It’s time for another RHONY Recap. As we begin, Sonja Morgan is in a drunken spiral at Dorinda’s beautiful dinner table. Art Smith and the Bear Naked Chef have high-tailed it out of there. It’s all over but the crying. And of course someone will soon be sleeping with the fishes. I hope it is Sonja. She’s so drunk she has no idea where she is.
Barbara Kavovit tries to point out that being out in the middle of nowhere, with no cell service and these drunk obnoxious women is kind of scary. Ramona Singer, the official welcome wagon for new RHONY tells her it’s not scary and to just sit there and shut up. I hope that Barbara just beats the holy crap out of Ramona at some point. It would really be beneficial to all involved. As we say in the south, “That one there needs a good old-fashioned ass-whooping.
Ramona Slips Into Something More Comfortable
Oh God. I was hoping that Art Smith and the Bear Naked Chef had escaped with their lives. But bless his heart, the is nekkid Adrian serving another course to women who don’t eat. Ramona is furious that all the attention is on drunk Sonja. So she snuck away to slip into something more comfortable. A tiny black negligée and a thong. What is the proper attire to wear when glancing at handmade pasta made by a James Beard award winning chef?
After dinner, everyone got blackout drunk. As one does in a multimillion dollar summer home. Sonja eventually passed out after her usual sexually predatory behavior. The next day, Sonja doesn’t remember much. The only thing that sticks out to her is that Barbara was trying to flirt with Bethenny. That is Sonja’s private domain. Barbara never even unpacked. She just tried to survive until dawn when she could get the hell back to normal society.
Break On Through To The Other Side?
As the other girls start tricking back to the city, Dorinda and Bethenny take advantage of the gorgeous countryside and go for a nice brisk walk. Bethenny tells Dorinda she found a note on a public notepad at the hotel in Boston. “You look spectacular. You’re amazing as always. ~D” Bethenny says that is what Dennis always used to say to her. Now this is how you introduce the paranormal on a reality TV show. I like how Bethenny says, “And I looked good yesterday!” Bethenny has never believed in this sort of thing until after Dennis died. I sort of get that. When someone close to you dies, weird stuff does happen.
A Different Kind of Blow Out
Luann, Sonja and Ramona all go to get a blowout. Certainly these three have enough hot air of their own without having to purchase more. But apparently, not. Sonja tells Luann that Bethenny is hurt that she was bad mouthing her to Dorinda with jockeying for the best room in Blue Stone Manor. I do not like this Luann. She doesn’t get it. Even when Sonja explains that Bethenny got her Tiger Woods lawyer, and had an intervention for her that kept her job on RHONY and sent her to a fancy rehab, Luann doesn’t seem she owes her common courtesy.
I am tired of all the paid promotions. And so it the poor lady with the fancy flower shop. She couldn’t even keep a straight face until Ramona and Sonja got out the door.
Old Dogs, Dead Daddies And Drunks
Luann and Tinsley meet for lunch. Or more accurately water and coffee at an outdoor cafe. Luann announces that she wants someone to hurry up and invent hover cars so she can get across town in a reasonable amount of time. Every little thing Luann says annoys me this season. Last season I hated Dorinda. This season, it’s Luann. How does this happen?
I really don’t need all the details of how Tinsley’s dad died. I don’t need this conversation at all. This should be Tinsley and a counselor off camera. This is not something that needs to be on TV. I’m fast forwarding. These people need to be fabulous or go away. Is this me just being cranky during Lent?
IV’s, Eyelashes and Ex-Boyfriends
I do not understand this episode. Why is Bethenny getting an IV while being worked on by a glam squad in a salon where her ex-boyfriend is just standing around a bar? What is this place? Russ is apparently someone with a staffing service. Bethenny says they were so in love last summer. Then Dennis came in hot saying he wanted to marry her. I’m sorry. Have you seen this Russ guy? It doesn’t get better than this Russ guy. I am not buying this story AT ALL. Sorry. Nothing against Dennis. But Bethenny was never that into Dennis in that way. Dennis was her person. Her best friend with benefits. Russ is a hot guy in an outdoor shower in Tahiti. PUHLEASE. I love you Bethenny, but girl this is one tall tale.
