Look at me getting this week’s Teen Mom 2 recapped before the next episode airs! It’s a Christmas Miracle in March!
It’s time for Briana DeJesus and Devoin Austin play like family and take Nova to Puerto Rico for her birthday. Briana’s mom, Roxanne and her sister Brittany, and all the girls are going on the trip as well. Briana has decided to hyphenate Devoin’s last name on to Nova’s name. She’s acting like this is some sort of benevolent act on her part. When they talk to Nova, she is clearly not old enough to understand what the name change means. She seems confused.
Of course they are staying at a deluxe oceanfront resort. Because this is what life as a Teen Mom with three children, little to no child support and absent fathers looks like. It’s paradise, y’all! Who wants to jet ski!? Devoin is living his best life. It is his first time out of the country and his first time on a jet-ski! I feel like he deserves it after so many years with Roxanne and Britanny up in his business.
Barbara Evans Goes To NYC
Barbara Evans is in NYC city to meet up with Jace’s father, Andrew Lewis, to assess his level of flakiness. She’s staying in a room with round windows so I have to look up to see where that is. It’s Dream Hotel if you are curious. It apparently was once some sort of Maritime building and thus the whole porthole thing. It’s in the meatpacking district. Not to be confused with the Village. I could see people making that mistake. #TastelessGayJoke
Later, Barbara Evans goes to a restaurant to meet up with Andrew. And, he doesn’t show up. I suppose the flakiness question has been answered. After an hour and a half of waiting, Barbara leaves a message on his phone basically telling him he has lost his shot at visitation with Jace. Later, Andrew calls and he is in Florida with his father who has cancer. She also talks to his mother and she says that Andrew is a changed man. The mom also wants to keep in touch with Barbara, Barbara seems to have compassion for Andrew’s mother and would not mind taking Jace to meet her. I think I would check her out a bit more before I did that.
Kail is still trying to get back with the most recent baby daddy, Chris. Chris seems to be the least into her out of all of her kid’s dads. So of course that sends her running toward him. She seems to have moved on from her lesbian phase and into he black phase. She was on this ridiculous dating show on MTV recently where her ideal man was Quavo. So they found a lot of guys they could make look like Quavo to go on dates with her.
I mean if people were going to make thirty lookalikes for me Quavo is just not the way I would go if I was Kail. I’m sure he is a lovely young man. But he does seem to have a fascination with his own teeth and he picks at them a lot and does that weird pinky thing that reminds me of Dr. Evil in Austen Powers. Why not go with someone like Denzel Whitaker or Tristan Mack Wilds if you get to pick a fantasy man? I’m just sayin’. I personally would not choose Quavo for baby daddy number four. But, I guess everyone has their thing, and hers is apparently Quavo.
Baby Daddy Drama
Meanwhile, Kail is unable to be civil with Javi since The Great Soccer Email Scandal of 2018 so she is having her own 5th birthday party for Lincoln without inviting Javi or his latest baby mama. She did invited her baby daddy number three who is apparently trying to get back with his ex before her. If she was ever an ex to begin with. Why would he be invited to Lincoln’s birthday party? Especially when he doesn’t want to be on camera? Also, this is the reason school children don’t get to do Family Tree assignments in school any more.
Chris shows up to the indoor kids gym for the party and gives Lincoln a gift and plays with his kid while ignoring Kail. This of course pisses off Kail, because everything is about her. Later, after arguing with Chris, Kail cries to producers. Girlfriend, he’s just not that into you.
Over in West Virginia, Leah’s Baby Daddy Drama has died down. Jeremy Calver is back in town, at least until his next job, and he is spending more time with his contribution to global warming, Addie. He also has a new house. Addie loves the big house with the big bedroom for her.
Chelsea Houska-Debow and Cole DeBoe
Speaking of new houses and baby daddy drama, there is plenty of both happening in South Dakota. Chelsea and Cole really want Cole to adopt Aubree but they want her to come to them with the idea. Aubree goes to he monthly sleepover with Adam Lind’s parents. Adam’s mom texts Chelsea and tells her that Adam has shown up at the house so they should come pick up Aubree. Cole is pissed and he is going alone to get her.
When Cole and Aubree get back, Chelsea asks Aubree to go upstairs for a bit. I love that Chelsea keeps Aubree out of the room for their conversations about Adam. Unlike some of the other moms, maybe even all of the other moms on this show, who talk about the baby daddy drama right in front of the kids. Watson cries a lot. He seems really attached to Cole though, which is sweet.
Unfortunately Adam’s parents talk about all of the drama right in front of Aubree. The parents are pissed that she is leaving. I think I must have misunderstood who texted Chelsea in the first place. It must have been Aubree and not the grandma. The grandma told Cole she didn’t know it was a court order that Adam couldn’t be around her. She thought it was “just” Cole and Chelsea’s rule. Either way, she has no court order for visitation and has only been seeing Aubree because Chelsea and Cole allow it. I don’t think Aubree will be going there anymore.
Later, when Chelsea tells the story to her mom, she repeats that is was Adam’s mother who called her and told her to come get Aubree. That just makes no sense that she would then be all mad that Cole came to get her,
Next week: Adam and his mom show up to Aubree’s school to have lunch with her.Luis’s is moving to Orlando sooner than expected. Leah’s daughter Ali is going blind in one eye! This is heartbreaking! Jenelle sets fire to a gift from Kail.