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You are here: Home / Entertainment News / Vanderpump Rules: Tom vs. Tom

Vanderpump Rules: Tom vs. Tom

March 12, 2019 by The Lady Cocotte 84 Comments

“Oh, so my lack of emotional control isn’t just deep enough? I’ll make it deep.”

By The Lady Cocotte

As anyone who saw last week’s Vanderpump Rules preview knows, Tom vs. Tom reignites the James Kennedy/Katie Maloney Schwartz blood feud. It’s the storyline we hoped was over, all tarted up for the SUR alley. Will Fat-gate be the undoing of the only successful relationship on the show? Or will the Toms find a way to appease the all supreme Katie Maloney Schwartz and live to love another day?

Ridiculous Fluff To Ease Us Into Things

Lisa Vanderpump is all aflutter. TomTom is opening and there’s still so much to do. At this rate, she’ll wear a hole in her favorite mom jeans racing hither and yon. Since Tom Sandoval is unavailable to film, Tom Schwartz spouts scripted lines in support of James Kennedy. Lisa seems ready to ease James back into the fold. All she needs is on-camera validation. The irony that Katie’s husband is the one to give it is lost on no one (except Schwartz himself).

Tom Sandoval is on a secret mission: spending $15,000 on a motorcycle (with sidecar) for the TomTom party. I’m sure Brittany Cartwright will spend more on her wedding dress and, as Sandoval explains, you only have the first opening of your first business once. The fiancée herself is recovering from oral surgery. Stassi Schroeder cheers her up with jello shots and gossip. Kristen Doute and Brian Carter will rue the day they blamed Princess Nastassia for their problems. No amount of eye heart emojis will shake her resolve. Brittany suggests Kristen could still turn her frog into a prince. Just like she did with Jax Taylor.

DJ James Kennedy On The Ones And Twos

Despite being repeatedly fired by Lisa Vanderpump, James Kennedy books a gig at a huge club. It provides an opportunity to move beyond the confines of Vanderpump Rules, a peek into the real life of the White Ray Jay. Tom Schwartz wants to show his triplet brothers a good time. Tom Sandoval, Jax Taylor, a white limo, a VIP table. The night is magical from start to finish. In anticipation of their grueling 60 hour TomTom workweek, the virgin bar owners decide to take a quick Mexican babymoon. In the glow of the moment, and many quick dips to the bathroom, the Toms decide to include James in the fiesta. Janky editing makes it seem like Schwartz invited him first but we’ll never know for sure. Jax is the only one who sees the fly in the ointment. “I don’t care either way if James comes on this trip. But Tom and Tom, are you that dumb? Have fun telling the girls that.”

These Pussies Have Claws

Ariana Madix, Stassi Schroeder and Katie Maloney Schwartz film at a cat café. The cats are adorable, the puns expected. They relentlessly dissect Kristen Doute and Brian Carter’s perfect Instagram relationship. The Endless Love narrative is reminiscent of the latter days of the Sandoval saga. Before Ariana is forced to take a blood oath in Stassi’s war against Kristen, the Toms call to tell the girls about their surprise vacation. Katie smells a rat. She demands to know the guest list. Tom Schwartz freezes like an impala in the veld. There’s a disturbance in the force. Out of self-preservation (and pure habit), he blames his best friend. Tom Sandoval did it. He invited James. The earth stops spinning for three agonizing seconds as Katie marshals her forces. No, no, no. Edible Katie is just as nasty as Tequila Katie. She might not yell but she knows how to inflict maximum pain. The Toms stare at the phone, only now realizing Katie. Isn’t. Over. It. She makes her position clear: they have a choice, and that choice is Katie.

Tom Schwartz vs. Tom Sandoval

Lisa Vanderpump makes Katie Maloney Schwartz continue the Girls’ Night In farce but no one is overly invested. Their sexy lingerie has morphed into pajama sets and robes. Exhausted from mingling with the normies, Katie has no time for tact. She instructs Tom Schwartz to tell Tom Sandoval to disinvite James Kennedy. Full stop. Sandoval is an idiot. It’s his fault she’s in this position in the first place. Schwartz tells her he’ll handle it but he doesn’t look convinced. “I’m stuck in the middle of my wife, Katie, and my work wife, Sandoval. It’s a position I don’t like being in.”

The Toms head to the alley for a showdown. James Kennedy can’t go to Mexico. It’s as simple as that. Tom Schwartz knows that Katie means business and he’s not willing to die on James’ hill. Tom Sandoval is frustrated. He had to get over the Kristen thing. Katie Maloney Schwartz should be over this. Before they resolve their dilemma, Ariana Madix comes tearing out of the restaurant, mid-rant. The Toms look at each other. Who is she coming for? It ends up Ariana is pissed that Schwartz always makes Sandoval the bad guy for decisions they make together. She has a good point, but terrible timing.