I guess all of that happened at Bethenny’s new apartment. We haven’t seen much of that. Now all the weird groups of people and her dog makes sense. Not dropping her panties the moment she saw Russ does not. Bethenny looks drop dead gorgeous in her sparkly silver pants and floor length black top with her flat abs completely exposed. She looks thinner than she did at the Hamptons. The suggested attire is sparkles. So pretty much ninety percent of their reunion dress rejects are in play.
Dinner At Bethenny’s
Why are these bitches, other than Bethenny, SOFA KING rude to Barbara? And how to they have time to be when they are slurping down all of the expensive food at Bethenny’s house. Can they not afford to feed themselves? They are acting like me at 18 at prime rib night at that fancy club for old men in Atlanta.
Luann arrives an hour and fifteen minutes late just like the production schedule was written. With everyone there, dinner is served. Dorinda is drunk. So of course she starts swinging at Barbara. She gives a backhanded toast to Barbara for surviving the shark room. Barbara complimented the linens and comforter. That should have ended things. But Dorinda just keeps going. She says that the shark is probably not the scariest thing she has ever woken up to. Really Dorinda? You wake up next to John. Shut your mouth.
Truth Or Dare
/Heavy sigh. Look. I hate when people say someone is too old to wear something. Or too old to do something. That is not what I am about to say. What I am saying is that when the average age of your friend group at the dinner table is 55 years old, that sane people do not want to play truth or dare. What’s next? Spin the bottle? Seven minutes in heaven? Are they going to giggle over the latest episode of Tiger Beat magazine? Go outside and ride their big wheels up and down the sidewalk? What is with this ridiculous method of production to bring up topics to upset someone’s apple cart? Tonight that apple cart belongs to Tinsley.
I can’t. Let’s just get to the part where the eviscerate Tinsley and then pretend like that was not the script the entire time. Ramona has to go on a date. So she leaves. Where does she really go when she dips out early? What better things does she have to do? I suppose anything is better than this.
Tinsley is drunk. She doesn’t want to play. They dare her to call Scott and have phone sex. She needs a break. I thinks she and Lu went for a cigarette off camera but still wired for sound. Tinsley tells Luann that Scott would kill her if she called him with some sort of nonsense like that. I don’t blame him.
The Beatdown Of Tinsley
Bethenny is in the other room saying she’s never kissed a woman in her life until she just kissed Barbara on a dare. Tinsley can’t call her boyfriend? Bethenny, I feel like we have seen you making out with all of these women before. I think you made out with some of the on the Instagram videos from the drunken free-for-all in the Berkshires. Do you not remember any of this? Because I do and I can’t remember shit?
Drunk Dorinda tells Barbara to stay out of the conversation and stop being an interloper. What is wrong with these drunk ass old bitches?
Finally, Bethenny and the girls all get Tinsley to break. Are y’all happy now?
This was the worst episode of RHONY ever. Thus the worst RHONY Recap ever.
Next week, Mario films at a bar with some of the ladies. Including Mario. I remember writing about that but I can’t find the post. Tinsley joins the circus. Scott breaks up with Tinsley. I can hardly wait. /sigh
Cranky during Lent. Yes that is a thing. Me too. Happy Easter !
Thanks for the recap, I was fighting off sleep but by the sounds, this episode will wait til after Nana nap time! Still, I bet it was a better episode than the last BH?
Lol. I don’t think this was the worst episode ever- think of the Cindy Barshop season, or insufferable Aviva, and your recap was funny and right. That guy was so hot, but B is all about the Benjamins after her divorce. She would definitely pick a richer Dennis over a hotter guy and that’s assuming the hot guy didn’t cool off.
Lu was acting bitchy this episode too. Ramona is hilarious and thinks she is hot as hell. Poor Tinsley. She seems so nice and needs to have the confidence to get a good guy and to start dating other guys as soon as Scott wouldn’t commit after being together so long. She probably kept hanging in til he dumped her.
I am really confused by the whole Bethenny/Dennis dynamic and the timeline. Bethenny was crying over photos of the night they got engaged, and then flash forward to Russ and how they were in love but Dennis came in hot wanting to get married. Then she’s with some guy she was with before Dennis passed. I’m not judging. I’m just really confused.
