By CJ Bomb (& Les)
It’s been a rough week Project Runway lovers. We have lost one of the giants in the industry, the great Karl Lagerfeld. In a world of throwaway “fast fashion,” Uncle Karl was a shining beacon of taste, quality and many verbal bon mots. He was a prolific artist who created fourteen shows a year. In addition, he also found time to write books and be a professional photographer. Karl Lagerfeld was an all around renaissance man. He did what he loved until the day he died. He was one of my heroes and Les and I will miss his presence in the world.
The Challenge
Moving on to these aspiring future “Karls,” we start this week off by heading to JCPenney. A place where Karl Lagerfeld likely never tread. Michelle reminisces about shopping here as a kid which explains her love of a Brady Bunch color palette. Les and I are TOGETHER this week so there is much wine and laughter flowing, I will try to make as much sense as I can. The challenge this week is to take three different daytime separates and turn them into a nighttime look. They have to grab a live model in the store and use what she is wearing and then grab one more thing they can use off the racks. I’m still trying to figure this out, but luckily I have Les here, and she was a math major at a very prestigious university so she can explain it to me.
The winner gets a two thousand dollar JCPenney shopping spree. That’s a LOT of poly blend people. Irina laughs, barely hiding her contempt. Michelle grabs her regular model not caring what she is wearing, she wants to stick with who she knows. Anthony thinks this is a dumb idea because you should be choosing for the fabric. Anthony you aren’t in Mood. ALL the fabric is going to suck. Madness ensues. Everyone is having a tough time finding things. Dmitry is outside his comfort zone. We want what Christine is wearing, at the store and in her interview. Evan is ready to win with his evening gown/might be a jumper. Les rolls her eyes. We are confused by most of these sketches. If Dmitry and Anya had a baby it would be Sean Kelly’s sketch.
The Workroom
Les doesn’t think Cynthia’s look looks like evening wear. None of this looks like evening wear. We are getting kimono from Biddell. Christina is having a rough time and Biddell has no sympathy. Anne walk in and Les tells me that she never gets “high fashion” from Anne. I have to agree. She LOOKS like she’s dressed in a JCPenney dress and you just know that this woman doesn’t own a single thing from that store.
Anne’s Critique
Anne doesn’t understand what is nighttime about Cynthia’s vest thing. Les yells at the screen to throw it over a black bra with jeans, But Cynthia sadly does not hear her. She’s not sure that Biddell’s “cleansing of the palate” kimono is going to blow the judges away. She tells Sean Kelley his bold mixing of print choices could be very fashion forward or a hot mess. At this point Anne has come to terms with the fact that Dmitry will always do ruffles and zig zags. Ruffles with a swiss dot? On trend? Oh Anne…the green JEANS he has are what you are worried about?
Les yells that the top is the exact replica of the curtains of the house she rented from VRBO in Blue Ridge GA. I’m guessing this is not a compliment. She assures me it isn’t. It’s like the eighties threw up all over this look. Les quotes Uncle Karl…”If its trendy, its tacky.”
Anthony Ryan assures Anne he’s not making another blue jumpsuit and that he will give it pizzazz. As much as we don’t care for Irina as a person, using the buttons of the shirt up the arms of the dress is brilliant. Anne agrees. She tells Michelle to highlight the silver in her look. Anne tells Christina that she can’t make a jacket out of a jacket and needs to rethink her look. Finally, Anne tells the designers to get a move on.
Whatever Happened to Home Economics?
Christina is now making a jacket out of her jeans instead of the jacket? Biddell is going to change his dress into a jumper? Anthony Ryan is feeling sorry for Christina and her “cha cha” pants. There is some Charo going on here since we are referencing the eighties, but not in a good way. It’s NOT Christina. Dmitry and Michelle, best of friends, trash each others looks in interviews. I pause and tell Les about my other Home Ec look in 1984. I have already shared my mini-dress overly long armed disaster which Anya did when she was eliminated. Dmitry has made my Home Ec skirt. It was bad then, and it is bad now. He probably sewed it better.
