This week on Vanderpump Rules, a hungover Lisa Vanderpump stumbles into SUR. The night before, the TomTom/Daily Mail party was a smashing success. Everyone loved the stuffy decor. The old lady flower arrangements. The insultingly ugly TomTom logo. The namesake Toms (Sandoval and Schwartz) are ready to celebrate. But LVP channels her best Debbie Allen and let’s them know it’s time to pay; in sweat.
In a totally natural, totally unscripted moment, Lala Kent, Ariana Madix and Kristen Doute meet for lunch. Whatever, infidelity. Whatever, DJ James Kennedy. This is reality. Kristen seems excited for the Solvang trip despite her travel sociopathy. Life with Brian Carter isn’t all diamonds and rosé. She’s ready for some distance. Hurricane Lala yadda yaddas through her reason for sobriety. Something is rotten in the state of My Man, methinks.
Watching the cast pretend to work at SUR is getting comical. It’s time to show their real lives, Lisa Vanderpump’s WeHo domination be damned.
James Kennedy and Jax Taylor are often compared. They’re both bombastic, quick to anger, and the #1 guy in any room. Dueling therapy sessions present their differences in glaring detail. James wants help. He’s a young man carrying an entire family on his shoulders. He is open. He’s honest. By the time he leaves, he is ready to create boundaries with his infantilized parents.
In pre-marital counseling, Brittany Cartwright tries to discuss Jax’s not-so-distant infidelity. She doesn’t want to hurt him, she desperately needs closure. But Jax is resolute. They’ve He’s moved on. They He doesn’t need to talk about it. They’re He’s fine. Their therapist stares in amazement as he bullies Brittany into submission. As the session ends, Brittany points out he’s basically telling her to shut up, Jax shrugs. “Yeah,” he agrees. It works for them him.
Across town, former model and George Michael hanger-on Jacqueline Georgiou shows up to her son’s apartment with an untrained dog. Nothing screams maternal love like the lingering odor of pet urine. James, with Raquel Leviss at his side, is ready to create boundaries. His first reasonable request (don’t complain about my father) is met with an angry tale of abandonment by said paternal figure. Finally, his only other request (let me know how you’re spending the $200 I give you every 3 days) doesn’t fare any better. Jacqueline launches into a vicious tirade about all the luxuries she supplied Master James as a child. Ralph Lauren, Burberry, first steps at Tiffany’s. Eventually, it’s sure to become an iconic Bravo line but it just makes me sad. James Kennedy has never experienced unconditional love.
In an attempt to increase her filial patronage, Jacqueline Georgiou asks Lisa Vanderpump to hire her second son Harry. Later,Guillermo Zapata turns his SUR interview into a sparring session, with James as his punching bag. I want to ask why James attended his brother’s job interview. Or why Guillermo hasn’t faced any hostile workplace lawsuits yet. Or how James drinks enough water to replenish all his tears. But I don’t. I just sit back and watch. Sometimes this show makes me feel dirty.
Finally, it’s time for the Witches of WeHo (Expanded Pack) to make their PJ debut. On the plane, Lala Kent jokes that she’ll never go back to commercial. Eventually, when Randall Emmett’s rented plane days are over, she’ll find a new Daddy. She doesn’t quite stick the landing because she knows it’s true. Kristen Doute is the Kim Richards of the trip. On the way to the airport, she loses her purse and makes everyone wait. In Solvang, she’s stumbling drunk before the wine tasting even begins. On the way to the wine tasting, she eats decorative flowers from a planter. She’s delirious and inarticulate. Stassi Schroeder warns us Crazy Kristen isn’t coming. She’s already inside the house.
Next time: The girls ruin boys night via FaceTime. Later, Harry wants to prove he’s not White Kanye. Katie plays with Scheana like a cat with a mouse. Kristen gets tangled in her own legs.
I recorded this because of Solvang. Been there a few times. A must is the Aebleskivers. I see enough of the vapidness of Californians by living here so I don’t usually watch the Pump shows.
Spot on, Lasy C!!!
Let’s all pretend these fools still work on the regular at SUR! I feel like my IQ drops watching this show….
James’ mother….sigh
BTW, it’s Lazy C.
