The undercover inmates are more than halfway through their stay on 60 Days In. Remember Steve, the super duper undercover private investigator who got yanked for being a security threat? Oh how we mocked him. Sure he deserved it. But, he found out more about how drugs get into the jail than all of the remaining fools combined. Abner and David seem to be preparing to actually join a gang upon release. Brooke, Vivian and Jazmyn have been such an unlikely trio of friends that the DOs made them within the first couple of weeks. Only Mark seems to be giving it the good old college try, and has enlisted Jesus to take the wheel. I’m not counting Jesus out, but Jesus has been known to take longer than 60 days to respond to prayer. I’m just saying. And sometimes the answer is, “Boy? Who told you to go to jail?”
F300 (Jazmyn, Brooke, Vivian)
Sheriff Mark Lamb speaks to his deputies about the hot mess that is happening in F300. It is pretty obvious that the DOs know that all three girls are undercover.
At least Jazmyn knows time is running out. I think her assignment might be gangs. I don’t hear a lot about gangs in the women’s pod. This means Jazmyn has plenty of time to pay spades. If the girls had gangs they could roll out Jasmine,
Brooke says it is difficult to complete her tasks since the guards are on to her. Gee, you think?
As far as the running of the jail goes, Vivian has discovered that the guards don’t pass out toilet paper on the weekly schedule they are supposed to. Well, that’s something I guess. It looks like they get one roll per week. I still have residual guilt liberally using toilet paper remembering my mother’s “four square” rule. One roll a week might be even more oppressive. Let’s just say women need lots of toilet paper. This issue may be the cause of people shitting in the shower and shit being literally all over the rails of the pod. Everyone blames Jasmine for crapping everywhere.
Soon, Brooke has another one of her brilliant ideas. She suggests Jazmyn provoke Jasmine into hitting her. Then,at meal time Jasmine starts going off about a piece of cake. Suddenly,she is threatening to fight people. She’s trash talking way to much. It will be simple for Jazmyn to get her to swing on her. Vivian can’t hear her shows because of Jasmine’s jawboning. So,
she starts yelling at Jasmine to shut it Vivian is ready to punch her. She is furious that the guards came and didn’t so a thing about Jasmine.
Later, There is another toilet paper delivery. This time no one gets their own roll. Apparently, this delivery is just to hold them over until tomorrow. Somehow, Jasmine has taken on the role of toilet paper dispenser and is rolling off paper to distribute. Someone else asks why she didn’t get to pass out the paper this time? This reminds me of first graders whose entire world revolves around who gets to sharpen all the pencils. In fact, sharpening pencils is way more fun than passing out toilet paper. Jasmine declares herself “honorary DO.” Or as the other inmates call her, “a snitch.” As the arguments over the toilet paper escalate, Jasmine decides to keep the remainder of the toilet paper for herself.
The DOs decide to put everyone on lockdown. One of the inmates, Amber, is not having it. If they are going to go on lockdown, she’s going to provide a reason. Vivian does nothing to defuse the situation. She ties her hair up. Then, she climbs the stairs to confront Jasmine. A slap fight begins. It’s very girly. Jasmine needs to go up there and cunt punt a bitch at this point. But, she went into lockdown like the rest of the undercovers. Amber and Jasmine are led out in handuffs. A celebration ensues. According to the rules, will go to the hole and will not return to the same pod. Only, guess who is back before they are even out of lockdown? The “honorary DO”, Jasmine.
Later that night, while everyone is still on lockdown, a guard comes into Vivian’s room. This is not good. The guards said they reviewed the tape and saw Vivian was the last person to talk to Amber. She was point upstairs and then Amber went up and “kicked somebody’s ass.” No asses were kicked. It was a hair-pulling slap fight. Still, Vivian could get punished for instigating a fight. To be continued….
H200 ( Mark, David)
The new and improved Mark is not just my favorite because we chat on Twitter sometimes. He is the underdog story of the season. He decided last episode to get a bit more mouthy with the DOs. Jail is us versus them and as a former correction officer he realized he needed to secure his spot with “US.” Since then things seemed to have eased up on him a bit.
It the most bizarre twist in 60 Days In history, the leader of the WOODS, tells Josh that he is about to get released and he wants Mark to be one of three leaders of the whites. Josh says that everyone likes Mark, so he can be the voice to talk to the people. I am shooketh. His first job is to be in charge of the new guys and make sure they follow all of Josh’s rules for cleanliness. These rules exceed the rules of cleanliness for Chez Tamara. I should probably feel some kinda way about that.
Mark lets us know that he can’t stand Josh and he is only taking on the role for the sake of his mission. Imagine that! Someone is focused on the mission!
Since David came in swinging and aspiring to the high honor of leading the Kinfolks. He seems really butthurt that Mark of all people has been given status with the WOODS simply by being a nice guy. He mocks Mark’s new role in confessional.
David gets a hard on because people knock before coming into his cell. He admits he is one of them now. Remember in the Indiana season when Ryan went full on inmate and Sheriff Maples had to come give him a serious talking to? This seems to happen a lot around this point in the program.
While David is on the phone a fight breaks out between two Kinfolk over the volume of the TV. Rocker can’t hear it and WIllie doesn’t want it so loud. Sometimes that is all it takes in jail. Later, Willie tapes up his knuckles to prepare to fight Rocker. Then, David tries to mediate the situation between them. Eventually, a guard comes in and tells Willie he needs to take the tape off his hands. Willie ignores him and he leaves David in charge of handling the situation. What is it that these guards to exactly? The inmates completely run this place. What are the guards even there for?
David does somehow talk these two out of fighting. Basically by crying. Whatever works. Next week, David declares that Abner is his boy. Does that mean Abner gets moved to H200?
Abner says he has all of the politics figured out. I looked back to the first recap and it says that the three investigations are drugs, gangs, and jail administration. So, I presume he must have been assigned to the gangs? I mean, we knew going in that the men were separated by race and that the gangs run to jail. What new information does he have?
This episode he suddenly wants to mentor the new young bucks coming into the jail. But really what he does is act as the sorting hat on Harry Potter and make sure the darker (not really) skinned kid knows he is black. The new kid, we are calling IKEA, is mixed (and pretty) and doesn’t seem to want to claim the Kinfolks as his sole race just because Abner has decided he looks black. He’s not down with all the racial division and this pisses Abner off. Abner tried to explain he has to pick a team and now none of the gangs see him as loyal.
IKEA starts hanging out with the WOODS. This pisses Abner off. Then one of the WOODS comes to talk to Abner saying that one of the Chicanos stole IKEA’s coffee. Abner is personally affronted that one of the WOODS is even approaching him. Then, he goes looking for IKEA. He brings him into the room with a bunch of angry Chicanos. IKEA denies saying anyone stole his coffee. IKEA tries to walk out and tells Abner to shut the fuck up. Then, it’s ON. Abner grabs cute little IKEA and starts tossing him like a ragdoll. So much for mentoring the new guys, Abner. Abner punches IKEA in the face. Dude, not the face! Abner makes him pick a race, and the choice just got much easier. IKEA is a Kinfolk.
That decision had bad consequences though as Abner tells the guys to “flash him the fuck up, no face, body.” I mean at least there is that bit of kindness. It’s a great face. The guys proceed to punch the fuck out of the kid. I don’t get it. After the beatdown Abner is proud of himself. He thinks he is a great father figure to IKEA. Whatever. But the most confusing part is he seemed to imply that IKEA is a Chicano now. Did I interpret that wrong?