The Party Preparations
It is finale night on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Tonight, there are a lot of storylines to be wrapped up. Next time on the reunion, I don’t expect much closure. Based on the current rumors, the reunion will be turned all the way up.
The two felons, Teresa Giudice and Danielle Staub go shopping for new red gowns to wear to Jennifer’s engagement party. Does anyone seriously go shopping for ball gowns to wear to the anniversary party of someone you just met? They are literally shopping at a bridal shop for a party in Paramus, New Jersey. Is this normal? Should Teresa really be flashing as much money as she has this season? Danielle asks Teresa to have her back with Marge Jr. at the party. Teresa agrees.
Family Ties
Jackie plans to meet with her sister and bring her family back together. Later, she takes her mom to get her beautiful white hair dyed blond. I liked it white. It looks really pretty both ways.
Marge’s family situation and Dolores’s home renovation seem like boring filler for this episode. It’s late and this is making me sleepy. Dolores says she is moving out of the old family house. What does this mean for Frank?
Melissa Gorga takes a DNA test in an attempt to locate her sister. How is this going to wrap up in one episode?
The Main Event
The ladies with husbands that are not incarcerated and on the verge of deportation, chat with their mates about the party. Danielle is the main topic of conversation. I’m super bored. Is it just the lateness of the hour, or is this an incredibly slow moving finale? The show is half over and I have barely come up with three hundred words.
The party decor in Paramus is gaudy. Jennifer’s dress is a monstrosity that is beyond description. It sort of reminds me of a Dolly Parton costume that she might were to perform in the canteen as Dollywood. At the party, there are hookahs and gambling with fake money.
The Women Try To Talk Sense Into Teresa
Marge Sr. came with Joe and Marge Jr. Later, Danielle arrives, and she hugs and kisses everyone including Marge Jr. Joe is still pissed off at Marty. When Marty tries to approach Joe, he wants nothing to do with him.
All the girls try to convince Teresa to get rid of Danielle but she continues to support her. Why? What does Danielle have on her? Word on the street is that is hanging around another felon who is about to be deported to Italy. He is not in the detention center, which I find odd. Instead, he has an ankle monitor. Allegedly, Teresa is trying to line up some employment for Joe in Italy. I presume Joe will not have to fill out tax forms for this employment.
Joe and Marty Take Things To A New Level
Before the brawling begins, the crowd enjoys some middle-eastern belly dancers. Melissa and Joe’s marriage seems rock solid this season. Danielle and Teresa sit by the fire pit and talk. And by talk I mean Danielle trashes Danielle while Teresa listens.
Joe Gorga convinces Marge Jr.’s Joe to try to work things out with Marty. They talk perilously close to the pool. Marty seems to still think Danielle is some prize. He tells Joe that he (Joe) likes to stare at Danielle’s tits because Marge doesn’t have any. I never really pay attention to other women’s boobs unless they are hanging out of their dresses. But, I am pretty sure Marge is a curvy girl, right? I don’t think either of them is going to win Mrs. America. The bloom is off both of their roses at this point.
Later, Marge comes out and Marty is a dick to her. The argument escalates. When Marty says that Marge Jr. emasculates him, Joe shoves Marty into the pool. Actually, it looks like Marge got in the push that sent him over the edge. This had to be scripted. Who fights that close to a pool? Where was Marty’s phone?
Lines Are Drawn Concerning Danielle and Marty
After the fight, all the other ladies side with Marge. However,Teresa stands by Danielle. In addition, Jennifer seems to be sticking with Teresa. As a result, everyone decides to flee Paramus.
Endnotes
Margaret Josephs got a facelift. Jackie Goldschneider has been spending time with her sister and getting to know her niece. Eventually, Dolores Catania is hoping for an apartment that will take five dogs, a chinchilla and a three-legged guinea pig. And a boyfriend. Until then, why doesn’t she just move in with her boyfriend?’
Melissa Gorga’s DNA test shows she is 97% Italian. In the end, there was no match for a sister in the system. Jennifer Aydin is planning her brother’s wedding. She will attend with her husband where they will spend time with their families. Teresa Giudice is awaiting the final decision about Joe’s deportation.
In conclusion, I don’t think there has ever been a more boring finale in the history of the Real Housewives franchise.
The pool push looked fake to me. Or maybe I’m getting jaded. If this show makes it another season, which I’m sure it will, I hope Danielle is gone.
It looked like Joe Gorga was slowly guiding Marty closer and closer to the pool. Totally set up scene!
teehee … “word on the streets” … thanks Tamara – a very proud moment for me!!!
btw … I have been Bravo-free for over 6 months now!!!!!! still love the recaps tho!
