By CJ Bomb
It’s the finale of Project Runway All Stars! Then we focus on to Project Runway on Bravo.
Hey everyone! Sorry I missed last week’s Project Runway All Stars Recap, it was a perfect storm of several different work events converging and I was scrambling to get everything done. Thank you to our fearless leader TT for doing the Project Runway All Stars Recap: Modern Families. While I loved the idea of the family challenge there was some unflattering stuff going on. But of course this being Lifetime, instead of cutting a designer and moving on, or giving two-day challenges and cutting more people, we are keeping ALL FOUR designers and slogging it out to the very end. All I can do is pray that this is, in fact, the end. So pray with me people.
All the designers are dressed in their finest to go to the Baccarat Hotel. Each one thinks that winning this would make them “the best of the best”. Somewhere Christian Siriano is laughing so hard champagne is coming out of his nose. The final challenge is creating a collection with six looks and a theme left up to the designers. They have a budget of $3000 and some support in the workroom. Dmitry asks if it is going to be Georgina Chapman or Isaac Mizrahi.
Four Designers, Four Days
They have FOUR days. Four fucking days. Well that should keep the quality level high especially with whatever dumbass twist will be thrown at them. As I have said before, this is when it becomes Project Best Tailor….aka who can sew the fastest. Evan is very gracious and tells us that even though he is going to win, he is sure that the others will show us nice things too. Great.
They walk into the room next door where they are casting models. No different body types to see here folks. I think this is a tragedy. Tomorrow night, I will expound more on that, as well as a few other subjects when I recap the real Project Runway. I digress…
Evan Biddell is basing his collection on his feelings throughout the season, being paranoid, tired, entitled, etc, and the idea that the Queen of England is a reptile. AKA, the greatest conspiracy theory ever. How very McQueen of you sir.
Irina Shabayeva loves art and wants to deconstruct shapes into pure geometry a la cubism. That should be doable in four days. I guess if anyone can pull of this construction it is Irina Superbitch. I mean Shabayeva. Oh Michelle Lesniak. Her collection is inspired by the 1970’s. Not the curtains or bedspreads of the 1970’s, mind you…She says that her favorite album is Neil Young’s Harvest Moon, which was released in the 90’s. But to be fair has a 70’s vibe. She’s calling it Harvest Mood. Sigh. Dmitry Sholokhov is doing faces. He says it’s very ambitious and bold. I think it’s very eighties.
They have ONE FUCKING HOUR at Mood to blow $3000. Irina is getting fabric with substance. Dimitry is getting shiny things. Evan is using cork and croc print. Michelle? Peach organza? Good lord.
Evan is using the royal blue croc print to make a Game of Thrones suit. Michelle makes me love her again by pretending to be announcer in a fashion competition and saying that “Michelle is making ugly old lady stuff out of old wallpaper.” I do like the self-aware humor there which is why despite her missteps, she is always one of my favorites. Dmitry is aiming for two looks a day. Irina has made triangles today. That’s it. Hopefully she kicks it into high gear tomorrow.
Help Has Arrived! Plus SHE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED!
When the designers walk into the workroom the next day they are greeted by magical elves. Sean Kelley is there to help Michelle, Christina Exie is also back to help Evan, MONDO (Project Runway All Stars Season One Winner_ has deigned to return to help Irina AND SWEET MOTHER OF ALL THAT IS HOLY WHY? WHY? WHY? I HATE THAT I EVEN HAVE TO TYPE HER NAME. Yes. It’s true. Banana woman is back people. To help Dmitry. Erin Robertson. Like a bad urban myth where you say her name three times and she appears. I will be calling her Banana. TT can yell at me, or edit me, I don’t care. She won on gimmicks and appliques. Evan is thrilled he has Christina. Mondo is intimidated by Irina? No Mondo, no.
Anne Fulenwider Arrives To “Help”
Anne Fulenwider asks the helpers to leave to she can “help” the designers. First up is Michelle. I think that Anne has Stockholm Syndrome when it comes to Michelle’s fabrics as she’s now enthralled by them. When she tells Anne that she’s going for the seventies country moon goddess vibe I’m mentally transported back to all the Grateful Dead shows I went to with my boyfriend (now husband) while I was still trying to pretend to like the band for his sake.
These fabrics look like Stevie Nicks threw up in the workspace. Anne loves the green neoprene, lace and leather coat. She even tries it on. She loves the peach organza? Seriously? The key is making it elegant. She says it could be amazing or a hot mess. Pretty much the theme of Michelle’s whole season. I’m hoping she pulls it out.