“Katie, we always know your feelings. Trust me.”

Katie Maloney Schwartz vs. Tom Sandoval

The air thickens as Katie Maloney Schwartz makes her alley entrance. Creeping up from the shadows, she’s scarier than any death in The Row. She instructs the assembled that she (and she alone) will decide when James Kennedy is forgiven. Tom Sandoval is unimpressed. Katie tries tears, bemoaning all the chances she gave James. Sandoval points out she got as many, if not more. “Everybody says fucked up things to each other. Everybody has. Guess what? James is the only one that gets fired for it.” Katie refuses to listen. She quivers her lip. She pops out a few tears. And gives an After School special about body shaming. Nearly out of ammunition, Katie plays her final gambit: I forbid it. In the face of absolute hypocrisy, Tom Sandoval loses control. “You’re a bully, Katie.” The Schwartzs flee in a waiting Uber. Sandoval returns to work, unscathed and unbothered.

Tom Schwartz and Tom Sandoval Stir The Pot And Screw The Pooch

The next day, the Toms are back at work. They quickly agree their partnership means more than James Kennedy ever could. They like him, just not that way. Besides, anyone can visit Mexico. “He could take his own trip.” “Yeah, just take his own trip.” Teddy Mellencamp’s brother Hud gets some airplay. As does Penny Davidi, celebrity chef and reality participant on Food Network Star, Season 7. You can’t deny Lisa Vanderpump knows how to milk promotion out of Bravo. Tom Schwartz pretends to learn the POS system while Pandora Vanderpump (née Todd) hides behind long bangs and flower dresses. James Kennedy strolls in, cocksure and on-time. He’s scheduled to ask Lisa for approval to DJ Brunch With Billie, the first step to reclaiming his SUR life. LVP interrogates him. How’s his anger? Drinking? James keeps his cool. He’s so close and nothing will stop him now. Despite all his big gigs, working for his mother figure feels like home.

Lisa Vanderpump magnanimously grants James Kennedy a day gig. He’s ecstatic. It’s All Happening. When Lisa reminds him she obviously can’t hire him for the TomTom party, he experiences a tiny glitch. He asks if he’s at least invited and their silence speaks volumes. He gets it, it’s up to the girls. Tom Sandoval thinks James’ reference is the perfect entrée to disinvite him to Mexico. What started as a small tremor erupts in a forest fire. James is incensed. He loses all semblance of sanity, the trigger has been sprung. He yells, he curses. Lisa begs for calm but James is running on instinct. When Schwartz tries to pacify him, he becomes the target. “Look at you, Tom. You’re doing great. You’re in your bar, going on a nice vacation. Yeah, it’s all lovely innit?” Fireworks explode with each “Fuck you!” Lisa and Sandoval manhandle James out the door. This isn’t how he wanted this day to go.

Next week: James Kennedy unpacks his Mexico suitcase. The Toms make it legal with Lisa Vanderpump. Kristen Doute and Katie Maloney Schwartz play, “No, you’re the asshole.” Lala Kent threatens Raquel Leviss with razor-sharp claws. “Will Lala get fired for that?” Sandoval muses. “James would.”

 

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Filed Under: Entertainment News, Vanderpump Rules Tagged With: Adam Spott, Ariana Madix, Beau Clark, Billie Lee, Brian Carter, Brittany Cartwright, Entertainment, Entertainment News, James Kennedy, Jax Taylor, Jeremy Madix, Katie Maloney, Kristen Doute, Lala Kent, Lisa Vanderpump, Morons, Peter, PUMP, Raquel Leviss, Scheana Marie, Scheana Shay, Stassi Schroeder, SUR, Tom and Katie, Tom Sandoval, Tom Schwartz, Tom Tom, TomTom, Vanderpump Rules

About The Lady Cocotte

Comments

  1. Gigi says

    March 12, 2019 at 7:58 am

    Great recap!
    Katie is a total hypocrite. She’s called people the worst names, shamed the heck out of them but she’s the only one allowed to be the victim? She acts like her word is gospel and everyone better fall in line or she’ll yell, cry and get you fired. Sandoval called it right. She’s a bully. And based on next week’s clip, Lala is one too. Disgraceful. I had such high hopes for these women to finally treat each other well. That didn’t last long.

    Reply
    • BeetsWhy says

      March 12, 2019 at 6:56 pm

      I have had enough of Katie. She needs someone to remind her that as the DUFF she is only there to provide levity. All this whining is not fun or funny.

      Reply
      • tamaratattles says

        March 12, 2019 at 7:03 pm

        We don’t need to fat shame. She’s terrible enough without insulting the rest of us. 🙂

        Reply
        • BeetsWhy says

          March 12, 2019 at 8:42 pm

          I figured as long as I was much fatter it would be okay. Apologies.

