By CJ Bomb
Hello all! It’s crazy, it feels like this season has been going on forever! We still have TEN designers left. Last week it was freezing, this week it’s hot. (75 degrees in the ATL today!). It feels weird out there people. Les and I STILL can’t get together on one couch due to the fact that there are these people who live with us who keep asking for various things or pestering us with the need to drive them places. So she will be chiming in remotely with her expert opinions.
Alyssa comes out wearing a shiny dress. Cynthia is happy to be here, but she misses her family and her language. I ask Les if they basically just told us who was going home? She doesn’t care because she is thrilled that this is a BUTTER OF LONDON RED CARPET CHALLENGE. She points out that the woman from Butter of London is the doppelgänger for Anne AND it’s national doppelgänger week. Do not ask me how Les knows this, but color me impressed. The woman is deep. The Butter woman is also Alyssa’s height and build and knows how to dress. Alyssa should ask to see inside her closet.
They have a new line of shiny products and to celebrate this the designers have to use metallics with a unique texture. Southwest will be giving the winning designer 5K. Butter will also give the winning designer a years’ worth of products and services for their lines. Michelle is excited because she has been using a lot of metallics in her designs lately. She thinks she could win this one. I love you Michelle, but you are not really known for your glamorous red carpet wear. And why are you wearing my mom’s sunglasses inside? They get $250 (yay) and one day (boo).
They get to go to the makeup studio to play with the new products. Biddell doesn’t really get excited about makeup like all the other boys and girls. Les points out that Django painted his lips like a lion’s and I say that he looks more like a lion that the look that was supposed to be INSPIRED by the lion. We are apparently just not on Django’s wavelength. Sean is going to prove he deserves to be here. Damn the torpedoes, he’s busting out the fringe. Biddell tells a lovely story of how his mom helped him grow and nurture his talent. He says he is proof that supporting and loving your kids will make them better people. Lovely, true words. Anya is realizing she is going to have to actually sew this time. No flowy beach dresses will cut it. She looks panicked.
Anya is running around Mood just grabbing random shiny things. She rightfully points out that metallics can read cheap. Michelle is picking her seventies curtains fabric for her rock and roll girl to wear to her “arty-farty” event. Biddell is going to go very dramatic as he has yet to get a critique at all this season. Irina has designed red carpet looks for celebrities so she’s feeling pretty confident.
In the workroom Dmitry and Michelle make up but in his talking head Dmitry says copying is a form of flattery and he’s VERY flattered. You should be Dima, she took a technique similar to something you have done in the past and did it better. Les texts: Dima! Another one shoulder, one sleeve dress? Can’t he think outside the box? Everyone is patterning and sewing, boning tops, etc…. And Anya? Anya is looking around realizing she’s fucked. I change my mind about Cynthia leaving. But who knows? What I do know is that Anya will either win this or go home. Biddell and Anthony are concerned for her. As is Les. Can’t just drape and sew this one. She’s embarrassed by her lack of skill. (PERHAPS YOU SHOULD HAVE CONSIDERED THAT BEFORE COMING ON THE SHOW) Django’s fabric looks like a Golden Girl’s burial shroud. Just saying. He’s already threatening to strangle Anne if she hates it. We predict violence because it is bad.
Anne comes in to dole out her generally useless advice. She loves metallics because they pop. She tells Irina that her double-sided gold sequin dress is looking like a trashy prom dress. That actually made me smile. Irina thought her girl was headed to the Oscars and it turns out she’s headed to a dance in central Jersey. Irina isn’t worried because Anne hasn’t seen the full picture yet. Anne loves the front of Biddell’s gown and says she can see Charlize Theron in it (VERY good) but that she was distracted by the medieval cape in the back (VERY bad). Biddell says he did watch Game of Thrones last night…… She points out that each of Michelle’s fabrics could be a curtain at a cheap hotel but she knows she has a vision and wishes her luck. When she tells Cynthia she could see Rihanna wearing her gown Cynthia squeaks “Really?” so high my dog started barking. Seeing THAT woman in your look is a VERY good thing. Anthony’s fabric is concerning Anne. He says when he held it up in the sunlight it made a strong impact. She points out it won’t be in the sunlight on the runway.
She’s worried about the amount of fabric Christina is using. Okay I change my mind, DMITRY is using a Golden Girls burial shroud. Anne says it could go “old lady in Vegas”. It already has. She points out that Anya is doing something outside of her comfort zone. Like sewing. She loves Sean Kelly’s fabric choice. She tells Django she’s picturing a rich old lady in Bel Air floating around her pool in a muumuu. We hold our collective breath that he doesn’t launch himself at her. He LIKES muumuus damnit. Django designs clothes that are ageless and Anne has royally pissed him off.
