BY: POPCULTUREKELLY
Tonight is Summer House night! After an emotional weekend full of Avengers, Game of Thrones and Fofty cent drama, we need the levity this show brings! This week’s Summer House recap begins with gang, sans Kyle Cooke, arriving at the Hampton’s house. Kyle is still at his family reunion.
Paige DeSorbo swears her name should be Crystal because she was crystal clear with Carl Radke on how to woo her. He has done no wooing. Paige needs the woo!
The house looks immaculate after last week’s debauchery. Amanda Batula and Paige discuss how bummed Amanda is that she could not go and be with Kyle. He will be back at the house tomorrow for his 36th birthday. Meanwhile, Lindsay is struggling with the knowledge that Kyle possibly cheated on Amanda again.
30 Year Old Virgin
The housemates head out to a beautiful bar for drinks. Amanda looks gorgeous in that shade of a deep red lipstick. Kyle not a fan of the dark red so she likes to wear it when he is not around. Lindsay sports a flesh-colored fanny pack, a look that can only be described as HELL NO. At least she has a sense of humor? Kyle facetimes Amanda at the bar. She informs him that she and Paige are having a competition to see who can collect the most phone numbers from random guys. Kyle laughs and is in to it. This is an example of why he and Amanda will probably work out. Most men would not be too happy with their gorgeous girlfriend trolling for numbers. Not our Kyle! He gets a kick out of it.
Danielle Olivera and Jordan Verroi are left alone to talk. It is super awkward. Jordan is defensive when Danielle tries to dig a little deep with him. She finally asks him if he is a virgin. He lies and says no. Lindsay feels that if he is not a virgin then he is Ted Bundy. I agree with her, but honestly do not care enough about him to speculate.
Hey Baby, Can I Get Your Number?
Amanda, Paige and Hannah Berner begin the phone number competition. Amanda is in it to win it! Hannah is interviewing the hot Brit, Dave, for position of boyfriend. However, she is still taking applications. Meanwhile, Carl is upset that Paige is actively dating. Lindsay Hubbard tells him to move on. Instead of dwelling on Paige, he is going to find the answer to a most asked question: how do famous dance moves start? How did Dougie learn to teach his moves? This is an area where he is best suited because Paige is just way out of his league.
Four Sports Cars And A Birthday
The next day, Amanda’s friend Anthony arrives with four Ferrari’s (I think they are all Ferrari’s? I am not a luxury car gal !) for Kyle’s birthday. He is loaning them out for the day for free. Amanda is lucky! Later, everyone will drive to a Monte Carlo party in serious style. Amanda scored serious points for this birthday surprise!
Lindsay and Danielle go upstairs to talk privately. Lindsay confesses to Danielle that there are cheating rumors about Kyle again. Danielle is shocked. From what Lindsay has heard, he was brazenly making out with a girl for hours. Instead of taking Kyle aside and telling him, Lindsay decides to tell Danielle on camera. He is like a brother to her you guys! That’s bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. I feel like Lindsay is a bit too happy to be bone carrier. “He is like a brother,” my ass!
You Just Got Berged
Paige flaunts her very small “driving outfit” in front of Carl and Jordan. Jordan likens Carl to the Titanic as he is big and overconfident. That makes Paige the beautiful sparkling iceberg. The iceberg that sinks him. Jordan is not wrong.
Kyle finally arrives! He is over the moon to drive up to all the expensive cars. They all have fun taking the cars out for a spin. Mad points to Amanda and Anthony for arranging this surprise!
Daddy Issues
Hannah is missing out on the fun. She dresses in her best white blazer to go see her family. She has a heart to heart with her dad. He was her tennis coach, which made things strained in the father/daughter department. They both come close to tears while discussing their love for each other. It is really sweet. I just love Hannah so much. Now I love her dad too.
Amanda and Kyle discuss Kyle’s family reunion. He tells Amanda how he told his parents that he cheated. Amanda is happy that he fessed up. She asks if he is hiding anything else. Of course he says no. Ugh.
The rest of the gang gets gussied up for their night out. Everyone looks gorgeous! They arrive to the Monte Carlo party like rock stars. Everyone continues to get to the bottom of Jordan’s sexual history. No pun intended. Is he a virgin? Hannah takes Jordan aside to ask him if he sleeps with girls. He lies and says yes. Hannah does not believe that Jordan knows what he wants yet.
Subscription To Trust Issues
Danielle and Hannah have paired off with the hot Brits, who clean up nicely. Paige is humiliated that she has been stood up. So, of course she sidles up to Carl. Paige feels that Carl is starting to distance himself from her so she has to reel him back in. Paige tells him that she is upset that he has not wooed her in the way she wants. Carl says it is because he is trying to find a job, which is very stressful. Paige confesses to being cheated on in her last relationship, which is why her guard is so high up. They agree to continue to flirt and see where it leads. Nothing disastrous about this at all guys.
It is Kyle’s turn to question Jordan about his sexual history. Kyle believes that he is a virgin. I think we all do at this point, but do we care? Champagne gets popped, confetti is thrown, a random person ends up in the pool: THIS is how we celebrate Kyle Cooke’s birthday! For some reason not made clear to me, Danielle tells Paige about Kyle’s potential cheating on Amanda. Paige is shook. Paige asks Danielle if Lindsay will get mad that she told her. Danielle says no. But, Danielle was super, super wrong. Danielle takes Lindsay aside to tell her that she told Paige. Lindsay gets VERY mad and walks away from Danielle. AND SCENE!