          Reply
          • tamaratattles says

            March 12, 2019 at 10:48 pm

            I do admire the whole, “I’m black so I can say the word.” sort of defense though. 🙂

            Reply
            • Dexter says

              March 13, 2019 at 1:11 am

              Katie is not fat. Her being upset she is not an aneorexic twig does not make her a victim. Katie – your not 18 anymore. She is an ass

    • Prycer says

      March 13, 2019 at 12:28 am

      @Gigi, I agree with you again (RHOBH). Katie is a walking contradiction. If she hadn’t said nasty things about others I would have sympathy. But since she has, I have zero sympathy.

      Reply
  2. Stacey says

    March 12, 2019 at 8:05 am

    “…like an impala in the veld”

    Now there’s a phrase you don’t expect to see in a Vanderpump Rules recap…I am so using this 🙂

    Reply
  3. Mark says

    March 12, 2019 at 8:54 am

    Now, I like to think I’m quite well versed in business and dealing with staff. There is a little thing called gross misconduct. Calling someone fat? Deal with it amongst yourselves, I’m not your mother. If its a particularly good member of staff, the offending party may get a talking to. Heck, maybe even a written warning and some shift changes.

    However, drinking on the job from a hip flask in my kitchen to the extent you’re drunk and belligerent by the end of your shift? DEFINITELY gross misconduct and grounds for instant dismissal.

    Reply
    • WhiskeyBreakfast says

      March 12, 2019 at 10:20 am

      Thank you!

      James called her fat. Not nice but not a mortal sin. Jax has laughed and admitted to stealing alcohol, candles and who knows what else from his employer. The rest of this emotionally stunted crew has lied to, cheated on and hated each other viciously over and over- yet that doesn’t seem to matter. James is far from the worst person in this mix.

      I read your recaps instead of watching this mess. Too scripted and just annoying. Thank you for taking one for the team.

      Reply
      • Amanda says

        March 12, 2019 at 3:51 pm

        I know! Who can go to work and end up so drunk at the end of their shift that they’re slurring, shouting, and swaying to and fro without being fired?? Not me. Not anyone on this board, I’m guessing. Katie is a bully. And a burgeoning alcoholic given the shows footage. Who knows what she does off camera but I’m 100% carrying a flask to get you through the work day isn’t living your best life. She needs to get over herself.

        Totally off topic but I’m all into zodiac stuff and I really thought she’d be a Taurus. I was shocked to find out she’s a fellow Capricorn. Maybe she just got all the bad traits. Lol.

        Reply
    • The Lady Cocotte says

      March 12, 2019 at 4:05 pm

      Mark, you probably use contracts in your business, too. Like a fool. You should take a business class from LVP. Think of all the time you’re wasting by following laws.

      Reply
      • Mark says

        March 12, 2019 at 6:30 pm

        Oh, I don’t know where that comes from. Bitch is contracted up the wazzoo. When I worked for her company in London I’m pretty sure there was an NDA and everything included in my contract package. She protected, trust and believe.

        Reply
        • Mark says

          March 12, 2019 at 6:33 pm

          That stuck out to me at the time because it was the first time I was ever asked to sign one, and for a HOSPITALITY company no less. Struck me as odd. And I used to have my dads lawyer look over everything, like a PROPER precocious little twat. ???

          Reply
  4. SaraZ says

    March 12, 2019 at 9:25 am

    Maybe I’m the exception but I think Katie gets a bad rap on this. Yes, she’s the mouthpiece but James has issues with more than just Katie – Kristen, Lala, Brittany/Jax. Schwartz should have an issue with him at this point after the number of times he’s gone after him and his wife but I digress.

    His continuing outbursts and insults show that he hasn’t changed, so as long as his behavior continues, why would someone feel like they can “get over it”?

    Reply
  5. Helen says

    March 12, 2019 at 9:35 am

    I cannot STAND Katie this season. Sandoval is totally right in calling her a bully. That’s exactly that she is…Katie is SO bad that I’m actually defending JAMES, of all people! She is the perfect example of “you can dish it out but you can’t take it.”

    Reply
    • kete05 says

      March 12, 2019 at 3:26 pm

      This season? You like her in other seasons? I can’t think of one where I actually liked her. Tolerated her, yes. Like? Definitely no. She has been the same brat overall, except maybe when she was disowned by Stassi.

      Reply
      • Helen says

        March 12, 2019 at 4:11 pm

        Katie has just always fallen into the background for me because of the prominence of Jax/Stassi drama and then the Kristen/Sandoval drama. She always seemed like an afterthought imo. But this season her big self and her witchy female empowerment are front and center and it is soooooo ugly.

