Gather round ladies and gentleman, it’s time for another episode of
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills #PuppyGate starring Lisa Vanderpump as the wrongfully accused villain. Tonight, Ken Todd once again inserts himself in women’s business by demanding texts of one of his employee’s private conversations. Because, that’s perfectly normal and legal right? Wrong. Rest assured that we will see even more evidence from Lisa Vanderpump’s intended stooge, Teddi Mellencamp, before all the chips have landed.
Until then, I think the Lisa Vanderpump fans will enjoy this post. I’ll be glad when she has her full on hissy fit and locks herself up with her swans. Perhaps then we can move on to other topics.
Mauricio and Kyle are getting ready to take Sophia off to college at George Washington University. The amount of advertising for this university is kind of unprecedented. Good for their PR team! Kyle and Sophia are both crying before they get in the car to go to the airport. It’s sweet.
When they see the dorm room, it is of course quite bare. Kyle is itching to shop for all the stuff to spruce it up and make it homey. Farrah and Portia are there too. The whole family goes out to dinner where Sophia gets a financial lecture. She is only to use her debit card and the credit card is only for emergencies. Kyle says Sophia is the most high maintenance kid she has. I love how well-behaved all of Kyle’s kids are. Portia, who is a bit of a wild child, has perfect table manners and seems to know when to behave.
At their final meal, everyone cries. Porsha is adorable when she cries about her sister going to college.
Denise Richards and Lisa Rinna go for a hike and chat a bit about the Bahamas. Denise loves Erika. She says she is so funny. We rarely get to see funny Erika Jayne anymore. I hope we get fun Erika Jayne back once Lisa Vanderpump runs for the hills. Denise says she also enjoyed getting a massage with Lisa Vanderpump. Denise tells Rinna she and Aaron Phypers are getting married soon.
Lisa Rinna has a cover shoot for CVLUX magazine that requires her to fake garden. Rinna takes STUNNING photos. She really is beautiful. Thirty-one years in the business makes Rinna a pro at this.
Dorit and Paul Kemsley have a chat about Lisa Vanderpump. LVP apparently ignored Paul’s birthday and she has never done that. Paul says that Lisa Vanderpump is “a genius at manipulation and control. She’s the best in the world at it.” This is from someone who would know. They were both in the same nefarious situations together back in London decades ago. Dorit and Paul both say someone is lying. Well, they are two somebodies who are lying. But, Lisa Vanderpump’s failure to manipulate Teddi Mellencamp has taken the focus of their lies and shone a bright light on her own lies instead.
It is Teddi Mellencamp’s virgin visit to Casa Girardi. Erika has made snacks she knows Teddi will never touch. But, you have to offer something to guests anyway. Teddi Mellencamp quickly gets a plug in for her workout video that is coming soon you guys!
Erika Girardi leads Teddi to the chapel. That way Teddi can confess her sins to Erika. These two are glad to truly be friends with each other now. Teddi’s confession to Erika includes some sins of omission. When the news of #PuppyGate was first told to her, she was fine with letting Kyle Richards in on the situation by bringing it up at Vanderpump Dogs. Erika’s talking head in the hideous wig indicates that she is not really ready to be Teddi’s friend. Tread lightly there, Teddi!
Erika Jayne and Dorit join Teddi to go horseback riding. Clearly, Kyle can’t come because she nearly died from horseback riding in Berlin last year. The girls take the horses to the bar. These three are having a great time. They are having normal girl chat about their spouses. It’s so refreshing and interesting. Erika says for the first fifteens she lived Tom Girardi’s life. Now she is living Erika Jayne’s life. Tom is accepting of both. I’m so happy to have an LVP-free conversation I could cry! I hope we get lots more of these this season!
What do we think of Aaron Phypers? He seems a bit off to me. Lord knows, Denise doesn’t have great taste in men. Aaron’s divorce is final and he is ready to plan the wedding. They decide to get married in September 8th. Aaron is into numbers but doesn’t seem to be able to add.
Our on the veranda of Villa Rosa, Lisa Vanderpump awaits her butler to arrive toting Giggy. When she doesn’t need a cup of tea, he and Giggy take a seat. The occasion for this scene is a trial for John Blizzard. He must answer for his texts with Teddi Mellencamp. (See Texts here) Ken takes Giggy and leaves LVP alone with her prey. John back pedals and says he put words in LVP’s mouth and he shouldn’t have. He apologizes. He also looks like he may have crapped his pants.
Later, Dorit Kemsley and Kyle Richards head over to luncheon with Lisa Vanderpump. The premise is to clear the air. However, it is really an ambush. And there won’t be any lunch served. They were lucky to get a glass of rosé. Kyle Richards actually had to ask for wine. Bethenny Frankel would have had one bottle in the ice bucket and a couple more sitting our for the camera. Instead we get a commercial for the giant wine glasses.
Lisa Vanderpump Attempts To Clear Her Name
Lisa Vanderpump immediately restates her innocence. She goes right for Teddi Mellencamp. She says Teddi said, “Have the dog there, and I can say it’s Dorit’s dog.” Kyle seems prepared for this text recitation. Kyle defends Teddi and tells LVP it isn’t fair to lay all the blame on Teddi when she was not alone in the situation. Ah, Kyle has seen the text messages. Once again, another “gotcha moment” by Lisa Vanderpump has been foiled. Now that LVP has gotten John Blizzard to say on camera that he put the words in he mouth on her text to Teddi, she feels confident saying that she had no idea about John Blizzard telling Teddi Mellencamp to identify Lucy, Lucy, Apple Juicy as Dorit’s dog during filming.
There is only one problem with this lie. Dorit Kemsley is sitting right there. LVP called Dorit and told her that John Blizzard and Teddi Mellencamp had discussed the dog situation. She even told Dorit that again at a dinner that was filmed. Lisa Vanderpump really is slipping. Yet somehow she thinks she is winning and Dorit is buying her bullshit.
Next week: Teddi tells the whole truth to Dorit. LVP has dinner with Denise and her future groom. I’m not sure what Erika Jayne is doing taking photos of girls in ill-fitting bikinis but it has to be more interesting than Puppy Gate.