I have been so excited about the premiere of Mexican Dynasties all day! And yet, somehow I am late to the party. This season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is going to be an insanely good time. The swift and dramatic take-down of Lisa Vanderpump early on in the season has things off to a very fast-paced start and the recapping is as intense as the drama. So forgive me if I am a bit brain-dead. I’m also working on taxes this week and I resized and watermarked about 30 photos for this show alone today. The good news is now I have had a good lesson in everyone’s names so I have a better shot at getting them right most of the time. Let’s get started!
The Allendes
It is National Earthquake Drill Day and the maid, Chio, has come with a tray of coffee to awaken Fernando Allende and his wife Mari from their slumber. The Allendes live in a penthouse so they will certainly die in an earthquake before they could get to ground level. This is why penthouses give me anxiety. I love that Mari Allende slept in her jewelry. She’s ever prepared for an evacuation. Me and you both, Mari. Although my jewelry will be the things I barter during the zombie apocalypse. I have small bills and coins and hand-held can openers to barter first. I also appreciate they are both in bed at 1 pm. Perhaps I was born in the wrong country.
The David Cassidy of Mexico
Fernando sets off to find Adan, the youngest son who is clearly treated like the baby of the family by his parents. Adan is raiding the refrigerator like a typical teenage boy. Oh wait. He’s 27. These three call each other the tripod. We see pictures of them snuggling in the same bed watching TV. Fernando tells us they never leave each other’s side. They also party together. I guess I won’t get a job either. I could see Fernando being the David Cassidy of Mexico.
Watching these people decide what to wear and what to bring for the earthquake drill is hilarious. Fernando struggles to decide which of his fifty watches most says, “Earthquake drill.” After five flights of stairs, Mari is coming around to my line of thinking with regard to penthouses. A nice sprawling farm in the country with some sort of tornado/earthquake/zombie shelter would be money well spent. They didn’t make it out in time. I told you so. Also, I learned how to say Oh My God in Spanish. This should be helpful when I move to Costa Rica.
We All Know What Happened With The Beatles….
Before Jenny and Elan even arrive at the house, we learn that Jenny is not excited to see her mother-in-law Mari. Apparently, Mari always corrects Jenny’s English. Jenny hardly has foreign accent at all. Jenny is from Puerto Rico and is a former Miss World Pureto Rico. When Elan was in his twenties he married Jenny. His parents were the manage of the band he was in with his brother called, Allende. They told him to choose between the band and his wife. He obviously chose his wife. Cut to a confessional with Adan. “We all know what happened with the Beatles…(whispers) Yoko.” I love this show. It is hysterical. I have a feeling that Jenny is the one my source says wants to be the next Golnesa.
A Family That Sleeps Together…
Now Elan and Jenny have their own record deal they just signed. Didn’t John Lennon end of doing a record deal with Yoko Ono for ton of records no one remembers? They have two kids Valentina and Fernando who are expected to arrive sometime before filming ends. As it turns out the penthouse doesn’t have a third bed for the new arrivals. What kind of penthouse is this? So Mari offers the marital bed to Jenny and Elan. Absolutely not, said Jenny.
Jenny points out the obvious that there are no boundaries in the Allende family. Fernando and Mari showed up on their honeymoon with Adan! They were supposed to sleep in Adan’s room but someone has apparently purchased him a spot on The Voice, Mexico. Clearly, this means that Adan must get his beauty rest and take care of his vocal instrument. He suggests they go to a hotel if they don’t want to sleep on the inflatable mattress. I think Jenny should jump at this opportunity. Instead, after mucho complaining, Adan agrees to sleep on the air mattress.
The Bessudos
The Joan Rivers of Mexico City
Doris Bessudos has returned home to film the show help her mother after the passing of her father, the patriarch of the family. Doris lives in Beverly Hills and is Mauricio Umansky’s cousin. Wow! Her parents are the owner’s of Jarrito’s soft drinks. It’s sometimes easier to find a Jarrito’s in the ghetto convenience store than a co-cola. These people really are rich. Raquel Bessudos is the most famous fashion critic in Latin America according to Doris. She has her own TV show that is similar to what Fashion Police was when Joan Rivers was on it and it was still good. Ha! After I typed that Doris called her mother the Joan Rivers of Mexico City.
Raquel is also the weight police. She is constantly telling Doris to lose weight.
The Madrazos
Paulina and Oscar Madrazos are one of those brother sister pairs who are a bit too close. They remind me of the Persian-American brother and sister duo that was on Shahs of Sunset last season.
Oscar and Paulina live either next door to each other or one house away. Paulina drove the children to Oscars house to prepare for his homecoming. He has been off to war for three years fighting drug cartels and… Oh wait. That’s not it. He’s been gone on vacation for a couple of weeks.