        Reply
      • Sarah says

        March 14, 2019 at 4:53 am

        And used Scheana to cry on her shoulder and tossed her again when Dtassi came back?? That was nice ??

        Reply
    • Sarah says

      March 14, 2019 at 5:01 am

      He didn’t walk up and call her fat…..after Kristen (who is NOT TO BE THERE) scaled the fence around front to ambush Raquel and upset everything, JAMES WAS LEAVING…..Katie said TO HIM “NICE SHORTS”. He said something BACK about her shorts not being very flattering,,,,,,etc, etc. They started it with him. He did NOT start it. Yes he was intoxicated. I’ve watched them all drink on Pride every season since it aired. James drinks to excess and has a problem and it’s not acceptable to talk to women that way. But women can’t bully men either. Katie needs to own her part. She’s certainly not fat, and James needs to learn to manage alcohol while he’s young.

      Reply
      • kete05 says

        March 14, 2019 at 10:28 pm

        Totally agree. It is the hypocrisy that is so infuriating. I do not love James. But he seems like a young guy who has a lot on his shoulders. He is immature and short tempered. Not a great combo. But we have repeatedly seen Kristin, Katie and Stassi make it a point to go after him. The whole last season was about Kristen and Stassi going out of their way to make him miserable! Katie is the epitome of someone who can dish it out but not take it. In fact, she is reminding me a lot of season 1/2 Stassi. I love Stassi now but she used to be intolerable.

        Reply
  6. Skye says

    March 12, 2019 at 9:53 am

    I quit watching a few episodes back. #1 I cannot stand Katie who does look like an AMAZON compared to the other brats. Lisa should stay out of their spats PERIOD as long as it does not have anything to do with her business. However, James does bring in crowds and DOES have something to do with her business. Lisa should ignore them all and give James his job back. $$$$$$$ James referring to Katie as “fat” was nothing compared to what Katie has said about others on the show. I don’t know what any man sees in these women. It’s crazy the way they act at their age. Let’s be real if someone called me fat I would NOT run to my husband or my girlfriends to persecute the person that said it. Geezzz where is the maturity of these people? Bravo needs to dump Katie, Stassi & Kristen. There are plenty other girl employees at Sur that could take up the slack. I’ll keep reading TT’s and when she says something about new blood I’ll tune back in.

    Reply
  7. BeeSmart says

    March 12, 2019 at 10:07 am

    Good for Sandoval to tell Katie what he really thinks about her. She is a bully! Who cares if he called her fat? Didn’t she say something to him about what he was wearing first? BTW, did anyone see her and Stassi on WWHL last week? She looked quite LARGE sitting next to Stassi.

    Reply
    • Ktina says

      March 12, 2019 at 10:58 am

      She’s overweight and can’t stand it so she lashes out at James for pointing it out. I was called fat from 1st to 10th grade. Today, I’d be curvy. My how times have changed.

      Reply
  8. Joey says

    March 12, 2019 at 10:12 am

    Katie is awful, it isn’t just this season. She has had issues every season with her negative behavior. She said horrible things about people in the past, and Billy this season. Yet, she holds a grudge against James! She is a bully and a hypocrite.

    I feel bad for James. He has FOMO and he is constantly trying to get validation and feel included with the group. He needs therapy to help him like himself before knowing what it means to be a friend to others.

    Kristen needs to stop talking to Stassi and Katie about anything negative in her relationship. She is too much of an open book. Kristen try some self control. Stop proving on instagram your relationship is great. We all know photos can be misleading.

    Reply
  9. Heidi says

    March 12, 2019 at 10:26 am

    Katie is lying to herself. She says she feels and looks great, that sticks and stones won’t hurt her, blah blah blah, but she’s so obviously trying to convince herself and we can all see it from her behavior.

    She’s a bully that gives ultimatums. That’s it.

    Reply
  10. memyselfandi says

    March 12, 2019 at 10:41 am

    I guess I am the only one who doesn’t feel bad for James. The Katie fat comment was insignificant in a vaccuum but he did/said a bunch of other belligerent crap to all the girls so I don’t buy into his boohoo act this year.

    Yeah they have all said/done horrible stuff and Katie is a hypocrite but all of them are hypocrites.

    His OTT reaction to getting disinvited from Mexico just shows how dumb it was to try to invite him in the first place.

    And what was the point of Tom Sandoval making James his cause and picking a huge fight about it only to completely back down the next day like a little bitch? Can’t stand him.

    Was nice seeing Schwartz take his wife’s side over a bro. This time.

    Reply
    • Ktina says

      March 12, 2019 at 11:00 am

      Wrong is wrong and right is right. I don’t take my husband’s side when he’s acting like an ass and is obviously wrong.