Les muses on the disappearance of Home Ec. I think teaching us basic skills like cooking and making bad outfits should be a rite of passage. Biddell decides to channel Norma Desmond since he has so much free time and do a turban. Christina is quietly losing her shit and getting annoyed by Michelle and Sean Kelly’s slap happy loud conversation about hotcakes. Dmitry tells them to zip it. The next day,
Sean Kelley steps in to help Christina and Biddell thinks everyone should be focused on their own looks rather than helping anyone else out. Especially since he thinks Sean Kelly’s dress is mediocre. I mean it’s a WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP. Sweetie the CFDA is World Championship. You are being sponsored by JCPENNEY. We tell Biddell he is a dick. He doesn’t hear us. Irina hates Michelle’s look. Shocker. We wonder how Biddell managed to make a 120 pound model look like she has droopy boobs. Les thinks that Christina is TOO focused and TOO intense.
The Runway
Alyssa looks nice from the neck up this week. The guest judges this week are Vanessa Williams (seriously…does this woman AGE?) and supermodel Jasmine Tookes.
Les thinks that Biddell’s model looks like a bride for a yeti. I say Ali Baba and the too long sleeves. That turban….why? I have never trusted anything in my life the way that model is trusting that top to hold in her boobs. We are okay with Sean Kelly’s Anya Caribbean nightlife dress. It’s JCP people. Throw us a bone. Les thinks cargo jeans and lace curtains threw up Dmitry’s look. This look represents everything that was wrong with the eighties.
We think Anthony Ryan’s concept was good but he was done in by fabric choice and color. Les doesn’t think Christina’s is an evening look. I don’t think it is a sane look. Les thinks Michelle’s look is an easy way out. I think it’s the best of a bad situation. I think it’s a better version of Biddell’s look. At least she isn’t wearing a fucking turban. Les says that Irina’s is elegant and poofy. I think it’s eighties in a good way. Although, that slit is high. Cynthia’s office nighttime look will keep her safe, according to Les. I barely remember what it looks like after it leaves the runway.
We decide on, Irina, Anthony Ryan and Michelle for the top and everyone else for the bottom. Sadly we think Intense Christina is headed back down under.
The Judging
Everyone loves the shirt opening as a sleeve and skirt on Irina’s dress. It’s not Jasmine’s cup of tea but she likes the color and neckline. Georgina is getting fiesta in a good happy, too much tequila way. She thinks the shoulders are a little heavy handed. Georgina loves the denim on the shoulders and is getting a galactic vibe. Did Georgina smoke a joint before taping? Isaac loves the back and wishes it was the front. Vanessa wrote “raw edge, needs to be finished off.” Jasmine thinks you would wear it to a “space party” and doesn’t get it. Did she split the joint with Georgina?
Georgina tells Christina that she tried too hard to be on trend and she should stick with her own personal style. Isaac says if you are going to do a flamenco fantasy pant you need to go big or go home. Vanessa said she wouldn’t be caught dead salsa dancing in these. Jasmine loves the pants. But doesn’t think they are a nighttime look.
What Did The Judges Expect From This Crappy Challenge?
Vanessa thinks Cynthia’s vest is frumpy and matronly. Georgina wants to see it without the jacket. She thinks she should have spent more time on what was underneath.
According to Isaac, the third tier of Sean Kelly’s dress ruined the look. Georgina thinks he should have been more aggressive in mixing the patterns. Vanessa thinks he did a good job making cheap fabric look expensive. Jasmine just wants the waist cinched more. Alyssa wants to like it more than she does.
Jasmine LOVES Biddell’s disco base jumper outfit. We question her taste. Vanessa thinks its retro and yet still modern. Isaac loves the sophistication of the bronze accents. Georgina thinks his commitment to go super different worked. Now we feel like we smoked a joint.
Who Won? Who Went Home?
Evan Biddell wins?? WTF? We pound our wine and agree this JCPenney challenge SUCKED. It’s down to Christina and Cynthia. Boring or Crazy? They choose to send boring home. Goodbye Cynthia! We never got to know you but you seemed very, very nice.
We love you all and hope to hear from you in the comments! Now I’m going to stagger home and pop some Advil in preparation for tomorrow’s slight headache. MWAH! CJ and Les.
This was a stupid competition for stupids. How the fuck did Evan not go home, let alone win. I’ve been wanting him out since week one because it took four weeks to realize that Biddell is Evan.