These two are rich because their father was the first person to import luxury cars into Mexico City. The have their own TV of some sort. It seems like half incestuous bondage and half game show. Oh Dios mío I could be wrong. Oscar is gay and funny. He reminds me a bit of Adam from Shahs of Sunset. I think I just have Shahs on the brain because I’m thinking of Mercedeh. Oscar was apparently the first gay man in Mexico to have kids by a surrogate. He has thirteen year old twins. At the time, He told his sister get pregnant so their kids would be close in age. Oscar took his mother and kids on a fabulous vacation to Morroco and Turkey. Estoy celoso!
Tragedy stuck the Madrazos family while Oscar and his clan were on vacation. A pet parrot, Kimbo died. Paulina has kept Kimbo on her freezer until everyone could be together for the burial tomorrow.
It’s Time To Party!
Everyone gives some sort of confessional about how hot Fernando Allende was in the 70s. Oscar share that Fernando was once on his jerking off list. Everyone assumed Fernando was gay until Mari came along. Even Elan contributes to the conversation with “everyone was bi in the seventies.
The party is to celebrate the life of Raquel’s husband Leon who passed away a few weeks ago. In true Lisa Vanderpump fashion she tells us that one of the ladies gave her condolences at the party was about three weeks late in doing so. “Perhaps, she was busy?” Raquel suggests.
At the party we find out that Mari married Fernando Allende when she was 32 and before that, she’d “been around.” Fernando is asked to sing and he chooses to sing with Adan Allende. Elan Allende is never included. The favoritism seems to really bother Elan. I do like the song they wrote.
I love this show! This means it will be cancelled mid-season. I’d love a spinoff with all the domestic workers telling their stories.
This show is everything!!!
Tamara, I waited so impatiently for your recap that i nearly posted a comment in your Porsche spinoff post, or as i like to call it the Porsche Pushin post, asking you to please hurry with your Mexican Dynasty recap because i couldn’t wait to hear if you loved it as much as i did.
So pleased to hear you do! It’s my new favorite show y’all!
So far, I’m living for Raquel, even though I know she would tell me to drink more water and to step away from the burritos…Once i lose 20 lbs i know we could be besties!!
These recaps will always be slow to post. For one I will have a RHOBH headache to start and more importantant, I’m going to actually look at the TV and WATCH this show. It’s amazing. Also, did you NOTICE I’M BILINGUAL.????
I mean I need some time to play with Google translate while watching.
“Estoy celoso”..you are too funny! Keep it up!
Loved it when they spoke Spanish during sentimental times.
Anytime you need help with Spanish translations, just ask TT!
I love a show in its first season, the people are no where near as bitch and jaded as they are further on. Even this cast seems lighter somehow, it is just what I need. The only thing that bothered me was the parrot dying so young, they are supposed to live way longer than 15 years.
So TT you are going to live in Costa Rico AND a farm in the country? Sounds wonderful!
I will not be farming in the country. 🙂 If I ever complete the Herculean task of moving anywhere, I will be doing as little as possible. 🙂
Especially an African Gray. They are known for longevity. It would have been extra sad if we had fallen in love with Kimbo and then he died. I wonder if Joca cleaned the oven with spray shit (cagada o caca). That is how my friend accidentally killed his macaw.
Sorry, have to disagree. I had to slug through it.
Love love love. The crazy is real!!
That 27yr old teenager is gonna be annoying, an incarnation of the whole spare the rod thing. He probably needed to be smacked a few times just in this epi. I like the older lady that was widowed. But then again i like LVP. The fabulous gay man is entertaining but I could do without another mention of his lists. Although Fernando was very good looking in his younger years.
Costa Rica is wonderful. I would have liked to move there a few years ago but life intervened. Its very beautiful and very economically & politically stable, pura vida.
I have looked forward to this show because we finally get to see Mexico City, which typically is not featured on Bravo shows. I like how the cast is fun and witty, but without all the table tipping ,and fighting we see on other shows like RHOA or New Jersey.
Did Bravo get the idea to do the show because Ms Bessudo is Mauricio Umansky’s cousin? I always thought it was portrayed that when Kyle met him, he was just a poor young guy from Mexico. But if he was in Beverly Hills with his cousin the Jarrito’s heiress, seems like he came from a wealthy family.
The only disappointment for me is the homes. I thought wealthy people in Mexico City would like in big Colonial mansions like the type when Bethenny took the RHNY girls to tequila, either the homes would be like a Mexican colonial hacienda or if new like the beachfront mansion Bethenny found in Cabo. There is a big security guy who sits in Mari’s kitchen watching the security cameras (they remind of Scarface),, so maybe these people need to live in glass towers for safety reasons, instead of a traditional home on the ground? I don’t know, but there is a lot of kidnapping in Mexico, so maybe it’s safer up there.