      Reply
      • To Be Flair says

        March 12, 2019 at 11:36 am

        Thank you for the recap, Lady Cocette. 🙂

        I think in the grand scheme of things, when you are in a relationship you and your partner need to publicly have each other’s backs. Now this doesn’t mean you have to agree with your partner if they are acting a fool; it means you correct each other in private. It is a modicum of respect and a way of reinforcing the foundation of trust and reliance upon one another in a relationship. By knowing that you can expect that loyalty with someone else, it definitely makes an impression on surrounding family and friends, in that people are less likely to eff with you. It’s also about healthy boundaries, but having a safe space with a partner in that you know you can depend on them to help you if it is your fault by pulling you up off of your face and collecting yourself…behind closed doors. Did you know what is actually more rude than an ill manner? Calling out someone for being ill mannered is actually more tactless. So my point is that if you’re partner’s wrong, you can tactfully pull a person from whatever idea they are attached to at that time, stop the conversation, and discuss it privately without having an audience to spectate and demean the other person. That is just tasteless and snotty.

        With all that being said, I am not justifying Katie’s cause and how she is looking to clearly get James fired from the show. I am not saying that she is comporting herself correctly; but if Tom Schwartz knew it was important to Katie to not be around James, he should not have broached the subject to begin with, because then there never would have had to have been a conversation about being uninvited. I fucking despise Katie’s behavior; but I understand the need to have public support from your beau, even if that means him taking you out of the situation to defuse it. It’s about the sense of safety you feel you can have with a partner, and I think Katie doesn’t feel it, because, well, she doesn’t really have it.

        I think they are a dud couple and Katie needs to stop working her psychology out on James and the rest of the universe in such a destructive way. I think she needs to take some stock in her life, figure out where she wants improvement, and focus on that task. But she needs to stop projecting her bullshit onto other people. Just my thoughts at the moment…

        Reply
        • To Be Flair says

          March 12, 2019 at 11:38 am

          err stock of* her life, sorry about that.

          Thanks again for a great recap Lady C, and thank you to all for the comments!

          Reply
        • The Lady Cocotte says

          March 12, 2019 at 4:12 pm

          You’re not wrong. To me, ride or die means supporting you in public but calling you on your shit in private. No one needs a yes man.

          Reply
        • Ktina says

          March 12, 2019 at 5:01 pm

          Never in public of course. That would be relationship suicide. I don’t know any man or woman that would be okay with that.

          Reply
          • Mark says

            March 12, 2019 at 6:42 pm

            Yeah, but theres a happy medium. You can save it for a private moment, but when people in relationships stand shouting in blind defence, that’s my pet hate. Like calm your bitch down and go speak to them in private. You don’t have to act the big man when you know she’s wrong.

            That said, you cant tell me this isn’t definitely manufactured. The sociopath in me knows that, even in a blind rage, the correct response (in front of Lisa) would be to bashfully accept defeat, blink your eyes a few times as if you were holding back tears, then put on the British stiff upper lip and sadly walk away with your tail between your legs saying goodbye, and that you hope everyone can forgive you… someday. Not a dry eye or panty in the house. *takes a bow*

            He’s earning his spot with the drama. Mamma Lisa gon’ taught him well.

            Reply
            • Tamz says

              March 13, 2019 at 2:10 pm

              Love your second paragraph!

    • Betsey says

      March 12, 2019 at 7:49 pm

      Everything you said. EVERYTHING!!!

      Reply
    • Prycer says

      March 13, 2019 at 12:40 am

      @MeMyselfandI-James is a twat. His behavior is horrible. I’m not a fan of either James and Katie.

      Reply
  11. samaraohara says

    March 12, 2019 at 10:42 am

    James has serious issues and he will not be able to use youth and crappy parenthood to serve as an excuse. It’s not cute. He needs serious help.

    Katie is a sanctimonious twat as well. Lala the hooker/Tupac reincarnate who speaks in the third person is also not above anyone.

    It’s pretty hard to take anyone’s side here. Toms made a bad decision inviting someone who has an apocalyptic affect on Tom’s wife and has also insulted and/or humiliated several of the other invitees. It is quite hypocritical of Katie to play the victim when she had zero empathy for Tom and Ariana when Kristen played the crazy ex stalker role after sleeping with Tom’s BF and then moving on with his friend/music mate James. Katie was trying to push Kristen on T and A far too soon.

    I actually think Stassi and Ariana are good for each other. I don’t hate the less entitled Stassi anymore. I think the reason they like Ariana more than Scheana is because she wasn’t disingenuous ass kisser. I do think the three witches are better when they don’t have to agree on everything. Ride or die is overrated. Stassi’s only misstep is going after Carter with Katie. Carter seems like another deadbeat punk a$$ but K and S should just tell Kristen she is following a pattern and then let her deal with it. I don’t know why they are taking on Carter. All these people are old now and it’s time to just be accountable for oneself. Carter clearly doesn’t respect Kristen and has a bit of contempt, so.