She and Dennis fought a lot. In public. They’ve known each other for years so he was someone she felt safe with. There didn’t seem to be a lot of romance on her end. They were very, very close. But not really suited for a romantic relationship/marriage. She dated several hot guys that were more her type sexually. This is simply my observations over the years. Dennis is who you call if you get a bad diagnosis, or your dog dies or you need a close friend and confident. He was married on paper so the whole engagement thing makes no sense. And she was dating the Boston guy before Dennis died.
Bethenny sucks at relationships.
Bethenny can’t seem to keep her dating timeline straight. She has said in interviews she started dating Paul in 2017. Dennis supposedly proposed in April 2018 but we are to believe her when she said she did not tell anyone. Bethenny loves attention and makes everything public. She then dated the cute guy during the summer of 2018 but was caught on camera kissing Paul in September 2018. Dennis died in August 2018 and she indicated they were still together at the time of his death. I call BS.
Russ looked like a younger hotter Tom Cruise who was clearly into her. WOW. I don’t know who the other suitors are but I would move Russ to the top of the list.
Yes, he must love her money. Sorry, but that guy could get anyone.
Here’s what annoyed me. The whole “all I said was I dare you to call you’re bf “. That’s not all they said and they know they were pushing hot buttons. They wanted to browbeat her into admitting her relationship isn’t working. That’s it. It was humiliation. And then to pretend that wasn’t the case was even meaner. They see her as weak and they pick in her.
I agree 100%. I would suspect most men wouldn’t want to be on camera taking an ultimatum set by a bunch of hyenas. So immature and so mean girl. I don’t care what the status of ones reationship is, its truly not anyone’s place to shame anyone into anything.
You don’t touch the Morgan letters is my new favorite saying.
It has to be said very dramatically and followed by lots of hand gestures, “YOU DON”T TOUCH the Morgan letterssss!!!”
It’s along the same lines as “NO WIRE HANGERS” 😆
It’s almost as good as “JOVANI!!!!”
Russ Theriot is male perfection. Not ashamed to say I checked his Instagram. I’d love too see him in a story line with Tinsley!
Lol. They would make a great looking couple
yes if it was just him and a mirror in that couple! 🙂
Well sadly (for bethenny) he’s got a baby on the way with a hot model. I checked his Instagram just now too and in the photos he’s tagged in he’s got a little family happening. That baby is going to be gorgeous.
I wanted to see Amazing Race, so only caught RHNY on commercial breaks. First break had Betthany boohooing over photos months after Dennis death and when she has moved on . Honestly, she’s boohoo-d on camera over the years more than all the other housewives combined. I am expecting her to show up in widow weeds on the show .And she’s always critiquing other’s relationships . Sheesh, this woman works my last nerve.
Next break was Tinsley refusing to call her boyfriend. I am rooting for her to find Mr. Right. In fact, I am just rooting for her.
WAIT! AMAZING RACE HAS STARTED????
I think we are all seeing why Luann got arrested ….she is just an arrogant, entitled bitch who along with Ramona does need a good ass whooping. We see Sonja and Dorinda get knee knocking drunk and don’t assault police officers but not Luann…I don’t forsee her sobriety going well
Completely agree Jenny! After she has seen herself season after season, it just baffles me why she purposely continues to portray herself so self-righteously and in such an annoyingly entitled manner. I have not been able to stand her at all ever since around season 2 when she got on the etiquette Book boat. She’s just straight-up dumbfoundedly delusional about her very own self-awareness, and I find that extremely immature and narcissistic for someone of her age. She really really just needs to get over herself
Agree, agree, agree! She is so annoying & obnoxious. It wouldn’t matter if anyone tried to give her honest advice on toning it down, she’s too in love with herself! Can not stand her self righteousness & delusion.
I was posting about Ramona, forgot to mention her name, sorry.
I just can’t with LuAnn’s sense of superiority and entitlement!
Is there some where on the internet I can watch this for free
Why on earth would you want to do that if you don’t have to?
🙊
Luann’s go to release valve is extinguished and it’s a struggle to stay the course. Hence her personality tics go into overdrive, that said fighting for sobriety or not, rude is rude and she needs to be cool not all uncool.