It was ALWAYS implied that Mauricio came from money. His mother has at least one PhD.
I always got the sense Kyle married Mauricio against her mother’s wishes. Like his money wasn’t as good as Hilton money. Kathy Hilton wishes she was as fabulous as Raquel Bessudo!
This show is everything! It was so freaking amazing and I was actually laughing out loud so much I was worried I might wake up the kids. How in the world did this show come about? Is Mauricio a part of the production? Everything and everybody were pure perfection.
For a second I thought I was looking at Mama Dee Simmons in Mexico
Agreed, we will have to call her Mama B.
Mrs Besudo looks like Mama Dee’s twin sister.
OMG! You guys, stop saying that! Raquel is mucho prettier than Mama Dee!
I absolutely like this show. I anticipated the premier and it delivered.. I know there are those out there that would say different, because of the drama free first episode. In my opinion, drama is not needed for a reality show to be watchable or successful. I hope they keep Mexican Dynasties and I believe they will. The Latino audience is a huge market. This show earned recording space on my DVR.
The 27 year old going on 8 is super creepy. His mannerisms and eye expressions are too much. Also, from what I heard, Dude cannot sing. Aside, I enjoyed the show! Some shock value but it’s so different and lively when compared to any Real housewives show!
I thought Adan was going to be an annoying spoiled brat as well. But he is hysterical and his confessionals are the best of the bunch with the except of the help. I predict y’all will fall in love with him by the end of the series.
The culture is different too, kids usually stay with family until they marry. Strong family units from my experience.
I think you have Mexican men mixed up with Italian men.
I think Adan is comical. He is so stuck in a time bubble. When he referenced living with his parents was like living in the college dorm, I got a visual of my parents living in Moody Towers with me. Naw. Not cool. He must have been a dork in college. I love my parents, but there is no way Joe and Addie Mae would have been cool enough to kick in the dorms with me, let alone a fraternity party.???
Moody Towers? UH?
University of Houston. Moody Towers was my first dorm experience. And, I loved it. I like to tell people I lived a high rise single life at 18 yrs of age. ???
North Tower 9th Floor! Loved it, except the laundry room being 9floors up! I got my Alarm tshirt stolen! I miss those tiny little rooms, the Pizza place downstairs & the vball court! So much fun!!
Omg that obviously planned duet! “Con Papa” I almost died when he said that after speaking English the entire episode ?
Omg, im so excited for this show and your recaps of it. So good! Can’t wait for the rest of the season.
Really enjoyed this show and so glad you are recapping it. Hilarious! Lol when one of the housekeepers said “this family is crazy!”
I loved this show! The people are so vibrant. I hope 1) the staff do not get in trouble for saying things about the families, although I am pretty sure if they’ve been with them long enough they’ve said many of these things already. 2) They don’t change when/if they come out with season 2.
For future reference (in case you care about this sort of thing) “Aye dios mio!” would be better than “oh dios mio”. Although I see where you were going with that.
So glad you’re going to be recapping this show.
Fabulous recap, Tamara! This show is going to be a huge hit. The three families are entertaining and a breath of fresh air. Adan is ridiculous, crawling into bed with his mom and dad every morning – a definite case of arrested development, but it sounds as though he has it made by living at home, as they let him have whatever guests he wants, and they party with him (presuming you want to party with your middle-aged mom and dad). Plus, they all seem to genuinely adore each other. I love the other brother’s wife – she speaks her mind, which is bound to cause more drama. Bring It On!
I’m not surprised that Mauricio’s family in Mexico is so wealthy. Do you really imagine that Kyle would marry some penniless guy from a little backwards village?
Never. Her mom made sure that her daughters married money and quickly procreated. More kids, more child support.
I just assumed all the females in the family enjoyed motherhood that much as a be-all end-all.
I never got the feeling they had kids for child support.
People usually only have one cash register baby not four.
Glad you’re recapping this. I laughed out loud at least a few times and for some reason kept rewinding and cackling over the “he drinks milk all day” part. Love the eccentric couple and the funniest part is the staff making fun of the families.
Rewatching and recording. Love the humans, who feel like cozy relatives of mine. And, bonus, chihuahua! Nachito!
Okay, I have not watched this yet, but after reading this recap… TT… hilarious recap and now I must watch. I have to say I always shy away from using the term “ghetto” when describing things when we are back in Chicago but as long as nobody is offended, then I’m going to use it also. So thanks! If it’s good enough for TT to use on her blog, then it’s good enough for me.