    Lala is a POS to Raquel.

    Reply
    • The Lady Cocotte says

      March 12, 2019 at 4:14 pm

      It looks like Carter’s contempt for Kristen is mutual. Their relationship is as doomed as Ariana and Sandoval’s.

      Reply
      • Valley View says

        March 12, 2019 at 5:33 pm

        Great recap, Lady Cocotte. Kristen realization she is difficult to love was telling. She is such a vindictive fool. I would ask when the last time she had a good day. Kristen relies on the show for income and seems to be allergic to work. Kristen seems quite smitten with having shamed Carter into paying rent. If she isn’t exacting revenge, it is all about one level of crazy or another-or she is a victim.

        I find Ariana and Sandoval to have the most real relationship. Very business like. Last night she surprised me when she took up for “her boyfriend”. As a couple they are making intelligent choices like buying a home. Sandoval investing in a business. One she can actually work in. The only other couple business going is “beer cheese”.

        Reply
      • Mark says

        March 12, 2019 at 6:45 pm

        Omg watching Ariana is like watching me in a mirror. All the little barbs and put downs you think are so funny and witty and cute will lead to your partner resenting you, and then you will be surprised because noone told you you were actually just a cunt. She needs to watch if she wants to keep playing pretend straight house with Tom.

        Reply
  12. therealdeb says

    March 12, 2019 at 11:26 am

    I remember crazy Mexico tequila Katie, with her pumpkin orange hair. Omg. She is the worst! James is just the most open about the shit he says.

    Reply
  13. Gigi says

    March 12, 2019 at 11:39 am

    Drinking from a flask Katie? I can’t watch her anymore. WHAT does LVP see in her? She’s a bully with anger and alcohol problems.

    Reply
  14. Valley View says

    March 12, 2019 at 12:47 pm

    Katie’s eunuch husband is her perfect mate. Ariana was correct the Eunch steps in it and Sandoval is expected to clean up his mess. Katie is out the alley calling Sandoval a fucking asshole at least three times, and an idiot. Maybe Tom finds those kind of comments hurtful. I find it hard to believe a 5% partner’s wife can dictate who comes into an establishment for a grand opening. LVP comes off feckless and fake for not allowing James to attend after he already did the Daily Mail party at the venue.

    Kristen and Carter are losers,who Katie yells at and they recoil and yet it is okay for them to tag along to Mexico? Kristen is such a downer also she does is complain, whine and go nutso.

    Reply
  15. PixnTrix says

    March 12, 2019 at 12:52 pm

    Great recap! Katie is despicable and such a bully. She’s the worst and such a hippo-crit. Yeah I said it. If she’s so ashamed of her weight then she needs to put down the booze and Taco Bell and do something about it. Sandoval was right in calling her out it’s about time someone did that. I can’t believe LVP fired James but hasn’t fired any other employee for stealing (Stassi and Jax) and Katie for slut shaming just to name a few. I guess we’re supposed to believe this isn’t all scripted now. Lmao ?. Most of the women on this show make it unwatchable.

    Reply
    • Sarah says

      March 14, 2019 at 5:05 am

      I think Vanderpump Rules is on its last legs

      Reply
  16. An18 says

    March 12, 2019 at 12:56 pm

    Did anyone catch when a woman ordered a mojito from Jax but he wouldn’t make it because he wasn’t going to muddle anything?! He should be fired over that!

    Reply
    • Marie says

      March 12, 2019 at 1:39 pm

      As a former bartender, I noticed. I would have been fired on the spot from any of the places I worked (some higher-end than others LOL). I used to hate muddling and blender drinks, but hey, comes with the territory.

      Remember a couple of episodes ago when he called rum and Cokes and vodka tonics “my kind of drinks”?

      Reply
      • Tobaccorhoda says

        March 12, 2019 at 3:06 pm

        Did you notice how, in the opening credits, Sandoval manages to take the glass lip off of the champagne bottle as he’s trying to take the cork off with the sword and rather than do a retake they just left it in, closeup and all, to humiliate him for his SKILLZ as a bartender.

        Reply
        • Tobaccorhoda says

          March 12, 2019 at 3:10 pm

          Geez, sorry for the run-on sentence.

          Reply
        • The Lady Cocotte says

          March 12, 2019 at 4:02 pm

          Thank you! Sandoval’s sabrage is embarrassing.

          Reply
        • Helen says

          March 12, 2019 at 4:18 pm

          Sandoval did that correctly. He was sabering the champagne bottle. You don’t use a saber (Sabre) to just remove a cork, you cut off the entire top of the champagne bottle.