Fair Lassie C
Lady C — that darn typo S and D next to each other 😉
My irl name is challenging so I’ve spent my whole life answering to anything and everything. My niece called me That Girl for the 1st four years of her life. I’ve learned to enjoy a good name mangling.
My great nice called me That Girl when she was small! Both too young to know who Marlo Thomas is? Thanks for the excellent recaps – poor James 🙁
Obviously Kristen is full-time status but wasn’t it on the news that her role was reduced this year? Been meaning to ask. Her crazy seems back in full force which is what Bravo wants. For the first time ever, I felt sorry for James on so many levels. Great recap! A hoot!
It wasn’t “on the news” it was a ridiculous Internet rumor.
The Witches claim Billie started the rumor after Transgate.
Amazing recap Lady C.
Kristin and the “lavender”! Can you imagine being that wine-tasting guy?
As someone who enjoys Kristin I think she does half the stuff she does just for attention. I may be stating the obvious here. lol
You are, but I enjoy her, too. I love that she moved on from Tom and is on ok terms with Ariana now. Carter is a total upgrade. He’s an actual adult. I never understood the Tom Sandoval attraction. Both of those women are gorgeous and smart, and they deserve so much better. I think he’s on borrowed time with Ariana – at least I hope.
Nice recap !
I really had little to no empathy for James until I watched his own mother emotionally abuse him and expect money from him. What a vile person that could do that to her own son and on national television. Like he literally just said don’t talk to me about dad and she then goes on an endless tirade about his dad…… No wonder James has issues with women with this trashy woman raising him .james handled the situation very maturely. Also I feel like she has something on Lisa Vanderpump? Anyway – I have converted to team James . He’s really trying .
Also this epsisode I noticed how old everyone was looking . Katie and Stassi with their sagging chins and even Ariana lacked her normal luster . I think all the drinking and druggin is finally cattching up with everyone .
Brittanys Wedding venue scenes were just embarrassing to watch but at least she’s happy. Jax is still an ass though, obviously. It annoys me that when Brittany and Jax talk about having kids Katie is all judgey with “ its good to work on relationships first “ . Girl you and Swartz aren’t any better or more ready for kids ….
This! Couldn’t agree more!
All I could hear coming out of James’ mother’s mouth was shades of Kim Richards and her recollection of the past and failing to realize her years as a sot and the damage done to family and friends.
I am glad James has made a career for himself. His family is lucky to have him.
Tom and Ariana are more ready for Kids than Katie and Scwartz! Hell, James & Raquel would make better parents.
This is basically my mom. It’s like James exists to serve her (sick) emotional needs when actually you are there as a mom to care for and nurture your child. Ugh I just got really sad. I have decided to have no further contact with my mother. Recently my grandmother died – the only person who ever loved me unconditionally as a child. Poor James. She will NOT change. She will NEVER hear you or modify her behavior at all to spare you pain and heartbreak. James has a long and deeply painful road ahead of him. A toxic narcissist mother is hard to recover from for someone sensitive like James.
As for what she has on Lisa: do you really get to be that wealthy just from one-off restsurants and bars? I’m gonna start a rumor that Ken and Lisa sold drugs in London and moved to the US after things got hairy.
As a mother, I would never take money from my own children. Parents provide not take. This is vile, and disgusting she is a pig.
I am not my child ‘s burden or responsibility in life, this should be a given my God.
James’ mother is a disgrace. I can’t believe all the bullshit she was throwing around! IMHO, she looks to be on something ALLEGEDLY, which is probably why she snapped on James when he asked that she tell him where the $200 every 3 days was going. She needs help, not only in a therapy kinda way but in a rehab kinda way. She might not be drinking anymore, but something or other is impairing her mind. You can see it in her eyes, she’s looking a bit wired (for lack of a better word). Again…this is my humble opinon 🙂
Agree – she definitely is on something !
Hey where did my comment go? I wasn’t even notified that it went to moderation. It vaporized!
ehhhh nevermind LOL the computer is slow this morning
I feel so bad for James. Both of his parents are pieces of shit.
Didn’t we already see the enchanted forest theme with Katie and Tom’s wedding? Didn’t we already see the complaining about the price of things from Tom? Isn’t Bravo paying for this wedding?