Two of my favorites are in the bottom neither deserved to go home just because JCP sucks.
I want to know how Evan spent $2K in JCP.
I’m curious about that myself…..
Norma Desmond is exactly right!
First he’d need to find a JCP still open.
“An upturned nose may gather flies.” — Contestant on To Tell the Truth, circa 1960
When you grow up on a budget, you learn to look for VALUE, not labels. When you grow up sewing, you know how to see what is made well IF you like the style and fabrics.
Levi’s. An AMERICAN ICON for a reason! Wish they would have a Levi’s challenge!
Trendy stuff. No sense investing when it looks dated next month.
Kids clothes and baby clothes. The Oshkosh lasts forever and the others last until the kids out grow them.
Men’s pocket Tees. And plain pocket jeans, for “throw-away” work wear or sports, or men who don’t care about labels and like Lev’s for real life.
Cookware. If you know cookware, you can tell which are “quality name brands” manfactured the same as pricey or the “everyday” level with another label/logo slapped on.
The towels are decent. They last pretty long without the trim shrinking. When they start fraying, use for dogs, blocking knitting, rolling hand-washable, then car washing. Mine are 20 years old and going strong.
I am the opposite of Margo, no labels unless they ARE the best in quality and style, not just because they have initials and logos.
I get it Nanette, I do. I shop at Target, hell I just bought pants off of Amazon Prime (they are fabulous if anyone wants the link AND $37) and I STILL have my Levi’s jeans and jacket from high school. But this is supposed to be a high end fashion show. The international CHAMPIONSHIP. And JCP isn’t high end. Trying to make it something it is not isn’t working. I don’t want to see quality separates and well constructed jeans. I want to see something AWESOME.
Agree with what y’all are saying! Today I bought a throw away jean jacket to clean up and embellish with other recovered textiles. Fun! Lots of us reformed Nordstrom girls from the 1980s love us some bargains. It is all about style, quality, and value, not where it was purchased. Maybe someday I can fit into my old Levi’s. Protein diet, it is time for us to go into fat burning mode! I am inspired! Thanks ladies. ???
Who is the Jasmine and where is her taste? Did she drop it on the runway? Seriously? Craptastic challenge. I miss good challenges.
I loved the bell bottoms. Not for someone my size but they were great on the model and Jasmine could rock them.
I NEVER disagree with you guys… BUT, Biddels was at LEAST the most interesting on that car crash of a runway. And it looked finished. Best of a bad bunch I say. Not that thats much of a compliment.
Sidenote: I have a broken ankle. I went to get groceries at my local store today in sweats. The clerk said to me, “Oh! I’ve never seen you dressed like that… How are you?” I was mortified.
Then I remembered what Onkel Karl said: “Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life and bought some sweatpants.”
So I immediately went home, popped some opiates and squeezed myself into a damn tailored pant and a brogue. Lest we forget.
Well done sir.
Mark…your comment is everything!
“Then I remembered what Onkel Karl said: “Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life and bought some sweatpants.”
/cries splashy tears into my stupid plain yogurt with mediocre strawberries…
Someone gave me an LV bag a while back.I hate it from a practical sense, because it is just a vast dark hole of a bag. But sometimes I carry it to the bank or Whole Foods.
Then one day I saw a meme about Walmart Clothes and designer handbags…
I’m just not meant to be a fashionista. Though I pulled off a few looks about half a cubic ton ago.
/SOBS
As long as your hair is clean and you’re wearing mascara, you’re golden.
Onkel Karl was right … but I bet you ROCKED those sweatpants. Or “joggers,” if you are Sheree.
Great recap for a terrible challenge. Evan Biddell’s was the worst!! Hated the pants. Sean Kelly should not have been in the bottom three.
I watched an old Project Runway marathon when Christian won. It was so good!!! Miss the way the show used to be. Hope it goes back to some resemblance of that?
Regular Project Runway will be back on Bravo in a few months. New host and new mentor. I’m hoping it will be good.
It will be here on March 14. I hope Christian Siriano is as good of a mentor as anyone who is not Tim Gunn can be.
So, I went to JC Penney online and the answer to the question is, not clothing. But they have other items like mattresses, appliances, let supplies.
