Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club: Lindsay Flips The Script

The description of every episode of the season always makes it seem like someone is getting fired. Also, they all start with the word, Lindsay. This week, Lindsay Lohan flips the script, I hope that means that something so exciting happens that I can get you guys to come read the post and chat with me about it! I’m kind of bummed y’all are not watching this with me.

Last week, May finally got fired. Brent and Kailah are both giant douchebags about it. Jules is just glad it wasn’t her. I’m shocked Jules wasn’t fired at the same time. They both fucked up.

Brent seems to be trying to get back with Sara and this leads to fights. 

You’re Fired! Wait No! I Meant You’re Fired!

Panos tells May that he has booked a flight home for her tonight. He gives her a hug and buys her a shot. Then Lindsay comes and leads May away to talk. Oh Lindsay, the girl is inept. Tell her you are putting Jules in the seat next to her to keep her company and all will be right in the world. Lindsay always wants to get involved in other people’s families. Like that time she tried to kidnap those immigrant children. So she has May spill all her family business which includes domestic violence. That is why she is so… inept…insecure…incompetent. Lindsay tells her she can stay. She just has to be stronger. Panos is not happy. He wants to fire someone else.

Oh good! They are going to fire Jules. Let’s put Brent on the plane next to her. Panos tells Jules that she has a terrible personality. He tries to tell her that all models are like that. So he fires her. Lindsay Lohan wasn’t present for the firing. Lohan never liked her once she thought she was religious.

Staff Meeting With Panos

The rest of the staff is furious that May is staying. She really is the worst at her job. They are really pissed that Jules was fired. The little trio that went to visit Greek Grandma last week is back and Gabi is very upset that Jules got fired because they were close.

At the staff meeting, Panos knows that everyone is pissed off and he doesn’t care. The VIP today is a family with kids. Panos knows the father. These “ambassadors” don’t seem very kid friendly to me and neither does the bar. Also, Panos says he has a godson and he can’t stand him. He just sends presents. He assigns Brent and Sara to the family and makes a comment about their relationship. Sara tells Panos they are not together anymore. Didn’t they tell them that last week including the whole story about how Brent threw everyone out of “his” room? Why do the feel the need to tell their boss the details of the break up? Panos clearly does not want to hear it. Now there is a bunch of tension between them.

The VIPs

Oh God, Lindsay is already stalking the children. They have a little baby boy and an older girl. They are both really cute.

Panos loves Kailah because apparently she is doing a great job. She works at Rehab in Vegas and it is owned by Harry Morton. Lindsay used to date Harry. I was shocked and confused for minute because I had Harry mixed up with his father Peter Morton who used to own Hard Rock Cafes but now owns Morton’s Steak House. They are all super successful in their own restaurant chains. Harry owns Pink Taco. They are on a lot of the restaurant, food shows. Lindsay seems to like Kailah based on that connection;

Villa Drama

Later, back at the house, Brent tries again to get back with Sara. I am surprised she ever got with him after he called all the girls in the house ugly. It’s Brent’s week to share his sob story. Everyone has one. We don’t need to hear them all. Also, it sees like he is using this story to get Sara back. It’s working. Don’t be such a sucker, Sara.

Staff Meeting Day Two

The VIP cabana is for a bachelorette party for Jessie. He assigns May and she chooses Jonitta and Eric to work with her. Panos has told everyone else to be sure to keep an eye on all the VIPs and make sure they have everything they need. This is May’s chance to prove herself and everyone else’s chance to sabotage her. Mike seems willing to give her a chance, though.

Lindsay Lohan, Yacht Girl

In a ballsy display of “you are never to old to be a yacht girl” Lindsay has a job on  friend’s yacht anchored off-shore and takes Eric, Kailah and Brent with her. She says she took the two new people because she wants to get to know them. And, she took Brent because he is a problem child that needs to be out of everyone’s hair. Why doesn’t she fire him then? Eric is suspect of Lindsay’s motives for bringing him to play on a yacht while the other work. Plus, he was supposed to be working the VIP cabana with May.

Eric is not a fan of Brent. When Eric and Brent and Kailah chat “alone” Lindsay is listening. Eric asks Brent why he thinks everything at work is a competition with the other staff members. He and Kailah both tell him that it is absolutely a completion. Kailah says, at the end of the day, I’m here to take your job. Lindsay steps in and explains they are a team/family and need to support each other.

Lindsay is totally unhappy with Kailah. Just like Colton suspects some of the girls on The Bachelor are “not there for the right reasons, that is totally what Lindsay says about Kailah. She asks Kailah if she has a boyfriend. She suggests she must be miserable without him. Then, Lindsay asks if she has invited him to “come on the show.” She says she has and he wants to come. Lindsay says she gets her motive now, he’s coming to for the guys jobs.

Then she sends everyone back to work. She has a job to do.

Meanwhile Back at The Beach House…

May did a great job. The bachelorette girls invited her to the wedding. They all loved her. Jonitta is being sweet and supportive to May. Kailah comes back from the trip hot. So, she complains about Lindsay Lohan to every. Not smart, girl.

The bad mouthing of Lindsay continues all the way back to the villa. Kailah bitches to Gabi and Aristotle. Everyone distances themselves from her. She calls her dad and the prick doesn’t fall far from the pear tree. He tells her not to let her talk to her like that. He says to act in a way you are going to be proud of. His suggestion was to tell Lindsay to “shut the fuck up and suck her dick.” That will make him a proud papa? I feel like parenting stopped happening sometime in the 1970s.

Okay, someone tell me they watched this with me. It’s not to late for you, west coast!