Next Week on Summer House
Lindsay and Paige discuss the Kyle rumor. Paige ends up in bed with Carl (oh no!). Carl gets a surprise. Lindsay FINALLY tells Kyle about the cheating rumor. Kyle confesses(?) to Amanda while in the pool.Thank you Summer House for bringing the fun and light to us. It has become one of my favorite Bravo shows. I hope everyone has enjoyed it as much as I have! I hope to see more of you in the comments so we can discuss Kyle and his cheating further!
Okay this episode irked me. It’s clear production has put EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE up to interrogate Jordan about his sexuality. Jordan obviously doesn’t feel comfortable telling us his truth. Maybe he is a virgin. Maybe he is gay. Maybe he is both. Maybe he had testicular cancer, lost a gonad and is embarrassed. Maybe he wants to be a virgin when he gets married.
Why on earth are they forcing this storyline. It’s very unkind. It’s fine for everyone not to believe his wild sex stories. But once he had told them twenty times. MOVE ON! Because who really cares?
“Slut Shaming” is a thing that is frowned upon now, but Gay Shaming and/or Virgin Shaming is considered a fun storyarc?
I totally agree with your last line. They way they talk about him being a virgin is like its a big deal, if indeed he is one. Maybe I’m just an old fogey at 55 but is it the norm now days to jump from bed to bed or person to person like those they seem to do?
Yes it’s the norm, at least in NY.
Oh heyyy I’m up!! And you’re watching and commenting! Yaaaaay! I agree with you. But he’s been such an effing douche that it’s hard for me to get too up in arms over it. My honest feeling about it is that he comes from a deeply religious family and loves being on tv but doesn’t want to get deep about anything that personal because he doesn’t want to to reveal anything to them. He could have had his penis removed via alien abduction, who knows. But you’re right, it’s unkind and gross to push anyone this way. Even a douchcanoe like Jordan. Jesus TT, you got me to feel bad about Jordan-miracles all over the place today!! ❤️?
If Jordyn didn’t talk so much shit about all these girls he says he’s been with then it wouldn’t be a story.
It’s his own fault.
That “almost brought home a hooker” was Hilarious!
It’s been my favourite non HW show for ages now
Says I totally agree with you. He’s been bragging about hookups and how many women that he kissed in one night. IMO I think that’s why everybody is talking about it. I MO normally when people brag that they are over compensating.
Sorry Sabs autocorrect changed your name to Says.
That’s been my issue with him this whole time. He is so disrespectful towards women and his stories are just so out there. I do think it’s excessive how many of the housemates grilled him. He’ll reveal himself at some point
Why is everyone so sure Jordan is a virgin? Some of his stories are hard to believe but that makes him a liar and storyteller, not necessarily a virgin. He goes to online church Sunday mornings but that don’t make him a virgin either. I just don’t get it. Maybe I missed something.
Lindsay gets a bit too angry with Danielle for telling Paige about the Kyle rumor. Yeah she told her not to tell anyone but she should have known better. You cant have a secret in that house. I think Lindsay thrives on being in the drama, especially if she can rake Kyle over the coals.
Like TT said. it has to be producer driven. He’s been such a douchebag but TY got me feeling bad for him. Lindsay LOVEEES this!!! This is her moment. She got mad at Danielle for being the one to blab instead of herself. She’s messy as all hell.
Yes, she was HOPING this exact thing would happen.
OR it’s all scripted, and this was how they wanted it…
OMG, when she started screaming I don’t have time for this.
What an f’ing idiot. Yes Lindsay, scream it very loudly so EVERYONE will ask you what is wrong.
They couldn’t just wait til Sunday.
I so HOPE it is all just a misunderstanding for Amanda’s sake.
Paige looks really upset about it.
Then Paige’s guy doesn’t show up (Maybe he couldn’t afford that place?) and she says Maybe I like Carl more than I thought…..UGH!
I don’t watch this show. I have seen one episode this season simply because I did not change the channel after VPR. But I just want to say that Paige and Amanda are absolutely beautiful women. I wish on my best day that I looked like either of them!
I agree! I also love how each has a distinct style. Paige’s haircut takes confidence; she rocks it adorably. Amanda gets to be hippieish while also apparently being a boss at work.
I agree with you on Paige. I think she is absolutely stunning. Amanda looked gorgeous in that red lipstick but I have a hard time truly liking her which means sometimes I don’t find her that attractive. But let’s be honest, on my best day I am not an iota as any of the women on there so I am no one to talk! Lol
I think Paige is adorable. I also feel like she KNOWS she is and she plays it up to the point where its becoming annoying. Amanda I want to know more about. We get it, you want Kyle to grow up blah blah blah but who are you besides his gf? I feel like this was the first episode we got a real glimpse at the woman behind the man. I personally though it was refreshing.
Thanks for the recap Kelly.
I would be not very happy if I was Jordan and in that position. Unnecessary and I am certain uncomfortable for him.
Just hope he had a heads up.
(So disrespectful to him, ugh)
One thing that was funny, the length of time for “don’t repeat, lasts”
Awww thank you Cheryl! And as always, thank you for the Re-tweet!! I agree but I also think that Jordan has been so awful towards women, so I can’t feel too bad for him. I hope he eventually is happy with whom ever he truly is and will go on to be a decent person. But right now he sucks ?
Your very welcome. I can’t be mad if he’s being put in a uncomfortable, position.
He’s around guys who don’t treat women well, perhaps he’s trying to mimic?