Tonight we need the Summer House gang to give us some light. With Notre Dame on fire, it has been a dark day. If this week’s episode is like last week, we will have a much needed reprieve. So let us dive in to this week’s Summer House Recap ! Our gang has left the St. Barth’s party and is now drunk at the house. The next morning Kyle Cooke and Amanda Batula decide to put a deposit down ($22,000!) on a beautiful apartment in the city. Amanda is nervous but getting an apartment together fixes everything, right?
Meanwhile, Paige DeSorbo is waterboarding Carl Radke. Just kidding, she is teaching him how an ice cold face dunk will take away the drunk face puffiness. I feel like Carl should be showing Paige hangover tricks, no? Ever the gentleman, Carl pretends that Paige is showing him a mind blowing trick. He is happy that things seem to be progressing with her. The gang decides to throw a Christmas in July party in honor of Amanda and Jordan Verroi’s upcoming birthdays. They choose secret Santa’s out of a pineapple vase, as one does.
Next Jordan facetimes with his mom. We see she is a beautiful woman who seems very sweet. How did Jordan happen? She hopes he has a great birthday but I am left with more questions than answers. How did he get so douchey? Hopefully we find out soon.
Summertime In The City
The rest of the gang pack up to head back to the city. Danielle Olivera is moving from an apartment she shares with four roommates to living on her own. She is very excited. Lindsay Hubbard stops by Kyle Cooke’s apartment. She helps him pick a picture for a framed birthday gift Kyle has planned for Amanda. He is trying to make a grand gesture to win Amanda over for good. Lindsay warns Kyle to take this seriously. It seems like he is, he is already thinking engagement with Amanda.
Still in the City, my faves Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo are at the Museum of Sex. Hannah is an oversharer. I love her for it. She tells Paige that her mother taught her how to give a blow job. Paige grew up very opposite so she is not comfortable discussing sex. Hannah is getting a gift for Lindsay, her Secret Santa. Paige reveals that she and Carl Radke do not talk during the week. She is disappointed that even though she told him she wanted to be courted, he does not make the effort.
Color Carl Jealous
On the drive to the Hamptons, Hannah tells Carl, Paige and Jordan that she had sex the night before. His name is Dave, he is British. She has invited him to the big Christmas party. He is bringing a friend for Paige, which does not sit well with Carl. Once the gang arrives, they make a list of what needs to be done for the party. Carl cannot express to Paige that he is hurt. So he takes his anger out on the decorations and the rest of the gang. Oh Carl. Grinch green does not look good on you.
Danielle arrives with a tree and lots more decorations. Amanda and Paige make cookies while discussing the apartment situation. Paige asks how Amanda’s parents feel about her moving in with Kyle. She strangely equates it with getting her nose pierced: her parents just stay out of it. Not even the same realm, but sure.
The next morning Lindsay Hubbard gets a Facetime from Peymon, the St. Barth’s guy from last week. He calls her from Greece which impresses her. Danielle and Paige leave to get facials instead of helping prepare for the party, which Carl takes exception to. He is disappointed that they are not spending more one on one time together.
Carl reveals to Kyle that Christmas is tough for him. He feels very lonely on holidays since his parents divorce. Carl is now looking to find a wife to start his own family with. See, this is why I have a soft spot for him. His douche comes from a deep place of hurt. Carl 3.0 really has me rooting for him.
While getting facials, Paige asks Danielle about her dating past with Carl. Danielle says it was like a roller coaster with little communication. They make a pact to tell each other if they like the same guy so one can back off. Hopefully that sticks.
Christmas In July!
Back at the house, Hannah and Amanda are putting up outdoor decorations. Hannah opens up about her last relationship being a difficult one. Whilst discussing Kyle’s newfound maturity, he moons them from the balcony. Please, please, please NEVER change Kyle Cooke! Everyone goes in to get dressed for the party. They are decked out in their best Santa outfits. They exchange secret Santa gifts. Paige gifts Amanda with a key to her apartment in case things go south with Kyle. Kyle gives Amanda her birthday gifts. They are pictures from when they first got together to decorate their new apartment with. Kyle tells her that they have been approved for the apartment. She is very happy.
Dave, Hannah’s friend, arrives with his buddy Max. They are both British, which makes them super sexy. Carl wishes Jordan a happy birthday. Jordan turns that conversation into some weird infomercial about himself. Carl immediately regrets his kindness, but no good deed goes unpunished. Danielle is crushing on Max, the hot Brit who is there for Paige. Max and Paige are hitting it off, which sends Carl running back into the house to regroup.
A Total Cakewalk
They bring out a cake and sing happy birthday to Jordan and Amanda. Carl proclaims himself to be an epic grand gesture guy. While walking out with some cake for Paige, he slips and falls into the pool. Paige does not think that was cute…it was supposed to be? So odd. Danielle fawns over Max while Paige is in the house getting a drink. Lindsay pulls Carl aside to ask what is wrong. Paige and Amanda are hide as they listen to Carl and Lindsay talk. He does not want to date someone who plays games. He feels like Paige is just leading him on. Lindsay brings it back to herself and Everett (of course). She tells Carl that Paige may not be “the one”, so he should move on. Carl agrees and says “done”. Paige hears that and is pissed.
Next week on Summer House looks like a holy hell kind of episode: Kyle looks at engagement rings. Danielle and Max hook up unbeknownst to Paige. Paige tells Carl that she overheard his conversation with Lindsay. Hannah falls and ends up in the ER. Lindsay reveals that Kyle has cheated on Amanda twice! WHAT? Kyle fesses up to cheating (just the one time?) to his parents. See you all in the comments section. This week was great but next week looks like a doozy! Be sure to come back for next week’s Summer House Recap!