Editing all around commences. Anya reminds me of myself in eighth grade home ec circa 1984 making a mini-dress. I didn’t know what I was doing either. Biddell had some time to kill so he makes himself a fanny pack. Anthony channels Christian Siriano and says that you can ALWAYS keep working to make something better. He’s thinks Biddell is cocky. Biddell thinks Biddell is awesome.
On the day of the runway everyone is freaking out but Biddell. Sean Kelly steps in to help Anya. Django doesn’t want anyone to help her win. Sean points out that putting a zipper in isn’t going to make her win. And he’s being nice. Now Anthony has stepped in to help Anya. I love to see them supporting her. Biddell thinks he’s got it in the bag.
Okay this week is definitely weird. WENDY FREAKING WILLIAMS is a judge. On a fashion show. (that being said, I hope that woman is healthy and safe wherever she currently is). She has a clothing line? Race car driver. Danica Patrick is there. Supermodel Lily Aldridge is working the reality TV circuit as she was on Top Chef last week with her husband (and other than Adam Levine) Les’s man crush Caleb Followill. Weirdest panel ever.
Les thinks Cynthia’s look is nicely tailored but she wonders if it’s a completely vision? She texts she needs more wine. I’m getting a modern take on a sari. And when I picture the goddess Rihanna in it, I like it. Les is bored by Dmitry’s look, she’s seen it before and thinks it looks like a bad Calypso St. Barth’s knockoff. I think it looks like something a Russian figure skater would wear to the after party of a competition. She gets and likes Michelle’s dress. I do too, but I think she’s going to get crushed by the judges regarding the “red carpet” factor. She thinks Django turned a corner. I think he designed the dress Anya was supposed to make.
She doesn’t know which red carpet Christina’s woman is walking. Perhaps a sci-fi convention? Les thinks Anthony’s look is complex and that is a good thing. I could see Tilda Swinton rocking this. She likes Biddell’s look and is getting 20’s art deco. I like the shape but I think the fabric looks cheap. I’m not giving Sean Kelly shit for the fringe because he has done a very cool structural top and they work together. This one is giving me modern kimono. Les likes it. Goodbye Anya. You are a lovely human being but go home and take a class or two. The sleeves on this thing look exactly like my home ec mini-dress disaster. And mine weren’t on purpose.
Les thinks that Irina’s fabric did the work for her and the design wasn’t that exciting. I think it looks like a dress one would wear to the Dancing with the Stars afterparty. Les picks Sean, Anthony and Michelle for the top with Anthony for the win. She picks Anya and Dimitri for bottom with Anya to go. I pick Anthony, Sean and Biddell for the top with Sean to win. Goodbye Anya.
Isaac is getting a nineteenth century Japonais feel with Sean’s look. He loves it. Wendy tells him it’s pronounced JAPANESE. Oh Wendy….never be proud of ignorance. She then immediately takes over the conversation and pronounces that she loves the “origami effect” of the top. Good use of the word Wendy…well done. She wants the skirt to be short though. Dancia felt the top was too heavy for the bottom but loves the balance of the back. Georgian thinks the color is special and loves the interesting use of the empire structure. Alyssa points out that it will look interesting from every angle which is important on the red carpet.
Danica first thought on viewing Anya’s look is: I don’t get it. Lily thinks the sleeves are too risky for a red carpet look. Isaac loves the fabric but thinks the sleeves kill it. Wendy snarkily disagrees with Isaac and LOVES it, SHE could TOTALLY pull it off. Well that’s the kiss of death. Anya basically admits she can’t sew for shit and editing didn’t get to happen. Georgina thinks this went wrong from the initial design. When Alyssa says Irina made a really great fabric choice, Django’s face is everything. Wendy ADORED it. Georgina thinks it looks a little heavy, but she loves the bustline. Isaac thinks it almost feels “furry” at the top. Like sequin camouflage. Lily loves the draping and thinks it’s divine.
Django’s look has grown on Georgina as it has been in front of her but thought it looked awkward walking the runway. Wendy hates cut outs. Danica says there is nowhere it grabs the skin to give the body dimension. Lily thinks it looks heavy. Alyssa can see Cate Blanchett rocking Biddell’s dress. She says it looks interesting from every angle. (Why is Biddell wearing the hat my grandmother used to wear to the mall in Florida?) Wendy is in with the side boob and deep back. Georgina loves the earrings. Danica says the fabric looks luxe but it’s definitely unforgiving. Isaac says that both Django and Biddell went for a flow factor in the back, but Biddell nailed it.
Alyssa points out to Michelle that horizontal stripes are hard on a red carpet because they cut off the body. Georgina is confused by the hem. Wendy would wear it to a music festival. Danica is looking for the “life” and “pop” in it and isn’t getting anything. Isaac says the mix matched fabrics don’t feel organic, they feel forced.
So Sean wins! Biddell is grinding his teeth and hating fringe. To absolutely no one’s surprise Anya is sent packing. She is gracious and probably just happy she made it this far. Do you guys agree with the judges?
We await your comments as always. XOXOXO Court and Les.