Watched 2 shows this season. I suspect Danielle got married for a storyline. Yuck…
I wonder if Marty has gone back to apologize to Marge and Joe. He’s been roundly humiliated by Danielle. I believe every word that came out of Marty’s mouth was something he heard Danielle say, numerous times. Didn’t he sound like a parrot? “My wife’s boobs are better! He was staring at my wife’s boobs!” Pure Danielle. The running theme is that every season, Danielle is a “victim”.
This episode was underwhelming, I think your right about the pool scene possibly being scripted…then again, Marg and Joe were angry !
Two things I would not brag about, if I were Jennifer: 1. The dress was “custom made”…the 80’s called they want their prom dress back. 2. The “jewelry” she borrowed from her brother’s jewelry store…again totally 80’s, It looked like the cheap “jewels” we used to buy at Claire’s back in the day…
Perfect comment
Welcome to Paramus, NJ!! Home of the Garden State Mall, Paramus Mall AND River Side Mall.
ALL within five miles of each other. People want to move OUT of Paramus not in.
Re’ Jennifer you can take the girl out of Long Island but you can’t take Long Island out of the girl.
The only thing that would make the reunion interesting is s flashback to Caroline’s prediction about Teresa.
What did Caroline predict? Teresa going to prison?
No she said that TreApe will divorce Joe in the end.
And Tre would “write” a book about it.
–We’d hear about her struggles to cope and gain the strength to divorce Joe to be , “an example for the girls”
I wretch..
And someone would have to “go away”
OH MY YES THIS!! That is solid gold!!
How could they NOT show it?!?!
The party decor and her dress were hideous.
Jennifer hired a designer for that hot mess of a house?
Tre is just stupid.
Danielle has a hot body? No, she’s just skinny with a boob job.
In the words of Kim G, square tits!
Hahahaha!! Love it!! One of the best lines ever!!
I thought Ashley was the one who made reference to the square tits when she yanked her weave out?
I think Ashley was screaming love and light!! I think she said something in another episode about her appearance, but I don’t remember.
Kim G definitely said you and your square tits Danielle.
This is probably a dumb question, but why was there no ending explanation for Danielle? Was she just a friend, so they didn’t show one? Another dumb question, which probably has been talked about here before but my menopause brain forgot: Did Marge’s mom really name her daughter Marge Jr.? Who does that? lol
Great recap, as usual, TT. You are correct. This was very boring. I fell asleep halfway through. Had an awesome hour and a half long power nap! Woke up and thought it was morning, but it was 11, so I ended up watching the first half of the episode again at 11:30 and the second half of it at midnight. I love Marge. I’ll take her over Danielle any day of the week. And I’m glad Marty got showed in the pool. He’s an A**!
Danielle is not a housewife.
It’s not uncommon for a woman to name her daughter after herself.
Elizabeth Taylor’s oldest daughter Eliza Todd is actually named Elizabeth.
Lucille Ball’s daughter Lucie Arnaz is actually named Lucille.
I can think of two families I know in my personal life who named their daughters after the mother and their sons after their dads.
That custom made dress was delivered to Jennifer straight from Mr. Peabody’s Way Back machine. I can hear him saying to Sherman “The year is 1985. The dress was hideous then and hit is hideous now.” How dreadful.
I think the pool fight was scripted and the push staged, but Margaret (Jr. Mafia) and her Shorty are so beyond classless that they would do anything production ask. They need m-o-n-e-y just to keep paying attention. Watching scenes inside her dated and dirty house makes my skin crawl. That kitchen and the dinner plates look like That 70’s Show props.
I am not a fan, but I think Danielle should be a full cast member. She brings more to the show than Jackie. She is now MarJr. Mafia’s nemesis. Danielle not getting up and clocking Marge is proof the fight at the pool was staged.
I was waiting for Dorinda to yell out behind the curtains.. its not Jovani…
Jennifer’s children should not be allowed in restaurants. Finally Bill tells is wife she spoils the kids. The Aidyns home is horrible, she hag’s dress and tiara were awful. Jennifer needs to find someone who can style a flattering look.
Watching Teresa defend Danielle feels like someone is feeding her lines from the side on really big cue cards.
The no updates on Danielle-is it a sign production is done with her? Fingers crossed.
The beginning scenes with Jennifer, Bill and their kids was heartbreaking. If your kids are begging on more than one occasion on camera for your attention…and mom announces in her side bar…”Maybe this time it will do the trick” then there are some serious issues going on.
Is it just me or are Teresa and Delores slowly morphing into the same person?
