outfits. She realizes not only is she screwed with her too big pants, the group doesn’t have a cohesive collection. Again, kiss of death. Tessa is still seething over Bishme’s raw hems comments. She passive aggressively tells Bishme she’s hemming her garment and will beat him. Les texts that she can’t stand Tessa. When they leave he throws snowballs at her.
In Sickness And In Health
Karlie comes in with Christian and everyone is dreading a twist. Everyone stops what they are doing except Hester. Everyone stares at her as she keeps cutting fabric…..loudly. Finally, she looks up. Karlie explains that she has to attend a dear friend’s wedding so she will be missing the runway. Also, Nina is sick so she won’t be there either. The designers are secretly relieved.Elaine will be in charge and Marni, Brandon and Morena Baccarin will be the judges.
Renee says if she gets kicked off she can go home and get married. Renee is getting married? Wow. I think she is resigned at this point. Sebastian is running around doing everything for his teammates. As usual.
Hester, Bishme and Garo are up first. I am getting modern Body Glove bathing suit from Hester’s look which is good, but not disco.
Bishme’s pants are a perfect simple compliment to his more complex cut-out flowy top. Way to bounce back Bishme.
Garo’s dress flows nicely on the runway and would look good on a lot of women. It looks cohesive. It’s Les’s favorite.
Renee, Venny and Jamall are next.These guys are fucked. Sorry, I don’t know how to say it any differently. The bathing suit dress has screwed the team.
Renee’s pants are just bad. The top looks like it belongs on the lido deck of a low rent cruise. Venny’s dress is still Rio Barbie. Les agrees.
We are terrified Renee is going home.
Finally, Sebastian, Tessa and Lela’s models hit the stage. Sebastian’s overlay stitching is the common thread(see what I did there!) of this collection. His beach look is cool.
I hate to say it, but Tessa has redeemed herself as she has made an elegant look on the SAME model she was bitching about last week.
Lela’s dress is simple and flowy with nice accents. We pick this for second place as it is not as exciting as the first group.
The Judges’ Thoughts
We want Bishme to win and Jamall to go. We know that won’t happen so we are hoping for a last minute save for Renee. Elaine tells them that everything had the same color palette. Yup. Team Rio Holiday are safe and Tessa is confused as to why they aren’t in the winner’s circle. She seethes some more.
Hester explains their concept. She say she is the spiritual leader of the team. I can hear Garo rolling his eyes through my TV. Morena says her bathing suit was Hester’s favorite but she doesn’t know if she can do that much color. Hester quickly points out it’s reversible to a black side. Marni thinks it pops on the model. Everyone is very impressed by the construction.
Brandon loves that Garo’s dress shows how he can use a corset multiple ways to show off a variety of figures. Morena loves the movement of his gown. Marni thinks it would totally work in a club.
Elaine thinks that Bishme’s pants are a “palette cleanser” and beautifully done. Marni thinks the top is amazing but the shoes he chose were terrible. Morena loves the white clean pant. Brandon is amazed by the construction of the top. They welcome him back.
The Leftover Team
Brandon hopes that Jamall’s model won’t break her leg or drown in twisted fabric when she goes swimming in his avant-garde suit. Elaine got bad ice-skating dress. Morena is completely confused by it. Marni is getting the idea and the Balenciaga aspects of it, but wishes he made made something for the client rather than himself.
Brandon tells Renee that team challenges are not her thing. He tells her her drop crotch, mall-walking pants are god awful and there is no excuse for them. I couldn’t catch everything he said, but it was bad. Marni tells her that this is simply not her. Between Venny’s pants math and Jamall’s immunity we think Renee is screwed.
Morena tells Venny she would dress her daughter in his look. Marni says it is carnival not Carnivale. Elaine has no idea what his point of view is. She points out that none of these looks go together.
Winners And Losers
Back in the lounge Jamall is very upset he has screwed the team with his immunity. Renee says they all were responsible for their looks and he has nothing to feel sorry about.
Hester wins her third challenge. She tells the judges she wished it was Bishme. Then, just as my heart softens towards her she gets cocky again proclaiming herself a force to be reckoned with. She thinks everyone will now be scared of her. KISS OF DEATH. Remember the last time you got cocky? We got the pastie prom dress. Stay true to yourself, but HUMBLE.
Tessa, The Biggest Loser
Speaking of humble when she and Bishme announce her win in the lounge Tessa says, “We love you but I didn’t love your look!” Does this idiot realize she is being filmed? Bishme is like, seriously? That isn’t cool. She JUST won. Tessa sounds like a petulant five year old when she compares his comments about her look in the last challenge to what she just said. Hester isn’t fazed. Tessa isn’t a villain, just an immature jackass.
Renee is out and very gracious about it. Les and I are heartbroken as we think she could have made it all the way. Les texts that she is no longer sure about Elaine as a judge. Renee points out that it only takes one bad look (or pair of pants) to send you home and she’s okay.
We are hoping there is a secret Siriano save but alas, Christian sends her to clean out her workspace. This one hurt….not going to lie. On a lighter note it is now past midnight as I finish this so……
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVELY LES!!! Have a wonderful weekend everyone. See you next week for another Project Runway Recap! Xoxoxo CJ and Les.