          Reply
          • The Lady Cocotte says

            March 12, 2019 at 4:23 pm

            Really? I guess that makes sense. It would be hard to just get the cork. So they must not drink sabered champagne, right? Seems like a waste of good bubbly.

            Reply
            • Tobaccorhoda says

              March 12, 2019 at 4:41 pm

              You could not drink a bottle with the neck fractured in that way. Of course it’s possible to just get the cork. That’s the whole point of the “art”.

          • Tobaccorhoda says

            March 12, 2019 at 4:45 pm

            Whelp, I just looked it up, and I stand corrected. You do indeed knock off the collar. Sorry.

            Reply
            • The Lady Cocotte says

              March 12, 2019 at 5:01 pm

              But what about the wasted champagne? That’s the most disturbing part of this whole thread.

            • Nanette says

              March 13, 2019 at 11:10 am

              No matter how you open the bottle, if you hold it at a 30-degree angle, (closer to vertices 30-degrees) it won’t spray. All that spraying for effect is dumb.

    • Fynn says

      March 12, 2019 at 4:28 pm

      Jax is not a bartender. His job requires him to PRETEND to be a bartender..and he doesn’t want to do the hard work in pretending.

      Reply
      • Prycer says

        March 13, 2019 at 12:58 am

        Yep. Besides Cosmo’s are so 90’s. I would have told him “If it’s free I’ll take it otherwise make me a Mojito”. One is made with rum and the other is vodka and they taste nothing alike. What a lazy f^ck. I make Mojito’s all the time and they don’t take that long to make.

        Reply
  17. GardenofPoorChoices says

    March 12, 2019 at 1:17 pm

    “The White Ray Jay” is just so superb. This recap is everything.

    Reply
    • Amanda says

      March 12, 2019 at 4:00 pm

      I did laugh out loud at White Ray Jay! ?

      Reply
  18. Fizz says

    March 12, 2019 at 1:41 pm

    So having been a bartender in Los Angeles for almost twenty years I know that what Katie did by bringing the flask into the bar is completely illegal. No outside beverages even sodas and water are allowed in bars. By law. It’s because we are legally responsible for how much our customers drink and we can’t monitor what we don’t know about, over serving is a felony here. It’s crazy but that’s how it is. Katie could have gotten the bar shut down for the night and fined. Both the bar and herself. It’s a law that applies to everyone. We had to confiscate a major rock stars flask once for this exact reason once. Thought you all might be interested.

    Reply
    • The Lady Cocotte says

      March 12, 2019 at 4:19 pm

      That’s some good bar tea. I’m sure there won’t be blowback. Stassi went around SUR, showing LVP all the places she used to hide booze (sorry, Kristen). Somehow rules don’t apply to Lisa Vanderpump.

      Reply
    • Amanda says

      March 12, 2019 at 4:42 pm

      I thought it was illegal. Except maybe the French Quarter where “illegal” is sorta just ignored most of the time.

      Reply
    • Gigi says

      March 12, 2019 at 6:57 pm

      Fizz- I thought the same thing!
      I can’t imagine it being ok for “on duty” employees to be drinking. even on a break it isn’t ok!

      Katie with her flask and Sandoval with his beer, Ariana with her wine

      Are they on duty as paid actors or working in a bar/restaurant? Drinking on the job is never ok!
      I’ve worked in these environments, and can see the owner like LVP having a glass a day, but this is insane!

      I guess management (and Kathie the whistleblower) are not all that worried about the risks of continuing a hostile work environment.

      Reply
      • Fizz says

        March 12, 2019 at 7:24 pm

        Shockingly in California it’s not illegal for a bartender or server to drink at work but, it’s illegal for one to be drunk at work while serving. So most companies do not permit drinking behind the bar. In the case that something happened the bartender or server would have to prove that they weren’t working while legally drunk which would be a challenge.

        Reply
      • Fizz says

        March 12, 2019 at 7:26 pm

        Oh yeah none of them are actually working. The flask was just so illegal I couldn’t resist mentioning it.

        Reply
        • Nanette says

          March 13, 2019 at 11:21 am

          Driving with an open container is illegal. So unless Katie filled the flask after ther drive to “work” and finished it or left it there, she broke the law. Anyone who has to drink to get through a shift shouldn’t be calling others out on their behavior.

          I started watching this because I worked in restaurants for years and the behind-the-scenes can be really funny (remember Stassi’s imitating RHBH Joyce’s husband) and very shady and “incestuous” — (everyone sleeping with each other) but it’s not even about SUR any more. Just the Vanderpunks and their bad behavior.

          Why are the Toms going on vacation right AFTER the restaurant opens? (Rhetorical question.)

          Reply
          • tamaratattles says

            March 13, 2019 at 12:04 pm

            Aflask is not an open container unless it is open.