I greatly enjoy seeing Bethenny and Ramona laugh and get along, they play off each other quite well.
I don’t think Barbara has ill intent, but if she wants to be around next season she has to jump in and do battle for the execs when there’s an opening.
Some guys are more private, so I get Tinsley’s reluctance to call Scott. Though they are both better off broken up, it was so not working .
Luann is the worst this season. Why do we need a hoverboard when there is this great thing that goes Under the city at a fast rate with no traffic. It’s the SUBWAY, Countess, look for it, it is literally under your feet.
and Russ is super hot
luanne entitled and obnoxious! she’s a dry drunk and miserable sober. she belongs in rehab not on this show and entertaining in bars. so entitled – doesn’t fulfull her probation or meetings she’s supposed to attend. apparently has forgotten everything b did for her/participated in saving her life. lu always put lu first – saw reruns from season 1 or 2 recently – her young son begging her not to go out all the time and spend time w/them like other parents – lu thought it was funny – had to go out w/her niece and act like she was in her twenties!!!!
B on the other hand, really seemed to get around – hot russ, the boston guy and engaged to dennis! what was it? must be very difficult for d family to see this play out on national tv as her storyline. also, i would think all this is great ammo for her ex in their child custody case? exposing their child to all these relationships… bryn is older now and will soon read all this press written about mom and dad and their fighting/battles/court cases. b was downright cruel to tinsley – has to bring herself or someone to tears and then swoop in and be the fixer/advisor. she is the last person anyone should take relationship advise from.
scary to see how easily sonja reverts back to the morgan delusion train – especially when drinking. she can’t let go – her daughter is a morgan! not her! move on! she’s now been divorced probably many more years then the length of her marriage.
tinsley very nice and jabs her mother takes at her very sad. she is desperately seeking a wealthy husband as her clock ticks away – scott is obviously not the one. sad when she talked about her dad.
barb just needs to go!!!
I like the way you think!!
TT – I agree with your comment that weird things happen after someone close to you dies. I was never into the whole afterlife/spiritual visitor thing until my husband died. About a month after his passing, all sorts of weird things started happening that I could not explain. I finally gave up trying to make logical sense of it and started to roll with it, talking to the apparitions (I know, weird, creepy etc.), taking the coincidences seriously, heeding warnings, etc. I am now a firm believer through personal experience. When I hear someone else speaking about a weird event regarding a deceased loved one, I believe them now, instead of my old opinion that they were either delusional, or reaching for something not there.
Every little thing Luann says annoys me this season………..boy oh boy; me too. Ugh.
I was so disappointed not to have Art Smith’s food on exhibition; I wanted to know all about it. What a miss.
Wow. Come back for more please, Russ. Pretty please.
These women do not perverse Art Smith.
I was so mad at Ramona last episode when she said, “Is THAT (Art) the Naked Chef?! I sure hope not, that’s false advertising!”
RAMONA, THAT’S ART SMITH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? SHOW SOME REPECT! But then again it’s Ramona….she’s classless.
That was supposed to say “deserve” not “perverse”…ugh..
Totally agree. Those drunk bitches are not worthy of Art Smith. OR Adrian.
They think they are above it all. She reminded me of a book/movie, “The helpers” as Ramona referred to the staff. She should watch “The Help” or have the help give her a taste of her own pie…
I know this is incredibly rude of me, sorry but no one deserves it more than Ramona.
What in the name of holy hell is up with the Countess’ new Bilious Baby-Talk Voice at the salon? That petulant “If Lu want to stay in that woom, let Lu stay in that woom…” with her lower lip pooched out made her look like the love child of Elmer Fudd and Cruella DeVille.
Yes, that was a horrid scene. I don’t like this Lu at all!
I’m loving Tinsley this season, but if Scott didn’t have money, she wouldn’t be chasing him. She’s much, much, much hotter than him and seems like a genuinely nice person with good manners. I hope Tinsley finds a guy that loves and marries her and then she can use those eggs to make real babies. Good luck, Tinsley!
I like Tinsley too. She is what she is. I think she honestly loves Scott but it’s true, if he didn’t have money, he wouldn’t look nearly as attractive. it’s amazing how much taller a man is when he stands on his wallet. Dating in NYC is not for the weak. Men in their 70’s want hot 32 year olds.