This was for Brittany and Jax’s engagement party not wedding.
I know it’s the engagement party but it’s along the same lines as Tom & Katie’s wedding with the whole enchanted forest thing. Brittany has never mentioned that kind of them before. Just thought it was odd and repetitive.
I think someone is just a nit picker 🙁 adding no valye
Not you, Bee.
I’m totally behind James now. Addiction runs in the family and he’s been socialized in a very disfunctional way. While I don’t excuse his behavior, it certainly makes total sense after seeing his parents. He is still very young and is supporting everyone financially. That’s a huge weight to carry. He’s cracking. You can see the pain. His mother is truly toxic and needs help.
I find it funny how all of the women despised Lala, but now are all besties with her. It is very obvious they only want to reap the benefits of “My Man Ran” in some way. Ariana is now a singer? Interesting. I cringe every time Brittany and Jax talk about the wedding. It was almost believable that this charade is real. Then they went to therapy and it became clear he hasn’t changed and is acting. Losing a parent changes you, but come on. I will say James has my heart now. And Scheana isn’t the least likeable female anymore.
I know what you mean, Beerandy. James in therapy was heartbreaking. He wants to do better. He put it all out there. Tears, anger, everything he was feeling and then he tried to follow the advice given but his mother is a waste of space. He never had a chance. I’m shocked he’s made it this far and still tries to not be what he grew up with. I truly hope he gets it together.
Doesn’t it kind of seem like everyone, including Arianna, is using James? All of a sudden she’s a singer and he’s helping her and then she disses him and he’s on the outs? It’s a competitive cutthroat bunch. I felt really bad for James, that’s really tough. He seems really loyal to his brother which is comendable.
Do you remember the first time (I think it was the first time) that Ariana ever appeared on this show was the time that Scheanna was either taping or rehearsing a song. Ariana wouldn’t allow herself to be filmed because she didn’t want any part of this? LOL How times have changed/ Now she is poised to not only be a top WEHO Bitch but to run over the two people who got her on the show and never look back.
I haven’t watched this yet but I love the line, “You took your first steps in Tiffany’s.” Fan-fuckingtastic.
Isn’t it just Tiffany, not Tiffany’s?
Oops. Stand corrected Twilly
Oops! Now I have to rewatch to see if it’s my error or hers.
No, it was definitely the Mom’s error, which made it all the funnier! She’s so used to luxury, so wealthy, so many fabulous labels…yet even I, a peasant, know its Tiffany. It just made her sound even more awful, that James took his first steps in a jewelry store and that makes her a good mom somehow.
A lot of people say Tiffany’s. I prefer Tiffany but you can’t say it’s “wrong” to add the s. It’s like saying Bergdorf’s or Nieman’s when those stores are called Bergdorf-Goodman and Nieman-Marcus. I’ll stick with Old Navy for now in any case. Well other than a few of my favorite gold things from Tiffany …
So what’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
Everyone calls it Tiffany’s
But the movie is Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I’m confused. Either way his mother is beyond messy.
OMG poor James, never time this has explained so much about him. The first time his mother was on the show she looked she was rode hard and put away wet, and every time she appears she is more and more messed up. No way she quit drinking.
Lala will never be classy no matter how much money she gets from her sugar daddies.
I am dying to go to Solvang, my Dad was from Denmark, and I have even made Aebleskiver from my own Aebleskiver pan. I just looked it up on a map and it is not far from my BFFs house in Santa Clarita, so it may actually be do-able.
I think it took longer to get to the hotel from the airport than the PJ flight took, and how do these women not know that lavender is edible. It is probably covered in dog pee though.
Definitely covered in something no one should ever pick and eat on their way to a winery. How the hell could she even taste the wine after an equine sized bite of lavender? Oh wait, Kristen basically took the wine as shots. No tasting required! And her and Katie were drinking vodka before they even left for the first wine tasting. I get having a glass or two of Dom Perignon on Daddy’s PJ but damn girls, chill a bit.
It wasn’t lavender
What was it? I missed what the plant actually was because I was doing dishes. I just heard them saying lavender and read lavender a few times. Regardless, eating a big ole bite of landscaping isn’t high on my list of things to do. 🙂
Agapanthus or Lily of the Nile. There was also lavender in the bed but it did not seem to be in bloom. I agreed with Ariana the idea of how dogs had peed on the plants.