Horrible horrible ppl! Terrible season! I am down to only one franchise- NYC! Love your recaps. PS – pool scene was total FAKE!
Marge looked horrible with her flabby body stuffed in that dress. She should have a Jackie bring her to the same place Jackie brought her mother for the makeover. I thought her mother looked fabulous. If I was any one of the people or entities that Marge owes money I would be pissed that she spent money on a facelift before paying off her debts. That woman has really poor boundaries.
Welcome to the site. We do not trash women’s bodies or looks here UNLESS it is bad cosmetic surgery. That said, your point about Marge Jr. getting a facelift when she is drowning in debt is spot on and something that didn’t even register with me. Who does that?
🤣🤣🤣 I am going to remember the “UNLESS it is bad cosmetic surgery”. I agree. Pay your bills first, then get an upgraded face.
It seems to be a trend with this crew. BK court can’t repossess face lifts, dental implants, breast augmentation or mommy makeovers. It galls me and most likely it was trade out. She looks good and it may carry her through a prison term. I like Marge and although she might carry a few extra pounds around the middle she has really pretty legs and natural breasts.
It always seems to me NJ plastic surgeons are a little free with the complimentary procedures. When in Oklahoma ignorant Jennifer wanted to slight the plastic surgeon asking him how that works and he simply replied “busy”.
Jac Laurita does/did that lol More than once too
I remember Lynn Curtain got a facelift when she was also deeply in debt. I think this is either a HW tradition or possibly a freebie from the surgeon for free HW press?
That pool scene was fake as hell. As was the fake fight scene between Marty and Joe earlier in the season. The editing on this show is so choppy that it’s hard to follow what the hell is actually going on. Which is a bummer because it was actually a pretty decent season. I don’t know why they felt the need to mess with it so much. And I still don’t understand how Danielle’s storyline dominated the season yet she never got one confessional.
At the very beginning of this episode, did anybody catch those tacky plastic eyelashes attached to the top of Marge’s headlights on her blue car? OMG! Something a teenage kid would have, but not a grown ass woman.
Jennifer’s husband was right when he said Jennifer spoils her kids, but, HE also spoils them, because that youngest child is way too big to be carried into the restaurant. When the kids were not getting attention, they demanded it by misbehaving. When the conversation was about Dad spending more time with them, they were completely attentive and added their opinions in a polite manner. They seem like good kids.
I liked the conversation Melissa had with Joe regarding her kids listening and being influenced by what he says. AND he listened and hopefully corrects himself.
Jennifer’s outfit for the party looked like Mammy Yokum’s ball gown from “Li’l Abner”! LOL! GAWD!
Tre remains clueless. Her and Dina Lohan are in the same I.Q. bracket
The push in the pool was hilarious!
I agree that Bill spoils the kids right along with Jennifer. In his office the daughter demanded perfume. First he said she was too young. Then she whined and he said he’d bring some home to her.
I don’t care if he gives her perfume or not. What I don’t like is a parent flip-flopping on their decisions based on how much the child whines.
The salon that did the makeover on Jackies mom must be fabulous. I think its called Vain. Best reveal ever.
Not sure if there would have been a season without Danielle.
Something I’d like to ask all here. I noticed a comment on Twitter last night about the show. A celebrity of sorts wrote that you could smell the salami through the screen.
As an Italian American I was offended. Is this any different than when Guiliana Rancic said she could smell oil from the hair braids?
What you mean someone on twitter was offensive? Noooo, so surprising! 😉
I felt bad for Jennifer and Bill’s kids asking for more time with their Dad. I felt Jennifer was manipulating him — and she might still be using the kids to get her way — but, hearing them made my heart break. I think his response was positive. I like the guy. Jennifer is not my favorite. They way she behaves, from showing off her money to threatening Melissa with a broken glass, isn’t the behavior that someone like Bill would want to be associated with. While the kids are sweet they are 100% spoiled. They way the little one whines would drive me crazy.
I am so impressed with Melissa’s behavior this season. She squashed a few things with Teresa stopped it from escalating. The way Teresa was framing a storyline with Joe spending time with his dad and Melissa’s responsibility to control him could have gone bad. But, Joe and Melissa talked to Teresa by herself and settled it. Melissa also handled it well when they were on the trip and Teresa was taking sides with Danielle and Jennifer while Melissa was trying to get Teresa to see both sides. Melissa was able to disagree with Teresa and made it clear that it wasn’t between them. And, I loved the way Melissa talked to Joe to dial down the way he talks about Melissa’s career.