Will Dmitry Be The Three Time Champion on Project Runway?
She tells Dmitry that he could be the triple winner. I’m sure that thought hasn’t even crossed his mind. She loves the cut out faces on his red jacket and I have to say it does look cool. He has gone naughty Golden Girls again with a long jetted black, yet sheer see-through gown. She pulls over a piece that is giving her romance because while she thinks everything is a little stiff and needs more drama and romance. Dmitry promises there will be a spark.
Irina explains her idea and Anne likes it, and the pyramids she has created but she thinks everything looks too similar and there needs to be an ebb and flow. It can’t be all cerebral with no visceral. Irina is flummoxed. She tells her to make the jacket with pants. Irina thinks that she has a point but how do you do that IN FOUR DAYS. It’s hard. Yes it is. It’s Project Runway.
Anne doesn’t seem impressed by Evan’s royal reptile collection. She says they look like Evan-like pieces, but she doesn’t see any cohesion at all. She says she is worried. He takes this in and decides to listen to her.
The helpers return and everyone reviews the critique. Irina is trying to get all her silhouettes done by the end of the day. Michelle is prepping on her statement piece so she can walk in and see it tomorrow with fresh eyes. The next day she notes that the challenges where she has been the most successful are the ones where she tried to be the most innovative.
Mondo gives the best pep talk ever to a crying Irina. Why can’t she be more human on a regular basis? Obviously her mother’s cancer is on her mind. In this moment I want to hug her. I’m sure it will pass as she would probably shove me across the room. Mondo takes care of her. She thanks him and he tells her that this is her dream and he’s going to try and help her as much as he can. Sweet moment even as I remember how little sympathy Irina had for anyone having any emotions through this competition.
Everyone tries to fit and figure out sequencing. Evan teaches his models how to slither. What the fuck is Evan wearing? It’s a like a 80’s Locklear skater outfit. Michelle plans to go from wow moment to subtle to ending with another wow moment. Irina is just happy she had looks for each model to try on. After fittings the models leave and editing commences.
The helpers come in and tell the designers that they only have three hours left to work with them. Everyone scurries to figure out what needs to be prioritized. They frantically sew and then with encouraging parting words the helpers say goodbye. Francesca Amfitheatrof, branding consultant extraordinaire comes in give the designers advice. She gives a lot of generic branding advice when they could be sewing.
Everyone seems to be in a good place even though there are a lot of finishes to be done. Once more proving Mondo is awesome, he has left notes for Irina on what is left to be done on each look. She seems to be in a better place today. There is champagne and cake for the designers and hopefully no last minute surprises. They share a kind moment and it’s nice to see everyone being nice.
In the interest of keeping this two-hour finale under eight pages I’m going to hold off any more commentary till the actual runway.
Alyssa comes out and looks lovely. She’s in a sexy jumpsuit that works with the girls and doesn’t cut her off in the wrong places. I’m trying very hard to imagine this on Karlie Kloss. Because let’s face it, Karlie is a six-foot fashion alien. And, Alyssa is just trying to do well with what God gave her. As are the rest of us. Good hair and makeup too, girl. Nice way to end it. Random people and designers flash across the screen…is that an Ulli sighting? The guest judge is…..Andrea Riseborough. Okay. Going to reserve judgment until I hear what she has to say. Did they borrow this set from a burlesque show in Atlantic City? The beads? No.
Irina Fearless Feminine and the Strength of the Modern Woman
The kimono coat with obi belt is working with the leather piping and the triangle shapes. There is a hard and soft element to the next look with a structured black top and a lined acid green (this is how you do that color Michelle) asymmetrical flowy skirt. I’m not as thrilled with the red peplum top and the asymmetrical athletic looking pant. The next look is very basic yet not. A deceptively simple red dress with structured shapes that somehow flatter the model instead of making her look huge.
Maybe it’s just me, but the lace triangle pyramids that Mondo spent endless hours creating are not really showing up on camera. I’m guessing they look awesome in person. The pants are well done. I’m confused by the last look which is a lace pantsuit. Overall I like it. I got Thierry Mugler which is a good thing.