I have Lilies of the Nile along the front walkway in front of the hedges. I didn’t know they were even in the landscaping until they suddenly sprang up and bloomed after we moved in. Nice surprise! They’re so very pretty. I love all plants and flowers but tend to have a black thumb. The lilies probably survive because I wasn’t the person who planned the bulbs.
I always thought James was a train wreck until we got another scene with his mother and now it makes sense why he literally goes off the rails. It doesn’t sound like his upbringing was very happy and the divorce was extremely hard on him and only made worse by his parents constant bickering. I’m totally giving James a pass this season.
The Brittany and Jax scenes make me squirm. Brittany is so over the moon happy and all she wants is the big white wedding and then there is Jax whose entire storyline is that he’s a changed man. Did he have an epiphany after his father’s untimely death? I’m sure he did, but as much as I wish Brittany all the happiness in the world, Jax is Jax to his rotten core and he will revert quickly to the snake we all know is still coiled inside.
I almost choked during LVPs talking head when she said that giving James’ brother a job might help alleviate some of the financial burden for James. Yeah, right. I’m sure bussing tables two nights a week will make a world of difference for the family finances.
If Jacqueline needs money, she should shimmy into one of those SUR dresses herself.
Jacqueline isn’t doing anything that resembles work. Ever. She makes me so angry! Poor James. If the Witches of Weho don’t slow down their drinking and partying, they’re going to look just like Jacqueline or worse. That woman is a living advertisement for what years of hard living does to your body but she’s delusional and thinks she’s still a super hot 20 year old.
I liked that not only did she ask for a job for him but, she also specified how many shifts he would work a week! Cause that’s how the restaurant industry works. Beyond ridiculous.
Exactly, Lady C! I don’t understand why James’s parents are demanding/expecting money from him. It so sad to see his parents doing this, just reiterates to me that they will use anyone.
The Georgious were to George Michael as the Kemsleys are to Boy George. First they bled George for everything they could, now they’re feeding on their son. So sad.
With James being a godson of George Michael, I wonder if James inherited? If so, explains his mother’s disgusting money grubbing.
Great recap.
I hope none of these fools have kids. They have no clue what it is really like to care for a baby. It is not all Instagram pics and cute play dates. It is exhausting. And requires your undivided sober attention.
And being sober
“Kristen gets tangled in her own legs”. lol!! I laughed so hard I snorted. That made my day.
LA you are right about these so-called adults starting to wear their lifestyles on their faces. I am glad Brittany believes in fairies and fairytales because her fiancé is spinning the biggest fairytale she has ever experienced and he will crush her soul before she flees. It looks like Kristen is not being very successful at containing her Krazy anymore. I have never liked her. Nasty drunk and nasty sober. Lala is a gold digger, plain and simple. James needs to tell his mother to hand over the bills she needs paid. If she needs groceries, go with her. She is living beyond her means and needs a wake up call. She is young enough to acquire a skill and make money for herself. He is not responsible for her economic well-being. His parents obviously cannot manage money worth a shit.
What a bunch of immature whining assholes they are. Why do I watch this shit?
James supporting his mother? Make me vomitous (not a real word I know).
Agree with everything you said. KrazyKristen ™️
? I was asking myself the same question ! Why do I still watch this show lol.
I just laughed so hard at the end there. I’m pretty sure 99% is the shows make me have that same thought in my head when they end. With maybe the F word tossed in a few more times. I have decided that the reason I watch this shit is because I LOVE coming for recaps and all of these amazing comments/commenters!
All I could hear coming out of James’ mother’s mouth was shades of Kim Richards and her recollection of the past and failing to realize her years as a sot and the damage done to family and friends.
I am glad James has made a career for himself. His family is lucky to have him.
What did James’ mother do? After he laid down some necessary boundaries that she didn’t like she ran to Lisa and asked to get her other son a job so the gravy train can keep coming? Typical addiction behavior. No responsibility, self involved to the max. He is trying to get better and maybe that is what Lisa knew from the beginning. Maybe not the whole story but enough about his background. (I don’t like giving her Kudos for anything BUT in this case maybe she does care about him) I am no fan of James but I see where some of his hostility, anger and focus on women comes from. He is one angry young man. He does need help. I hope Raquel doesn’t think it is up to her to fix him. So so sad.