Danielle is gross. And, sadly, I don’t think Marty is that bright. Some of the things he was saying in the finale really made me feel sorry for him getting duped by Danielle. That pool scene was silly and staged. The first thing Danielle said when she was told that Marty was in the pool was “who threw him in”. Now, think about it, if someone told you that your spouse was in the pool wouldn’t your first question be “OMG how did that happen”? I would never think someone threw my husband in the pool and would assume he tripped. Fake, scripted, inauthentic reactions.
I like Jackie. I thought her Mom looked great after the makeover. It looks like she gets raked over the coals at the reunion and I assume that is because she tries to let Teresa know she isn’t behaving like a friend and/or sister in law to Melissa, Deloris, and Marge.
I like Marge and Joe. She has some great one liners.
I liked Deloris better this season without Siggy. She is a fierce defender of Teresa. I admire that but Teresa’s behavior is so hard to defend. I also like her relationship with Frank. There is too much hate between exes and it is nice to see someone making it work.
Teresa is so close minded. She is hard to watch because she is constantly pushing her bangs back and licking the side of her mouth. She disappointed me this season. Normally, I defend her. She is lucky that her sister in law and brother know how to deescalate her madness. Teresa is simply incapable of doing the right thing.
Teresa is constantly blinking with her mouth open also.
YES! The blinking — maybe from the fake eyelashes? It is all so distracting.
XOXO-I totally agree with every comment you made!! Well put-
Thank you @NancyintheSmokies. It is interesting that I have found like-minded people on Tamara’s forum while being shocked by how differently other HW forum posters think. I can’t believe we’re watching the same shows!
You found the right place-welcome!!
Jackie’s mom looked terrific after the hair makeover. Would of just cut and styled and left the white hair alone as TT thought too. She could pull it off and look stunning. I hope Jackie gets another season. Nice to see someone intelligent and not afraid of Tre
With Jennifer, she needs another season. Her youngest is spoiled and whiney, but the rest seem like good kids. It was sweet Jennifer having her oldest daughter at the party. Could tell the kid was thrilled by being treated special for one night without siblings.
Next season will be the Danielle and Tre war, it’s bound to happen.
Marg has her problems but she’s so entertaining. I do think the pool scene was fake.
This last show looked like it had no planned season ending and had to come up with something in a hurry. Why are their seasons so short and RHOA so long?
Good Gawd, Jennifer’s dress was awful. Randomly placed appliqués and a diamanté band on cheap-looking satin with a train? So tacky. She should have hired a stylist to give a nod to her culture tastefully. She is as vapid as a box of Biermanns. No wonder her husband works so much but that is not fair to those kiddos. Jackie might just be too grounded for this shitshow. I think Melissa has really matured and I have enjoyed watching her and Joe this season. I hope they have straightened their financial situation out. I love Marge and her one liners too, along with her mama. I wonder if Marty has apologized to Joe who was right all along? Danielle’s pulled too tight, shiny cat face with the bad bolt ons are as hideous as her personality. I would stare at her because she looks freakish. Delores is kind of meh. Tre continues to be as dumb as a box of Biermanns. When Daniellesaid toxidiity instead of toxicity, it made sense why she and Tre are fake bosom buddies. They speak same language.
Yes, the toxidity comment was classic Danielle. The same woman who kept referring to a group of women as “these woman.”
Hope this show is over, permanently. Unless Carolyn returns it’s not worth the time period
Agreed!
I’d miss Melissa, Jackie, and Marge. It is time to let Teresa go. Deloris simply doesn’t have a story to tell. She is boring and IMO is only there to support Teresa. Danielle is gross and unwatchable. She has a darkness that is unsettling (to me). Jennifer is vapid.
So, if I could choose the cast I would have Jackie, Melissa and Joe, Marge and Joe, Dina, Caroline.
Deloris, Kathy (no Rich), and Rosie would be friends of HWs.
Done.
This episode was so boring I had to restart it SEVEN times to get through it.
It was a tie over what made me laugh harder — the descriptions by commenters in this recap of Jennifer’s dress coming through Professor Peabody’s Wayback Machine, ugly then, ugly now, and as a dress to be worn by Mammy Yokem in Dogpatch; the “vapid as a box of Beirmans,” and Marty going into the pool — especially the slo-mo version.
I think next season I may eschew watching the show (especially if Danielle is in it) and just read the far superior recaps!
So Marge gets her facelift while still stiffing her friend that she borrowed $200k from. Classy. Wonder how that made her friend feel to read that end cap on Marge continuing to spend her money on herself instead of paying her bills and paying her friend back?
I used to like Marge but now I see her for what she is. Shallow, self absorbed and with no real morals.
It’s not uncommon for a woman to name her daughter after herself.
