When I get ready to recap 60 Days In and other shows I go into the admin forum and pull up all the episodes to grab the tags to paste into the new recap. Because I can’t remember anything, I’m always surprised by the number of comments. Or in the case of 60 Days In the lack thereof. I’m used to shows that aren’t on Bravo being ignored, but this show used to do fairly well with reader engagement. Then I remembered, with the except of Mark, possibly Vivivan, we have a series of fame whores who just want to be on TV. It seems like you guys are tuning out for that.
At any rate, I have to see how it all turns out, so I shall soldier on until the end. I feel like most of you will return for the reunion which will probably be epic. Especially if David is there. I bet he pussies out.
F300 (Brooke, Vivian, Jazmyn)
The ladies of F300 have been made as plants by their guards so they are getting lots of shakedowns. They even brought in dogs to search them and freak them out. They’ve also taken their linens and limited their ability to get toilet paper. They also sent Jasmine back into the pod instead of sending her to the hole like they normally would. So tensions are super high with the women.
During the middle of the night, the guards came in and questioned Vivian about the Jasmine fight. They were trying to say she masterminded the fight. The next morning, Vivian goes running to Jazmyn to tell her about the encounter.
A guard calls Vivian over they put her on lockdown. It seems like it was for talking to Jazmyn about the late night interrogation. Meanwhile, Jasmine just laughs and laughs with no consequences. When Vivian gets out of lockdown, Jasmine is using someone’s stolen PIN. She and Jazmyn are pissed.
Oh Girl Has Grown Up!
Jazmyn is itching to punch Jasmine. However, she is terrified of the hole. I don’t think she will be able to control herself much longer. She may blow her cover if they try to take her to the hole. It’s not like they don’t already know.
At the end of a brief lockdown, Jasmine and Nana get into a verbal altercation over Jasmine stealing her PIN. Apparently, some guard actually gave Jasmine a ticket for stealing. So Jasmine is gloating that she got a ticket with no consequences. Even Vivian wants to punch Jasmine in the face. Jazmyn goes to tell her what a low down dirty dog she is. The guards open the door to break things up. They call Jazmyn out of the pod. Apparently, they asked her what was going on and she told them. They pulled out Jasmine and moved her to another pod.
Yesterday, Abner punched the new kid Ikaika, Then he had his guys beat the crap out of him. It’s the next day and in his confessional, Abner seems to be almost bragging about it. Production comes in to pull him for an interview. In this one, he cries and says Ikaika reminds him of himself 25 years ago. He seems to be having a breakdown. Is he realizing he’s lost touch with why he is there? That’s hard to say.
Abner starts talking about “his friend” who was a former Latin King (I first typed Lion King.It’s been a rough day.) He says the guy waits outside the jail and picks guys up and takes them to church and then takes them to a halfway house. That guy is Abner. He seems to be getting back on track after taking things way too far last week.
H200 (Mark, David)
David is also having some sort of change in attitude. He feels like he has completed his mission. He seems ready to leave. In the meantime, he wants to talk to whoever he wants to and not be restricted by the racial segregation. What a novel concept. We have a kid over in H100 getting his ass beat for that sort of thinking. David is going to get some white boy named Dillon’s ass whooped. He’s telling him if he wants to be black, be black. He’s doing a reverse Mean Girls on the kid encouraging him to sit with them at lunch. This will not end well.
At lunch, Dillon sits with Rocker and David. This would be great if there were not two undercovers in the pod who are now in danger. Mark is probably going to have to say something to Dillon. And he does but he doesn’t make a big deal out of it. He basically warns him that when he gets to prison, Josh is going to make sure the white inmates know he is a traitor to his race. Did you forget you are on 60 Days In David?
David Starts A Race War
Dillion tells Rocker. Rocker calls David in. We get a shot of David in confessional. It burns him up that Mark is in a leadership role with the whites. What did he do to earn that? David wants to know! Apparently, David thinks the only way to gain authority is to beat your chest and declare yourself the Messiah like he did. Dillon tells Rocker and David he doesn’t want to run with the whites when he gets to prison. Dillon is clearly an idiot who is headed to several ass beatings. I imagine he will get one, well before he gets to prison for the really fun times ahead of him.
Rocker wants to bring Josh in. David tells Josh that Dillon is “more black than white, technically.” David starts going off on some kind of “We Are The World” moment. That’s all fine and dandy out in the world. But David is setting this Dillon kid up for a really hard life. In confessional, David, who is suddenly and expert now in prison life, says no one is going to kill Dillon. Seriously, did you forget that you are on 60 Days in David?
Meanwhile, most of this jail is ready to go after Dillon because he is a race traitor. The Chicanos would join in with the whites to beat his ass. Did I mention this is all David’s fault?
Why Just Fuck Up One Pod When You Can Fuck Up Two?
Just when you think things could not get any worse, B-Shaw who was rolled out of H-100 by Abner is not talking about that situation with David. Dumbass David tells B-Shaw that Abner is his boy. This of course puts both David and Abner at risk David is having a banner day. Now he is compromising people in a whole other pod. He’s a genius this one. When the producers point out that this puts both him and Abner in danger. He reminds her that he is running the jail and no one is going to question anything he says. The stupid is strong in this one.
B-Shaw apparently, asked to roll out. I’m not so sure how many places or left for him to roll to, but they let him move. The guard starts talking to David. He says this has been a really weird day. Between the white kid deciding to be black and B-Shaw’s sudden decision to roll out it’s been crazy. He seems to be telling David he has never had any trouble out of this pod until he showed up. David really likes this guard and I feel like he is about to tell him he is a cop. He is dying to tell him all the cop things he does and how important he is. Girl, please. Learn when to shut your mouth.
David Tries To Impress The Guard By Telling Him He’s An Undercover Cop!
As soon as David leaves the pod to talk privately with the guard, Mark knows that something is really wrong. David doesn’t return for thirty minutes. Producer pull David for filming. David is flexing and hamming it up for the cameras the whole way to the production room. He’s in a great mood. He just got finished telling a prison guard what a super-duper great undercover cop he is! David lies and says he and the guard were just shooting the shit about the events of his workday. Did he really think that was going to make sense? Guards just kiki-ing with an inmate about his stressful workday? Did he blow Abner’s cover too? What about Mark?
Next week: B-shaw goes back to H100 and tells Abner that David told him they were friends. Abner is furious. In an interview he asks “Is he fucking stupid?” Why yes, yes Abner, he is really, really fucking stupid. Thanks for asking. Also, you may need to tap the fuck out of there. Also, over in the female pod, one of the inmates has made all three girls for being on 60 days in. Mark is worried about being called in to interview in the middle of this shit storm. This is a wrap. Now how the hell do they get everyone out of there safely? Sheriff Mark Lamb is on the way to figure that out. I assume, priority one is getting David’s dumbass out of there ASAP.