It’s been a pretty sad day today around here. I am hoping that this show will be a bit of a mood lifter and brief escape from reality. I am determined to make fetch this show happen and to convince you to give it a chance. Who doesn’t like the backdrop of the Greek Isles and hot guys (and girls), weird as hell “VIPs,” a quirky gay boss with a boss sunglasses game and a tad of the crazy Lindsay Lohan thrown in?! Why do I have to beg y’all to watch this with me?
We start with Lindsay on a beach bed getting multiple spa treatments. One of them involves a vibrating vest. I am not sure what that is supposed to do but it looks hot. Like sweating on the beach in a bulletproof vest hot. And who wants their nails done while on a sandy beach? But, hey, that’s Lindsay.
Lindsay is worried that her minions are not miniony enough and are spending to much time thinking for themselves and getting laid in the house. She wants full control of them 24/7. So she brought in someone to threaten their jobs last week. A new hot half-Greek (that’s enough for me) guy, Alex. Alex is gay and has had a fling with Mike who is bisexual has been playing around with Jules.
Last week Panos changed his tune about Jonitta and she now his favorite. At least of the girls. He keeps giving the guys the VIP cabana. This week the VIP is “Big Shaq.” I check Instagram to see if this “rapper” has millions of followers. He doesn’t even have an account. The people hired to be VIPs for this show are laughable.
They minions are also tasked with creating a specialty drink for Lindsay. While this is happening we get the sob story backgrounds of some of the minions. My heart bleeds for them. Oh no it doesn’t. Jonitta did well in this challenge.
When Big Shaq (Personally I would have gone with Big Sack if those were the only two options for his rapper name) arrives, one of the guys greets with my name is Willie. At least that is what I heard. I guess it must be Billy because there is no Willy on my tag list.
Panos lets us know he doesn’t like May and she is the weakest link. He’s also over Jules. And while Brent knows how to work with the clients his attitude toward the rest of the staff is unacceptable. The girls all hate Gabi because she inserts herself everywhere and tries to horn in on everyone else’s clients.
The editing begins to prepare us for Alex to cheat on his boyfriend with Mike. It’s going to happen. Sorry, Johnny. Jules is not going to take being Mike’s professed back up plan well.
Lindsay loves to tell the story of her abusive ex boyfriend who attacked her on the beach and she decided she would own that beach one day. Except she doesn’t own the beach. It’s public property.
It’s time for Big Sack Shaq to perform on the beach. Instead of actually hear him perform, we instead get Panos telling us what a good job Billy is doing with Big Sack Shaq. Really all I saw him do was take orders for water and have a waitress pass the some bottled water. Then we hear ten seconds of Shaq making noises apparently simulating gun fire and ending with something like ticky ticky boom. Not exactly riveting.
After a hard say of bickering with their co-workers and handing out bottled water, the minions are rewarded with a day off the next day. So the drinking should be epic tonight. It looks like instead of going out the night before their day off, they go out the night OF their day off. How dumb is that. Jules is looking forward to another night with Mike. She loves him. Mike loves their easy breezy no-strings relationship.
On the way to the club we learn that Jonitta continues to please Panos by inviting a rich guy she thinks could be a VIP client at the Beach House. There literally is not time off from pimping yourself out for a dollar. Gabi runs up to the target guy and gives him a hug. Then May does the same thing. Jonitta is all like “These hos need to get their own johns and leave mine the hell alone. This is my mark!” Plus Jonitta really hates Gabi.
Mike and Alex are all over each other right away. They may not wait until they get back to the house to hook up.
Back at the house Jonitta confronts May and Gabi. Gabi’s defense is they are in Europe and kisses on the cheek are typical greetings. She’s right but Jonitta is not having it. A ridiculous argument ensues with Jonitta slapping the living shit out of Gaby and following it with a left hook to the face. Gabi just laughs. Then Gabi goes outside and tries to pull herself together. None of the minions go out to check on her. Instead they all laugh and chat with Jonitta. If this were the Real Word or even the real world, Jonitta would have been fired and sent home. Instead, Gabi is worried that her job will be in jeopardy. She collects her stuff and goes to a hotel.
The next day Alex and Mike sit outside talking about the previous night and Alex shares that he feels really guilty about kissing Mike. Apparently, that is either all that happened or all that they admitted to on camera.
Meanwhile, Panos was sent a video of Jonitta punching Gabi in the face. For some reason Gabi meets with Panos first. She greets him with the customary kisses. The exact same act that got her punched in the face the night before. Gabi doesn’t explain her side of the situation and when Panos said she was provoking her she sort of agreed with him and that is not what happened. Jonitta was provoking her. After they talked in a seated position, Gabi got up patted Jonitta on the knee and turned to go to bed. It was then Jonitta who started provoking Gabi screaming “TOUCH ME AGAIN! TOUCH ME AGAIN!” until Gabby patted her knee again causing Jonitta to start swinging.