Kristen is another hot mess. They come for Sheena all the time and Kristen is just a bigger mess than Sheena. Sheena isn’t mean like those girls are. Britney is starting to get on my nerves. Where does Jax get his money from? How much do these people make anyway?
I wonder if they are mad that LVP is taking up so much of their TV time? I would be. However it is always more than delightful to see more of PETER!
I would agree about Peter if he just choose shirts one size up. As it is, he appears to be wearing shirts he purchased from Baby Gap. And when they’re that tight he often gets pit stains. Ewww
Baby Gap. Made me laugh. Although last night I was thinking the same thing –
Peter, what’s up with your shirts?
I like him better with longer hair too. And that is not usually the case for me.
Lady C- Great recap. I thought it was incredibly cruel of Guirellmo to imply James’ brother could DJ. Everyone knows the one thing that James is passionate about is his music, whether or not we think he is good at is besides the point. As much as James says he doesn’t care what others think of him I think he is aching to be part of the “Sur Family” and getting thrown out of it drudges up those feelings of abandonment he had growing up. Lisa fired him for his bad behavior to look good in the public eye. If she really had an issue with the staffs behavior she should have put her foot down years ago. I think we all can recall the messy details.
TT- on your post of RHOBH- tag lines, I posted 2 tag lines for you. I hope they make you laugh. Also I hope your back is feeling better.
I loved this recap Lady Cocotte, well done. I just started watching this show a couple months ago and binge watched it from the beginning. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard out loud at a show like I did Vanderpump Rules. I never watched it initially, although I watched all the housewives show, because I thought “who wants to watch young people behaving badly.” Turns out I DO I DO! Where did they find these characters who were so clueless. I mean Jax the Cad :). Then James came along and every time he came on screen I had to pause the play cause he just makes me chuckle. Now I feel for him cause his Mom is all kinds of Mommie Dearest. Oy vey what a piece of work that one is. James makes such a likable villain because he’s sincere unlike Jax and I think that’s what Jax hates about him. Jax just doesn’t care unless its good for him. Poor Britaaaaneeee!! I’m not buying what she’s selling.
That “PJ” was not very nice at all. I know it was only a short flight but still. For all the talk and excitement I expected a much nicer one with maybe less cramped seats, an attendant and more than a basket of snacks and a warm bottle of Dom.
Yeah total fail at trying to impress us. Gross to throw away the money and the jet fuel when people be starving and the globe be warming out here. It would have been a two hour drive. I’ll bet they probably saved max 20 mins door to door. Ugh I feel sick. What a bunch of shallow selfish dumb clueless tacky ppl. Does anyone remember when summer house met Vanderpump Rules? Seeing that suddenly showed me how truly deeply DUMB and well (yes) uneducated these heaux are.
Absolutely agree – and at their ages, some of my most fun memories had to do with the ‘struggle’ of being a young adult and the excellent things you can experience before life ties you down (road trips, backpacking, cheap Mexico/Europe trips, barbeques, etc.) These guys value things that have nothing to do with what matters in the long run.
By the way, every time I look at your name, I see Over-Educate Dolphin. At first I thought you were a Southern Charm viewer (in which case you’d see what/why I LOVE your name.)
My heart goes out to James. I heard shades of me, through my entire childhood and early adulthood, crying and pleading with my mother to stop talking about my dad’s alleged infidelity (alleged bc there was never real evidence-just her twisted, borderline schizophrenic imaginings-the tales I could tell are horrible and my heart breaks for the child I was). Same words echoing across time! “He’a my dad” “I am the child” “Please stop”. And she would get so angry with me!! Sadly, my parents remain married to this day and back when I was a kid my dad only knew she and I were fighting but never the subject. And he TOOK HER SIDE so I would get in trouble. I could never tell him what we were fighting about. And I am sorry to say they never do stop putting you in the middle. My only remedy is distance and extreme caution to avoid it. And time I guess, because, at 40 years old, I finally just feel numb to it. But, maybe not, because this is why probably I suffer from anxiety.