            Reply
  19. kete05 says

    March 12, 2019 at 3:30 pm

    Katie is the worst! I did not disagree with anything that Sandoval said. Except that I don’t really buy into adults being bullies. She is an asshole. A brat. But these people all have their own power to stand up to her, they just don’t. The way she pushes people around is just gross. And the fact that no one really stands up to here is more than a little irritating. I was glad to see Sandoval call her out.

    Also, an episode without Lala was a welcome respite. Can’t wait to listen to go after someones throat next week. Yay…..

    Reply
    • The Lady Cocotte says

      March 12, 2019 at 4:20 pm

      That was a nice break. Any Lala is too much Lala for me.

      Reply
      • Amanda says

        March 12, 2019 at 4:44 pm

        I used to really like LaLa. I want to still like her but, damn, that girl is making it hard for me.

        Reply
  20. Fynn says

    March 12, 2019 at 3:34 pm

    Katie and Stassi both look different than before. Probably off the drugs that inhibited their appetites.

    Reply
    • The Lady Cocotte says

      March 12, 2019 at 4:21 pm

      I guess they don’t have ADHD anymore.

      Reply
  21. Fynn says

    March 12, 2019 at 3:38 pm

    Although Kristen looks the same.

    Reply
  22. dreamchild says

    March 12, 2019 at 3:55 pm

    Fun fact I learned to bartend as a Delta ticket agent in a Delta Crown room where the alcohol was free, now called Sky Club. Anyhoo back in the day in cities other than the hubs Delta used to allow their members into unmanned Crown rooms and used the honor system for folks to make their own drinks!! The supply bill per month for one Crown room in let’s say Tallahassee was equal to 3 Crown rooms in the Atlanta airport which is huge!

    Reply
    • tamaratattles says

      March 12, 2019 at 4:14 pm

      I ADORE the Delta Sky Club! The one at the new(ish) Hartsfield International terminal is great as it is quiet near both the gates and a smoking section. And it’s basically all you can drink, lol. Great for long overnight flights.

      Reply
  23. tamaratattles says

    March 12, 2019 at 4:16 pm

    I had this shit show on TWICE while finishing up some tax prep. It failed to distract me from TAXES. It was that boring.

    I should learn to just come straight to the recaps.

    I think “These Pussies Have Claws” is right up there with , “like so many beans she has flicked before…” Perfect.

    Reply
  24. dstat says

    March 12, 2019 at 5:44 pm

    When the Toms were getting ready to disinvite James with Lisa standing there, I was saying out loud “Don’t do it James!!” I dislike Katie so much, I really want James to evolve and prove them wrong. It’s hard to watch everyone hanging up on him.

    Reply
    • dstat says

      March 12, 2019 at 5:45 pm

      ganging up

      Reply
  25. SD says

    March 12, 2019 at 10:35 pm

    Another great recap, Lady C! “Only successful relationship on the show” = the Toms. Haha! “White Ray Jay,” “out of pure habit [Schwarz] blames his best friend”–So good! Thanks for the laughs!

    Every time I watch this show, I marvel that (most of) these people are in their 30s, and they still have not grown up any.

    It would be too exhausting for me to list all of them who have slept with their friends’ boyfriend/girlfriend–all of which they’ve gotten beyond–yet the unforgiveable thing is James’s drunken insults of Katie.

    I was really surprised by her drinking from the flask also. Interesting to read here that it is illegal.

    Reply
  26. Dexter says

    March 13, 2019 at 1:17 am

    Katie is not fat. She is no longer 18. Or 23. Claiming to be fat when your not is a form of fat shaming. Being normal weight is gross. So being over weight is disgusting. Katie is nasty.

    Reply
  27. kimmy says

    March 13, 2019 at 10:13 am

    Katy is horrible and a hippo-crite. There has only been one season I liked her. That would be the one where she was emancipated from Stassi. I’m actually liking Stassi now! Tom Sandoval was correct in everything he said. It’s time she got over James’ fat comment. Geez. Also, on her most recent appearance on WWHL, she looked absolutely awful! Did not one friend point this out to her before the show? I could not believe her hair, outfit and jewelry. Does she really run some sort of style blog?
    BTW, LaLa is crude and vulgar. (IMO)

    Reply
  28. Nanette says

    March 13, 2019 at 11:29 am

    Lady C, your recaps are what keeps me watching what used to be my favorite show. Every week when I read them, I realize I have dozed off and npmissed stopuff every week of this snooze fest season.

    “Frequent trips to the bathroom” LOL.

    Reply
  29. Kelnlola says

    March 14, 2019 at 4:29 pm

    Your recaps are legit works of art Lady C. Glorious. Riveting. Hilarious. So much better than the shitfest this show has become.

    Reply

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