I can’t wait to recap this episode of Mexican Dynasties! First, we will get to see the canals of Xochimilco, Then all hell is going to break loose in the Allende family when Adan Allende makes his first grown up decision.
Oh, my. We begin dramatic flash forward between Fernando and Mari Allende. He is furious. It is his house. Fernando makes the rules. He has worked all his live for this peace. He is not going to lose it. This has to be about Doris Bessudo signing Adan Allende with out his mommy and daddy’s permission. “Calm down! Take a Xanax, Fernando!”, I think in my best Ramona Singer voice.
Three Days Earlier…
Next, we are quickly transported to the festive, colorful canals of Xochimilco, where Fernando and Mari are celebrating their 31st wedding anniversary. Everyone is invited, all three families and the dogs. They have renamed two of the canal entrances Fernando and Mari for the day and have festive signs everywhere.
Did I mention that this place is festive? I think Xochimilco must mean festive in Spanish. By the way, I am not progressing as a Spanish student. Although, my charming tax man taught me “muchos gusto” right before he tightened the screws in the torture rack this week. Then, the trip is over. We got exactly two minutes of filming,
Tengamos la Fiesta Paz!
Mari and Fernando had three weddings. Clearly, they were destined for reality TV. Our Spanish phrase this week is “Tengamos la fiesta paz!” which means let’s have the party in peace. Fernando really pronounces the p like a b. I know it is somewhere in the middle but he leans toward the b sound. Sorry, I have to learn Spanish somewhere and I am always recapping, so you must learn with me, or teach me.
La Familia Madrazo
Oscar Madrazo’s twins, Axel and Anka, have been invited to a Bar Mitzvah that begins at 8 pm. He is letting them go but he thinks the party starts to late and may go until after midnight. They are thirteen. Oscar wants to go with them and just stay for a couple of hours. The twins point out he is not invited. Oscar can’t seem to let go of his kids. It’s cute. He interrogates them about vaping and alcohol. He is a good dad. They will call him to pick him up. By the way, Oscar should not be allowed to drive.
Apparently, the reason Oscar is driving today is because it is the first day of school and it is a tradition for all seventh graders to go to school with a driver. I am not sure why this factors into to a lack of drivers at 8 pm or why the sun is still out despite them running late, but I guess the days are long there. Oh, never mind. He is taking them to the first day of school. He cries. I love Oscar.
La Familia Allende
Fernando set up a meeting with a producer who works with Ricky Martin named Pablo for Adan Allende. During the meeting Pablo asked about his musical style. Adan is all over the place. He has invited Doris to the meeting because he feels it would look more professional than arriving with his parents. He wants to appear like a man.
How old is Adan Allende you ask? He is 27. He should actually be a man. Doris appears to be hearing Adan for the first time when he is asked to sing an original song. The song is full of nah, nah, nahs and la, la, las and he is offkey. What are his other 63 songs he has written like? Do they have actual words? Doris says he needs a lot of help. Doris says this whole meeting is a waste of time. The producers were paid by Fernando and they just tell him he is great.
Oh Mira es Mamá y Papá !
Doris and Adan go to a restaurant where they conveniently sit in front of a large open window to discuss their business plans. We learn that Adan doesn’t drink. As if by magic, Fernando and Mari happen to walk by just as they are sitting down in the completely empty restaurant! So of course they crash the meeting. It’s in the script! Ah! Adan admits he texted his parents his location. Mari is pissed that Doris went to the meeting. Doris is pissed that Mari is at her business meeting.
Meanwhile, Jenny and Elan Allende, who have been through the school of hard knocks, are in the recording studio. They sound great. They highlight the fact that Adan has been treated like a child of Lori Loughlin. Fernando and Mari are completely disinterested in their record deal. I love how these two work together. They seem very in love.
Paulina Madrazo and Doris Bessudo Take Motorcycle Lessons
So, I got all prepared to watch this and they each drove three feet in the parking lot and that was the end of the lesson. Then, they went out for tea. Doris talked about her husband of 28 years. She misses him. She is just here for filming then she goes back to Beverly Hills. Later, they show Jorge arriving at the house. Doris’ bed is covered in rose petals to remind him of the reason for his visit.
Paulina has a boyfriend who like motorcycles. Thus, the lesson. Jose is not freaked out by her strange relationship with Oscar. Previously, this has been an issue in her relationships. Paulina really wants Oscar to find a boyfriend.
Jenny and Elan’s Record Signing Party
When I saw this come up on the screen I wondered if Elan’s family would deign to make and appearance. But, it looks like an all cast filming so they seem to have worked it into their busy schedule. Fernando and Mari were very interested in talking to the producers. Gee, I wonder why.
When Jenny, Elan and the team have a toast to their first big record deal, Mari and Fernando are nowhere to be found. Then, suddenly, Mari is introducing Fernando for a performance. So, he will be singing his hit song from 1971. This is not a joke. It is really happening. So, Jenny and Elan decide to get hammered. Great plan.
Meanwhile, Mari is trying to thrust Adan onto the producers. She encourages Adan to sing. Oh God no. Later,at the park Jenny wastes her breath trying to explain to Adan that he and Fernando ruined their party.
Adan’s talking heads are not funny anymore. They are just mean. Fernando is clueless. I’d like to punch them both in the face.
Paulina and Oscar Madrazo
After all of that negativity, I need to watch Paulina eat street tamales while Oscar mocks her. He calls her the Miss Transfat. Hey Oscar, there is no transfat in lard! It is actually better for you than butter. They sing tamale songs. If we could take half of the sibling bonding between these to and give it to Adan and Elan, things would be a lot more normal. Then again, normal is overrated.
Paulina wants to find a nice guy for Oscar. Poor Oscar has been hurt so many times. He is afraid to fall in love. He is just not ready to try again.
Donde esta la paz?
Back at Casa de Allende, young Adan is ….vocalizing. The help informs us this goes on for hours and headphones are a lifesaver. Even the chihuahuas are discontented. One day they are going to find Chio bleeding our from her ears after taking skewers to her eardrums. It’s bound to happen. Somehow, that will be Elan’s fault.
¡Santa Madre de Dios! The big angry conversation at the beginning of the show is about Elan getting married and living his own life? I can’t with these people. They are complaining that Jenni doesn’t compliment Adan enough. Now we know there are “lawn mower” parents in Mexico. Jenni and Elan need to move far, far, away from this mess. Fernando says this is Adan’s moment! Were there mariachi bands on hand the first time Adan peed in the potty by himself in fifth grade? These two are not kidding. They are awful!
Next time: Oscar gets back in the dating scene. Doris throws a Shabbat dinner for everyone. Elan tries to have a conversation with Fernando. This will not go well.