Whoa! Beginning therapy segment! Jax claimed he’s changed his ways…while shaking his head no!
Jax is the world’s worst liar and that includes toddlers.
James scenes in therapy and with that narcissist of a mother just resonates with me on so many levels. And his mother needs to get off her grifter ass and get a job. She may not be drinking but she’s loaded on entitlement and fillers.
I
My Aunt used to call people like that Dry Drunks. I think it’s an AA term that she learned. They still have all the characteristics of the nastiness of being drunk but they are sober.
I watched the Vanderpump Rules “pumped up edition” tonight. And I’m just curious….Am i the only one who wishes they would write the captions just a little bit larger so that i can actually read them?!?
I find myself needing to pause it just read what in the actual fuck they are writing!
#tooold
And I’m only 40…,
You’re not the only one.
P.S. – I’m only 40 too?
Phew! Glad to know it’s not just me.
Or the wine that i don’t really want to cut back on…
Good one. Agree
How does Tom Sandavol afford to drive a Mercedes? Tom Tom isn’t making money yet and he’s a part-time bartender. How much do they make by being on the show? Just curious.
A lot more than they used to somewhere in the love five figures per episode last time I checked.
Giggle, Jax’s age? Can’t wait to see him in reading glasses!
I like James when he is not drunk. It’s easy to see why he is messed up. Also, I think the staff is entirely too mean to Scheena. She just wants to be liked
I know most of the girls can’t stand Scheana. But I still wonder why it wasn’t suggested that Kristen room by herself instead. Great recap!
James is the best. Get rid of Brittney, Jax and Kristen and put Ariana down to minimal player and bring in new blood!!! Oh and Katie can go away too 🙁
How the hell did we get to the point where people are saying “James is the best!” I’m not arguing with the concept because it’s not hard to be the best of this bunch… I’m just saying ….. How the hell did this happen? James has had a complete character overhaul edit and suddenly he’s the Messiah. Who woulda thunk it?
Haha so true. I agree with an earlier comment about how James & Jax are similar, but James is so much more likable because he’s sincere. Jax is just sociopathic in his behavior. James is an absolute asshole sometimes, but his sober personality is just so so much better than Jax at any point. And James is almost 15 years younger than Jax, so he has a lot more time to grow up and deal with his extremely deep issues. Also, I think James is hilarious in his confessionals.
It was refreshing to see the girls getting along. I like Lala but she may do well to look at James’s mother as an example of a woman who rides on her looks and when her looks fade …
I have liked James from the beginning. He is reality gold. I felt that beneath his braggadocio there was a wounded bird. His mother … FIRST STEPS at Tiffany. Why does she think a 1-year-old boy would give a flying fuck about Tiffany? Oh, right, because it has ALWAYS been ALL ABOUT HER. What a piece of work.
One more thing about James … we saw Kristen’s obsession with Sandoval, but her obsession with James is waaaaaay worse. Maybe he has the golden dool or a talented tongue. Spitting on her door is no match for her vitriol.
I’m a wedding planner and I see “Jax & Brittany”s all the time. Poor girl. She is so in love with the idea of love and marriage that she is blind to what a horrible person he is. It won’t last. She thinks that by Jax spending as much money as she wants and getting her what she wants means Jax is proving how committed to her she is and how excited he is for their wedding. Her Kentucky boobies won’t keep him entertained for long. Wonder what she will do when she catches him cheating again? Also, whenever Katie and Kristen come out I get up to get snacks. They are both so cringe-worthy, each in their own way. On a positive note, I do looveeee a good VPR spread.
So Vain? Solvang? Are u kidding me? Can anyone living in California with a compass, a GPS or a map be this dumb? I haven’t laughed so hard in months. Brit and Jax deserve each other!
Can you even imagine them after eating up all the unsold cases of MeeMaw’s Cheese Crap?
EVERYONE in this show are so busy trying to look good for the cameras they don’t SEE what we see. The two Toms are weak and self centered. They don’t even notice they don’t have real relationships. Arianna prefers girls, has waaaay too many sex/vagina issues. Most guys would have kicked her to the curb long ago. Kate just wants a baby. Give her the damned baby and then you can fly . . . fly away!