OT: Waiting for MAFS recap because Luke is so gas lighting Kate like there is no tomorrow. Please let this sociopath get his, cuz he’s got a shit load of bad karma coming down his pike.
Love it! I’m in! Hysterical, over-the-top, and the people came off as very warm & likeable! Me Gusto MUCHO! Gracias TT!
I really liked this show- they are all weird but that makes it look promising. I’ll def be watching.
They are all weird as fuck and all eight of them are weird in a unique way I have never encountered before. I can’t wait for the next episode!
They ran over five reruns of this episode since it aired and are airing the first episode again after RHONJ tonight. That bodes well for this show. And that makes me happy than maybe just once, WE CAN HAVE NICE THINGS!
OBSESSED!!!! OMG this show is everything!
I don’t know where to begin.
Obviously Raquel and Doris are related to Mauricio Umansky. They look just like Mauricio and his mother.
OMG the the fashion! It’s like a fucked up mishmash of 80s club and 90s office wear.
I’m not sure who is my favorite but the gay father sure is a front runner!
LOVE THIS SHOW!!!!!!! And it’s so much more lovely following that vapid train wreck of BH. My God that franchise has gotten so awful!
Yes, I really hope it doesn’t continue to air after RHOBH. RHOBH is an exhausting PITA to recap now because so much is going on and so much dialogue has to be included. It’s like a reunion recap every week. I wish it was on after something easier to recap which is just about anything other than reunion episodes.
I must have really missed something, I tried a few minutes of it but wasn’t caught. Maybe I’ll try it again if so many people loved it!
It’s fun, funny and lighthearted. There will be know wine glasses thrown, not tables flipped, no wig pulling no screaming meemies at the dinner table. So… If you think certain housewives or boring for not doing those things, you won’t care for this show.
Loved the first episode! These people seem very real so far ( the money, friendships, families). Am also excited to see more of Mexico City. It looks beautiful.
I watched tonight. It’s really entertaining. Thanks for the heads up on this one. I hope it doesn’t get cancelled too. I love the whole cast. They’re all unique, quirky and funny.
Raquel would tell me I dress like crap, but I love her anyway. I loved how she and her daughter didn’t want to say that they thought Fernando was gay back in the 70’s. Then they didn’t want to say that they thought Oscar and his sister are too close.
So everyone was bi in the 70’s according to them.. lol
The party they attended to looked liked a lot of fun.
I think I heard that it’s on after Beverly Hills. Sorry TT
I love this show! So refreshing to see unique, interesting people who are friends in real life and have true respect and affection (mostly) for each other.
The fashion, even though it it not my taste, is so fun. And the jewelry. These over-the-top people are grounded in their authentic love for family. And they WORK. At REAL jobs. And they are funny.
My favorites are perennial teenager Adan and jack-off-list Oscar. The help provide some levity and comic relief. “Trump Weight” Doris is great too.
There is some foreshadowing of drama — sibling rivalry and in-law stuff — but that is REAL reality. The way it should be. (She types as on TV Teresa calls Jackie white trash! God, Tre is dumb beyond belief.)
Caught this show in the middle of the night and fell in love! I also thought Mama Dee had moved to Mexico and changed her name. The earthquake drill that the family missed, too dern funny.
This show was light, refreshing, and funny! I am in
I loved it! I love when the people on a reality show actually know/have history with each other.
I’m loving this show and would pay to watch a show staring their staff! They are amazing and clearly are very close with the families.
Finally getting completely caught up, I really wanted to watch this before I go back to work again tomorrow and SOOOO glad I did!
Quirky, mischievous, rich and a different culture? Love it!!! Your recap actually helped me prepare, normally I like to read your recaps after I’ve watched the episode but it really was helpful today! Thanks TT, I’ll probably always be behind watching this…
I loved this show too. Subtle, clever shade and goofy family dynamics are such a breath of fresh air over some of the reality TV rachetedness.
I also thought Adan was hilarious in his interviews. Even when Jenny “accidentally” walked in on him changing, the way he delivered something like, “Guys, they are just a man’s legs,” cracked me up. There’s obviously favoritism going on, but even if it bothers Elan, he seems somewhat resigned to it and can also recognize he isn’t willing to tow his parents line to be the favorite.
This is even better than I expected!!!! THANK YOU BRAVO! Adan and the milk…. the frozen parrot… it’s all so good!!!!!
I’m always late to the party. Just read the recap and decide to give it a go. I really enjoyed it. I’m starting episode 2 now, then 3. In bed, with the dog watching a really good show. Life is good. Thanks, TT, I probably would have passed on it if you hadn’t recommended it.