There was a picture of a dog garment with all four legs covered and a hood. No dog included.
I started imagining Banjo modelling this outfit and started giggling.
If you needed nothing you could donate $200 to a shelter or rescue for pet items.
They seem to carry Sephora items, too.
We have a Sephora inside our JC Penney.
Trying to get caught up on my DVR, so glad reading CJ and Les are reunited for this episode! CJ, you rock but the two of you? Together? The chemistry is perfection! I giggled and even rethought some of my opinions…because of your healthy banter.
I coudln’t look when Evan’s model walked out on the runway, I was sure he was going to be sent home.
I actually liked Bidells outfit. Even Sean’s. Dmitry is really disappointing me this season. It’s overdone and cheap looking. Where’s the chicness of yore?
Me, too. Dmitry is phoning it in with all his tired ass designs. Maybe the Botox has corrupted his creativity. ?
Christina did need to go bigger with those pants. Would liked to have seen more from Cynthia, but her evening wear take gave me sad wallflower.
People…. please. The Worst Challenge Ever! I am still mystified over who the heck dresses Alyssa, so that always baffles me, but this challenge? The Studio 54 look was, I hate to admit, the best of the lot and that’s not saying much.
And this is the WORLD’S best Project All Stars? God help us all.
Great recap and thank you!
This challenge was awful, the only redeeming quality is that it is the impetus for this great recap!
This season, I love how any time that JCP is mentioned they slap “previously recorded” up on the screen. It’s like JCP is slowly backing away and shielding its eyes from the Harvey Weinstein connection.
And also probably going out of business…
I like Biddell’s outfit best. It’s not anything I’d wear but the model looked great. I take that back, I’d wear the turban while I was painting so as not to get it on my hair. Anthony Ryan, that was one old-fashioned look, you were lucky you were safe. Dmitry, ruffle on top and ruffle on bottom is overkill and detracts from both garments. Too distracting for my eyes to focus on something. Christina and Cynthia, I am glad one of them is gone if only because I can’t keep track of who is who. Liked them both seemed like nice women. Although the judges liked the denim shoulders in Michelle’s look, I disliked it. it’s like you left the dry cleaner hanger cardboard in the dress. A little last minute add-on.
And speaking of shoulders, Irina’s dress was too tight on that model’s lower torso and the shoulders were gimmicky. That was a tough challenge because I didn’t like what any of the models were wearing while in JCP.
It would have been a GREAT challenge IF the designers could have chosen three separates instead of having two prechosen on the model. Still difficult, but the designers could have chosen better. Also, if they had been allowed to do LIMITED shopping at Mood. If Sean’s dress had fit better in the boobs (just a dart or tucks or ease!) and he had been able to get some contrast (black) for bias trim it could have looked good. Done before, but good.
It made me laugh that some of them thought this was Anya’s challenge because I was thinking the same thing. (Until she had to sew the pieces together.)
It is interesting that the judges comment on not liking the fabrics. Basically the fabrics were chosen for them so this doesn’t say much for JCP and whoever set up this challenge!
This season was over the minute they sent home Sunny Fong. STILL.NOT.OVER.IT!
I too am on the Sonny Train all the way to the end. Especially after the inconsistency on the airplane challenge. Too bad there isn’t a Last Chance Kitchen PR version. Sonny would come back and win it all.
They couldn’t afford it probably.
This completely! Two parts pre chosen and one part from the store, no Mood, no time, I get why Michelle chose her model over fabric! At least she has a semblance of order in chaos
He was the best by far. I keep hoping they’ll bring him back.
CJ & Les – together again! 🙂
The only reason I continue to torture myself with this show are the recaps, (and the vain hope that somehow Anthony Ryan will suffer some kind of humiliation and finally leave in disgrace).
I loved the bell bottoms too TT.
Me too! I thought the lite weight of the pant would be fun at night. Cool because it gets hot on a dance floor, fun stuff happening at the lower legs that do all the moving.
Hey! What do I know?
Rerun of Season 1 on Bravo today !
TT and All project runway junkies! Bravo is having a PR marathon and season
1 (the unicorn) is on! You can’t buy that season or stream it! I know I’ve tried for years! And this season is truly the BEST! Don’t miss it!