Elizabeth Taylor’s oldest daughter Eliza Todd is actually named Elizabeth.
Lucille Ball’s daughter Lucie Arnaz is actually named Lucille.
I can think of two families I know in my personal life who named their daughters after the mother and their sons after their dads.
This is in response to bc who asked “who does that?” about Marge naming her daughter after herself.
I would have pushed that jerk into the pool too. The only way he can compliment Danielle is by talking about her looks? He didn’t say anything about her being a good person or a good mom or a good friend (maybe he didn’t think she was?). Both times he insulted Marge, he was fixated on her looks. What a shallow little man.
Speaking of shallow, wtf was that tacky monstrosity of a dress that Jennifer was wearing? Then there was that hideous cake. And the house. The house! It reminds me of Teresa’s – a museum of fug and tacky collections rather than a cozy home. What era is that girl living in?
It’s laughable that Marty seems to think the HWs are jealous of him and Danielle. A couple of episodes ago he said Marge was jealous of Danielle — doubt it. Then during the finale he told Marge’s Joe that he as jealous of him.
I find it funny because he seems to think that anyone who doesn’t like him and/or Danielle dislike them because they’re jealous. It’s not jealousy; they’re just unlikeable.
Danielle is the most insecure person on any of these housewives shows, and she seems to be the most jealous of everyone else’s relationships. If she could just shut her damn mouth and stop trying to control everything and everyone, maybe people would like her more. She seems like she has hardcore abdonement issues, and the more she tries to possess people and manipulate them to be with her, the more she pushes them away. I feel bad for her kids because she probably relies on them a lot to build up her self worth and self esteem. She should really see a therapist full time so that she can work through her problems.
@loveearlgray you are so kind and compassionate. You’re probably right about Danielle’s issues. I find her dark dark dark and believe that she likes herself the way she is. If she could get her mental issues under control she does have some positive qualities. She is intelligent and passionate. But, in her current state I really prefer not seeing her. Kudos to you for finding the positive.
Ok, never even occurred to me that the pool toss was scripted. Am I alone here!! He’s not very bright and to me would not possess the talent to act so surprised. Idk. Teresa and Melissa and Joe’s meeting of the minds re Papa was very telling of each party. Melissa trying to be neutral, Joe having his “Aha” moment, and I really felt for Teresa at that moment. It’s not the things you do that you regret, it’s the things you don’t. Danielle has no redeeming value, Marge is my favorite HW (maybe ever), is I’ve enjoyed Delores story with Frank, my ex and I own a home jointly with a lot of equity and have discussed doing a flip. So that’s been interesting for me. Keep Jennifer and the other newbie, dump Danielle, its bad enough we have to see one felon.
I didn’t think it was scripted either. Love Marge and the one liners. She has the best line of the season. “Your husband’s in the pool” while walking away is worthy of Bette Davis.
Was it just me or did Danielle’s red dress look big around the boobies? The dress was already ugly, but the way it sat on her chest made her look very skinny with titties hanging down town!
hookahs/hookers
potato/potahto
There is no place to begin with these people. Jennifer is an atrocious human being. I just can’t with that dress. Where so you even find things so ugly?? A tiara? Dear God, just no with that. She’s not that special. The kids are spoiled. “Buy me two things from Target and I’ll eat my soup.” How about “eat your soup before I smack you across the forehead?” WHO IS THE PARENT??? Tre is and has always been and will always be a world class narcissist. Period. I’m loving Melissa this season. I like Jackie. I like Marge and no to that commenter who said her ass was squeezed into the dress. She is a normal sized woman so leave her alone. She looked great. Danielle is just a train wreck. Maybe not even a good train. Maybe a broken down one that hasn’t left the station in a decade or so.
Other than that, cannot wait for the reunion to watch Tre and Jennifer (and possibly Danielle) try to appear intelligent….
Agree with everything you said.
Speaking of Marge and her dress — have you seen the previews for the reunion? I think Marge looks great and might be wearing my favorite dress. I haven’t seen the full view. I am looking forward to the reunion too. I agree with all of your comments.
Marge was the biggest lowlife I’ve ever seen on reality TV. Her true colors came out when, after dumping Marty in the pool, she walked off and said “he’s in the pool now.” I found her horrendous.
I like Delores but this whole show is like meh. I only watch here and there. Waiting for NYC the only one I watch anymore.
I haven’t seen nor read recaps of this franchise since Theresa came back from jail, which I gave up watching a few episodes in that season. WTH has she done to her face? She’s unrecognizable! What a shame. I don’t know why this show keeps returning. Sounds so boring now. I’m also confused why Danielle returned after trashing her for 2 whole seasons. What a farce.