Panos comes to the villa and calls a house meeting. One of the guys who I don’t think is in my list of tags says in confessional that he thinks if Jonitta goes home Gabi should go home too. He’s a fucking idiot. Gabi is not there because she is at a hotel. Panos talks to Jonitta first and she is defiant and attempting to justify her behavior. Panos is pissed. Jonitta continues to scream at Panos because he says that Gabi should not have been punched and he feels badly for her. Jonitta is writing her own ticket home. Panos says Jonitta is not sorry at all. Jonitta just happens to have packed a T-shirt that says “SORRY” on the front and “NOT SORRY” on the back. That sums up her entire attitude. She tells everyone in the house that she will not apologize to Gabi.
Panos goes to talk to Lindsay. It looks like Lindsay is going to send the both home. Which is better than keeping them both but I don’t think Gabi did anything other than verbally defend herself from Jonitta’s fucked up allegations.
Gabi shows back to the house at about 5 pm. The guys in the house apologize to Gabi for letting things escalate that far without stepping in.
The episode ends with Lindsay showing up to deal with the situation. To be continued…
I’m with you. No need to preach to my choir. I tried to comment on your Jussie post, but I felt too small and hopeless to pipe up. Words are my power and my hope, and they are just failing me today. But that doesn’t mean succumbing to silence. Sometimes we have to let the day defeat us, and sit quietly behind the wooden door and wait to feel the fire again on the next day. Spring will come again.
I always love your comments!
Me too. I wish I’d have read this before I made my foot stomping admonishment.
Haven’t read the recap yet, came for the comments. Luv ya’ll!
Me three. If your words come flooding to you later, I would love to read what you have to say. You are always eloquent especially when impassioned.
Stop trying to make fetch happen Gretchen!
I’m going to hop on the wagon. I’ll start watching from the first episode. I’ve always enjoyed Lindsay and her bag of nuts.
You can tell when a show becomes popular by the commercials. Last week and this week have been ridiculous, especially at the end. We get two minutes of the show, followed by 3 minutes of commercials followed by two more minutes.
Gotta admit, I am really liking this show.
I noticed the commercials as well, but what I noticed because I am typing as long as the show is on and trying to get caught up during commercials is that there were few, short commercials at the beginning while I was trying to get caught up and the last three commercial breaks were very long.
This is how the Wendy Williams show is set up when she is on. She does 23-24 minutes live with no break and then the rest of the show has more and more commercials to the end.
They can’t alter the amount of commercial time they have, the show is preproduced to have approximately 20 minutes of commercials per hour and the shows are edited to be forty minutes to accommodate them. That is why you can save a third of your life by DVRing the show and starting to watch at 20 past the hour and powering though all the commercials.
Big Sack 😂
He’s a clever comedian masquerading as a rapper. His song ‘Man’s Not Hot’ was quoted in the UK’s Parliament last year. Joke’s on the public who can’t bother to Wikipedia a person’s name & are willing to believe in VIP’s 😝
I’m just trying to enjoy some escapism tv. I couldn’t care less who any of these people really are. I just want to be entertained.
Sure 👍 got it. Let’s not then later get it twisted when the ‘performers’ disappoint us with real human problems. It’s just for our entertainment, right? Can’t have it both ways. 😜
I looked on IG. In the US if you don’t have millions of followers on IG you are not famous. Thanks for letting us know you have at least heard of him.
And Twilly, the main reason that I care about who they are, is that they are so ridiculous I think they come from central casting, lol. They are all such ridiculous caricatures of …..something,
And I do find it all entertaining. I just wish there were fewer minions.
Please explain why this was quoted in Parliament.
Man’s Not Hot
Michael Dapaah
Yo, Big Shaq, the one and only
Man’s not hot, never hot
Skrrat, skidi-kat-kat
Boom
Two plus two is four, minus one that’s three, quick maths
Everyday man’s on the block, smoke trees
See your girl in the park, that girl is a uckers
When the ting went quack-quack-quack, you man were ducking (you man ducked)
Hold tight, Asnee (my brotha), he’s got the pumpy (big ting)
Hold tight, my man (my guy), he’s got the frisbee
I trap, trap, trap on the phone, movin’ that cornflakes
Rice Krispies, hold tight my girl, Whitney (my G)
On the road doin’ ten toes, like my toes (like my toes)
You man thought I froze, I see a peng girl, then I pose (chilin’)
If she ain’t on it, I ghost, hah, look at your nose (check your nose fam)
You donut, nose long like garden hose
I tell…
Love that you got the lyrics up in here ❤ Sure: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWYBTtmPlQY She quoted him probably to show she was up on the pop culture in the UK at the time. Doesn’t always have to be serious to make an impact 😋 I don’t know really any contemporary rap but I thought his song was slick. Later I realized how much it does sound like actual popular artists “Skrrat, skidi-kat-kat
Boom”- mind blown!
Also, I don’t think they are going to send either girl home, but I think Jonitta should have been removed from the house immediately.
Is it me or did Jonitta compare herself to a pit bull?! Doesn’t she realize she is supposed to be a civilized HUMAN, not an animal???
No offense meant to puppies.
Nope. She totally feels justified punching her housemate for daring to great a client of the Beach House in public AS PANOS HAS TOLD THEM ALL TO DO MANY TIMES. The girl behind her did the same thing. She didn’t get punched. Jonitta is jealous of Gabi for some reason and is clearly VERY threatened by her.
I think I have aged out of this one, but y’all go ahead