It’s time to head off to Cabo with the RHONJ and I am about half an hour behind because I got so wrapped up in tonight’s episode of Celebrity Big Brother! The show is on three or four times a week and the live feeds have me sucked in so other things are a bit delayed. But let’s get right back to Cabo where we still basically have two team, Team Teresa with Danielle, Dolores and Jennifer and Team Melissa with Marge and Jackie. I much prefer team Melissa it’s felon-free!
I’m still not over the whole monkey’s asshole fight and neither are these girls. Marge and Jennifer are going to go at it all episode. Today, Jackie. Marge, and Dolores get to stay out by the pool and enjoy the resort while the other four go shopping. I think production just want a break from Marge and Jennifer going at each other. Dolores shares that she had an eating disorder when she was younger and shows Jackie a horrifyingly thin photo of her. Jackie is on day four of no workout and that the longest she’s ever gone.
Teresa is enjoying some loaded nachos with her foursome and some tequila since she is no longer training for a bodybuilding contest. Teresa passes her tequila to Jennifer at lunch though. Because lunch. And production wants Jennifer wasted. While shopping, Danielle goes after Marge and her relationship with her kids. Melissa tells Danielle that kids are off limits. Danielle says Marge started it and she will finish it. Melissa tells Danielle she is starting to believe what people say about her. Way to support Team No Felons, Melissa. I’m proud of you. Danielle storms off. Teresa goes after Melissa but continues to stick up for her felon friend. So does Jennifer. How did Melissa get stuck with these people?
Back at the pool, Jackie has no idea what a monkey’s asshole looks like so Marge pulls a photo up on her phone. It was a baboon, but close enough. There are too many Facetime calls home on this episode. Let’s keep it moving. I have shit to do.
The ladies all meet up for dinner. They are all going camel riding on the beach. WTF? How did those poor camels end up on Mexico. The girls order mojitos except for Jennifer who wants tequila on the rocks. “Here we go..” says Melissa. And Jennifer is very offended. Probably because she knows she drinks too much. If not, she would just have laughed it off. When Jennifer brings it up, Team No Felons points out she is an awful person when she drinks. Marge gives a laundry list of all the crap Jennifer had talked while wasted and they didn’t even mention Oklahoma. Jennifer goes in on Marge about Marge Sr. having a long-term affair with a married man. Marge is pissed so she points out that Jennifer’s husband sleeps in the poolhouse when he is not in his girlfriend’s bed. WHAM! It’s on! Jennifer loses her mind. Again, because it is true. As Marge says, “Did I hit a nerve?” She storms away and Danielle goes after her. Teresa says she knows what false accusations about a husband cheating are like. Joe Giudice was cheating. For years. When Jennifer comes back to the table, Dolores apologizes and says she doesn’t know anything about her marriage.Later, Team Felons decide to have Jennifer’s back the rest of the trip.
I did not enjoy my camel riding experience in Egypt as a kid. I had a screaming fit riding with my dad because our saddle was leaning way over to one side and I was terrified and ruined the entire experience. I might have been on my own first and then with my dad. All I remember is that I ruined everything. I did spend a great deal of time around camels in Libya though and they are not cute. They smell to high heaven they piss and poop everywhere and they spit. I do not see the fascination. I would not be feeding them jicama from my mouth to their like these fools are. They are wearing helmets to keep them from hitting their heads on…. the beach. Teresa loves how the up and down motion is “massaging her chacha.”
Danielle is pissed that Margaret and Jennifer made up, so she is about to stir the pot. At lunch the top of Joe’s release comes up. Teresa talks like he is coming home in March. He is not coming home in March. Teresa has been up to some of her old tricks. Are you supposed to be around other convicted felons when you are out of prison? The streets are talking about Tre.
Later Team No Felons talk about Danielle and Teresa’s blind spot when it comes to her. Then it is time for the last dinner in Cabo. Team Felon, minus Teresa all do tequila shots at the bar. Jackie immediately orders tequila on the rocks. Then she announces she is going to have an anniversary party next week and everyone is invited and should wear red. Do grown adults in the real world have parties where everyone has to wear the same color? I’ve never seen this in real life. Jennifer is so drunk she can’t find her drink and two of them are right in front of her. Teresa keeps giving her hers. Because, production.
But it is Danielle who is also drunk who starts the ball rolling on the final dinner brawl. She brings up Jennifer’s lips again and repeats what Marge called them while looking straight at Marge as if to say, “It’s about to go down, bitch.” Marge and Jennifer had squashed it and were getting along fine so Danielle just had to stir the pot. Marge takes the bait and says, “Oh Danielle, whatever, no one cares about you.” Fucking Teresa jumps right in to defend her future bunkie. WTF? Teresa brings up that Marge accused Jennifer’s husband of cheating. Even Jennifer asks Teresa why she is being this up and that she has moved past it. Suddenly, Jackie is giving side-eye at Teresa for stirring the pot.
The Danielle jumps in and says at least Jennifer got an apology. Marge says she doesn’t owe her anything. Danielles says Marge should not have been at her wedding. Marge agrees. Teresa says just because Marge doesn’t like her anymore doesn’t mean they all have to feel that way.
Danielle goes off screaming at Marge about her kids and how they don’t have a relationship with her. Melissa tells Danielle that kids are off limits. Teresa tells Melissa that Danielle is just trying to make a point. Wait. Teresa is defending Danielle over her FAMBILY? That’s not very Italian! Marge is shocked that Teresa is siding with Danielle. Danielle is happy as a clam with the way things are going. Danielle goes in on Marge with her reckless mouth and Marge tosses a full glass of red wine on the bitch. Danielle calls her a fucking cunt. How is she supposed to return that dress now, Marge! Security comes out and hold Danielle down as she breaks a glass to go after Marge with. Marge walks back to the hotel. Party lines do not hold on this fight. In her confessional, Dolores supports Marge and says if Danielle had talked about her children, she would have no teeth left. Jackie goes to comfort Marge. Danielle stabs a knife into the floral center piece saying, “This is what I feel about her!”
With everyone standing in the middle of broken glass, Melissa and Dolores defend Margaret. Melissa wants to know when she turned on Marge. She says last night when she talked about Jennifer’s husband. Oh please. You are on the wrong fucking side Teresa. Melissa says that it is Danielle that turned her against Margaret. Teresa is so dumb. HOW DUMB IS SHE? She doesn’t see she is being manipulated by Danielle who doesn’t give a shit about any of these people and just wants to be on TV. Meanwhile,Teresa is going against her family.
Drunk Jennifer has woken up. When Teresa something to Melissa about Marge throwing a glass at them, Melissa says someone on that side of the table through a glass at her! Just when you think the glass breaking is over, drunkass Jennifer breaks another over the table. My TV is paused on Dolores’s very shocked face! Melissa starts coming around the table toward Jennifer scream you got the wrong person….and my DVR ends. It filmed a full hour so apparently this show ran a bit long. I presume it will be shown next week, but if I missed anything good. Please fill me in the comments section!