Evan Biddell Mixing Street Style with Aggressive Elegance the Regal Reptilian
Isaac is does not look impressed when the cork mini dress walks down the runway. It’s a cute dress made of cork. The back is fabulous. That dress looks like it sauntered over to Michelle’s corner and had a baby with her boho collection for the next look. I’m not sure about the drapey sleeves with the cork suspenders. It’s McQueen lite for me. Again, the third look is a boring top with a cork skirt. I do like the Vampira suit…wait I just saw the legs. Now we have skort looking thing with a mini jacket and copper pellets on the shorts. The final dress is a dramatic silhouette with curves accentuated by copper paillettes. I’m sorry guys, I’m not really getting street and the serpent aspect was too literal for me. I felt as though it was derivative.
Michelle Lesniak A Textured Baroque Romance Novel that starts off Nice and ends up Naughty AKA Harvest Mood
Okay, I am NOT a boho chic girl. But I do love the first dress Michelle sends down, peach organza be damned. Somehow the flow and structure and mixed fabrics make it work. I’m ok with the fabric choice on the second look, but the cold shoulder silhouette is kind of basic. Ditto with the next mini-dress. I wish I could see the details up close. Ok this is a sentence I never thought I would type: I’m LOVING this peach organza jumpsuit. Flowy and sophisticated. The green coat is now a coat vest and I’m trying to get over the color. But that’s my own issue. It looks cool. The last dress is a sister to the first. LOVE. Elegant flowy, yet structured at the same time. LOVE the sleeve. Referencing YSL Hippie Chic on this last one. High compliment.
Dmitry Sholokhov Personal Journey as an Artist and a Human Being
LOVING the structured cut out jacket and the pants are awesome with the cut out tuxedo stripe. And now we are back in the eighties with enormous shoulders and sequins on a black mini that Joan Crawford would have ROCKED. We have another cut out jacket with a fringe skirt. And a mustard dress with a BIG off shoulder piece. Confused by this. There Is a see through sequined number with lots of fringe. What happened to the flowy lace dress? It’s now a mini dress? I feel like of lot of this is ice dancing after party attire with a little Rifat Ozbek and Jovani. Dmitry would kill it at Jovani.
Ok guys, I’m picking either Dmitry or Michelle to win. Love them both for different reasons. Am impressed with what everyone did considering the time frame.
The Judges’ Critiques
Isaac Mizrahi thinks Irina did a phenomenal job and confirms my suspicions that the lace looks better in person as he loves those looks in particular. Georgina Chapman thinks that the lace geometry worked exceptionally well vs the structured flat primary pieces. Seeing it now more up close I agree. The lace top is structured yet soft. Andrea Riseborough also loves the last two looks especially the white lace. Alyssa loves that she showed everyone of her techniques. Alyssa is proud of her.
Georgina thinks Evan has a different way of looking at things and that makes his work exciting. She would have like to have one clean look to set everything off. Isaac thinks the frock coat brings it down because anyone would wear it, whereas the rest are things no one has seen before (beg to differ) but if they were to pick the winner based on that Evan would win. Evan freaks. Andrea disagrees and actually WROTE in her notes: I would wear this which makes Isaac laugh. Alyssa thinks the cork dress is a work of art and the body con dress is beautiful.
Isaac thinks the sleeve of the finale dress is “the best thing in the world”. He says the first dress and last dress are pillars and he loves the simplicity of the “pyjama” (the jumpsuit). He thinks she hit it out of the park. Georgina thinks her clothes have a lot of humor and fun in them. She loves the green coat. Andrea thinks the looks are demure but sexy. Alyssa says the last dress is the best thing she has ever done on Project Runway and she loves the color palette.
Dmitry cries. Georgina says it beautiful and ambitious. She says the workmanship is pretty masterful. She adores the first look and loves the everything but thinks the mustard dress belongs with a different collection. Isaac agrees and thinks it reads cartoonish. He loves this missing tuxedo stripe of the pant. Andrea would love to wear the beaded jumpsuit on the red carpet and loves the lst dress with the lace. Alyssa LOVES the exaggerated ruffle.
MICHELLE WINS PROJECT RUNWAY ALL STARS!!!!!! Dmitry is a total dick in his talking head. He loves Michelle but what he put out were masterpieces? Dude, if you were making masterpieces you wouldn’t keep coming ON this dog and pony show. (He does hug her when they come back out) Michelle tells Isaac that she wrote him many years ago and he wrote her back (handwritten on his own stationary) telling her in order to make use clothes not look home sewn she must use an iron. Good advice. Well that’s it for Project Runway All Stars . Goodbye Lifetime!! Hello Project Runway on Bravo! Tell us, do you agree with the “World Champion” choice?
See you tomorrow night! Xoxo CJ