Men from NY are picky AF, but I really think any woman can get any man she wants if she plays it smart. Men are so easy to fool, I should write a how to book.
Every time Tinsley insists she loves Scott, she looks down as she’s saying it, which is one of the ways to tell if someone is lying. I just don’t believe they really love each other; otherwise they would not keep choosing to be apart and would not keep breaking up. I’ve always liked Tinsley on RHONY despite the airhead aspect, and I really started to feel sorry for her this week. I guess if you think about it we should have known she has issues – she’s 45, hasn’t managed to build a healthy relationship despite seeming to be very eligible, actually is deluded enough to think she can snap her fingers and start a family and have kids at her age. Only surprised it’s taken this long to reveal the daddy issues. She is good at hiding her troubles which I gather is a southern trait.
Yea, I don’t think she loves him either, but I think she wants to prove her mother wrong and maybe prove to herself she can get him. With a mother like Dale, and then hearing the problems her dad had, I see why she has the issues she does. If I were her friend, I’d drill it into her head that she’s a lovely, beautiful person and she should believe in and love herself and expect whoever she’s with to value her. She should see a good therapist and distance herself from that wanker of a mother.
Isn’t it amazing how we can determine the content of someone’s heart by watching a scripted reality show.
Poor Tinsley, she seems to meek to run with these bitches.
Looks like we’re all in agreement about LuAnn. Though Tinsley didn’t do a great job articulating her thoughts, I understand and agree with her sentiments towards LuAnn’s expectations that everyone walk on eggshells and cave to her demands because of HER decisions. Yes, alcoholism is a disease but people like to LuAnn make it difficult to have any sympathy.
Poor Tinsley is searching for the life she already had with Topper but threw away. Hopefully she finds her groove again. I like her light and bright presence she brings to the show and wish her well.
Sonja is scary delusional when it comes to the Morgan name but at least she bounces back and becomes fun again.
I don’t like Barbara. She’s an instigator who hasn’t brought a drop of fun to the table at this point. I was all for Dorinda’s snark at the party.
Sorry Bethenny’s but I’m not buying the story that she dropped Russ for Dennis. If so, she needs to be committed to the nearest psych unit ! LOL
Poor Tinsley. Her mother has completed fucked her up in the head. It’s clear that she’s taught Tinsley that her only value is in the man she marries and the children she may be have. How amazing would it be to see Tinsley come into her own and give her mom the big ole finger? Forget about an amazing storyline – that’d be a show I would watch.
Ever since I’ve watched RHONY, I have never seen LuAnn have genuine moment of connection with anybody! Everything she’s ever said or done feel forced and scripted. She is so concerned about people’s perception of her but lacks any self awareness.
Has LuAnn ever verbally admitted to being an alcoholic or binge drinker? IMO she doesn’t seem to think she actually has a problem (in any area of her life) which is why I feel like she’s just as big of an asshole now as she was in the past. I’ve seen people go through the steps and it doesn’t just save them from alcohol, it completely changed their lives. LuAnn just seems like someone who is waiting for their next excuse to have another drink. Again, I would love to see a storyline of LuAnn actually owning whatever issues she has with alcohol and going through what it takes to be a better person.
You may say I’m a dreamer…
Bethenny…ugh. She is the epitome of someone who has often been the quickest wit in the room and thinks it’s a reflection of her wit rather than the rooms she’s been in. She really goes for Tinsley, who is the only one of them with any actual manners. This whole season has been scene after scene of women who had spectacularly messy divorces lecturing Tinsley on her relationship, and she has never called them on it. I’m not even a Tinsley fan, but she has more basic class than all these women together.
I am sick to death of the histrionics over Dennis. Everyone realizes how Dennis made his money, right? The fact that she was willing to associate with him says a lot.
How’d he make his money? I’m dying to know.
He’s always had it. Mom was a lawyer and dad a neurologist
Good points on B. On Dennis, there’s someone who investigates folks with shady dealings basically who said something similar about him and inferentially her. She was raised in the horse racing business and with those peeps so… It makes sense if you think about it so I agree with you. Takes nothing away though about hard work and being smart, which he was and she is.